uk bro here
what do you fellow brits use to defend themselves in case of a mugging?
pic related, my piece
inb4v&
>>69133259
Here is mine.
Customised to be gluten free so I don't offend coeliacs.
>>69133382
nicee
i was thinking of upgrading to a wooden spoon actually
>>69133557
Try the Spork Variant Assault model.
Or get a wooden tactical spork.
>>69133259
Luger or remington, depending on what room I'm in.
>>69133259
STOP, CITIZEN!
>>69134000
not machete or ak?
>>69133891
>>69133557
>>69133382
>>69133348
>>69133259
Do you guys have a license for those?
>>69134061
Typical yank...
You ever been waylaid by someone wielding a WHOLE fucking pack of teaspoons????
And METAL ONES????
My uncle took a right brutal spooning back in '87 and he still can't sit down. Just making a cup of tea can send him into violent PTSD flashbacks.
>>69134231
licenses for automatic weapons are hard to come by and generally not worth the hassle if you're only looking for domestic security.
I'm a Labour MP and never leave my 2 million pound house that you're all paying for without an armed police officer in case someone says something racist or homophobic on my Twitter account.
Stay mad plebs.
>>69134330
Do you think I'm some kind of fucking criminal? I always have the relevant licenses for my cutlery.
This one covers up to metal spoons and wooden forks but not metal ones.
>>69134658
i fucking hate labour
Stick with the prod, JC. A nonlethal takedown is the best option.
You brits can have tazers at least, right?
>>69134658
>>69134898
pretty sure that we can't
same with pepper spray
>>69134431
I'm sorry, Britbro. I don't mean to bring up unpleasant memories. I was just trying to keep OP from wielding dangerous weapons he most likely have no experience with.
I have a kukri, a shotgun and a rifle.Not air or bb.
![images[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/xNvuWlz.jpg "images[2].jpg")
>Not having an assault umbrella
Good luck getting caught in the rain with a piece of wood, spoonfags. Get on my level.
>>69134898
Nope. We're only allowed the following
> Bright lights
> Rape alarms
Rape alarms generally alert all the other rapists in the area that there is a rape is going on so if you use one you're gonna get gang raped.
>>69134984
nerf right
>>69134842
Why? All we want to do is enrich the hideously white communities of England with millions of vibrant and diverse people from Africa and Asia and force you to pay to feed, clothe and educate them.
Just because we never put it in our manifesto doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.
>>69135141
No real. all of them are real working ones.
I go down the rifle range so it is all justified. or as collection.
>>69135226
license??????
or ill have to report you
>>69134977
>one forest was arrested in Britain today for arboring weapons of mass destruction
>>69135105
>you're gonna get gang raped.
Literally keked...
Wasn't that in UK where they stated a whistle being the best defence item as to alarm the surroundings is the only harmess and civilised defense? I really can't recall the source nor the country.
>mfw I can carry a shotgun around town legally
>>69135226
i hate it
i hated ed and his stupid face
i hate corbyn and his fucking shell suits
>>69135226
How intolerant of me.
Should I report to the local mosque for re-education after I've taken my dinner down to the police station to get cut up for me?
My application for a plastic knife got turned down when they went through my internet history and found that I had been looking at the UKIP website.
>>69135376
damn...
could arm a platoon with those
nobody gets mugged where I live.
some guy ran off with an old lady's handbag nearly a decade ago and it still gets mentioned in the local newspaper and used to highlight the decline of modern society
The closest place where I could potentially get randomly mugged is 200 miles away.
>>69135376
DELETE THIS
We've almost removed the last of our woodlands so that a child may never have to suffer a fatal twig wound ever again.
>>69135697
On a scale from Blair to Enoch how ethnically enriched is your area?
>>69135408
post it
>>69135352
We in the Labour Party are above you insignificant termites.
>>69135419
Reported to the police for making an offensive message via the internet you hateful person.
