I've been thinking of what career path I want to go on, and after reading about the action that a lot of federal agencies get, i want to take part in it, except as on the government's side. I've been thinking of joining ATF, FBI, or become a US Marshal. Also post what agency you'd join and why you'd join it or why you wouldn't join an agency/bureau.
>>57530433
Heil Hitler, welcome to the force. First thing you are going to need son is a Proxy.
>>57530433
In a bureau already, doesn't have a name we work with biological and chemical weapons in my department, there are a few other branches in my building as well, I helped create the first strain of "ebola" AMA
Unless you are a veteran with at least a bachelor's degree don't bother. That's pretty much the minimum to get looked at. I've been in the process for years.
Whatever you're good at, I suppose.
I'm out in the sprawling vastness of contractorland where I've never even bothered with getting a clearance, which has kind of been nice in the long run even though I initially thought maybe I'd like to get a little more in.
>>57530433
FBI was my dream as a kid, but then you realize you are a beaner and that there is not such thing called the X Files.
>>57530433
ATF could be cool. You might get to finger fuck the neat ass guns they confiscate?
>>57530672
How long until it's ogre?
>>57531582
As far as I know there are no plans to kill everyone right now, I mean, there are plans to kill everyone, just we aren't going to do them anytime soon
I know you won't believe me but I'll post my story anyway
>work in a genetics lab at Uni
>rise through the ranks and get given permission to run my own lab
>keep all my shit on paper files or in my head, have already had other professors steal my ideas and make millions
>begin to do research on Follistatin 288
>pic related, discover its basically the Captain America serum
>Try to be a good goy and get cleared for human testing
>FDA shuts down my lab calling my experiments "unethical"
>Men in suits show up to confiscate my equipment and data
>burn my files and walk out the back
>escape unnoticed telling them I was just a student
temp
>without my lab and materials I start making drugs to pay the bills, doing what few experiments I can
>one day theres a knock on my door, which is unusual considering I live about an hour away from anyone else
>open the door with my shotgun out of sight pointing through the door
>no ones there
>immediately slam the door shut and run to my pseudo-lab
>hear windows being broken on upper floors
>turn corner and see men in black suits with their guns drawn
>bag goes over my head
>when they take it off I'm in an interrogation room
>say they have a job for me
and here I am, as far as FBI/ATF goes you just have to apply
>>57532236
Right now I'm imagining some fat neck beard sitting in his mom's basement errrr "command center" typing furiously into his keyboard while listening to K-pop while cuddling his waifu pillow.
You're trying to impress people you've never met and never will. Why?
>>57532786
he asked a question and I answered him
if you don't want to believe me you don't have to sometimes I don't believe it myself
>>57533029
>sometimes I don't believe myself
HOLY SHIT I'M DYING.
You're sperg level is off the charts
The main problem with federal level sort of jobs is you have to be the best of the best or bring something unique to the table. So like if you spoke Arabic and had a degree in criminal justice or something else along those lines.
I mean if you don't have a degree of some nature you're not getting into federal law enforcement, that's damn near base line level. Even something like copy right enforcement agent for the state of California (something I took a shot at) required a criminal justice degree.
the main problem with most state and federal level jobs now is the bonus military credits. So lets say you're a top 20 level person on the test. Well that's still not the top 10 they are going to look at. Oh wait you have a few average level vets in the mix and they get +10 bonus or whatever it is in the rank. Well now you are out of the top 20 even.
less of an issue back in in say early 90s, bigger issue now due to so many vets and a lot less private sector jobs on the level of state/fed sort of jobs.
bottom line, your best bet to get into law enforcement is local PD of some nature being you don't even need a degree for that. The two guys I want to highschool school with who went on to be cops, both dumb as fucking bricks. One was the school fat kid the other was the runt everyone sort of picked on (of course they both went into law enforcement).
>>57533341
>>57532786
thank you based anon
>>57532786
http://jcb.rupress.org/content/197/7/997.full
Possibly not bullshit.
>>57534647
>http://jcb.rupress.org/content/197/7/997.full
I'm drunk. You don't actually expect me to read all this shit, do you Mohammad? Can I get the TLDR?
>>57534953
tl;dr
Follistatin 288aa shown to markedly increase muscle mass in mice.
i.e possible "Captain America serum".
