You decided to go on normalfag adventures, you used your autism bux to buy a ticket to see your favourite death metal band. During the concert a bunch of terrorists show up and take everyone it the room hostage. All you have in your pockets is a smartphone, condoms and a swiss army knife. What do you do?
>>55817756
die.
Cower and die, most likely. Maybe even die before I have time to panic.
But in all honesty I stay away from all social activities as much as work will allow, especially those involving lots of people, and doubly so with regards to normalfag social activities.
>>55817756
>Mfw people don't know Eagles of Death Metal is a rock band
God damn it, did the band get killed too?
>>55817756
Start stabbing fellow normalfags around me for allowing the state to disarm me and forcing me to be an unarmed defenseless victim while screaming allah snackar.
>>55817943
Also this, I feel 100% safe because all of my activities involve being alone.
>>55817756
> This venue diagram is the side profile of the Fat Man atomic bomb.
>>55817756
>favourite death metal band.
even having LE GUN in this situation and trying to fight back you're an utter moron
first, you won't hit shit in the horrible commotion
two, they will mow you down easy because you're in the spotlight and they have four convergent lines of fire on you and you're already in midst of a hail of bullets
three, they got the drop on you, you totally didn't expect this, everybody around is fucking dying screaming and falling and you are in panic, as is only sensible in this scenario
The best thing to do is to just throw your gun away so it doesn't snag on something and make you stumble
Regards, slav corporal of artillery
>>55817756
>condoms
ever the optimist eh?
play dead
>>55818572
this
shit thread OP, nothing else needed
anything else would be keyboard gangsters trying to act hard
/thread
>>55818850
Just because you're inept doesn't mean I am.
>>55818850
I would lay down and pretend to be dead.
>>55818572
makes sense
>>55819078
You dont need to pretend, France
No OP you're on a public venue. Have you ever been to a concert or nightclub? They search you at the door.
You don't have a Swiss army knife.
You have a smartphone and condoms
>>55817756
Unseath the swiss knife, teleport and BS (backstab for you, n00bs) them one by one. At last, fit my fedora and tell them it wasn't personal.
>>55819798
>They search you at the door
maybe in burgerland
>>55817756
If you can't beat them, join them
>>55820258
in Germany as well, they took my swiff army knife and that was more than 10 years ago
>>55818023
>Start stabbing fellow normalfags around me
That might work, human shielding is the only option to survive in a situation like that.
Would suck to realize 10 seconds later they were just part of the show.
>>55817756
>>55817756
>EODM
>death metal
Pick one or back2/b/
>>55818572
Yeah, if you are stuck in the circle surrounded by multiple ak47 wielding terrorists and all you have is a handgun then you're fucked, it's true.
But OP's picture assumes there won't be anyone else in the entire vicinity who can outflank/get a good angle to fire at the terrorists. There are other people in the building who would not be totally surrounded on all sides, and there's a decent chance at least a few could start shooting at the terrorists from the rear/the sides.
>>55817756
I don't use my autismbux to pay for shitty concerts. Why in the name of god would I go to a public music event that wasn't something high class like opera? I don't use drugs and I don't like plebs. I'm glad they got killed. It's really too bad they didn't mow down a music festival.
>>55822937
True. Autismbux isn't that much money, right? Like maybe equivalent of minimum wage? A $60 vidya gaem like Fallout 4 gives you a lot more bang for your buck than a $150 concert.
>>55817756
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=323_1429066834
لاَ يَسْتَوِي الْقَاعِدُونَ مِنْ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ غَيْرُ أُوْلِي الضَّرَرِ وَالْمُجَاهِدُونَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ بِأَمْوَالِهِمْ وَأَنفُسِهِمْ فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ الْمُجَاهِدِينَ بِأَمْوَالِهِمْ وَأَنفُسِهِمْ عَلَى الْقَاعِدِينَ دَرَجَةً وَكُلاًّ وَعَدَ اللَّهُ الْحُسْنَى وَفَضَّلَ اللَّهُ الْمُجَاهِدِينَ عَلَى الْقَاعِدِينَ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا (النساء: 95). [مدنيّة.]