>>69135523
Yes but kindly wait until I can arrive to get a photo with the wonderful people of colour and the benighted intolerant racist who ought to be given a life sentence for the abhorrent crime of being a white person on a monday evening.
>>69135939
we have a small mosque and a significant number of eastern european immigrants
>>69135939
like maybe 4 people that are brown in our area. they all are nice and work at a indian.
I always carry my assault underwear with me
>>69136403
he wasn't asking you, spastic
>>69135939
Blair
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62YAt_D-2ns
SEND HELP SEND HELP SEND HELP
Bring the cheeky cunts on
>>69136370
Where is this fabled, no-crime-in-a-decade diverse utopia you describe?
>>69133259
>>69136688
There's a decent ammount of crime, you just won't get mugged.
east of scotland.
I'd have to travel to glasgow to get mugged
>>69136990
>scotland
>>69137096
I voted no
>>69136990
If I ever go to Scotland I just drink a bottle of this and I can take on any Scot the estates the throw at me.
>>69134963
>>69135105
Wew lad. Paul Denton would be proud. But Manderley might be a little pissed you didnt kill Lebedev.
>>69137242
good lad
>>69136652
is that your mums anal dildo
>>69135916
pretty much 100% of england was a forrested area but nooo we needed to build boats like a bunch of fucking syrian refugees.
>>69137694
we had the best boats
A lighter clenched in my fist, a rounders bat next to my bed.
I know amerifats take the piss but these and knives take more courage then guns, think of that Indiana Jones scene.
Psst.
Check out my cache lads. Got the lot.
>>69138052
shit he's packing
>>69138052
> Military Grade can opener
Fuck man, the muṭawwi are already on their way to your front door.
>>69138052
Watch out mate, don't go showing that shit to everyone. You know they watch this board and you don't want to get arrested.
>>69138356
the sharia patrol won't take kindly to his hostility
>>69138510
>>69138356
>>69138200
>>69138156
>>69138052
Already reported all of you cunts to the Sharia police.
Taqqiya is a bitch, infidels.
I even reported myself. Shit
Oh well lads, it was a nice run while it lasted..
>>69138052
>potato peeler
You've got a death wish you absolute cunt
This is my everyday carry.
>>69139319
surely artillery is illegal in the US right??
>>69135075
did you watch too much kingsman
>>69133259
I carry a rape whistle
It's the only thing that's legal
>>69133382
Positively savage m8
Got a sign that says "Please don't hurt me too much if that's alright with you unless it's a part of your culture I suppose."
>be me
>walking home after going out for a few drinks
>little bit tipsy
>few minutes from home and turn a corner to a relatively dodgy road
>2 guys in hoodies jump out and 1 of them is holding something metal
>they tell me to stay quiet and give them my phone + wallet
>lightly chuckly and say "no thanks" whilst holding my hand out as if they're offering me a flyer for their band
>they watch me walk off
sometimes autism pays
>>69135376
>arboring
>tfw I don't have to bin that knife cos dark skin
>>69133259
Watch out m8 you need a license for cutlery as they could be classified as weapons. Looks like you need to renew your spoon licence so you don't trigger any of our peaceful refugee friends.
Luckily my chances of being mugged are low because I never go outside.
>>69134000
Not bomb vest??
>>69133259
Baseball bat and a set of golf clubs, all of which are by the door.
>>69133259
You britfags should form prison shanks out of bible pages soaked in pigs blood.
![0387[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/sQvXxdy.jpg "0387[1].jpg")
yo don't tell yeah
>>69139319
oh god
>>69139319
not funny, this is serious business
i lost my mother to a bike wheel
>>69145496
Do you have a license for this?
>>69134701
I have garlic breath..
![31guIGgAFKL[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ItXn3Mm.jpg "31guIGgAFKL[1].jpg")
>>69145711
and when I'm feeling really crazy, the description said that it was perfect for cutting through bone and slicing homemade bread.
>>69133259
Jesus Christ this is just sad
Do you guys have tactical bacon? When I was in Iraq that was more likely to repel muslims than my rifle
>>69146227
HOLY FUCKING SHIT ANON DELETE THIS
pic related. my weapon of choice
Thinking of making an upgrade soon. Any recommendations?
