Will australia win this war?
http://www.skynews.com.au/news/national/nsw/2016/05/01/government-declares--15m-war-on-carp.html
>>72937543
They should enlist the help of the emus.
>>72937543
Look at the size of that maw. Easily big enough to swallow a man whole.
>>72937641
i'll enlist the help of some mortein on ya you dirty fukken turk cunt
>>72937543
Probably smarter than muslims...
>>72937641
>implying the carp wont enlist the help of the Emus
FLEE FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES AS THE WARRIOR CARPS RIDE EMU'S IN BATTLE
And thus marked the beginning of the Great EmuCarp Wars
>>72937799
>>72937543
>bioweapons against carp
i was gonna say this can't end as badly as the emus, but with that kind of strategy i wouldn't be too surprised if the carps develop lungs and conquer australia.
>>72937901
>Carp used splash against Australian Army
>it was very effective
>Australian Army has fainted
>>72938109
at least we fought mate
>>72937543
They lost the toad war, they lost the rabbit war, why would they win the carp war?
>>72937543
Our biggest enemies in life is the wildlife we have to live in
>>72937543
Do Aussies even bothered trying to eat them?
>>72938295
The carp will eat up everything in your waters and toad kills everything on ground. You are already successful at killing your wildlife.
>>72938386
Carp has fuck all meat and has shitload of bone, very disgusting fish.
>>72938386
Pet carp thread?
this emu shit is reddit tier humour, it stopped being funny the first 100 times
>>72938386
I know that you guys do, why do you guys keep stealing them from fishing lakes you cheap fucks.
Don't do it Australia, they totally eclipse you in naval strength!
>>72938537
australian detected
>>72938386
They're just left on the banks to rot, It's gods work to kill as many as possible because they fuck up our rivers.
>>72938500
Carp tastes muddy, but it can be used if the chef knows what he's doing.
They're probably going to wipe them out with a modified carp Herpes virus
>>72938614
Shut up, okay?
It was one time, can we please move on.
>>72938109
Don't fall for the Australian propaganda.
>The federal government has declared a $15 million war on the imported fish described as one of the country's most devastating PESTS.
Can you read the first line, retards?
>>72938295
I know that feel
The wildlife in our case though are the Bolivians chucking spears at our army
>The money will be spent implementing the national carp control plan, which will include introducing a herpes virus into waterways
I'm not an expert about these subjects but this doesn't sound very good,or am i missing something.
>>72938691
>mfw all the aussies get herpes
i have a medal in bass fishing, can i come hunt them for you.
They call me crazy, but I just know the emus will attack Sydney while our armies are shooting up rivers with miniguns
>>72938743
>mfw the virus mutates and kills aboriginals
>>72938743
There's even a worse scenario, Australia mosquito mutates the herpes virus into next stage after feeding on dead fish.
>>72938176
Enjoying your holiday Oz? This is too good a shit post for Britain
>>72938405
true that
but how can we solve the Swooping Magpie problem which has blinded people, hospitalized people and killed people
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/boy-killed-trying-to-avoid-magpie-20100909-152sr.html
>>72937799
>HIS COUNTRY LOST A WAR AGAINST FUCKING BIRDS
>>72938910
>HIS COUNTRY LOST A WAR AGAINST IMPOVERISHED FARMERS
Nothing will go wrong, i promise you that
>>72938656
At least a lot of your native fish are thriving in captivity.
>>72938814
It always backfires in Australia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasive_species_in_Australia
>>72938979
oi m8 we were also in that shit
Michigan and the other great lakes region states are doing ok against carp so far
Will they lose this war again?
>>72938850
That made me laugh. Thanks, fellow anglo.
>>72938850
Is Australian internet that bad?
Why is Australia always declaring war on this or that animal?
>>72937543
Just crowd it out with Tilapia.
>>72938656
My local fishing hole smelled of death all summer last year because of the rotting carp carcasses littered about.
Fuck these fish
>>72937543
so carps are the niggers of fish?
