Another cluster of young lives lost to the new threat of biscuits and nettles.
Will us English ever know peace from this new menace?
We've suffered from Battle Ponds, Combat Bouncy Castles and now this.
I'm so sick of this country - the violence and oppression has reached critical levels. If I could leave to a more peaceful country I would.
Have you considered high-visibility biscuits?
>>70871128
Just deflect them with a comically giant cup of tea.
Need to meet those quotas
>>70871249
I have but these things are in the same weapons-class as shurikens.
>>70871249
Personally, I prefer biscuit shurikens
>>70871520
GODDAMN YOU BEAT ME TO IT FUCKING BRIBING THAT WAS MY JOKE
I feel like I got to experience childhood just before the world went insane, like right on the cusp.
>>70871520
aww i want assult cookies 2 =(
>brushed with a stinging nettle
wew lads, call mi5
>>70871660
Great minds think alike, my friend.
Or was it simple minds rarely differ?
>>70871741
Oops, meant for >>70871550
>>70871660
How do we get rid of the nettle menace???
>>70871741
possibly both :D
>>70871550
Thats sick, imagine how the racists could use this to hurt the poor immigrants seeking refuge in our eternally peaceful country. History means nothing when we see dangerous psycho-weapons that are ultra-violent like this! How horrible indeed.
>>70871823
I see the inherent problem with biscuits. What about banning the nettles?
>>70871128
>man assaulted with fist's
>oven gloves now mandatory for hand owning citizens
>>70871836
Shortbread Glacé Cherries are a legacy of our murderous past. The pale cream of the shortbread represents the evil white man closing in on all sides whilst the red of the cherry represents all the ethnic blood spilt.
>>70871935
Time for complete defoliation of the British Isles. I'm sure you still have some agent orange you can use to ensure not even a single leaf will ever see the light of day. It is better this way.
STOP THE GRIEF - BIN THAT LEAF
>>70871128
will someone think of the children
>>70871128
>using British and English Interchangeably
Can tell you're a foreigner
>>70872360
>BIN THAT LEAF
Wait.... Should I be worried right now?
>>70872563
>implying you got your weed
Is double stuffed considered high capacity or is that reserved for cookiepies?
>>70872547
Nettles and biscuits are endemic assault weapons across the whole British Islands - yet it is us English who have to bear the brunt of this new onslaught.
>>70871520
Fuck you now I want some party rings
>>70872547
Only filthy Celts get butthurt by this
>>70872814
Cant fucking get em ere.
>>70871128
ON THE NEXT 60 MINUTES JOIN AS US WE GO UNDERCOVER TO DOCUMENT THE NEFARIOUS WEAPONS SMUGGLING SCHEME RUN BY ISIS IN EUROPE
>>70873036
Oh fug I forgod my bicchure :--DDD
>>70873036
I have enough biscuits here to kill everyone in the South East of England.
>>70872964
Do potato ring's not cut it?
9/11
*chuckles*
>>70872819
Shin thu a mioch toll na toine!
>>70873331
Fuck off Ahmed
>>70873285
>Tesco
Only if you feed them to people.
>>70873292
Sometimes you want something sweet.
>>70871128
>you countries founding fathers foresaw this type of shit and chose independence at the cost of being terrorist by future misguided youth
Feels good
>>70873646
>can't drink until 21
Stay cucked
>>70873537
For only one pound twenty-five I'd rather die than go without my weapons of mass digestion.
You can make them Eirebro - cheapest shortbread recipe you can find plus icing sugar and food-grade dye. Not the same to eat - but twice as deadly.
>>70873784
Careful with those bike wheels though they might get confiscated as weapons.
>>70873784
>wanting to drink at all
Seriously, why do people drink? Alcohol tastes fucking disgusting. I've had maybe one small glass of Gin in all my life and it was the most revolting thing I've ever tasted. I don't drink. Ever.
>>70871128
FUCKING.
ASSAULT.
BISCUITS.
>>70871128
I don't think I could even make this shit up
>>70874153
Gin is pretty divisive. There is good gin and bad gin and if you don't like strong herbal and 'botanical' flavours then I'd stay well clear of it.
t.gastrofag
Great assault biscuit, or greatest assault biscuit?
>>70874153
You're supposed to add mix. If I didn't drink I wouldn't even be considered Canadian.
>>70874448
Oat shrapnel and chocolate shards.
Pretty damn destructive if you ask me.
Some say not even a cup of tea can take the edge off these fuckers.
>>70874409
I like gin a lot. That and vodka (literal translation water-chan) that tastes like water.
>>70874455
Thank you for Canada Dry Ginger Ale - one of the best mixers to ever grace the world.
>>70874658
Definitely one of the greatest alcoholic drinks - drinking too much of it is akin to nightmare fuel. Feels like one has been purged via turpentine.