Why? So you can kill people like Randy Weaver?
>>57535083
Neato
>>57530433
NSA.
>>57530433
If the day comes that I meet the requirements (possible, since I'm not an idiot), I certainly wouldn't mind joining a federal agency. Several years ago, I was thinking of joining the FBI because, and I know this is perhaps an unpopular opinion, but I felt motivated to participate in the 'war on drugs'. Several of my relatives have fucked themselves up on drugs, so I've seen how drugs fuck people up and destroys their lives. I felt like I wanted to somehow avenge my family and my childhood, I guess. Then, I felt like I had hit a dead end, like I'm not allowed to grow up, because yet another thing was going very badly wrong. I don't think I would qualify to function in any job right now, because of some psychological problems I tried to get treated, but, the person who was supposed to be doing that was a goofball who didn't do her job. There's no reason I wouldn't join a federal agency, but.. (none of my relatives really approve of the idea, I might still eventually be able to get around this somehow, if I play my cards right, and in fact it is looking to me like to join the alphabet soups is probably actually my best bet if I want to grow up and get a job someday)
(and, rolling for the quads..)
>>57535571
Aw, no quads for me, too bad. (maybe I'll get the 666 trips if I roll again, though)
>tfw a set of dice would seriously be more intellectually stimulating than any conversation I ever have on stupid stupid /pol/
>>57535571
>>57535673
I see my problem is that /pol/ is a fast-moving board and I keep sending too late.
>are the dubs/trips/quads/etc random? NO.
>the post number is a count of how many posts have been posted on the board
Hardmode: I can't know right now what the post numbers are
lolz rolling anyways, might send too soon now
>>57535816
lolol 8 & 8+8=16
(knowing this materrace here, I guess)
>>57535571
>>57535571
>>57535673
>>57535816
>I don't think I would qualify to function in any job right now, because of some psychological problems
Unfortunately, if you've ever been treated for any major psychological disorders you're unlikely to pass the rigorous medical and psychological examinations they put you through and thus you would be ineligible for a security clearance. Without a security clearance you can't be a federal agent.
>>57535201
So pretty much a /pol/ approved way to just basically, YOLO!!
But you guys are so uptight in trying to act like you are mentally liberated and instead call it "nihilism".
God damn you dudes on here are fags.
>>57536300
Most people here are not nihilists m8, and what that picture is trying to show *is* YOLO.
>>57530433
I would love to do it, but they're gonna have to come to me. I'm not gonna apply to be a trainee. If any agency could use a man of my skills, they should contact me though. I've wanted to be scouted and picked up by an agency, erased from civilian records, and placed in a role of complete secrecy since I was 10. The movie Kingsman was a wet dream in that sense for me.
Phone lines are open boys. Best move you'll ever make.
>>57536880
That's like the opposite of how you get the proverbial tap on the shoulder.
>shit pay
>subject to ridiculous whims from federal government
On the other hand,
>access to top secret memes
>potential to BTFO the bad guys
>>57530433
>using loli sexy girls as ad to become a soldier
what else could go wrong senpai?
>>57536880
The only people who get "recruited" into these agencies and the super secret roles you're interested in are military operators who work hand in hand with the agencies doing clandestine work overseas. So you're best bet is to join the Special Forces or the SEALS, get recruited into DEVGRU or Delta, and then make a name for your self in the SOF community.
>>57536114
What I have is definitely a bad case of PTSD, though there have been a lot of people who have been very determined to try to tell themselves and others and/or me that it's something else, and it's always been really difficult for some reason or other to talk to anyone about what exactly traumatized me so badly, so it's been misdiagnosed as other disorders so many times it's not even funny, and I've been having an extremely difficult time getting it treated.
I know my prognosis is terrible, but, does everyone with a history of mental illness automatically get rejected, or, if I ever manage to get well enough to pass the psychological exam for a security clearance, would it be possible..?
>>57537238
>shit pay
With LEAP and cost of living adjustments you can make pretty good money. And if you make it a career you'll make 6 figures easily.
I went through the farm. Then a politician sold a list with everyone's name that worked for the company and I had to go into hiding. Nothing happened. Wasnt in long enough to do anything.
