You've just been elected President of The United States of America!
What's your first order of business?
>>56552035
Get rid of those ugly was couches.
>>56552035
Press the red button.
Legalize weed. That was it's no longer an issue that people spend their vote on, and we can move onto other things.
Take a shit on the table
>>56552035
send blacks and others "PoC" to concemptration camps
Drop a nuke over Mecca during Hajj.
Then commit suicide since my life's work has been completed
>>56552035
Hire Donald Trump as my advisor and do whatever he says
Go down in history as the greatest president to have ever lived
>>56552035
reallocate spending, i'm sure the budget is fucked as hell at this point
>>56552144
Also this, for a legacy, even if its a meme legacy
>>56552035
Remove the IRS
>>56552035
Stop funding Israel
>>56552035
BUILD WALL
>>56552035
Nuke DC and everywhere else.
remove dual US-israelis from any political position.
Interment camps for all muslims and blacks. Zyklon Ben them all in the first 24 hours.
Remove kebab
>>56552035
Make it a law that Argentinians are recognized as white.
I would build a large and beautiful wall
then have every liberal executed in the street
>>56552089
>>56552113
Both good answers.
BUILD WALL
U
I
L
D
W
A
L
L
>>56552168
>be president
>first day shit right on desk
>leave shit on desk
>if anyone tries to remove the shit, they are fired
>every time on live TV, the shit is right in the corner of the screen for all of the world to see
>last day of presidency
>take shit on live TV on other side of the desk
>leave it for next president
>>56552194
that sounds awful. He's fucking retarded, dude. I wanna vote for him to see the how bad he can train wreck this country, though.
>>56552035
B U I L D I T
U
I
L
D
I
T
>>56552314
this
>>56552035
Nuke Mexico.
Gas the kikes.
>>56552035
Fumigating the nigger out of all the furniture, hell reupholster.
Divert the Mississipi and flood Texas dont know why but it seems like a good idea.
>>56552415
And the niggers.
#blacklivesdontmatter
>>56552035
>"My fellow Americans."
>"Let me tell you about the Jews..."
MAKE
AMERICA
WHITE
AGAIN
Build wall
Turn middle east to glass
Reinstate national service
Tax rich heavily and change fine system to percentages of income
Make moving money off Shore a prisonable offence
Once you use your three strikes you become a slave to the state for labour
That's a few things
>>56552554
>implying the jews will let you get that message televised
>Cut most welfare programs, No mo money for them programs
>switch to singlepayer health care system. Reduce costs overall.
>kick out illegals.
>provide tax benefits for white families who have 3 or more children.
Lets make America white again
>>56552113
>>56552144
This.
If mudslimes are around make akmehd crow laws for em
Kick progressive people outta california
Make cuba a state
Sever all ties with Israel and any middle eastern countries
Fix the edcuation system, if a kid is having trouble learning then they get assigned a class/helper to properly learn whatever at their pase instead of forcing it then failing em
>>56552554
THIS.
For months leading up to the speech, you preach about how you're going to address "privilege" and other such leftist bullshit. When the time finally arrives, you turn 180 degrees and redpill the whole nation. The filthy Khazars will never see it coming.
>>56552597
75% of rich people immediately revoke their citizenship and move to a freer country
Lack of rich people and investment leads to a dramatic decline in production and wealth creation
Australia turns into a shithole on the scale of Nigeria
> mfw you're turned your country into a nigger country
Bomb the Japanese as revenge for pearl harbor.
Execute Executive Order 66
>>56552035
BOMB OIL
O
M
B
O
I
L
>>56552035
turn the eagles head towards the arrows
>>56552035
>annex canada
>deport non whites
>disband nato
>destroy un
>hang environmental activist
>send david suzuki to chernobyl
>crusade middle east
Immediately and forcefully annex the puppet state of Canada into the United States
>>56552035
Create a state issued, interest free currency.
Executive order to destroy mass immigration, then work to legally end it.
Reduce number to 250000 per year and only let in Europeans. Stop migration/citizenship of migrant Spics, niggers, and Muslims on the basis of "stealing the intelligent people of poor countries is an issue of humanitarianism." The truely exceptional ones can come get educated and pay some taxes, but they have to go back after.
>>56552035
Hmm yes
Hello, is this Krispy Kreme? Yes, Mr.President speaking, I'd like 100 glazed donuts and 100 Chocolate with filling. No, no sprinkles, and they better be made sprinkle kosher.