Could never get my head around vodka though however much I tried.
>>70875094
I get the super high priced vodka people, but that's not really my thing. I'd rather spend that kind of money on wine.
But if you want to give vodka another go, I could suggest Crown Russe brand (it says finest vodka made right on the bottle) because it just so happens to be the least expensive stuff around and yet tastes like basically nothing at all so you can do anything with it. Swilling it like its water is not a good idea, but it's about the most neutral spirit I've ever found.
>>70874093
Some sick bastard has combined the twin threats of bike wheels and biscuits into a sweet tasting super weapon.
My local MP has been quoted as saying "this is the exact thing we didn't want to happen"
>>70871128
you forgot the high velocity plastic cutlery
>>70874455
>mix
>doesn't drink single malt scotch
>>70871128
This is literally about quotas all over again. The police come up with some ridiculous shit. I mean biscuits? Really?
>>70875543
How can we be expected to respect the law if a predetermined percentage of us aren't punished every year.
In fact they should put the police on commission like traffic warden's
>>70875543
>picture doesn't show a source
>OP doesn't post a source
>you don't ask for a source
You're so fucking stupid I might have to take you out back and put you down with my semi-auto custard creams.
>>70871520
can you get them in a high-capacity container?
>>70875255
I shall have to give it a try one day if I spot it in a local supermarket.
And I see what you mean about spending the extra on wine, People say that you cannot tell the difference between cheap wine and expensive wine but there is something absolutely abhorrent about the bargain brands of swill that they put on the shelves - stuff that is only suitable for cooking with and even that is a stretch.
We're quite lucky here to be in close proximity to Poland - and they make some absolutely wicked Vodkas. Can pick up a bottle of Zubrowka Bison Grass for seventeen pounds here and that is probably my fondest and only memory of the good stuff.
>>70875543
> Doesn't remember the Jaffa-massacre of 09
>>70875888
http://news.sky.com/story/1506630/biscuits-and-nettles-the-new-assault-weapons
Sorry Bro.
They're called cookies, you limey niggers.
Pic related is a biscuit.
>>70875955
That looks like a short-range battle scone to me!
You're nicked sonny-Jim.
>>70875955
No, cookies and biscuits are two separate things here in the UK.
>>70872291
kek
>>70875955
>tfw southern style biscuits
God damn bongs don't know what they're missing.
>>70876083
Sound pretty good to me. Like a scone but less sweet and slightly salty - covered in a bacon infused creamy bechamel sauce.
Could eat.
>>70875955
Looks like a scone my good man.
>>70875951
>close proximity to Poland
What the fuck are you talking about
>>70875955
This
I'll never understand how bongcucks can get so much wrong with basic language. They pretend to speak american but mess up all the terms
>>70871439
I just visualized a Benny Hill skit in my head when I read this.
Captcha: select images with tea.
>>70875951
>you cannot tell the difference between cheap wine and expensive wine
Even if you don't know a damned thing about wine, you can tell the difference. Either that or you have advanced brain damage.
>>70875391
>SIZE MATTERS
>>70876018
Plebs. It's cream first then jam.
>>70871550
gaay
>>70874153
Spoken like a true fag. L2Taste.
>>70876480
Autist, just flip it upside down.
>>70876308
2 hours flight to Poland.
About 12 in boat travel.
Compare this to the US.
>>70876414
Please reread my post.
> People say that you cannot tell the difference between cheap wine and expensive wine
>>70876658
No, because then the bottom of the scone would be on top now wouldn't it.
>>70876761
>People say that you cannot tell the difference between cheap wine and expensive wine
Yes, that's what I was agreeing with, old chap. Cheerios.
>>70875951
lol Żubrówka is considered meh tier here, good for a cheap night in. Polacks know that the upper-shelf Russian and Finnish vodkas are by far superior
>>70876840
I've had too much cheap wine.
check out my extended magazine biscuit
>>70876784
build wall
>>70876784
>A horizontally symmetrical bit of food cannot be eaten upside down
I think you may actually be autistic mate.
>>70876944
Tweet tweet, that is haraam.
No cuttlefish bone for you.
>>70876761
The reason we have loads of Polish goods here, is because we have loads of Polish people here.
It's still half the Continent away.
>>70877009
You going to prison, bby.
>>70877009
Wow you cookie fetishists sicken me. Kids are killed EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. by those dangerous military assault cookies and you cookie nuts just pose with them like big bullies. Are you compensating or something?
>>70877229
I'm going nuclear
>>70875955
did you bake them twice?
cause if not, they aren't real biscuits.
>>70871128
But those are cookies.
