>be British
>wake up at 6 AM to say my morning prayers to Her Majesty, the Vicar of God
>eat a tasteless bowl of porridge for breakfast
>almost turn on the telly, but then I remember my telly license has expired
>last time I did that the telly police broke into my house and sodomized me over my $70 subscription
>leave to go to work at the Ministry of Islamic Relations
>it is a beautiful grey and rainy day like always
>my mum once told me she saw the sun once, but I never believed her, not even when she died from an ingrown tooth burying itself in her brain
>such is the chance you take with British genetics
>along the way to work I am accosted by a number of Islamic refugees who spit on me and mock my nation
>I will remember to try and be more tolerant in the future so that they don't do it again
>spend all day at work browsing facebook and twitter comments for dangerous thoughtcrime
>dispatch social justice squads to bring righteousness to those who dare to post racist comments
>at lunch I go out to a pub to get some tasteless fish and chips
>pray to the future sultan Charles and thank him for my meal
>before I can start eating, some belligerent chavs attacks me
>oy bruv m8 ooga booga
>I can't understand what they are saying so I prostrate myself before them and offer them my meal
>they kick me a bit and take my food and wallet
>I call in sick for the rest of the day and go home, assaulted once again by peaceful migrants
>when I get home, I boot up my computer, and hiding behind seven proxies, I access the ultra-illegal site 4chan.org/pol/
>my fingers are trembling, not even a nice cup of tea or a crumpet could calm me now
>I open up the 'post thread' box, and nervously type out
>be american
>get shot
You're not too far off yourself, Canada.
>>71144270
Nice try mapletits but the t.v licence is more like $200, heh got you..:(
>be canadian
lol
>be Canadian
>turn on American TV
>Be Canadian
>Literally have all those same problems but with a faggier president
CANNOT make this shit up
>>71145103
Trudeau is brilliant, he even knows a ton about quantum computing
>>71144270
>canadian shitposting
its as bad as maple syrup, it sucks dicks hard
>>71144270
Made me kek
>>71144270
>assaulted again by peaceful migrants
>>71144270
Top kek, fellow canuckle head.
My sap just stopped flowing, good to be back on /pol/ so that we may strew our shit posts such that the flowers may grow.
In Molyneux's name, amen.
>>71145810
Not an argument
>>71144862
Nah
>>71144862
>2016
>Watching TV
>>71145224
A FUCKING LEAF
>>71144270
>eat a tasteless bowl of porridge for breakfast
We eat full English breakfasts every day. Only old Scottish people eat tasteless portage
>last time I did that the telly police broke into my house and sodomized me over my $70 subscription
It's £145 which is about $11924 Canukbucks
>she died from an ingrown tooth burying itself in her brain
Also we have socialized dental care, so you dont get ingrown teeth, but you will likely get a 3rd world dentist and die from an infection.
Other than that it's pretty accurate.
>>71144270
>Be Canadian
>Wake up at 7:00 AM
>-35C outside
>Put on boots and heavy coat, go out dig way to car though 4' of snow start the car so it can warm up and defrost
>Go inside
>Eat 18 pancakes covered in maple syrup and butter
>Turn on TV and watch American programming
>Check internet for local news because no Canadian channels
>Trudeau announces 50000 new Muslims on the way, and leads the country in a prayer in Arabic
>Be tempted to post on /pol about it but remember the human rights tribunal will end the police to your door
>The "truth is no defense"
>Finish pancakes, put heavy coat and boots back on
>Dig way back to car
>Brush 4' of snow off car
>Drive to work on icy roads
>Get to work, discover you have been replaced by Ahmed and his 2 brothers from Syria
>That's life tho eh?
>Say sorry to them, and to the boss
>Say sorry to all your co-workers
>Stop by tim hortons on teh way home, buy a double double, add packets of sugar
>noticed all the timmies employees are now Syrian, other than a Filipino girl
>Spill coffee on jacket, it instantly freezes
>Scrape ice off car
>Drive home
>Shitpost on /pol for a few hours because posts with actual content are illegal
>>71144270
>be Canadian
>be American/Chinese/Indian/Syrian/Inuit
>>71150683
>Being this assmad
>>71149360
came here to post this
>>71150683
>35C
>snow
>>71151590
get glasses
-35C MINUS.
>Be American
>Flu season
>Go to doctor
>Get shot
>>71144270
>be canadian
>die alone
>be Canadian
>wake up at 9am
>it's still dark outside
>turn on CBC
>see that Trudeau has just told Pakistan that they will get a free citizenship and log cabin in all canadian citie
>wipe tear of happiness
>sotolerant.jpg
>push snow out of doorway (wood split up last night)
>feelsbadman.jpg
>head into French cafe for morning coffee
>French barrista doesn't even look me in the eye
>pretends to not hear my order
>ask him to listen to me
>he tells me he's on his break
>fucking asshole goddamn I hate french people so fucking much why can't they just intergrate into our CULTURE!!!
>Be Northern Irish
>Wake up at 4am bright and early to throw a petrol bomb at a newly moved-in foreigners house
>Go home and sleep
>Wake up at 8am for work
>Walk down the street to get to the bus stop, not a single muslim in sight
>Phyllis from down the road greats me and we have a chat
>Get off the bus to go to work
>Get to work, everyones white
>Work hard and get a good paycheck
>Leave work and see some polish boys speaking in funny language
>Throw a brick at them and tell them to fuck off back to their own country
>Encounter a muslim for the first time in 8 months
>Find out where he lives
>Go to sleep for the night
>Wake up especially early at 2am
>Go to muslims house, brick the windows and chuck a petrol bomb for good measure
Such is life in Northern Ireland
>>71144270
> ITT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AJyb4lMXkg
>>71155102
Sounds cozy
>>71155102
I like you.
>>71155102
based Northern Ireland
>Be Indian
>Poo in my toilet
>Get shot by the poo witch
AT LEAST WE WILL BE A SUPER POWER BY 2020
>>71144270
>quality banter
I am shocked and happy to witness it.
>>71158034
That's really old pasta, newfag
>>71158271
>pasta
>>71158271
It's OC you fucking retard
stop stealing my content
Can we have some more 1984 images?
>>71158750
Yeah, you changed a couple things, like the ending, but I was the one who originally wrote that
>>71158763
>>71159178