>>69139069
Nice shoop
>>69133891
That looks dangerous as fuck.
>>69135408
Feels good brother
>>69148850
>shoop
>>69149626
ree
Honestly being in Britain is what it must feels like to be in an American prison weapons wise anyway.
Have to made do with what we have and make some pretty creative weapons.
Also you can carry a pocket knife as long as it's less than 3 inches in length.
UK law for knives:
The knife must have a folding blade that is fully enclosed when folded closed.
The blade length must be less than 3" long (7.62mm)
The knife must be non locking
For pocket knives anyway
>>69148166
Making potential mugger in to a pyree is kinda badass. No gun would even compare in results. Carry on.
>>69149864
Easily the best weapon of choice.
>>69148166
>attach a hammer to it
>>69133259
If you're /fit/ try one of these.
>>69144876
Violently assaults piece of bread.
Doesn't even have the common sense to wipe the viscera off the blade before posting.
What kind of fucked up pagentry is that?
>>69139319
thank god, we banned these in Yurop
>litteraly a salt weapon
>>69150476
no way. op. Get into woodworking. and then you can have stuff like this. If you live in an icy region, get a thick-ish piece of wood to put beside it and say its for knocking ice off your eaves.
"h-how dare people live in a safe, civilised nation with no need of guns to leverage against regular mass shootings"
>>69152197
when you get home invaded and stabbed, when you're bleeding out on the ground listening to your wife and your son getting raped by abdul and jeet as they yell allah ackbar?
Will your last thought be "not all muslims are like this, they're not really muslims. I hope the people will understand not all muslims are like this!" or will it be "I wish I could have done something god damnit. They're suffering because I failed them."
Or are you not going to have kids so you can destroy your nation with little consequence?
The real problem here is individuals without family should not be given responsibility of a nation.
>>69152197
>safe
>>69135376
>that joke
>forever green
>>69152197
>safe
I've been mugged at gunpoint twice, came very close to being stabbed once and am threatened on my way home at least once weekly.
Now, I know it's my own fault for being white and living in central London, but someone's gotta work to pay for Ahmed's 4 bedroom house.
I'm seriously considering starting the citizenship process for the US. But apparently, you fags would rather Paco and his family of 13 over a decent, hard working white fellow like me.
>>69141677
http://unbreakableumbrella.com/
>>69133259
Don't be a goon, drop that spoon!
>>69133891
Be afraid of the torque, ditch the spork!
>>69135075
Be a good fella, leave that umbrella!
>>69136770
Believe our word, don't carry that sword!
>>69139319
It's not just spiel, just lose that wheel!
>>69148166
Why would you bash her? You don't need that masher!
>>69157534
7/10 for effort. "Word" and "sword" don't rhyme.
>>69157919
>He doesn't pronounce "Sword" as "Swerrrd"
Holy shit America it's The Year Of Our Lord.
>>69157919
he's german
what you expect
>>69133259
I have a small stick that I carry.
It's still a stick - has it's bark on, etc.
And I didn't want to sharpen it in case I got caught with it!
But the way I broke it meant that there is a small sticky-out bit that could be used to scratch someone.
Also, I don't pay my toilet license. I refuse to pay to take a shit in my own house.
Paranoid everytime I take a dump, buy hey ho, pip and dandy!
>>69158092
Year of our lerrd
>>69154110
>when you get home invaded and stabbed, when you're bleeding out on the ground listening to your wife and your son getting raped by abdul and jeet as they yell allah ackbar?
this doesn't happen though, because we live in a safe place.
>be 12/13
>adult comes up to me and asks 'what you got for me'
>lie and say all I have is a pack of jaffa cakes and £1
>he actually took the £1 and not the jaffa cakes.
I was okay with the outcome, they were tasty.
His friend was waiting near by, I hope he roasted him for accepting a pound coin.