In short, dont bother. Youll get sold out when a politician finds it convenient. Fbi,nsa,cia,atf,dhs. Youll all get cut off early and miss those retirement goals.
>>57530433
Yeah man! Go work for the government, sell out your soul to push the liberal agenda, get paid in shekels, and be hated by all.
Sounds like a good job for you, considering you sound like you don't have a brain.
>>57535888
>tfw not-mathematically-challenged masterrace but hurrdurr possessed by typo demons
lol (more importantly, tfw peter pan here, though not for a lack of wanting to grow up, is is pretty depressing, actually)
>>57530681
Jeez wonder why....posting on 4chan
Judge of character and psych fail
>>57532236
Bullshit.
Geneticist isnt Chemist.
Genetics is baby chemistry for dummies.
If I know someone closely with a high level of security clearance, will it help me get a job or nah?
>>57537480
Sure, it's possible, but unlikely. The main mitigating factors when determining whether to grant someone a security clearance are the severity of the issue, the amount of time that has passed since the issue was last present, and the likelihood that the issue will return. So if you have severe anxiety and depression as a result of your PTSD, get treated for it and remain issue free for at least 5 years (although depending on the severity 10 is probably more likely), and get a letter from medical professionals saying you're completely fine, then you're chances improve. But the feds can't risk having a special agent running around with a weapon who is mentally unstable.
>>57537561
Depends on the town entirely.
Small town cops get paid the same as most other county employees. I hail from a long line of LEOs so I know the score. My uncle was head cop of all the beat cops in Minneapolis for a long time and my grandfather was a lifer and eventually hgiher-up in CPB after he got out of the army after WWII.
Both strongly disliked the FBI and the ATF for some reason. However there are what, thirty some odd uniformed sworn types of federal LEOs? I'm sure there are many opportunities. I know a couple guys who are fish and wildlife types, they love their jobs. One works undercover and basically gets paid to fish 70% of the time and be a ninja the other 30% of the time.
Retirement pay for federal LEOs cannot be beaten easily in the public sector which is a nice.
>>57537020
I don't expect to actually get picked up over 4chan senpai
>>57537450
Solid advice is appreciated. I've always considered that route, honestly don't know why I haven't just done it yet.
>>57537779
Definitely not. There are strict guidelines that agencies follow for hiring. The former director of the U.S. Marshall Service was fired for giving jobs to her friends a couple years ago. Your best bet would be to know someone in HR because they handle all of the applications, but you'd still have to be extremely competitive in order to even be considered.
>>57537946
>Sure, it's possible, but unlikely. The main mitigating factors when determining whether to grant someone a security clearance are the severity of the issue, the amount of time that has passed since the issue was last present, and the likelihood that the issue will return. So if you have severe anxiety and depression as a result of your PTSD, get treated for it and remain issue free for at least 5 years (although depending on the severity 10 is probably more likely), and get a letter from medical professionals saying you're completely fine, then you're chances improve.
Thanks for telling me this, I'll keep this in mind.
>But the feds can't risk having a special agent running around with a weapon who is mentally unstable.
Makes perfect sense.
>>57531039
Good cunt
>>57530433
>Joining the federal police forces
Join one of the intelligence bureaus and have some actual fun.
>>57530433
OK
I've seen enough of these threads
Maybe the mossad/cia - FBI are recruiting
sign me up
>>57530433
unless youre a bootlicking liberal who doesnt like thinking for himself, i wouldnt bother OP. youll just get frustrated with the level of ineptness and retardedness. maybe wait a couple of years to see if new conservative leadership comes into place
>>57537764
I use genetics to make bacteria do the organic chemistry for me
>>57532236
lmao you lost when you said FDA shuts down your lab. hate to break it to you but FDA only regulates commercial activities, keep making fun stories though
>>57538099
>Depends on the town entirely.
Very true. There are local cops in some New Jersey counties who make near 6 figures starting out and easily surpass 6 figures after a couple of years.
>Both strongly disliked the FBI and the ATF for some reason
The FBI takes their roll as top cop very seriously. They will take over a crime scene and the accolades that come with solving said crime without hesitation when it's something that falls under their jurisdiction. I assume it would be the same with the ATF.
>However there are what, thirty some odd uniformed sworn types of federal LEOs?