>>70875888
You should probably off yourself with bourbons
>>70875748
That might make them appear more often when we need them
>>70875951
kek
>>70873537
party rings taste like sugar-flavoured cardboard anyway
>>70877210
im not baiting just sincerely curious: do you mind having loads of Polish people there? I've heard you got a good share of filthy subhuman bydlo among our immigrants so i wouldnt be surprised if you did. Would you say that the Żubrówka and sausage is worth having them?
>>70877401
Fuckin' 'ell. Get dubble O 7 down 'ere nahhh!!!
>>70877210
This is true.
I have a soft spot for Polish food goods.
They are relatively cheap and quite good.
>>70876414
>you can tell the difference
you really cant. wine prices are a sham.
![Biscuit[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/w1dvuZx.png "Biscuit[1].png")
>>70877009
>Biscuit
That's an Oreo cookie you fucking moron
>>70877742
>crunchy COOKIE
>each 2 BISCUIT serving
which one is it now?
>>70874448
Chocolate Hobnobs are literally the best biscuits ever.
Jammy Dodgers are up there too.
>>70877814
If you don't undercut the minimum wage, I don't care. If British doleites can't get a job and blame it on the Polish then that British doleite is obviously a poor candidate. All the Poles I've met have been respectful and hard working, 2nd best modern immigrants behind Gurkha's imho
>>70877401
STOP! WE ARE ALREADY DEAD FROM THE JAMMY DODGERS
>>70877401
I'm pretty sure even taking a picture of this is a war crime
have you guys seen thorn bushes
theyre like
weapon plants
they just GROW knives
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2107511/
thanks daily mail
>>70877919
>being this uncultured
>>70875391
"This is the one thing we didn't want to happen".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRRw1ERj2Gc
>>70877842
They're a sham just like art prices and car prices, but there really is a difference. I can't spell it, but they even hire people to help advise people on which wine would be best.
Just try a good wine sometime. This is not a conspiracy theory industry.
Is Britain even a real place?
All of this just seems too comical to belong in reality
>>70877373
Amen brother. Just look at this poor kid. His life was destroyed by cookies and biscuits, BAN THEM ALL NOW
>>70878399
theyve banned me custard
>>70877401
>calling the UN and NATO
>>70877814
I used to live in a shared house that was populated by primarily Polish.
Were genuinely some of the nicest people I have met - were fun to make jokes with, could enjoy drinks and meals with - quick to integrate whilst maintaining their own brand of uniqueness.
Also there is a grave of a Polish airman in my local church who died fighting against the Germans.
>Pilot Officer Waclaw Lapkowski, was born on 6 November 1913. Before the start of World War 2 he was serving in the Polish Air Force and at the outbreak he was with it's 112 Squadron. Wishing to support the British war effort against Germany he made his way to England and joined 303 Squadron based at Northolt.
On 5 September 1940 he was pilot of Hurricane P2985 and while in the in the sky over Gillingham, Kent, he was shot down by a Me109 (Messerschmitt). He bailed out and landed at Hawkwell, Essex. Suffering from a broken leg and burns he was taken to Rochford Hospital, Essex. His Hurricane crashed on Bonville's Farm, North Benfleet. After recovering from the injuries he went on to fly in more combats.
RIP
>>70878399
Of course we're real, frankly it isn't that much of a hassle to register your Rich Tea biscuits with the local fuzz.
>>70878113
>>70878405
Holy fuck is that the Michelin man?
>>70879041
Used to be a little white boy called Thomas till he was viciously attacked by a barrage of bourbon biscuits.
>>70878731
the stories of Polish pilots in RAF always bring tears to my eyes, my great grandfather was an army pilot in Lwów. He'd have probably joined up with the RAF if he didn't die there in 1939.
>>70878809
I tried to register my short cake last week, but my application was denied
>>70871520
Do you have a license for those?
>>70879335
I think most of the negative sentiment towards the polish has gone (most not all), the shitskins have deflected most of the heat towards themselves
>>70879335
It is a very sad thing to walk past this man's grave and realise that he threw his entire life away in the continued defence of his country and way of life - yet never got to return to it in slightly happier times.
>>70879555
I register my assault biscuits as cakes. They haven't closed that loophole yet.
>>70871128
lol fuking hell m8
>>70879621
i've heard the Scottish socialists hate us
feels like my people are doing something right
>>70871520
>>70871550
Top zozzle m8s
>>70879807
Ah yes, also taking into account the lower tax rate on cakes as opposed to biscuits.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaffa_Cakes#Categorisation_as_cake_or_biscuit_for_VAT
>>70873784
Can't drink at all without being beheaded by sharia police
>>70879959
Got to stay crafty mate, or else how will we defend ourselves?
>>70879891
Scot's love to play the victim, and the don't have as many shitskins to hate
"DEY TUK OR JERBS!" tier
>>70871128
STOP THE MISFITS, BIN THAT BISCUIT
>>70880170
Right you are.
>God save the Custard Cream
>>70871128
>R-Rule t-the seven seas!
