I've been investing since I was 18 years old. I'm a 56 year old man on a Wednesday morning. I work on Wall St, maybe you've heard of it? I have a portfolio that is 8 cubits long when you write it all out, and I've got so many zeros in my bank accounts (yes, that's plural) that I've lost track. Money is literally nothing to me. That's wealth, my friends.
Why am I not working, you ask? well kid, when you get this rich sometimes the work works for you. Get it? Probably not, but whatever.
Anyway here's the deal. Shit's going down. All the financials. All the non-profits. They're all going down and most are going to be bankrupt. It's time to listen to me. I've worked with the most advanced algorithms known to man. They were designed in a joint partnership between my firm and IBM. They run all day, everyday, on computers more powerful than those that can play chess. Trust me, this isn't child's play.
So, you're probably looking up at the screen with tears in your eyes, aren't you, kid? You probably want to know what you can do to prepare yourself. Well, listen up, kiddo. Buy Chinese gold and bury it. Buy rare earth metals and stuff them under your mattress. Invest in mobile apps and withdraw as much money from your banking accounts as you possibly can. In the New World cash will rule everything around you. You're gonna need envelopes. Buy water. A lot of water. Store it in drums and distill it. Food will not be a concern but water definitely will be, and you need to prepare accordingly.
So, why tell you all this? Why take a break from my busy day to share this knowledge with anonymous posters on an anonymous image board? Well, I just care. I lay awake thinking of each one of you and the pain that is about to befall you. If I can convince even one of you to prepare for the madness that is to come, I'll sleep easier. Don't do it for yourselves then, do it for me. Trust me. You don't want to get caught with your pants down on this one, kid.
HABBENING
t. /x/
>Putting this much effort into leafposting
>>70838568
Yea I'll get right on investing in those mobile apps, because when shit hits the fan, I can't wait to take a picture of my supplies and post it so everyone knows exactly what I have
You forgot the "buy my water filters" kikeleaf.
>>70838568
>Buy water. A lot of water. Store it in drums and distill it.
this means 3 things
1) water will be used to control the masses
2) a mass genocide will be performed with a water-borne plague
3) water will become extremely expensive as it is going to become the new gold standard
also
>mobile apps
fuckin leaf
>>70838568
>Anyway here's the deal. Shit's going down. All the financials. All the non-profits. They're all going down and most are going to be bankrupt. It's time to listen to me. I've worked with the most advanced algorithms known to man. They were designed in a joint partnership between my firm and IBM. They run all day, everyday, on computers more powerful than those that can play chess. Trust me, this isn't child's play.
and I've actually done work with the NASA's fuckhuge supercomputer at Moffet because my company rents space on it to do math as well. Anyone can do this op, it's 2016.
>Invest in mobile apps
fuck off, the web services industry is massively bloated and has been deflating since the start of the year. Everyone is getting out because there's no money in it
>>70839061
FINANCIAL VAMPIRE DETECTED
ALERT!!!
ALERT!!!
ALERT!!!
WE GOT A VAMPIRE IN THIS THREAD
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT leave your money just sitting their, waiting for vultures like this guy to suck their life force from your accounts. Close your accounts at once and INVEST. You NEED to INVEST and INVEST HEAVILY. Catalytic converters are going to be a massive market in the future. Tin and zinc are going to EXPLODE in value. Cotton is dead, invest in silk. Oil is depleted, solar is hopeless, garbage incinerator energy is literally the only viable source of energy moving forward. Seed companies, people. Seeds are the future and you need to realize that before they all get planted. Acquire as many seeds as you possibly can before vampires like this guy steal them all away.
>>70838568
>cubits
nice roleplaying, OP.
>>70839162
>close your accounts and spend your money goy
I realize you're trolling but I know people who believed this and lost everything on mobile apps
>>70839578
That's what we call a "stupid tax".