At least that many. However the majority of them, despite being police officers, perform more security guard duties like protecting buildings and access control. Forest Service and Fish and Wildlife cops are generally regarded as some of the best policing jobs out there because they're some of the few who do "real" law enforcement. They're also some of the most dangerous however and regularly top the list of "assaults on police officer". Expected since they patrol large secluded areas by themselves where anyone they come into contact with is likely to be armed and a skilled shooter.
It's actually pretty interesting but a lot of the uniformed LEO positions can absolutely cash out and make way more than plain clothes special agents in more prestigious agencies. SA's have LEAP, which is an automatic 25% added to your salary to account for the overtime that you will be expected to work. With uniformed gigs, they don't have LEAP and get paid like 2.5x their salary when working OT. There was a bit of a scandal not too long ago because Capitol Police officers were making like $120,000 off of a $60,000 salary because of all the OT they were working.
>>57530433
Oh geeze Rick I'd sure love to cum in a federal agent. Boy, th-th-that would be real nice
>>57530433
If join any because I care about my country.
>>57538851
FDA is currently in charge of genetic changes to plant and animals, mostly because genetic engineering is a relatively new science and they really couldn't regulate us under anything else, m colleagues in the lab worked mostly on soybeans, sorghum, and arabidopsis I was the the only one fucking with animals
Currently interning with the CIA, with a guaranteed, or rather, compulsory, job after I'm done. Why? It's a secure job that pays very well. I enjoy reading /pol/, but I'm apathetic towards politics in general. I'll do whatever someone asks of me as long as the price is right.
It's not hard to get here, it's just work. Long, tedious work. In my opinion, the hardest part of all of this is the security clearance, but that's just because it takes so long to 1) gather the information and 2) get it approved. You need a relevant degree. I majored in International Security with a focus on the Middle East. You should also know what is considered to be a critical language. You can look up the critical languages list on your own, but basically these are languages like Arabic, Russian, Turkish, Korean, etc that the government needs, but does not have enough fluent speakers of.
Don't wait to get recruited. That's retarded. This is a career, like any other career. If you want it, you need to seek it. You're not going to magically get recruited by the MIB or something. You get a degree, you get an internship, you sit your ass down and scroll through the USA Jobs website, apply for programs like CLS, etc.
>>57538301
If you consider sitting behind a desk all day fun then sure. Federal agents have the same access to all the super secret intel that analysts do, but they can actually go out and do something about it.
ITT neets and twelve year olds
>>57531039
"No sé *LO* que vi, Molderrrr..."
>>57539182
yea but then youd have to live in shithole virginia with the nogs at least the FBI lets you stay in your state
>>57539291
>lets you stay in your state
They'll move you to wherever they need you
>>57530433
Air Force ---> Office of Special Investigations ---> UFO's and shit.
>>57539291
Also, the "shithole Virginia" where the CIA is located is one of the most wealthy areas in one of the most wealthy counties in the country.
>>57538790
Amateur bodybuilder here.
I would like to know more about this captain america serum. Did y save any of your documents?
>>57539401
>>57530433
Bootlicker.
>>57539291
I don't mind. It's a comfy job. We have Wine Wednesdays (I shit you not, this is a thing), the area around where I work is a lot prettier than where I moved from, and the Northern states are pretty small, so even NYC is only a 4 hour drive away.
>>57530433
>100% white no criminal record ( never caught or charged for anything )
>go software engineering at uni
>easily transition into security
>work in army for cyber security
>while i am there get credentials as officer
>get security clearance because i am the security
>transition to work for ASIO
>now have the right to carry a gun at all times and break the law
>immunity from prosecution
>i can arrest people and detain them for a period without any reason
>i can break, enter and search private properties
>i have the authority to allow others to use weapons in certain situations
>i have no restrictions on imports
and thats where i am at 24. how are you candy asses doing?
>>57539581
if you got $50,000 yes
this is for 13 weeks worth
you should see a 200% increase in skeletal muscle mass without exercise, if you workout while on it your results will be greater
>>57539655
Nigger
>>57539716
Are the changes permanent or would i become dependant on the serum? Also does the serum get injected the same way as steroids?
I do, but they don't accept people that have trouble not having sex with other things
And I even went to school to learn Farsi
>>57530433
the texas rangers B)
>>57539687
Living in a country with rule of law and not an out of control police state.