Alright, what's on the agenda? Hold on, there's someone that needs preaching on a Fedorafest thread online. Tell the NSA to send me a database these sperglords and most potent, military grade shitposts America can offer for me to use.
Ok, seriously, what's going on today? A Xisquerist Liberal Campaign asking for an appearance? Alright, who's the clown here? Jerry, I'm looking at you, you ass. Tell them I am unavilable, oh but tell them it's because I have a meeting with the NRA instead. Yes I know that's until next May but they don't know that.
Come on people, let's get busy! Give me some real work to do. Let's look at some bills: The Privilege Reform Act? Well, it is 20XX, the times of white privilege gone gone on long enough and it's time to give a new voice t- Ben don't give me that look, I'm shitting you, looks like you don't want your Christmas whiskey this year, alright here, veto, now go give it to your boyfriend. Hey, no flipping off the President!
Jenny, what's the status of those donuts? 10 mins? Make it 5 and you can have one. Also order a double half burger from any restaurant here, make it for 4 hours from now, says here I have to attend an award ceremony and looks like PETA is sponsoring the event, we want them to feel like they're making a difference.
Oh wait, hold that thought, I've got a call. Yes, Mr. President speaking. Donald! What a pleasant surprise! What can I help you with today? The wall? Yes yes, it's all going perfectly fine. What's that? No, pretty sure the wall is on the border, I've had my best people look at the plans. The MEXICAN-American border? Surely you meant the Canadian-American border? Where do you think the feminists come from? Alright, send me the plans and we'll take it from there. Phew, Jerry is gonna kick my ass for that.
>>56553384
I would
>/thread
but you forgot to build the wall
>>56552035
Unite Syria, the rebels, and tag team with Russia to butt fuck ISIS. Then work with Russia to overthrow Assad, give it to the rebels, and split the oil profits.
Start a nuclear war.
>>56552035
i have my first state of the union where i talk about what happened during the week
and then say that i will do this every week
>Print tons of money and use it to build wall encasing all of America in an anti-nuke bubble.
>Simultaneously send planes out to all major cities in enemy countries
>Drop nukes at one time
>Set up concentration camps for all niggers/mexicans/asian men
>Force all female asians to be comfort women for NEETS/robots/virgins
Let's make america #1, white, and free of mentally ill virgins.
Reform the criminal justice system, fire cops that have more than 3 abuse of force complaints, fire judges that protect shitty cops, Release non-violent drug offends. Expand the EPA, go after wall st, make all government employees prove their competence in their jobs, and cut funding to defense and Military aid programs. Also, offer free one way tickets to niggers to go back to Africa.
>>56552035
Gut the IRS. Gut welfare. Gut all funding to countries not proven to be allies. Get all vets back up to fighting speed. Deport every Muslim that does not publicly denounce violence. Burn the Westboro Baptist Church to the ground to send a message to Christians to get their shit together and actually speak like Jesus. Fix our power infrastructure. Prepare for home field advantage.
>>56552035
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scHCT4IIN0o
>>56552035
>Violent crimes, violent rape, and neighborhood theft are punishable by death
>Legalize weed and regulate it like alcohol or tobacco
>Allow states to decide same sex marriage
>Throw trannies and SJW "Pronoun Shitlords" in asylums where they belong
>Create community revival jobs in cities and employ minorities
>Deport all criminal Illegals immediately
>Privatize as much as humanly possible
>Make a speech full of pro-diversity buzzwords and regurgitate about "New" affirmative action, diversity offices on campus, minority scholarships and equal treatment under the law so fuckers can be happy (Even though they are too stupid to realize it exists already)
>>56553809
>free of mentally ill virgins
>the president is already one
srsly
BUILD WALL
>>56553855
Gut the IRS? How about just changing tax law? It's not their fault.
Jesus, Michelle just can not decorate. Someone help that woman.
>>56553954
Violent crimes?
So two dudes who get in a bar fight should be put to death?
>>56552035
Nuke Moscow with just one nuke. Wait to see their reaction.
>>56552035
completely remove welfare, social security, and disability for anyone other than veterans
If the congress makes a bill to repeal it, I veto it
wall is not needed.
>>56554033
Nice dubs
Trim first reform after
>>56552035
Use extraordinary rendition on the Supreme Court and have them MkUltra'd at a CIA black site until they're basically just zombies who will sign off on all of my other tyrannical decisions.