>>55819078
I poke you with bayonet to be sure. Your plan was not well thought out.
>>55819798
theres only a few venues near me that pat you down and they might as well not even do it because they do such a shit job. when i went to see anthrax and motorhead it was a nigger with a foot long piece of broom handle and he would just tap you down the side
>>55817832
this to be honest family
>>55823103
I don't give a shit if the damn thing was free. I'd have to be paid quite a bit of money to attend a pig sty like that. I'll say it again: America, please send your ISIS to wipe out a music festival. You can get to play your fake little bitch war games and remove some degeneracy simultaneously. It's a win-win. Get on it.
>>55819465
Fucking underrated.
>>55819465
kek
>>55817756
why do i have to be fat?
>>55817756
Jerk off.
>CHECK CONDOMS
Expired 3 years ago.
>CHECK SMARTPHONE
Last 5 messages from: Mom, mom, bank, mom, mom.
>>55823207
wtf
>Run in direction of exit
>hope to survive
>>55818572
>throw away your means of self-defense
That's being an utter moron.
>>55819798
Most venues don't have the ability to pat down or wand everyone coming in. The main reason for doing it is to deter actual smugglers of weapons on the off chance they do get selected for a random search.
>>55824261
>CHECK SWISS ARMY KNIFE
It's only one of those small shitty ones with a 1 inch blade and a toothpick.
>>55817756
Systematically get as close as possible and do a Hail Mary attempt at killing an assailant.
>>55824685
>CHECK DOUBLES
Great strength emanates from the upper right.
>>55817756
>death metal band.
The band at the massacre was not a death metal band, in spite of their stupidly misleading ironic hipster name.
>>55823373
This tbt (to be truthful) kin smk (shaking mein köpf)
>>55818572
Stopped reading after moron
> what happened to fight to the death
>>55825069
Man, he is from artillery.
>>55824959
>Cannibal Corpse
>Dat edginess
>Sounds like all the other screaming, blurred shit
>Every song by every death metal band sounds exactly the same WAUUUURRRGHH!! WAAAAH!!! WAUUURRGGHH!! DUNNA DUNNA DUNNA DUNNA WA BLAH MUH BUUUUURRG!!! BLLLLLAHHH!!!! BLUUUUUUGGHH!! DUNNA DUNNA DUNNA DUNNA
>People actually listen to this shit
>A LOT of people actually listen to this shit
>>55818572
There are body shields all around you.
>>55824959
DAMN I NEED MY TORN OUT AND DEFILED FETUS NOW!"""""
>>55825278
I never said I liked death metal. Cookie Monster vocals are pathetic, although some melodic stuff with this type of singing,like Arch Enemy, is passable.
I'll take clean, operatic vocals with range over Sesame Street singing any day.
>>55825278
>but have you seen their music videos
>>55825144
Fight or die simple as that Sven. More than likely die but we all do and I won't die letting some Fedora Islamists tip their Ak's without me charging.
>>55817756
Run to the wall or for any cover that breaks line of site, wait for reload. Get a good stabbing in the crook of the throat or in dominant hand. Subdue through strangulation while stealing weapon and extra magazines. Take cover. Reload weapon. Breathe. Take a count of hostiles remaining. Choose target, aim with intent to kill, and fire. Stop only to pick up unspent magazines off the dead. I've been through military training and already have experience supressing emotions in casualty situations. I've already had the fear of death drilled out of me. I might not be successful, I might be maimed or killed, but at least I won't cower in fear.
>>55817756
Assuming I don't die in the first few shots, I'd fall to the ground and pretend that they had already killed me, and wait the whole thing out. I've thought about this scenario, actually.
>>55817756
Getting behind the first dude will be the only hard part.
The honest serious answer is that you are probably going to die or manage to limp out inbetween reloads.
Everyone will be panic herded away from gunfire so that anyone brave/dumb enough to bumrush the shooters will easily be picked off.
Sure if EVERYONE decided to charge it might work, but this is a small concert full of somewhat drunk people suddenly being blinded with screaming and gunfire from all directions. No one's bum rushing shit.
