/classics/: claudius edition
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>afflicted with a limp
>slight deafness
>ostracized and excluded from public office
>enemies did not see him as a serious threat
>seen as vulnerable throughout his reign
>murdered by his own wife
Just look at that face.
What a low energy, low test cvckold.
>>56489994
Don't look now but this guy you're mocking conquered Britain.
>>56490080
And Canada's a bitch of the Brits, so...shitpost might've backfired a bit.
>>56490080
Whatever nigger. They'll be saying the same about Al-Baghdadi in a few thousand years. The Brits are pushover losers.
>After the death of Tiberius the new emperor Caligula (the son of Claudius' brother Germanicus) recognized Claudius to be of some use. He appointed Claudius his co-consul in 37 in order to emphasize the memory of Caligula's deceased father Germanicus. Despite this, Caligula relentlessly tormented his uncle: playing practical jokes, charging him enormous sums of money, humiliating him before the Senate, and the like. According to Cassius Dio Claudius became very sickly and thin by the end of Caligula's reign, most likely due to stress.
Bullied by his nephew to the point that it started to impact his health.
>Early in his reign, the Greeks and Jews of Alexandria sent him two embassies at once after riots broke out between the two communities. This resulted in the famous "Letter to the Alexandrians", which reaffirmed Jewish rights in the city
is gavin mcinnes related to this guy?
>he then reaffirmed the rights and freedoms of all the Jews in the Empire
>>56489994
he kinda looks like rand paul
>>56490216
How long until control of western Canada is handed over to the Chinese?
>>56491769
Never.
Just Watch Me™ Junior is shipping in 900 Islamic State militants per day (or 328,500 annually). We'll be a part of the caliphate before the CPC gets their hands on our clay.
>ancient authors accused Claudius of being dominated by women and wives, of being uxorious
Total loser.
>Claudius later divorced Urgulanilla for adultery and on suspicion of murdering her sister-in-law Apronia. When Urgulanilla gave birth after the divorce, Claudius repudiated the baby girl, Claudia, as the father was allegedly one of his own freedmen. This action made him later the target of criticism by his enemies.
J U S T
U
S
T
>>56493824
Cvckvs Romanvs
>in 38 or early 39, Claudius married Valeria Messalina, who was his first cousin
>This marriage ended in tragedy. The ancient historians allege that Messalina was a nymphomaniac who was regularly unfaithful to Claudius — Tacitus states she went so far as to compete with a prostitute to see who could have the most sexual partners in a night[39] — and manipulated his policies in order to amass wealth. In 48, Messalina married her lover Gaius Silius in a public ceremony while Claudius was at Ostia.
>>56494477
The role model for any modern Italian wife!
I, Claudius was good though.
I like the bit where Brian Blessed finds out what a massive whore his daughter is.
>>56489994
Still this nigga was smarter than any of the other niggaz around who wanted to become Emperor.
This nigga used all his weaknesses to his advantage.
It's the same with Augustus (praise our God Emperor, may he rest in peace).
He was also an individual who was known for his sickness and weakness when he was a small kid.
Still he was probably the smartest fucker around and kept everyone else in check through brilliant tactics.
This once again confirms that the West values intellect the most. If you want to be praised for your ape like strenght, go to some barbaric shithole.
>Claudius has one son with Valeria Messalina named Britannicus. His cousin-wife then marries another man during their marriage and attempts a coup with him against Claudius
>Claudius is so frustrated that he makes the Praetorians promise to kill him if he ever marries again
>sure enough, he marries again
>this time to Agrippina the Younger along with her son from a previous marriage, Nero, who comes along for the ride
>upon Claudius and Agrippina's marriage, Claudius' step-son Nero is made co-heir alongside Claudius' real son Brittanicus. Nero is older and better-liked by the public, so he in reality becomes the effective heir
>Agrippina poisons Claudius and Nero takes the throne. Britannicus is murdered shortly thereafter, lest he think of stealing the throne from Nero
Claudius' real son is cvcked out of his birthright to be Roman Emperor because Claudius couldn't stop chasing old, spent, cvckqueen pussy. Not only does it rob Britannicus of his birthright, but it actually gets them both killed.
...
Claudius is the ultimate cvck.
Is IMPERATOR IVLIVS CAESAR the ultimate anti-cvck in this regard?
He had fucked almost every senator's wife, he fucked "WE WUZ QUEENS N SHIT"-Cleopatra HARD, he conquered the most terrain for SPQR, etc.
>>56496032
>Still this nigga was smarter than any of the other niggaz around who wanted to become Emperor.
"Nigga?" "Niggaz?" Funny, I always thought the Roman emperors were White. If you want to talk like a fucking porch monkey, come to the US and I'll be happy to drop you off in Newark and get you meet real NIGGERS and try out your wigger talk on them. Until them, please talk like a fucking WHITE GUY if you're White. Maybe you tihnk it's cool being from whatever Eastern Euro shithole you are, but it just makes you sound like a pathetic faggot. Thanks.
>>56496782
>please talk like a fucking WHITE GUY
>belgium
ayy lmao dis niggas probably posting from molenbeek
>>56496782
>not understanding the absurdism and irony of calling once the most powerful and excellent people on earth "nigga" and "niggaz".
America, please...
>>56496546
It's pretty classic really; empires are always built by great men, but once you get a few generations into it the degeneracy becomes unavoidable and the family's fortunes are scuppered.
I don't really know of very much to criticize Julius Caesar on, other than pic related, which is more just ridiculous than anything.
>>56497104
Oh yea, I have read about that.
But he molded his image after that rumor into being a sexual predator by trying to fuck every important man's wife a dozen times.
He probably did this to make sure no one important even dared to mention this homo rumor because they would be guaranteed to get cvcked into oblivion by Caesar.
>>56496546
Calugula wasn't much of a kek, but he was pretty /b/-tier. Makes for neat excepts from historians though.
>When Cassius Chaerea asked for the watchword Caligula would give him "Priapus" or "Venus," and when Chaerea had occasion to thank him for anything, he would hold out his hand to kiss, forming and moving it in an obscene fashion.
So essentially Caligula would make his Praetorians use codewords like "Boner" and "Fag," and when the head guard would try to thank him by kissing his hand, Caligula would make jerkoff motions in his face and stuff.
>>56493967
kek
>>56497398
Yea, Caligula pretty much was a living and breathing meme.
Historians now are trying to "rediscover" him and are more and more understanding that he apperantly was not a complete retard.
He actually managed to stay in power for 4 years while being the biggest fucker alive ever and he managed to conquer some terrain while maintaining all his shenanigans.
>>56497668
Wasn't he doing all sorts of favors for people in the early part of his reign and progressively became more and more tyrannical as a response to people seeing him as weak and began to try to screw him over?
>>56497668
>actually managed to stay in power for 4 years while being the biggest fucker alive ever
Pretty fucking impressive tbqh
