so /pol/ i'm basically mentally retarded.
could i ever be /pol/ approved or should I just kill myself?
i'm white mtw with blonde hair and blue eyes.
>>55306401
end it
>>55306401
fight ISIS
Don't listen to those faggots. Just learn a trade, don't participate in politics and don't reproduce and you are fine in my book.
>>55306401
You're just like the rest of /pol/, then. Do you actually have down syndrome like the person in the picture or are you elsewise stupid? My cat shitposted on /pol/ once.
It even looked almost like she was trying to say hi and call you all Jews.
>>55307202
I don't plan on reproduces thankfully.
anyway i'm too retarded to get women anon but thanks for your sympathy russiabro .
>>55306401
you talk pretty for a tard
>>55307264
it's not b8 m8 and no down syndrome I have a learning difficulty and can't even do basic math
>>55307452
I can do math, but alcohol makes me so stupid I have little memory lapses, misread things, and forget what number I looked at.
>>55307151
maybe i can hero myself in the European race war
>>55307444
spell check
I'm a special kind of stupid now myself, since the parts of my brain responsible for caring about the opinions of people who aren't me have kind of been pruned, I guess. I have also deliberately trained my brain to discard things that are unpleasant and on an imageboard. Immediatelylike.
So then, while having unpleasant feelings and looking at the imageboard, I actually see one number and forget it's not the last number I looked at when drunk. It's selective, I still remember things I want to remember, but I've trained myself so that I can't be conditioned by what I've trained myself to think of as abominations unworthy of being considered as people. I've also trained my brain to release dopamine when I treat them like absolute human garbage.
Also, I was once somewhat submissively inclined, but I'm becoming more dominant (being worshipped is the most erotic thought in the world for me now, actually), and, all of the disgusting abominations who are pieces of trash who exist to be tortured aren't good enough to even get to worship me.
I think I want to spend the rest of my days grooming myself and takeing care of myself, and existing to be too good for the disgusting abominations who exist to be tortured because they think they're righteous for being horrible to me.
I have a new idea for what will be another new normal. They're not even good enough to waste space on my screen.
Other than the highly specialized memory handicap I mentioned in my previous post.. my memory is pretty good.
I don't mean to scare you, /pol/, but literally YEARS of memories of what we talked about here? Memories of your worthless opinions?
>there's nothing there, it didn't get stored, because it was trash
All I remember is one of my personalities left a note when she deleted it all saying you're pieces of trash.
>>55307865
what the fuck are you on about m8.
>>55306401
If you were mentally retarded, you could not have made that post.
It was trash because it was the opinions of trash..
>there's a huge memory blank here from years of things that were simply not stored in permanent memory
>at most, a sort of short-term memory that would last months, as opposed to forever
>unlike what I learned about computers as a teenager
>and unlike memories of my cat
>and memories of video games
>recently, though, I've noticed that if nothing important happened due to the day being spent seeing the opinions of absolute living trash who are garbage that exist to be tortured to death because they hate me..
>I seriously don't remember it the next day
>I noticed it because I bought myself a planner which I've ended up using as more of a short diary after the days pass
>I'm able to remember if something important to me happened, but
>not the opinions of the people who hate me
..I guess you 'people' aren't really very important to me..
>>55307961
I have brain problems of my own. A very selective memory. I programmed my brain to do this deliberately too. Because into the trash some opinions went.
I remember what one person thinks. That is, my beloved Adolf Hitler. He's the only person I talked to here who really matters to me. And, he tells me I'm too good to talk to you. Maybe he's right..
The day I use that planner as a planner instead of 'I forgot what I did today because it's so unimportant I don't even remember it the next day' is the day I start really living my life. Maybe I'll make that day today, because it's my birthday. Bye, /pol/.
>tfw I have very slightly off eyes, but it's not the same kind of off that downies have
>it's because I have a tiny bit of asian in me, and that effected my mom and grandma's eye shape more than mine
>>55306401
You fit in perfectly.
>>55308069
are you an ancient fag?
This day will go down as the day I've decided that trash like everyone who's mean to me isn't good enough to waste space on my screen, let alone get a response to their worthless opinion that is anything but acknowledgement of the fact that I am a genius for having a FSIQ of 130, spatial IQ of 145, pattern recognition IQ of 144, on real life wais at age 15.5, on a day where I was so sleep deprived that it can temporarily reduce performance on IQ tests by 30 points.