>>72937543
Don't be fooled thats an Arial Shot from 100m above this monster. Proud to serve in the coming carp war
>>72938850
is that a virus?
my connection keeps freezing before i can scroll to the bottom
>>72937543
We are killing them with herpes
Fucking carp
http://www.heavy-r.com/video/179482/2_Guys_Fucking_A_Fish/
>>72937543
Australia will mostly lose the Great Carp War
>>72939050
>Aussies managed to turn camel into a pest
Maybe they should try pandas next time?
So now we know why they bought those submarines.
Hope I don't get drafted
>>72939801
at least we don't have ukrainians, that's a hard pest to get rid of
>>72939801
Australia exports camels to saudi arabia.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-12-01/camel-exports-future-australia/5931134
>>72939801
Nobody knows what goes on on the vast lands of inner Australia until it's too late.
Are they talking about Asian carp?
Because those fucking things are a huge pain to the ecosystem
They're considered an invasion species here and they're fucking up our rivers too
http://www.umesc.usgs.gov/invasive_species/asian_carp.html
We have groups of people that enjoy just shooting and killing these things and since they're classified as pests they're is no regulations on killing them, but it's still not enough
http://youtu.be/5GTRtRyx6I4
I for one won't mock the problems of another country when we're dealing with the same kind of shit here
Ctrl+F
"Dwarf Fortress"
0 results
Slightly disappointed desu.
>Carp is believed to make up 80 per cent of the fish biomass
>80 per cent
>>72939981
>that's a hard pest to get rid of
Teaching them polish language and supplying with a minor dose of WEWUZ syndrome usually does the trick.
>>72938295
>Our biggest enemies in life is the wildlife we have to live in
Why do they hate you so much?
>>72938719
Is there any animal in Straya that isn't a devastating pest? I don't think they can even trust the mutt in the back of their Utes. (who is only there for protection against the wildlife)
>>72938500
Just like suckers, you've gotta smoke them.
>>72940398
Maybe the whites.
>>72940398
koalas are neat
problem is a lot of koala land is being developed and they have herpes so their populations are dwindling
>>72937543
Australia hate non native species. Ever see their border control on tv?
> Do you have any soil about your person?
>>72940330
>implying you wouldn't hate them if you had to live next to them
>>72940249
USA has bigger problems, your bees are good as dead. Your honey will all be made in China.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lapU_u0kA0c
>>72940257
until they publicly carry a UPA flag and you fellas beat the shit out of them
>>72940711
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/07/23/call-off-the-bee-pocalypse-u-s-honeybee-colonies-hit-a-20-year-high/
>>72937543
If two digits aussies will lose again
>>72937543
Oh God, when games become reality.
http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/40d:Carp
>Aussie scouts the waters on a raft
>wearing a bandana, camo colored bodypaint
>sees a glister in the water
>oi, I got em'
>"target acquired, repeat, target acquired" he says over his military walkie talkie
>oi m8, we'w won't take a piss, ai!
>laser pointed iron sight directly on the fish
>one round, precise semi automatic shot
>the fish swims away
>the Aussie forgot about light breaking in the water
Yet another failed battle
carp, she be a mighty foe
>>72940896
They don't even know where beetle that eats bees came from. It came and it wiped out bees in 10 years. That honey in supermarkets is either fake honey or imported.
>>72939661
Nice meme Bruce!
>>72937543
>'They stir up all the mud. They drive other fish out. They can't seem to live in harmony with other fish stocks and our native fish have been no competition for the European carp,' Mr Pyne said.
Holy fuck, they're willing to admit the destruction a fucking fish can cause, but not a religion.
>>72939292
I hope so
>>72940220
FUCKING CHINKS GO HOME
>>72937543
Obligatory
>>72937543
>First Australian Carp War
>Carp Strength: 50,000
>Australian Strength: All of the Australian army
>Carp Casualties: N/A
>Australian Casualties: top grade military equipment, 5 killed 6,000+ wounded
>Results: Decisive Carp Victory
>>72938870
Magpies are bros for the eleven months a year that they're not swooping.
