>Be American
>2017
>Hillary won in a landslide
>Go outside
>Neighbourhood full of chimps
>Sprint to car to get to work
>Can't sprint because morbidly obese
>Get shot at 3 times
>Can't fire back, only minorities are allowed guns
>Nimbly navigate the shots
>'Just another wednesday'
>Use keys to open door
>Remember cars are banned because muh environment
>Take bike instead
>Bike is nowhere to be found
>Briefly forgetting your neighbours
>Decide to walk instead because the public transport system is shit
>Make it 10 feet off your property
>Get stabbed and robbed (forgetting your neighbours, not even once)
>Get into ambulance
>'Sorry we have to take 33% longer to get to the hospital, gender laws'
>Almost at the hospital
>Nignog protestors hold up the ambulance
>Whiteys give us your money and shiiiieeeet
>Ask politely to drive forward
>Ambulance workers give me a horrified look
>'Sorry sir we have to respect them'
>Everyone on the ambulance pays their daily slavery reparations
>Get to hospital, get treated
>Leave
>'Just a minute sir, you forgot your bill'
>$1,000,000 plus an 33% for the cis-white-male tax
>Sigh to yourself
>'At least that's over with'
>Go home
>House has been looted, nignogs partying and destroying your property
>Still forgetting who your neighbours are, come on now
>'Ayo hol up whiteboi dis our shiiieett now'
>Get beaten up and left in the gutter
>Now homeless
>Decide to live under a bridge
>Can't live under a bridge because the Turkroaches and mudslimes King Nignog brought in need their natural habitat
>Decide it isn't worth living anymore
>No gun to kill yourself
>Decide to jump off skyscraper
>Whites have already been banned from entering buildings over one story to remind them how little they've contributed to society
>Out of nowhere a wild mudslime appears
>Flashing light
>Wake up
>'Glad to see your back with us, that'll be $10,234,243 plus your white-cis-male-tax of 33%'
>Die again
Murica bros, how do you cope?
>>70563832
>be German
>get culturally enriched
>>70563901
DELETE THIS
>>70563832
>just remove the cis-male stuff in the text and you have daily life in America
>>70563832
>be german
>lose two world wars
>gets raped daily
>>70563832
>Be German
>Be last generation of Germans
>RapeRapeRape
>>70563832
>be german
>1945
>all of your women are raped by slavs
>2015
>all of your women are raped by muslims
Rape never changes
>>70563832
>Be German
>Import millions of third world muslims
>Arrest and imprison anybody who speaks out against this
>[Rapes intensify]
>Germany has majority nonwhite population decades before America
>Becomes capital of caliphate europe.
>go to the US for vacations
>walking down the street
>see a huge line of average americans (obese guys) in front of a mcdonald's
>I ask one of them why there's such a long line
>"they adding somethin' gnew to the dolla' menu"
>suddendly a huge fat guy on a scooter comes out of mcdonald's
>he shouts "2 MOAR NUGGAS!! 2 MOAR NUGGAS"
>they added 2 more mcnuggets to the 1 dollar nuggets box
>everybody starts clapping and chanting "YOU ESS AY! YOU ESS AY!"
>I start hearing a loud noise
>a caravan of FBI and NSA cars arrive at the place
>they'll give free food stamps to people if they tell them what they did this week
>apparently they do this every week
>people line up to tell the FBI and NSA everything they did this week
>after telling them they get food stamps and they say "thank you for protecting us from terrorists!" while clapping
>one guys tells an FBI agent he watched a bluray movie yesterday at a friend's house
>neither him or his friend paid an extra watcher license
>the FBI agent pulls a gun and shoots the guy in the head
>everybody starts clapping and shouting "THEY KILLED A TERRORIZER!!! WE SAFE NOW!!"
>everybody starts clapping and chanting U S A again
>Be American
>2016
>Trump wins landslide
>Boots on the ground in IS territory Wilayat Al-Germania
>have to pick up the pieces and save germanys ass
>AGAIN
Yeah yeah Hans. Cry and pout because you as a nation are too incompetent to care for yourself, Uncle Sam will be there to clean you up soon enough.
>>70565776
this
>be German
>become autismo-level nationalists
>bongs and frogs trip you
>we kick you in the teeth (and rabid japs)
>next century
>become autismo-level turbocucks
>gonna have to bomb the mudslime out of you to save you
>meanwhile you're shitposting on a mongolian cartoon board
Do you know how exhausting you guys are?
>>70563832
No.
We all have our flaws.
Germany more than most.
>>70566190
>>we kick you in the teeth
Sure you do.
>>70566385
oh yeah, almost forgot
>russians throw the majority of their population, underequipped, to die and die and die until they eventually smother the eastern front with dead bodies.
good now?
>>70563832
Americans are based, fuck off Joachim.