>>70838568
>invest in mobile apps
fuck off shill
>>70838568
That's funny OP because I've been investing since I was 18 years old. I'm a 56 year old man on a Wednesday morning. I work on Wall St, maybe you've heard of it? I have a portfolio that is 8 cubits long when you write it all out, and I've got so many zeros in my bank accounts (yes, that's plural) that I've lost track. Money is literally nothing to me. That's wealth, my friends.
Why am I not working, you ask? well kid, when you get this rich sometimes the work works for you. Get it? Probably not, but whatever.
Anyway here's the deal. Shit's going down. All the financials. All the non-profits. They're all going down and most are going to be bankrupt. It's time to listen to me. I've worked with the most advanced algorithms known to man. They were designed in a joint partnership between my firm and IBM. They run all day, everyday, on computers more powerful than those that can play chess. Trust me, this isn't child's play.
So, you're probably looking up at the screen with tears in your eyes, aren't you, kid? You probably want to know what you can do to prepare yourself. Well, listen up, kiddo. Buy Chinese gold and bury it. Buy rare earth metals and stuff them under your mattress. Invest in mobile apps and withdraw as much money from your banking accounts as you possibly can. In the New World cash will rule everything around you. You're gonna need envelopes. Buy water. A lot of water. Food will not be a concern but water definitely will be, and you need to prepare accordingly.
So, why tell you all this? Why take a break from my busy day to share this knowledge with anonymous posters on an anonymous image board? Well, I just care. I lay awake thinking of each one of you and the pain that is about to befall you. If I can convince even one of you to prepare for the madness that is to come, I'll sleep easier. Don't do it for yourselves then, do it for me. Trust me. You don't want to get caught with your pants down on this one, kid.
>>70838568
Interesting, because I've been investing since I was 18 years old. I'm a 56 year old man on a Wednesday morning. I work on Wall St, maybe you've heard of it? I have a portfolio that is 8 cubits long when you write it all out, and I've got so many zeros in my bank accounts (yes, that's plural) that I've lost track. Money is literally nothing to me. That's wealth, my friends.
Why am I not working, you ask? well kid, when you get this rich sometimes the work works for you. Get it? Probably not, but whatever.
Anyway here's the deal. Shit's going down. All the financials. All the non-profits. They're all going down and most are going to be bankrupt. It's time to listen to me. I've worked with the most advanced algorithms known to man. They were designed in a joint partnership between my firm and IBM. They run all day, everyday, on computers more powerful than those that can play chess. Trust me, this isn't child's play.
So, you're probably looking up at the screen with tears in your eyes, aren't you, kid? You probably want to know what you can do to prepare yourself. Well, listen up, kiddo. Buy Chinese gold and bury it. Buy rare earth metals and stuff them under your mattress. Invest in mobile apps and withdraw as much money from your banking accounts as you possibly can. In the New World cash will rule everything around you. You're gonna need envelopes. Buy water. A lot of water. Store it in drums and distill it. Food will not be a concern but water definitely will be, and you need to prepare accordingly.
So, why tell you all this? Why take a break from my busy day to share this knowledge with anonymous posters on an anonymous image board? Well, I just care. I lay awake thinking of each one of you and the pain that is about to befall you. If I can convince even one of you to prepare for the madness that is to come, I'll slep easier. Don't do it for yourselves then, do it for me. Trust me. You don't want to get caught with your pants down on this one, kid.
>>70838568
k, keep me posted
You sound like a drunken uncle telling stories how he travelled in africa and became a nigger king and ruled a tribe. As believable as that.
>>70840720
It makes me happy to know that Finland will be hit the hardest.
You guys well and truly deserve it.
>>70838568
Pretty good bait, I actually enjoyed this one.
You talk like some Jewish boomer, so your claim of being a 58 year old on wall street is almost plausible.
>>70838568
Ayy
>>70838568
I don't want pasta, just ate.
it's copyfied pastrami from reddit "wallstreetbets".
>>70840324
Am Israel Hai Brother
I think we've reached a point where a nation wide range-ban for Canada is a reasonable request.
>ITT the OP just watched The Big Short and wants to shitpost
>>70838568
New pasta?