>>57538931
>There are local cops in some New Jersey counties who make near 6 figures starting out and easily surpass 6 figures after a couple of years.
Well I'm sure the pay is commensurate to the risk. El Paso cops get great pay too.
>The FBI takes their roll as top cop very seriously. They will take over a crime scene and the accolades that come with solving said crime without hesitation when it's something that falls under their jurisdiction. I assume it would be the same with the ATF.
Yes many stories revolved around either those guys doing just this, or my relatives foiling their plans and making the bust. Especially my one F&W buddy who has caught exotic animal smugglers. He said something like vultures at a carcass when it came to different agencies and bureaus trying to finally make the big bust.
>Fish and Wildlife cops are generally regarded as some of the best policing jobs out there because they're some of the few who do "real" law enforcement
Yeah actually one fellow I know from the few times I have literally 2015 played around in IPSC. He was one of the top guys and he knew I wuz a good boy and kinda helped me out. They have to be pretty sharp with their firearms. They also do fieldwork in both the wilderness and the cities, which gives them an enormous advantage as I'm sure you know.
Anyway if you're a cop stay safe and pass the word about those Somalians in Minneapolis, they said in their rally last night that they "already are forming militant groups to attack the police and white people" because that's serious shit. Review the tape, threads on 4plebs.
Merry Christmas.
>>57539209
>Federal agents have the same access to all the super secret intel that analysts do
You're always good for a chuckle before bed, FBI.
>>57539687
>posts anime
Stop lying ya NEET.
>>57539863
>implying a 'police state' is bad if you are the 'police'
>>57539780
subdermal 100 µg so not a very big shot
the changes are not permanent it increases muscle mass in the same your body naturally does just faster
unlike steroids it won't shrink your dick or cause changes to any other internal organ as it only affect skeletal muscle
if you remember in health class you were taught about "fast and slow twitch" muscles, this increases a third type that has the ability to switch between the two, so you will get both strength and endurance, but the effects will only stay if you stay in shape
>>57539914
>le anime is NEET only meme
omfg you are so funny senpai
kek desu my fucking sides
>>57539687
my hero
>>57539914
>image.jpg
don't worry, he's not a NEET.
>>57539866
Thanks brother, you as well. Not a cop, just very familiar with the industry.
>>57539908
>implying special agents aren't given Top Secret/SCI clearances
>>57540089
Ok so it builds hybrid fibres. How long until i would have to take more? Also what are the negative side effects?
>>57540409
you can take it for as long or short as you want, there is no dependency it just gives your body a boost, you could take extremely small doses for 2 years or take the same amount for 2 weeks and see the exact same result, if you don't workout while on it, if you do workout you will just see a greater rate of muscle mass being grown
as far as negative side effects go, there are none, at least none that I've discovered, I'm not exactly "allowed" to give it to people, but the mice i've tested saw no negative side effects
>>57530433
If Trump becomes president I want to be an Operation Wetback agent. I'd raid taco joints around the country like Van Alden.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TklRWBKQo8
>>57540685
So i would be your first human test subject?
>>57540685
Also are there any other people in your line of work that know about this?
>>57541133
sure lots of people know about it
by now I'm sure a few college professors do too
we just aren't allowed to do anything with it
>>57530433
Pretty sure they'd vet out anyone that posts on this site in the hiring process. The government does not particularly like this site.
>>57541252
Send me an email.
[email protected]
>>57530681
Veteran helps, but not an absolute requirement. A friend of mine got into the FBI academy and all he had was a BS in criminology and 2 yrs work experience in a non-related field. A spotless record and a low level (confidential) security clearance probably didn't hurt, either.
My guess is that the degree and maybe police service would help the most.
>>57539182
Enjoy your name being sold to jihadis by democrats.
>>57539291
Yes, but you can disappear anyone that is becoming too involved with your private life.
>>57541346
Not necessarily. Most of us come here to sift through info that can't be found other places, in search of truths. This isn't /b/. Being able to comb through a place like this and find what's real and useful, is a pretty useable skill tbqhf.
Also, there are agents on this site right now. Maybe knowledge of the format, terminology, and just plain unteachable understanding this undefinable place is something they're looking for to fill those positions. Never hurts to try.