>>56552035
Decriminalize most everything, nuke Mecca, and abolish most government agencies.
Then annex Canada and Mexico.
>>56554093
I should have specified repeat offenders. Also more serious crimes, where someone gets seriously fucked up. Barfights usually just end up in people getting thrown out or are usually disorderly conduct anyways.
>>56552035
I'd do a lot of things actually.
-attempt to institute a flat tax and lower corporate tax rate.
-attempt to fix the regulatory code to make it easier for small businesses to open and stay in business.
-Have the federal minimum wage go up with inflation yearly
-reign in spending on entitlement programs and healthcare
-try to set up a gold standard or something along those lines to get away from the petro dollar
-invest heavily in nuclear power, hopefully having our electricity come mostly from this source
-give Israel free reign in Palestine, work with Russia to find a mutually beneficial state of affairs in the Middle East and Eastern Europe (on the condition that Iran doesn't go nuclear, hell I'll even recognize the annexation of Crimea if it'll help.)
-set up protectionist economic policies against China until they agree to stop manipulating their currency
-nutter the NSA, set up original thin thread policy instead of the abomination we have now
-tweak the EPA, weaken it just a little
-heavily restrict immigration, continue deportations, heavy punishments for those that hire illegals.
All of this among other things, it'll take too long to list everything.
![image_4+(1)[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/fO1d55w.jpg "image_4+(1)[1].jpg")
I would invade and civilize the Solomon Islands
>>56552035
>repeal the 2nd amendment
>repeal the 22nd amendment
>work to ban the GOP and tea party
>dissolve the congress & courts
>raise taxes on the wealthy
>raise the minimum wage
>gut welfare reform & drastically increase social spending
>cut military spending & demilitarize the police
>legalize marijuana & decriminalize all drugs
>sign Kyoto protocol, implement cap&trade
>protect same-sex marriage and grant LGBT people special protections under the law
>open all borders & grant amnesty to all those here illegally
>let in all refugees
>make all abortions on demand and taxpayer funded including overseas.
>increase federal funding for stem cell research
>end the gender wage gap through legislation and institute required paid leave
>destroy ISIL & remove the Assad regime
>enforce no-fly zone over Syria & attack Russia if necessary
>increase sanctions on Russia and expand NATO to its doorstep
>strengthen alliances with East Asian partners & contain China
>pressure China to reign in North Korea
>threaten Iran with retaliation if it breaks the deal
>hand over U.S. sovereignty to the UN
>ban all non state sponsored news media
>universal pre-K and "free" community college
>forgive all student loan debt
>transition ACA to single payer
>increase affirmative action and reparations
>>56552342
>>56552035
-First eliminate all members of the federal government with any sort of actual power, like congressmen, heads of NSA/CIA, etc.
-Kill all non-whites with an IQ under 110
-Kill everyone else with an IQ under 90
-Kill all jews regardless of IQ
-Bomb every mass media outlet
-Ban all immigration permanently, even white immigrants and refugees
-Invade all universities public or private and eliminate all feminist/cultural studies type departments
-Take money out of politics completely
-Declare the great cleansing has come to an end and everyone can resume their business
>>56554456
Go to bed Bernie. You're drunk.
![c8f52e0898c748a26ae63d99d042ccba[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/c6BnGFC.jpg "c8f52e0898c748a26ae63d99d042ccba[1].jpg")
>>56552035
KILL THE BANK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b8nN5nPAyE&t=2m32s
>>56554641
You missed the part where you got assassinated before #2.
Get a blowjob in the oval.
repeal all amendments past 10 because they are redundant. Except maybe the 2 term thing since people are retarded these days
Close the loophole that allowed me to get elected.
Resign so my V.P. Donald Trump can become president and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
>>56552035
>elected
But I'm a monarchist. I guess I'd do my best to so-sully the position that the legitimacy of it is ruined forevermore, though I can't fathom how I'd outdo our current chimp-in-chief.
>>56554217
This is what scares me about letting idiots make laws. You don't think of the unintended consequences, and the way that the legal system will abuse the shit out of any law that grants them more power.
>>56552035
Commander Cody, the time has come.
Execute order 66
Fire every member of the House and Senate, hold immediate elections for new positions.
>>56555060
>Unintended consequences
Taking violent people off the street?