>>55826202
10/10 bretty gud :D
just be in the eagles of death metal
>>55826215
You don't need a bumrush. You need a well-timed close quarters attack when they're reloading, which will probably be ten seconds from the first barrage because they'll shit out all their rounds in about that time.
>>55817756
Sneak up and stab them in the head.
Probably end up being shot in the process.
>>55825560
>Cookie Monster vocals
Kek. I'm stealing that.
>Sesame Street singing
Lel
>>55825723
No. Are they as edgy as their album covers? I mean seriously, if I didn't know any better I'd guess the band members were literally 15 years old.
>>55826747
They're probably trained well enough to know when to cover each other during reload.
In anycase, someone trained enough with firearms can reload in less than 10 seconds.
I agree that going out fighting is how i would prefer but it is near a hopeless scenario for a fight. Making a run for it prob makes more sense because you can at least help the wounded or get real help/weapons.
>>55826202
You carry a swiss army knife, stab his head in case he's wearing an explosive belt
>>55823207
That video is so autistic. Its like they just discovered after effects
>>55826691
Actually running for the stage was the good decision.
>>55818023
>>55821894
multliple keks!
>>55817756
I'd run to the centre of the room and get as many bodies between me and the terrorists as possible.
Then I'd reassess the situation. I'd either play dead or try to sneak out with the masses.
Of course, if the masses decided to charge the terrorists (which they should) I'd join in that. But fuck being at the front of the charge. I'd let a few Chads go first and die for me
>>55817756
Grab a normalfag and use his/her body as a shield while I run for the exit and let all the other normalfags die.
>>55817756
take off my shirt, wrap it around my face and start yelling ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! while holding a the knife up in the air
>wear condom for maximum protection
>blend them with my smartphone flashlight
>slit them open with my knife
>2 days later
>get blamed and arrested for killing innocent and friendly immigrants
>>55821582
top kek
>>55821582
Best chance of survival right here
>>55828115
Only if you're already far from the attackers.
If you're mere meters away from them, fighting (or sneaking behind them to run the other way) seems like the best solution to me.
Good luck reasoning like that in such a situation, though.
>>55817756
Call the nearest crane company
>>55829080
>blend them with my smartphone flashlight
Fuck this shit
>>55829977
designated
>>55830076
iPhone blender
>>55817756
Put on your ski-mask and yell ALLUHA AKUBRO! Show them how redpilled you are! Start acting retarded and blame everything on JEWS AND NIGGER!!! BE LOUD AS FUCK!
Also, Run around like you have ants in your pants, and then Run out the door. Maybe they will think you are one of them?
>>55817756
Why the fuck are you so obese? You're like 4 times the size of everyone. They might use you as a shield.
lounge at them with the knife, try and get as close to them as to render their long AK's useless.
And stab 'em in the fucking face. (that 'll learn 'em)
otherwise you could try to grab their rifle, after having taken advantage of the fact that mister knife for a face has both his arms occupied trying to re-assemble his face.
i heard the guy was a suicide bomber and had a bomb on his chest, well, he isn't going to blow himself up anytime soon, because he's having trouble locating his eyeballs.
haha, with this russian kalashnikov i will conquer this motherfuckers,
bet they didn't see that comming.
seriously thought.
have you ever heard of the term.
Fx3?
or FFF
freeze, flee or fight?
I'm probably the only person who would in any given situation try and make my death as awesome as possible.
>>55817756
If you have a gun it's simple.
Find cover.
Scout surroundings and Identify targets.
Fire at nearest target killing him instantly then fire at the other terrorists in order to force them to take cover as well.
Stand off until everyone is safe, if the terrorists try and shoot people fleeing then that's your chance to fire back.
>>55817756
Call in Donald Trump, Ben Carson and Newt Gingrich. Those fuckers know how to delete terrorists.
>>55817756
I attempt to make my way to the nearest Islamic gunman and, after getting his attention but before he lines up his shot, wave at him in a friendly fashion and just say "Fuckin' Jews, amirightguys?"
I imagine he'd smile and wave me past with a chuckling "Get outta here ya little scamp! You rapscallion you!"
>>55817756
Clearly I take this opportunity to feel up a French qt metalhead