>>72939050
There are rainforests in Australia?
Thought the whole place was just an Australia shaped desert.
What about the moderate carps?
Why do all the carps have to pay for some isolated cases?
They just want to live life in that river.
>>72941426
They have rain forests, but on television they normally show lizards and kangaroos.
>>72941239
>Holy fuck, they're willing to admit the destruction a fucking fish can cause, but not a religion.
top lel
Remember this?
http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/mar/18/invasion-of-the-american-lobsters-sweden-asks-eu-for-help
>Sweden does not want the American crustacean to darken EU waters
A fucking foreign lobster causes a commotion in Sweden about "non-native species".
>>72938850
Holy shit anon, the funniest thing i've ever read.
>>72941657
>Oversexed, overfed and over here: that, in a nutshell, is what the Swedes think
Holy shit, this is so much funnier to read when you're replacing the lobster or fish with 'muslims' or 'immigrants'. Thanks for the hearty keks, finbro.
Was this the reason the Aussies just bought French submarines?
>>72938850
What a great day to not be Australian.
>>72942262
Not much to brag about here
>>72937543
Can't even kill oversized birds that can't fly how can they win against the mighty carp?
>>72938022
Begun, the Carp War has.
>Australia 5 minutes into the war
>>72942824
Aren't you afraid Emus will ever try to take NZ?
Or Kiwis and Sheep protect you?
>>72938212
To be fair something about Australia just makes things harder to kill off.
>>72943281
Emus can't swim, Kiwis aren't a pest
Sheep are sexy
>>72938386
>>72938503
Why do Eastern Europeans keep carps in their bathtubs?
>>72938731
Democracy, mainly. But seriously, it's OK. We made the herpes only hurt carp. It can't hurt people, or Australians.
>>72938540
Kurwaaaaaaa. That's why they're in the tub. Let them detox for a few days then the Slavic folk eat them.
>>72938870
>Magpies
>"problem"
>ISHYGDDT
Harden up, faget.
>>72939424
It's fuckin' hot, and we're not allowed to bash lebs any more.
>>72939441
People kill them think they're helping. They're not. One female can have thousands of fry, per season. Fish herpes is our last, best hope.
>>72943461
>Sheep are sexy
I will pretend I didn't read that Frodo, I don't want to believe in stereotypes.
>>72943546
keeps the fish fresh for a long time with little effort. They're not kept as pets.
>>72943666
Me either, Chimichanga
>>72943890
Fixed
>>72942008
If they knew where beetle came from they could determine what its natural enemy is. The beetle isn't going to go away on its own and besides just 1 beetle in hive means sour honey.
I personally buy honey from people i know and i had relatives who had bees. The honey in supermarket is at best half pure, since the award winning honey producer here called medex doesn't even has pure honey, they are mixing it up. Honey isn't always the same colour and texture either, depends where beers farm, so if different flours grow some year it can't be that honey is the same as last year. Supermarkets don't really give a shit where honey came from and even if it is real honey, all they care is selling it as real.
>>72938811
kek
>>72940330
I always imagine those round karp mouths making nigger sounds.
>>72937543
No. We will lose. Murray River is forever clouded by the rummagings of Asian Carp.
>>72937543
Will this be a Great Carp War?
>>72938212
dingoes too, never forget about the dingoes
>>72944434
We bred the dingoes with sheep dogs and got the sickest cunts ever.
>>72938386
>spread rumour in China
>carp is very tasty
>hordes of chinese flock to Aus
>carp gone in hours
>>72944434
>yfw dingos knot Aussie women and eat their young
>>72945085
>hordes of chinese flock to Aus
Implying this isn't already happening.
It must be fucking terrifying to live in Australia
>>72938870
Corvids are smart, so at least try to feed them or something
>>72941426
Where I live the rainforest and reef are >50 meters from each other, QLD is tropical
>>72943461
be afraid poo peeland
be very afraid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN2gMP3Q2Z4
>>72938731
Yea normally herpies isnt a great part of any plan. How about for every carp head an abbo gets a beer?