Build more tanks. North to Canada, south to Chile (French Guiana excepted), purging communists all the way. Draw territorial boundaries according to my whim.
If Congress objects, sic the military on them. If any country outside the American continent objects, conquer them but have much less mercy than in Latin America.
Who will pay for this? Germoney, Sweden, and the UK will pay for it, as their fine for almost destroying humanity.
Finally, take over Middle East, remove kebab, and let Israel have Lebanon in exchange for the Negev, and then put every last jew in the country there, not allowing more into the US. Then, build a great impenetrable wall around Israel and cut off their communications. Israel can exist, but it will have no more influence ever on anywhere else in the world.
Somewhere along the line I'd also get rid of the US Dollar and replace it with a currency that's actually worth something, and also demolish the UN building.
I'd also push, though I would have no actual power to change it, the repeal of the 14th, 15th, 19th and 22nd Amendments. Also, delete the words "a well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state" from the 2nd Amendment, so it's fucking clear once and for all that the right to keep and bear arms SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED
What am I missing?
Immediately imprison all police for crimes against humanity. Reduce criminal law to "don't harm other people". Take the power away from the rich and give it back to the poor.
>>56555059
>American
>Monarchist
My brother! Who would you import to become king? The only legitimate choice is surely a Windsor.
>>56552035
exterminate the Muslims
Shut down immigration, period -- for a while, not permanently.
>>56552035
>1) Nuke ISIS and an other muslim country.
>2) Round up muslims from every corner of the planet.
>3) Deport them to Madagascar.
>4) Nuke it with a dozen Tsar bombs.
>5) Let a single tear slide down my face as I witness the birth of a new, glorious era.
>>56552035
Press conference.
As much coverage as I can get.
Take a dump on tv.
Wipe my ass with the constitution.
>>56555138
They would just elect shitty politicians again anon.
>>56552342
Obama already train wrecked it dumbass
Call up Surpreme Leader Trump and ask if there's anything I can do for him
>Erect a cross shaped medieval sword atop the whitehouse
>Reinstate segregation
>Ban Islam
>Fly to Mecca and take shit on that thing they walk around
>Nuke the Middle East into a sandbox
>send the military to Sweden and impose martial law and a Lebensborn program
ban iceberg lettuce
>>56555206
> Violent crimes, violent rape, and neighborhood theft are punishable by death
Two people mutually fighting where someone is seriously injured is a violent crime. Flicking a cop is consider a violent crime in most states, simply because its a cop. Neighborhood theft? So a 16 year old kid who steals a neighbors pumpkin is suddenly eligible for the death penalty? This is the kind of over reaction, feels good bullshit that women do. This is how we end up with laws PC laws that were designed to protect a certain group of people, but end up being perverted into something that makes free speech illegal.
>>56552035
>give business freedom of association
>Go back to immigration policies of the 50's
>legalize weed
>raise taxes on rich to pay back debt
>>56555264
>tfw I'm in the political closet since my father's republican af
Anyway, to your question: I'm a bit stuck there. I want someone our country would actually support, but I don't think there are any American citizens with legitimacy since we're forbidden by law from accepting titles of nobility.
>>56552035
build wall
Give nigger reparations in the form of sending them to Africa
>>56555504
>not cabbage
I'm running against you
>become president
>fuck my woman
>eat a burger
>find a way to outlaw all other political parties
>fuck my woman again
>outlaw islam
>eat a burger
>bomb middle east with rotten pig corpses spreading disease and fear of no heaven for all
>execute order 66 of islam
>eat a burger
>swarm my armies into europe
>fuck my woman
>demolish all antifa
>enact 10th crusade
>eat a burger
>when islam is vanquished, turn on jews except gilbert gottfried
>fuck my woman
being supreme leader is hot shit
>>56555372
Yeah but at least they'd be aware of what fucking century it is they're living in.
Shitpost on /pol/
>>56555891
So no change, really?
>>56552035
Invite Clockmed back to the whitehouse
Then bash his face in with the suitcase
>>56554033
the tax laws ARE the IRS's fault.
the 16th amendment was never ratified, th4e secretary of the treasury simply declared it to be "In Force"
everything that happened after that was inevitable.
how to eliminate the IRS without congressional support?
new president requests resignations of all IRS cheifs and secretary of treasury
appoint new secretary of treasury who is anti-IRS, never appoint new bureaucrats, veto every tax bill, BAM, no more income tax.
same works for every govt bureaucracy. they derive their "legitimacy" from their executive branch appointments, without those they have nothing.
