>google translate since im lazy
Sunniva (20) has a relationship out of the ordinary, she namely sex with a tree. Sunniva says that the tree named "Jarle" and she is in a sexual relationship. This summer she will marry.
I and "Jarle" have sex at least once a day, sometimes several times. Jarle has a branch sticking out, it is his penis and we always use a condom for that I will not get pregnant. I often get orgasm when "Jarle" take it into me. We can love for several hours, he is just amazing, says Sunniva.
Sunniva says she fell in love with the tree after her former boyfriend was a psychopath. Sunniva had gone out of the house after an argument and went up into the woods located a few meters from the house she lives in. She sat down by a tree and got a feeling that the tree listened to her. Sunniva has a fetish, called dendrophilia, which makes that one is sexually attracted to trees. In 2008 married a woman with the Eiffel Tower, the entire documentary can be seen on youtube.
Sunniva says she loves "Jarle," more than anything on earth, because he is never unfaithful, she can always count on him, he says no secrets on.
Sunniva and "Jarle" has been together for three months, and now she wants to get married this summer with the tree. How it should work legally, I wonder, but as long as we can have sex, I'm happy.
>2016
>not accepting human-tree marriages.
Webm?!?
>>73294863
Your source is a fucking blog. Idiot.
http://renekleveland.blogg.no/1462553014_sunniva_20_fra_oslo_h.html
>>73294863
>mfw a tree gets more pussy than me
>mfw Im virgin and 24
Why a condom? The tree can't get her pregnant. I've always wondered why women put condoms on things like cucumbers, its not like they will end up with a 7 pound baby boy cucumber 9 months later.
>>73296407
>bark
if you want to marry a tree you are crazy enough to think it will get you pregnant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xInWMRzEan8
>attracted to the fucking berlin wall.
>>73294863
Treevonte gettin him some dem white wimenz.
![hqdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/PTrUiEc.jpg "hqdefault[1].jpg")
>>73294863
So, the tree she is hugging has open space full of green behind it, the tree with condom on has nothing of the sort, we know that both pictures taken from the same perspective since the wood pekker pointing right and she is humping the right side.
Both trees have bit different bark.
So, is it me or she is cucking Pinokio?
>>73295205
the time will come my friend
> Be tree
> Bitch sits in shade and cries. I got this. Bitches love shade.
> Suddenly, a wild vagina appears
> WTF IS THIS. Stahp, human. You are drunk.
> Bitch comes back literally every day
> "Get the fuck outta here, bitch. Get the fuck up off my branch"
> Dumb fucking humans can't even into pheremones
>>73294863
>not a mental disorder, a fetish
>>73299771
Its "empowering" if it means proud womyn who needs no man get to do whatever the fuck she wants and dont want to hear a word of criticism.
If its man its fucking dirty perv and should be castrated and fined by greenpeace.
>her former boyfriend was a psychopath
Yeah I have a feeling he's not the one with mental problems
>>73295205
>>Im virgin and 24
nothing wrong with that and here are the reasons:
>don't fuck whores
>don't stick it into crazy
>95% of all women are crazy
not your fault at all
>>73294863
>tfw someone cuts it down and sends the "penis" to her mail box
>>73294863
>former boyfriend was a psychopath
Yeah, I bet it was the guy that had the problem.
>>73299331
One of the worst green stories i ever had the misfortune to read.
I want 2 minutes of my life back.
Also go back to plebbit fagg
>>73299331
How can mammals even complete?
Trees stay hard 24/7
Trees get more pussy than me feels bad
>>73294863
Some bitch got married to the Eiffel Tower
Some fuckers have sex wih their car
It's a weird world
>>73297751
that video is fucking hilarious
>sexual encounter with the church banister
>>73294863
How on earth has she avoided splinters
>>73300346
>2 minutes
Are you dyslexic?
>>73294863
I'd like to chop that tree down.
>>73294863
See this is why Hitler should have won, fuck everyone.
>>73294863
>her former boyfriend was a psychopath.
pot and the kettle...
>>73300876
read + type out response faggot
>>73301079
Don't chop the whole tree down, just that one branch.
Watch her despair.
>>73301281
Even IF you wasted 2 minutes of your life, you browse /pol/.
Your time is literally worthless anyways if you have nothing better to do than be here.
>>73294863
>white women would rather fuck a tree than white men.
priceless
>>73301297
get your gf to fuck herself with the tree in front of the tree loving cunt and watch her chopping down the tree shortly after
I want to cut it down make a bat out of its branches and beat her to death with it
White women shouldn't have rights
>>73294863
Someone should just chop the fucking tree down, end of story.
Imagine taking a peaceful walk in the woods and then you here a moaning noise so you decide to follow it what you see will change you forever a girl getting pounded by a tree this is now my fetish
![Jon-snow-sad-gif[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/X7zFiuK.gif "Jon-snow-sad-gif[1].gif")
>>73301386
This is exactly what I needed to read on a saturday night.
>>73294863
I will hollow out the tree cut of jarles dick replace it with my own ,painted brown , was it rape?
>37 posts
>no one has made a wood joke
>>73302115
it's a "stick"y situation...
>>73294863
Never stick your twig in crazy
>>73296407
lubrication and smoothing the surface, dipshit
it hurts when my bark peels off inside her vagina from the friction and moisture
>>73302115
Umh... Er... Well that makes me rock hard!
SHIT!!!
guys just yesterday a couple of twigs and leaves fell out of my gf’s underpants. i didn’t think anything of it until now. should I be worried? she said she always wanted to be an arborist but it never seemed like anything other than a healthy fascination with nature.
>>73295151
Is that whole blog a satire or is it really run by the Norwegian equivalent of chavs?
>>73302473
You're getting cucked by a tree. Your girlfriend was...
BARKED
>be norwegian
>get cucked by a fucking tree
How does it feel like to know that the average norwegian will look like this in 2050?
this whole fucking thread....
>>73294863
>because he is never unfaithful
Someone go fuck that tree and leave a pic of it on the tree for her to find.
Bonus points if someone drills a hole in it and fucks it so she knows the tree is a faggot.
>>73302595
HAHAHAHA
>>73295205
i lost mine at 20, had fun with that chick for maybe 2 years.
havent fucked anything in the last 5 / since
>>73298058
Treevaughn Martin
