>Be Jeb Bush
>wake up in the morning
>feel depressed and empty
>sit up and open nightstand drawer
>pull out loaded .22 handgun and stick the barrel in my mouth
>suddenly remember today is Sunday Funday
>smile rushes to my face
>put gun back in drawer
>not today
>run downstairs
>Columba is standing in kitchen
>“Buenos dias, Jeb. Today will be an extra special Sunday Funday because I invited one of your friends to join us!”
>she points to the kitchen table
>Donald Trump is sitting at the table pouring cereal into my favorite guacabowle
>“Good morning, Jeb. I like your pajamas” says Trump
>realize I’m still wearing my one-piece footie pajamas with turtle patterns
>"h-h-hi Donald"
>embarrassed
>“Hey, Jeb, could you please bring me the milk?” asks Trump
>take milk out of refrigerator and walk towards table
>trip on my toy turtle that I left on the floor last night
>fall down and spill milk all over the floor
>lying in a puddle of milk
>Columba screams “ay dios mio, Jeb! I told you to put your turtles away after you’re done playing with them”
>she takes off one of her shoes and begins spanking me with it
>curl into fetal position
>start crying
>Columba tells me to go upstairs for 15-minute timeout
>run upstairs
>get my gun
>aim it at my head
>pull trigger
>wake up in hospital 3 days later
>Donald Trump sitting at foot of my bed
>ask him what happened
>he tells me the bullet didn’t kill me
>“how could I survive a headshot point blank?” I asked
>Donald Trump smiles and says:
>“the bullet you used was low energy”
>mfw
Oh fuck my sides
>>61051840
nice
>realize I’m still wearing my one-piece footie pajamas with turtle patterns
Lost my shit right there.
>>61051840
Kek, he's so incompetent he can't even kill himself.
>>61051840
bretty good
>>61051840
>>61051840
>no mention of tendies
>>61051840
As bad as things get for you, always remember...
You are not Jeb Bush.
>>61052552
next time
>>61051840
>sunday funday
>>61053059
Still, fucking glorious, OP
>yeb
>>61051840
I'm so glad Bush hasn't dropped out. I want this to go one forever. If only Trump and Bush could be in the general election.
On mobile someone pls screencap
Does someone have the one where Jeb tries to murder Trump but then kills himself instead
>>61051840
>>61053562
This. Plz, lads
Does anyone have the link to Hurt?
>>61051840
>>Columba screams “ay dios mio, Jeb! I told you to put your turtles away after you’re done playing with them”
>>she takes off one of her shoes and begins spanking me with it
Not even Yeb can escape la chancla
Please stop guys, I feel really sorry for the guy
>>61051840
Capped.
LAWL
>>61054781
You're a hero, anon.
>Be me have hangover
>Decide to stop at a bar early for a caesar
>Bar is empty except for one guy in a hoodie huched over sadly over a bowl of gauc.
>order my cure see the tv showing the latest republican polls
>feeling sorry for the sad hoodie guy try to start a conversation.
>say hey guy Trump is at 43% can't stump the Trump eh?
>Hoodie guy says softly "he's a bully" Sobs "and your a bully too/
>he starts crying snatches his bowl and runs to the bathroom.
>I am feeling pretty bad so I go to apologize see if he needs any help.
>hear him in the bathroom repeating " slow and steady" over and over.
>Concerned I walk in.and see him by the sink.
<he is pulling baby turtles out of his pockets and crushing thim in the guac bowl one by one with his bare hands.
>I am frozen in shock and fear as he turns his Thumb bleeding heavy.
>He laughs and asks want to try my famous Guac?
>>61051840
Damn
10/10
What do you think Sunday Fundays are like with his Goblin wife?
Do you think she lets Jeb invade her Booty Bay on Sunday Funday?
Wanna no something funny? I'm actually a private escorts of jebs, and what I've seen this man do would make grown men cry, AMA.
>>61053553
. . . This is possible. If Jeb wins the primary, then Trump could make his own MAGA party. wait whaaaa
>>61057672
is he cucked?
>>61051840
>>61051840
>>61051840
>>61051840
>>61051840
ARCHIVE
>>61051840
God speed anon
>>61053351
what a yapper
>>61056166
chuckled 4 times. good read