>>56552035
BUILD A WALL AND MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
>>56552035
masturbate.
initiate world war 3
finally gas all the kikes
>>56553264
>>56552035
Very first thing is tough, but immediately stop the muslims from coming in. Build the wall. Deport the illegals. Round up the muslims into camps. Demolish the mosques. Dump all homosexuals in San Francisco and build a wall to keep them in. Shoot anyone who propagandizes for homosexuality to children. Nuke Syria.
I think that's a pretty good first day. Tomorrow I'll deal with niggers and the international jew. The day after that I'll save white Europe.
>>56554456
>>56552342
How's your day been, Chan Outreach?
1# Executive Order to repeal term limits and declare war on Congress.
>>56552035
Log into sad panda from the Oval Office.
Go after the Guns.
Give said guns to my People.
Incite hatred and attempt to commit genocide of a people with mass immigration after all
HOW DID ROME FALL ?
Become a War Criminal
>>56552035
>declare liberals as carriers of the disgusting and racist 'white man's burden' and throw them to the wolves
>jump through a few bullshit loopholes to get a bill of rights for workplaces and colleges guaranteeing freedom of speech (providing said speech is strictly between employees and not customers or clients)
>recognize Jews as an 'elite' and heap tons of attention and rewards on them for being so goddamn in charge of everything despite being such a small fraction of the population
>offer slavery reparations to blacks in the form of a free one way ticket to parts of Africa untouched by oppressive white men
>promote incompetent women to insanely high positions in the military
>give Putin a call and give him the intel necessary for a surgical takeover of the US
>do so only on the condition that the Bill of Rights remain in place after he gets to kill all the degenerates and muslims he wants
>>56552035
Global man hunt for every jew
>>56556323
What game is this?
>>56555596
Well nobility and ancestry is all that incredibly important in a monarchy. Otherwise it's just a dictatorship.
Get indicted in International Court and get Trumped.
Reinstate the constitution as is
Make gay marrige illegal again and watch all the fags and left wing pussies rage.
I bring back the 3/5 compromise, it's been demonstrated repeatedly that niggers are not human.
>>56556770
>Obama not legally President
>ALL legislation that passed under him is suddenly null / void
please let it happen.
>>56556742
Shadow President
>>56555397
obama literally just preserved the shittiest status quo in the history of the world
>>56552035
GAS THE KIKES, RACE WAR NOW
Release a sex tape
>>56556957
>Shadow President
TY /pol/
>>56552144
Weed lmao
>>56555059
Why not declare yourself emperor and establish a monarchy?
>Legalize Weed
>Allow US Territories to vote
>Cut all ties to Israel and Middle East
>Militarize police on a global scale
>Deport all refugees of any kind into Hawaii
>0% Gun Control
>Illegalize Abortion
>Bring back American Imperialism and take over Micronesian, Polynesian and Melanesian Islands
>Work with South American militaries to destroy all the cartels and corrupt governments
>Liberate the entire continent of Africa from Warlords and build a system of infrastructure and government
>Degrade NSA Power
>Cut all ties to Unrebewable Energy and take focus to Renewable energy and Train systems
>Massively Improve and fund Palestine
Make special cop free zones where blacks can live on their own without having to deal with white people, I'll need to surround it with some kind of wall or fence, like gated communities but with an armed guard to keep them in.
>>56552035
Hang anime posters up
Kill all niggers
Nuke California
Build wall
Be best friends with Putin
>Hang the entire Clinton Family for High Treason
>Get rid of the Jews
>Hang the Entire Bush family for the same reason
>get rid of the jews
>Hang Obama from the tallest of trees
>get rid of the jews
>Get those nigs in line
>get rid of the jews
>complete overhaul of mass media
>get rid of the jews
>complete overhaul of the banking system
>get rid of the jews
>eliminate welfare
>get rid of the jews
>build a wall
>get rid of the jews
get rid of the jews
Nothing. Just barricade myself in the oval office with 4 years worth of food and play video games all day. Wouldn't even run for relection, just go full hikikomori on the White House. Not one is allowed in the Oval Office, and no laws can be passed.
>reduce tax to 5% for all, no sales tax anywhere
>print shit load of money so debts become worthless
>draft
>replace saudi arabia with corporation, populate oil fields with texans
