To which circle of Hell is /pol/ going to?
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
>In the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the damned with his teeth and claws.
I look forward to spend the afterlife with all you beautiful motherfuckers!
>>55335004
Got lvl 6
Am I satan yet?
>>55335522
Me 2
I hope we will be neighbors :)
Lvl 5
You lvl 6 bros sicken me
Will be swimming in styx river all night
>>55335004
3 or 6
I got purgatory. I'm not sure if that's good or bad within this context.
Who /lvl5/ here?
Even though I'm not violent at all. I guess gurgling in the mud doesn't sound like the worst thing ever, pretty chillax actually.
>Could you see yourself committing treason against your country?
Nice try NSA.
I got 6th level
level 6
pretty harsh for just non-believer
didnt know god was a butthurt fag
Is Atheism considered a pagan belief?
>>55335522
Level 4 myself.
I guess us norwegians don't like to share our money, huh.
what the hell did you guys answer as?
I'm a non believer just went off what I considered what consists of a good person and got this
Level 2.
Kinda surprised that I didn't make level 5.
Level 8 The Malebolge
/pol/ cant literally get on my level
Purgatory, see you dudes in Heaven in a few hundred year, oh wait, I won't, sorry.
I actually read the Inferno and Purgatorio like a month ago. They're very interesting, even though I'm an Atheist.
Go with the Penguin Classics version, it has great notes.
>>55336290
Atheism lands you straight at level 6.
>>55336440
That doesn't really answer my question. It was yes or no.
Got purgatory and limbo as high but level 8 as medium. What even?
i got purgatory, only because i try to be as honest with myself as possible.
Eighth Level of Hell - The Malebolge
My journey does not end till I have reached Cocytus and have freed the devil himself from his icy chains.
I've been sent off to level 5, though I came VERY close to level 7 or, God help me, level 9.
>>55336440
I'm agnostic so I went their too.
Now I have to hang out in the torture room with fedora tippers for all eternity
Or level 2, it depends if you've lived a "virtuous" life or not, you could literally do and act everything down to a true believer down to a tee, but just because you never thought there was a god or heaven, or not baptized, you get fucked over
if anything I think it's kinda bullshit from their point of view, If someone lives the life that is considered noble and good and did it with out the selfish goal of just getting in to heaven surly they are the more deserving.
WE GOT HOOKERS AND BOOZE HERE IN LEVEL 6
FUCK JESUS, WHO READY FOR THE MOST TURNT PARTY SINCE THE SECOND COMING
AYO FUCK THAT NIGGA GOD, WE GOT STROBE LIGHTS ND SHIT
One thing I've always wondered that maybe some religiousfags can answe me: what happens if you want to counsciously go to Hell so you join Satan's army? Wouldn't it be a very jewish way to escape eternal punishment? By joining his army?
>>55336597
satan used demons for his army, not dammed souls.
>>55336597
everything in the end is based on action and intention
>>55336597
What makes you think satan wants some portugees fuckboi in his dank army of the underworld
Lvl 3
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | High
Level 3 | Very High
Level 4 | Moderate
Level 5 | Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | High
Level 8 - The Malebolge | High
Level 9 - Cocytus | High
good
joining the party on level 6
>>55336440
forgot to quote you
>>55336587
Going to level 6 of Hell. I had no idea Hell had different levels.
>>55335522
>>55336317
5 here
Level 7 but seeing the results anywhere would suit me. I'm fucked if hell is like that.
At least i get minotaurs and harpies.
Nice data mine op
6th level of hell
>>55335004
>The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 5 times.
>The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Fifth Level of Hell!
Well like the wise Dante once said
FUCK YOU
>>55335004
>>55336355
My cat will see you at lvl 8
>>55336562
>>55336740
Let's find each other and band for protection in the eternal shit-creek riot that is level 5.
7th Level Master Race reporting
Okay guys the Inferno is, above all, a work of fiction.
It's literally fanfic for the bible.
The bible just talks about hell in very broad strokes and there's still time for everyone to repent or convert.
Honestly when your old you don't have much else to do besides repent and go to church anyways
>>55336440
P much this.
Level 9 here. How fucked am I?
Lvl 1 here...
Who /heretic/ here?
I got Purgatory
>>55335004
Level 1
Guess I'm not that far away from redemption, yet there's still some room for the progress.
>>55337098
Cuddling with Satan inside an ice tomb. The site description of the ninth level makes it so chill compared to the other levels.
>>55336355
I got malebolge too, bit harsh
>>55336000
Mein neger
Chilling with hot babes in hell is not a bad way to pass eternity
>>55337112
This sounds like my kind of place
We don't have to do anything really
What should I do to reach level 9 ? I given the most edgiest responses but all I got was level 7
Level 8 here.
I will go to heaven because I gave my life to Jesus Christ. You guys can also go to heaven and avoid going to hell, whether you are a lvl 1 or lvl9. Just confess you are a sinner and you guys need Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior.
>>55337574
Sounds like Firelink Shrine from Dank Souls
I guess I'm pretty bad, you guys.
>>55335004
Got level 3, who else fat fuck here?
maybe hell is just a collection of all the great things that are forbidden for christfags. It's just a huge Sauna filled with nymphomanic demon chicks and monster girls that feed you the most equisite food and you can have all the drugs you want. Or just go to the madmax part of hell and go nuts since you are dead it's not like it matters. i mean if you only go to heaven by doing nothing but boring shit and praying to some jealous asshole what makes you think heaven will be more fun.
>>55338107
Depends. If there's an afterlife all I want to do is to experience an infinite loop of ecstasy and to becoming one with the cosmos while Ode to Joy blasts through every corner of the Universe
>>55338384
isn't that gonna become extremely dull eventually? In my hypothetical hell there is at least some variety. Eternity is really long so you wanna change it up once in a while.
who level 5 here?
I did the test honestly and got Lvl 5, and then I did it again as my future self that I would become after accomplishing all my goals in life and being the person I want to be, and I got Lvl 5 again lol.
>>55335004
shit son.. 8th level
Eighth Level of Hell - The Malebolge
Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.
>>55338826
Maybe. I can imagine spending the afterlife with you guys talking about dank memes while being tortured by demons
>>55337574
this sounds awesome though
>>55335004
Puuuuuurgatory
>>55335004
Third level of hell.
I'm alright I guess.
I got limbo, and I'm totally okay with that.
However I hate questions that demand a black or white answers.
to be honest familia
well shit
it doesn't sound that bad
>>55339575
Ayeee
>>55340903
You get to go fight and rip people to pieces, all the while nude and shit, and then can go chill in a nice mud bath.
Might be nice for a century.
>>55335004
I'll share a site with many great greek philosophers in the midst of melancholy.
Oh.
>>55341905
so how does one even go without being eligible for a single floor of heck
i still feel a little guilty...
Level 5
You wrathful faggots can rip each other to bits
I'll just be depressed in the mud
Sounds a lot like 4chan actually.
I did well
>>55342094
I think in my particular case, being both depressive and stoicist might have had some weight on my results.
I really doubt how I got away with that one, you know? one would expect me to find me at level 6...
>>55337574
>>55337817
I landed here too and I'm okay with it.
>>55342184
Some say hell is already empty and all of the demons are here - or that hell and it's circles could be states of mind too.
So it'd be not only 4chan but... well, you get the idea.
Level 6 bros unite
Who /CityOfDis/ here?
See ya folks
Could be worse I guess.
Kinda surprised my heresy even let me make it that far.
Apparently I'm a super evil dick.
>>55343619
Img2
I got the 7th level of hell...
Thy pill is green newfriends.
>>55335995
Same, we must be boring as fuck.
I got 8th level, but I misread a couple things, so I did it again, and got mere 2nd.
>>55336440
Idiot I put atheist answers and I'm lvl 1
purgatory
>>55335004
>7 for heresy and violence.
Feels good to be enlisted.
>>55335004
>Would you sooner go without sex than go without good-tasting food?
>Yes
>No
>>55336440
>Level 6ers are stuck with fedoras and bagans eternally.
>>55335522
>Quadruple dubs
Heil
>>55335522
>lvl 6
glad to know I'll have some company. We can have a /pol/ meetup between fire rapes and skin boilings
>7th level
>I only answered that some people deserve to die
What the shit.
>Level 1
>get to hang out with Aristotle, Caeser, and Nietzsche under a bunch of shady trees
Honestly, that sounds a lot better than having to spend eternity trapped in some shiny glorified prison with a paranoid and notoriously brutal God watching over my every move.
>>55341905
>>55345940
>>55335004
Begone demon, thou shalt not tempt me.
Answered honestly. Until given proff, believe there isnt a god takes just as much faith as believing there is one. Im among the group that believes satan won the war of earth and thats why god isnt doing shit. Still and afterlife though.
Oh fug I'm drowning in the Styx :DDDD
>Purgatory
Bretty gud desu.
Well, I am cheating on 7 girls at once... what does this say about me?
>>55335004
I cannot say for only god can judge me. but probably level 5 or purgatory
>>55335004
Level 2 here
>>55346676
>what does this say about me?
That you're a shithead.
>>55335004
lol my name is dante
>>55335004
lvl7
r8 me m80s
>>55335004
Fuck
Any 8's around here
Scamming people is my favorite way of earning money
>>55336440
I'm a deist and I got slapped onto six
Not nearly as hard as I landed on Wrath though
First Level of Hell - Limbo
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.
>>55335004
>http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
Nevermind, I am 7
>>55347033
We'll need you to Remove Kebab... Dante also put the Saladin there for some reason.
>>55335004
level 9, get to hang out with Satan.
>tfw not level 9
I'm a failure.
>>55337574
Same here.
What the actual fuck is wrong with all of you
>>55346897
Are jews cut in eight pieces and split among the bottom eight hells
>be Catholic
>get Purgatory
>not surprised at all
>>55335004
Level 5 fuck yea
>>55335004
Purgatory
Level Who are sent there? Score
Purgatory Repending Believers Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Moderate
Level 2 Lustful Low
Level 3 Gluttonous Low
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Moderate
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Very Low
Level 7 Violent Low
Level 8 - The Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Very Low
>>55347214
i get to shitpost on philosopy dicussions and glass some lebos, what a great way to spend eternity
wew there lads
>>55347377
>implying jews are allowed in hell
jews don't have an afterlife.
Who /Limbo/ here?
I'm really not that bad of a guy /pol/.
>>55347508
jews reincarnate, that's why their burial customs instruct to not embalm and bury immediately, so the essential salts would be properly absorbed into the soil and back into the circle of life.
now those who are cremated, they truly do not have an afterlife...
>>55347377
David is in the Paradise, Moses too. And Solomon.
Tfw porn addiction but devout
>>55347613
actually, now I truly realize why the SHOAH is considered such a catastrophe by the jews... because the bodies were BURNED IN OVENS! not allowing the essential salts to absorb into the soil and ensure reincarnation. and by 6 million jews meant that 6 million possible reincarnations were lost. the actual body count was much smaller, but with all the jewish essences burned away forever...
>>55335004
Could be worse desu senpai
>>55347812
which also explains why they keep bringing it up. those poor jews
Who /lvl8/ here?
someone should've made a strawpoll to go along with this
>>55347897
yes now those jews will be able to reborn only after the essence of planet earth has withered and reassembled itself at the dawn of a new universe. jews who died in the holocaust will be reborn as alien beings, billions of years into the future.
>>55337098
Level 9 here too.
See you there brother... at least we enjoyed life
Purgatory honestly thought I would be higher but their isn't heaven
Who /Level 3/ here
neat
Purgatory. Sometimes I feel as if I don't belong on 4chan.
Limbo sounds comfy.
lol religion is trash
Game was surprisingly fun desu
Level 5. Damn, I was hoping to go all the way.
>>55335004
>Ninth Level of Hell - Cocytus
>This is the deepest level of hell, where the fallen angel Satan himself resides. His wings flap eternally, producing chilling cold winds that freeze the thick ice found in Cocytus. The three faces of Satan, black, red, and yellow, can be seen with mouths gushing bloody foam and eyes forever weeping, as they chew on the three traitors, Judas, Brutus, and Cassius. This place is furthest removed from the source of all light and warmth. Sinners here are frozen deep in the ice, faces out, eyes and mouths frozen shut. Traitors against God, country, family, and benefactors lament their sins in this frigid pit of despair.
>>55348643
>Dante's Inferno
>religion
Your education system is trash.
RIP all you nonbelievers
Do liberals still count as "fellow countrymen"? I mean I think they technically do
>>55348988
Didn't cap properly. I got Purgatory.
>>55348733
it does have nice cutscenes
http://youtu.be/xrAve2-bofg?t=1m11s
>Can you see yourself engaging in treason against your country?
Subtle.
Who /butthurt/ here?
>>55349069
>BlowMyHeadshot is online
>that timing
topkek
>>55335004
Level 2, thought I would be worse.
>>55349272
To be honest, the hurricane seems pretty bad compared to the other low levels.
2 level of hell... I guess ill be fucking cleopetra and hellen of troy for eternity then
>>55349341
>He thinks people on level 2 get to fuck
>>55349341
>cleopetra and hellen of troy
>histories loosest women
you call it fucking, i call it lobbing a sausage down a hallway.
>>55335004
Level 5
>got rare 'extreme' rating
>for greed
>>55349636
Well there's the jew.
I got purgatory, though I probably deserve a deeper level tbpqhwylrhitt
>(to be perfectly quite honest with you lads right here in this thread)
Barely escaped with Purgatory.
>>55335522
Level 2 here.
>limbo
>while saying that Religion was false
ok
>>55350076
>Virtuous Non-Believers
>Non-Believers
>>55350076
Limbo is for atheists that weren't totally shitty people.
>>55347989
A Heritic bro.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zQMJB8PSJM
What's the difference between Purgatory and Limbo?
See you all in level 6
>raised catholic, turned atheist
Not suprised
>>55350826
Purgatory you can eventually make it to Heaven (you can do deeds to get their)
Limbo is not evil but its filled with Sorrow
>>55351273
I should add Purgatory is that you have to overcome the 7 deadly sins to reach The Earthly Paradise.
Level 6 boys where you at?
>>55350826
Purgatory is a state where the soul is purged of sin to be pure for heaven. Think washing your hands before a meal -- except that the process is physically, mentally, and spiritually painful.
>>55335004
L I M B O
I
M
B
O
>We couldn't find anything on you but you chose to learn from your mistakes instead of praying to god over them so get fucked heretic
Level 6 did nothing wrong!
>>55347385
>be traditionalist
>get 7
>>55336597
this. unless satan is a retarded faggot he would want as big an army as possible. What's his motivation for not being nice to potential soldiers?
Wew lads
>>55336743
Scored a 7, my spirit animal is a Minotaur so this'll be cool.
>Everything low or very low except malebolge
I disagree, I am not doing to hell mr Dante.
>>55335004
>level 6
If I say all, do I get to pick which one?
>>55335004
It says I am one of the lucky ones and only get purgatory thanks to my virtuous ways.
>>55336290
No. Pagan beliefs are beliefs in non abrahamic religious deities. Atheism is covered by other questions
Sounds about right. I am an angry, hateful person.
That being said, I mostly don't care any more.
I'm in seven. What do I win?
>The City of Dis
It doesn't sound too bad, Satan better step his game desu senpai
Well. Scored level 8.
And I balanced out well, majority of my sins are high leveled.
CHAOTIC EVIL FTW
>>55336355
So did i. Good to have some company at least!
>>55336424
There's nothing really Christian about Inferno, it's fiction without any real theological basis. Dante's own opinions heavily color what sins are considered lower than others (he was betrayed several times in his life which led him to see treason as the highest sin, while there is little biblical or later theological basis for this).
>catholic fanfiction is real
>>55353414
I read the Penguin classics version. It was actually very detailed about the influences for his writings, and the vast majority of it was direct theological influence.
like i give a fuck about the results
wont happen to me cause i dont believe in this so called "hell"
stay pleb christians
>>55337574
My Firelink niggas
Got lvl 8 ;)
>>55335004
>Violent
I'm a pacifist
Is this because I'm gay?
I don't even want to be gay :(
Lvl 3.
Weird because I'm not gluttonous at all and I highly disagree with it.
Mine. Guess I'm pretty evil
>>55335004
Everything went better than excpected.
its really hard to not stay angry at SJWs and jews
Who /level 1/ here?
>>55337817
Literally my thought when I read the description
>>55337074
>yfw /pol/ takes over level 5 and makes it a nice place
>>55335004
Denizen of the City of Dis here
>>55347683
This so much
Also food
Seems like a good way to find all the christbros on pol
see you int the river styx faggots
All the temples of the known religions fell like sand, and vapour filled the air, for the seas were burned away…
And lava spilled forth equally across the surface of land, and mountains were engulfed into the red scorching depths beneath.
But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters, and all liars - they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.
Reaching ever higher, the flames sing as thunder and the black world is lit up by our burning desires.
>>55354348
Sup first bro wanna be solemn neighbors?
Level 8
>>55354348
We'll be alright senpai
>tfw I answered honestly and was raised Pentecostal
>>55355389
Whoops forgot to post results
/sixthlevel/
>>55337098
On a scale of 1-Jew you scored Jew.
It's over.
First Level of Hell - Limbo
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.
I didn't cheat. I'm cool with that. Aristotle is a bro.
>>55355331
What the fuck did you do to get there ? It's fucking Mohammed place there !
>>55335004
>Tfw I live life as frugally and generously as possible
>Save every drop of water I can, not for myself, but for the planet
>Legitimately save resources not for monetary value, but so there's more for others who need it more
>Legitimately believe in god and an afterlife, but I don't go to church
>Test says I'm going to be licked by flames for all eternity
Y...You too.
>>55356248
I don't go to church and I still got Purgatory. I almost got Wrath though.
I did it and I'm going to limbo.
Nothing changes.
>>55335004
I wouldn't mind this desu senpai
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eighth Level of Hell - The Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Low
Level 1 - Limbo | High
Level 2 | Low
Level 3 | Low
Level 4 | Very Low
Level 5 | Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Moderate
Level 7 | Very Low
Level 8 - The Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Low
What is it that sent me to level 8? Due to a few vague questions? That's silly. I should be in limbo.
lvl 6 here, i thought i'll be 5 or less, duh.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | High
Level 3 | Low
Level 4 | Low
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | Moderate
Level 8 - The Malebolge | Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus | High
>>55356414
That image is a modded New Vegas.
>>55335004
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very High
Level 1 - Limbo | High
Level 2 | Low
Level 3 | Low
Level 4 | Very Low
Level 5 | Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very Low
Level 7 | Low
Level 8 - The Malebolge | Low
Level 9 - Cocytus | Very Low
>>55335522
>Same
Even in hell I'm surrounded by walls
Oh C'mon ....
Limbo.
I found it very weird that the Devil's three heads are black, red, and yellow.
Why did Germany pick these exact colors in descending order?
>>55335004
Uhhh ok. I admit I'm a bit drunk but I tried to answer honestly....am i really a bad person??? How the fuck do you get level one?
>>55359325
ere is how you matched up against all the levels:
(Click on a level for more info)
Level Who are sent there? Score
Purgatory Repending Believers Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Very Low
Level 2 Lustful High
Level 3 Gluttonous High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious High
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Very High
Level 7 Violent Very High
Level 8 - The Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Extreme
>>55359325
Degenerate like most of poltard
>>55358987
Because they didn't... the german flag is black, red and gold
>>55359325
> How the fuck do you get level one?
i just answered the questions, now I get to be bros with Caesar. lvl 1 master race.
Looks like I'm stuck in Level 5 with most of 4chan, can I still be the little girl?
There's only one level of hell and that's where Dante currently resides.
Also...
>Do you eat at restaurants several times a week?
This shit is fucking retarded.
>>55335004
lvl 1 What fresh hell is this
>>55352485
> lustful can't move due to broken hips
> gluttons are so fat they can't even be rolled
> prodigal and avaricious just spend all day making uselessly soft gold swords and armor
> wrathful and gloomy, those bipolar fucks probably try to jump on their swords all day
> heretics sigh about hurting feet, about being too hot, about the thing that shouldn't exist that's whipping them, etc
> the violent immediately start fist fighting before they even get to the armory, and if they do get to the armory, they immediately start a gladatorial tournament free-for-all
> fraudulent, malicious, and pandering souls try to weasle out of their agreement somehow and do a really half-assed job
> needing to explain why THE TREACHEROUS would be a bad idea for the army of hell
>>55335004
Purgatory high
Level 1 very high
Level 8 moderate
>asks me 3 times if im gay
>yes
>all other answers were that im a good virtuous moral person
>lvl 5 of hell
homophobic, i didnt chose this
>>55335004
Level 1. Gotta be virtuous.
>>55360204
That pic is splendid.
I think Wayne got the demons a bit wrong but splendid none the less.
I don't know what this thread is about so I'm not even going to try and stay on topic.