>>72940540
What is with yall and herpies. Also build fish spear for carp and have an awesome summer
>>72937543
I'm predicting around 200 casualties on the Aussie side, I really don't know about the carp they might have something up their fins.
>>72941426
This is a temperate rainforest national park about 3 hours West of the Coast in Southern Queensland that I used to go to for Holidays nearly every year growing up
http://pastebin.com/0NJNfRc3
Pastebin contains google street images that 4chan won't let me link (even with a url shortener for some fucking reason) because It think It's spam
They have nice holiday homes, most being ornate wood and/or Log Cabin in design. Can also camp there. It gets quite cold, not snowing, but freezing temperatures in winter. For this reason, I know how to chop wood very well - which came as quite a surprise to my friends who couldn't chop wood to save their lives when we went camping one year because we live in essentially Florida and the average low in Winter is 10C
>>72939292
Ill be able to give you an accurate reply when I dont have to sacrifice a small bird to the Internet God
>>72937543
Are you even serious? Those little shits never stop leveling up. I don't think any strayan even has a chance of taking one out.
>>72938109
>>72938708
>TFW almost served in that fucking Arty regiment.
So fucking glad I went armoured.
>>72944819
FOREVER
THE
SICKEST
CUNTS
Check out my Cattle Dog X Staffys.
>>72938850
>Have FTTP.
>Loads instantly.
>UPS backups on internet connection, Router, Server and main desktop.
>My bandwidth is eternal.
>>72945622
HAHAHAH
Magpies are just out for the fucking blood.
Every Australian kid has done battle with them, wearing armour of egg cartons and an ice cream tub helmet.
>>72939801
It's actually pretty neat.
My brothers and I go camel hunting every year or so.
ummm why not create an industry...the kids and trailer trash could e making sweet cash selling dried carp to animal food producers. Kinda like Canadian trapping and fur industry.
>>72941168
>Implying we wont bring the bitch back just to deal with these cunts.
>>72948966
Something like that would legitimately do good things for the Abo community
Koala genocide when? I'm sure that as the war against the carps and the emus goes on, they'll stab you Australians in the back. Mark my words, they are waiting for the right time to come, don't fucking trust them.
>>72949522
They are literally already dying out from chlamydia.
We wont need to even try to fight them, just stop preventing them from going extinct.
>>72949522
>>72937543
We've fished other species to near extinction. Why not just rally some retirees to be volunteer fishermen? Why resort to biochemical warfare using a horrific virus that surely won't jump the paper thin species barrier between this fish and other fish, thus ruining all life on earth, especially since the medium between them is water and fish reproduce by spraying seed into the ocean like a fungus releasing spores... Surely won't backfire.
>>72938500
Bullshit. I've eaten plenty that is supposedly not edible. Game meat, even squirrel, and it was damn tasty. Just figure out a way to cook it better.
Australia becomes Raccoon Island. Real life resindent evil.
>>72940711
>stop spraying pesticide (IE buy organic)
>support local beekeepers by buying their delicious honey
>even launch your own hive
>plant wildflowers in empty places
>???
I don't understand why this is so difficult.
>Be australian
>Horny
>All sexy fauna migrated to lush New Zealand
>Wont let fookin sheepfuckers get the best of me
>See carp
>Raise the Queens Mast and lay claim to the invader while singing Waltzing Matilda
>Feels good
>Plenty of fish
>Have another go
>Get Herpies
>mfw
>>72937543
you know it will not end well, I bet the virus mutates and spreads to all of the Australia population. it will be like the division Australia edition.
>>72947525
Kek
>>72938503
>>72951408
>mfw all of australia turns into super mutants
>>72938386
Aussies do not know that they ahve a good eating fish.
>>72943546
>catch carp
>Put it in tub of water
>stays fresh, after one week they lose the muddy flavor
>Cook it up, and it can be not bad. Married a polish woman.