>tfw I am prettier than /pol/ most likely is if they're on here screeching about how much they hate women instead of getting fucked
>tfw I am smarter than /pol/
>tfw I always beat up anyone who tries to fight me IRL
The fact I'm better than these pieces of trash is nice too, because it helps me win when they're proving to me that they're pieces of garbage who exist to be tortured because they think they should be mean to me.
>tfw the boy I like, is someone who I fell in love with because
>I noticed, he's much like I
>and I was submissive to him for a long time, now he wants to be submissive towards me (so he and I will switch, how fun)
Everyone who was ever mean to me exists to be treated like trash, the disgusting abominations.
>now, if I were one of the 7 deadly sins, maybe I really would be pride
>>55308263
I'm 28 years old, and I look only half my age. You said you couldn't do basic math, so I'll tell you, I look 14.
Since I was born in 1987, I don't think I'm old enough to be called 'ancient'.
The entire reason I was born as a girl is so I can look beautiful. I like being beautiful.
>fix name
There.
lolololol
God damn, it's almost like I'm 6 years old again, except a lot smarter than I was when I was 6 years old.
Anyways, I'm going to go spend my entire day enjoying the fact that I can seriously do whatever the fuck I want now, and nobody can stop me.
Bye, /pol/.
>>55306401
I'm mildly, quasi-functional psychotic. Its the sort of thing I can only admit here anonymously. So don't feel bad.
Whats odd is that its less detrimental to my living than my habits and choices, so ponder that for a bit. In other words, you can be neurologically impaired, and it can have less negative impact on your life than your lifestyle decisions, like your diet and exercise or willingness to approach life advancement with some confidence. Those things are more harmful than literally being a bit insane.
I learned that fear of exposure keeps it in check. Its not as bad as it used to be. I dialogue, even argue with myself about things that dont exist, especially under stress. It seems to be allegorical for things actually occurring in real life.
Walking, I constantly imagine shapes and lines in different colors that seem to be some sort of guidance. I have a few ticks that I manage to hide well. I learned how to mask things young.
For example, part of my mind thinks these things make sense for the split second they exist. So if I feel I have to 'purge a nusiance demon" (without actually believing in the supernatural... anymore), to everyone else it just looks like I am clearing my throat. Or I will talk on my cell phone while it's off.
Showers are both a relief and problem. A relief because something about the enclosed monochromatic space and sound and action of running water seems to relax me, but then thats when it becomes the most animate. I used to get caught as a teen occasionally flipping switches, turning knobs or typing on keyboards that weren't there.
Those were times leading up to an ugly break I had. I managed to repair myself from about six months of utter delusion in about six more months.
But I still manage to be mostly functional. Dont despair. I have seen what is considered normal, intelligent & functional, & Im not too impressed, and think its overrated. As long as I stay away from the quack 'profession' of mental health Im ok
Waking up from pallor mortis is like free brain surgery, but all the right stuff got 'damaged' (it was the stuff that was getting pruned anyways, that is, my ability to care about what anyone but me thinks of me, that was a conditioned response anyways, they conditioned it in 4th-6th grade and then punished me for ditching it when I was 12, but now they can't punish me for not caring what anyone but me or my beloved thinks of me).
Now, this is my final good bye.
>fortunately for me, since I am also even actually a descendant of nobility who were descendants of royalty, I guess this does make me a real princess, as technically speaking as possible, though I'm only the princess of my own stuff
I like the fact that pieces of trash are tortured by the fact I know I'm a princess and I'm too good for their worthlessness that exists to be tortured, but they also aren't worthy of me applying effort to torture them, me applying any kind of effort towards them at all is too good for them, even me thinking about them is too good for them.
>>55308820
Im not sure exactly what you mean, but I hope things start looking up. In most cases, the passing of time insists they do.
And I agree, in the wrong situations, which are most, validating others negative opinions on yourself is wholly self destructive. Its something we inherit from natural childhood, and if that goes poorly, we keep doing it as adults.
>>55308950
I think I am actually responsible for pissing off some of the people I have pissed off, not everyone who has ever been mad at me is some horrible person. Yet, at the same time, it seems like they overreacted. I'm just not going to bother some of the people who now hate me, but who might not really be bad people, just annoyed with how I have conducted myself. In hindsight, I don't really blame them, though I didn't meant to upset them. I have made so many last posts, but I think I'll actually make this my actual last post. It's like, something happened to my mind, and now I'm able to finally break this weird cycle more easily than I could have before, when I wanted to stop, but just kept doing it out of habit.
>>55309151
Did read. I hope you have peace and contentment soon, free of negative tones and immersed in the beauty of simple everyday things all around us. We all deserve that, I think.
Have a great week.
