>*BOOM*
>*CRASH*
>"NO-KNOCK RAID, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!"
What do you do?
defend myself
>>43226799
>implying you can knock my door down with that thing
unless they come equipped with explosives to blow that shit away im not even gonna bother getting out of bed
>>43226799
>finish masturbating
>while keeping eye contact
>ask to hand me a towel
>>43226799
Defecate.
I get on the floor duh
Detonate c4 from my bunker
>>43226799
pay le debnts
i do the dinosaur
Get the fuck down
I'm a non white I don't want to get shot
GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND NOW
>>43226799
cry.
>>43226799 *bang* *bang*
>U Dead Little Piggie
>>43226946
>>43226946
>>43226946
walk the dinosaur
d4nk
>>43226799
Walk the dinosaur jesus guys really?
Shoot my dog before they can.
AM I BEING DETAINED?!?!
>>43227081
This
Also
Dragon dildoes, oil, thong, nipples.
"Your move mister law man"
>>43226799
Hold the trigger until it goes click.
Walk away scott free because it's 1 AM.
>>43227081
Made me laugh
>>43226799
Curl up in the fetal position, shit and piss myself while telling them how brave and heroic. Then blow each and every one of them like a true American
>>43226799
Where's the warrant?
>>43226799
1 of two things, depending on whether i'm white
If white
>Obey, get on the floor, cooperate and come out alive. Am likely not in the commision of a crime but if i am dont resist and take my sentence
>If black
>Shout at the police, refuse to get down, be generally agressive and try to escape
>Get shot dead
>Local dindu church will then complain about muh police brutality and how black lives matter
:^)
>>43226799
*unsheathes katana*
Heh, looks like it's playtime.
>>43226799
Stand there doing a helicopter dick.
>>43226799
My room has a funnel of death staircase for an entrance. The top half of the staircase has no concealment due to open-backed shelves, and said shelves prevent taking a firing position until after you've cleared the stairs.
I've got a pair of bookshelves sandwiching a steel plate that serve as cover about ten feet from the staircase should anyone attempt to break into my house. On top of it I have several hats, helmets, and head shaped objects as decoration, specifically to throw off anyone attempting to rush the room.
The pointman will be eating lead. Period. That said, I die when they throw a CS gas grenade in the room and it lights my house on fire.
>>43226799
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>43227081
kek.
Scream "I HAVE A BOMB"
And act like a clicker pen is the detonator
And watch as they panic for not knocking
>>43226799
Follow orders exactly and get shot anyway.
>>43226799
>>*BOOM*
>>*CRASH*
>>"NO-KNOCK RAID, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!"
>What do you do?
Before or after crapping on myself?
Because pretty much before I'm going to be in the act of crapping on myself, and after I'm going to be repeating "What the fuck, man? What the fuck?" over and over again.
Well since I live in America
>comply to everthing they say
>get realed later for not breaking any laws
Then
>sue the police department
>sue the officers envovled
>sue whoever justified the awe rent
>sue anyone else involved
And if I'm a minority or women I say it was becuse I'm a minority or women
Hey Officers lets not turn this rape into a murder.
>>43227926
They'd just shoot you dawg.
I don't know why you'd think that is a good idea.
>>43226932
>>43226825
>>43226799
>Yell IT'S HAPPENING while they tear my house apart
>Wait for them to leave
>Go to my cache of hidden weapons
>Join the resistance.
>>43227016
is all that shit necessary?
>>43226799
"You'll only get one shot, so you better make it count"
*cops fire*
*dodge bullets*
*unsheathe katana*
*disappear*
*reappear behind cops*
*sheathe katana*
"nothin personnel, kid"
*guns split in two*
*cops split in two*
*tip fedora*
*walk away*
Guns are for chumps, katana has infinite ammo and no reload.
>>43228238
*cops were a hologram*
Turn 360 degrees and walk away
>>43228278
*whips out BBC dildo*
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>43227370
you sound like a guy I could have a beer with
>>43226799
pay my TV licence
make them a cup of tea
>>43226799
AM I BEING DETAINED?!
AM I BEING DETAAAAINED?!
>>43226799
hands up don't shoot
Get fucking low before the bullets start flying.
>>43226799
>>*BOOM*
>>*CRASH*
>>"NO-KNOCK RAID, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!"
>What do you do?
you get on the fucking floor or end up like the Michael Browns of the world. DEAD
>>43226799
/k/ had a hilarious house layout and traps that would inflict massive PTSD to anyone executing the raid, but I can't find it right now
>>43227733
>Repressed
>"HE'S IN HERE"
>"THROWING FLASHBANG!"
What do you do?
>>43227131
this
That wouldn't knock my door down, it would be easier to come through a window than my door.
i get on the floor.
>>43226958
>>43226799
>What do you do?
"You've activated my TRAP CARD!"
>>43228899
RARE FLAG
A
R
E
F
L
A
G
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM*
>*CRASH*
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM*
>*CRASH*
>WE WILL ROCK YOU!
What do you do?
>>43229188
get blood on my face?
>>43228012
>shoot first asshole to come through the door because they didn't say police they just told me to get on the ground and if they don't identify themselves as officers of the law they fun goofed
>officer was shot in chest with my colt 1911 .45 APC so he gon die
>inform the other faggots this and that they should send for an EMT and that I won't shoot him
>EMT is scrambling to get guy who is borderline dead
>use opportunity to jump out window and kick it until I get to a friends(who didn't live that far from me
>have him take me to the garage I rent
>grab my bug out gear and go into hiding
>mfw I didn't wunna become a full blown rebel until I hit at least 40
>now I have to fight the god damn government instead of living my life carefree
Why the fuck did we let it come to this?
>>43228801
>Battery powered in-wall speakers and strobes for rave effects.
>The EDM is mixed with gunfire sound effects.
>Dozens of spring loaded and deadfall dildo traps.
>Random doorframes in walls.
>One room has a ball pit for a floor. There is a Roomba with a dome on top of it under the balls.
>Body length mirrors at random places, and behind the dummy door frames.
>Manikins in threatening / lewd posses or dressed as SWAT members.
>Picture frames have pictures of SWAT members, sourced through public records.
>>43226799
>*BOOM*
>*CRASH*
>"NO-KNOCK RAID, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!"
What do you do?
still in bed while raid happens, get shot anyways.
>isolated incident
>>43226799
Tell them where the coffee and cake is. Offer them a seat.
wrong house sir the meth heads are down the street
Use the magnets on F:\Pizza
>>43226799
After the first 75 or so gunshots we can count the dead.
most likely hit the deck and see how shit pans out.
>>43226799
AM I BEING DETAINED!? AM I FREE TO GO!? I KNOW MY RIGHTS!
>>43232197
external drive into microweave bro
>>43228190
no
cops get a hard on from playing soldier
>>43226799
>*BOOM*
>*CRASH*
>THE SOUND OF MY HEART
>THE BEAT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND
>>43228879
Wonder why I heard a pop noise, go back to party with strobe lights and music, start grinding on cops when they try to enter
>>43226799
Grab my dog and lay on the floor so they dont shoot her
>>43228190
They were looking for the terrorist villain according to the official story.
Never forget Watertown and your nations biggest martial law drill which was welcomed by Boston as heroic and clapped at seeing their homes being searched by armed police and soldiers.
I get on the ground, I've got nothing to worry about
>>43235209
Fuck you anon I listened to that 4 times at work today
AM I BEING DETAINED?
AM I FREE TO GO?
THE 4TH AMENDMENT PROTECTS AGAINST UNLAWFUL SEARCHES AND SEIZURES.
GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
>>43226799
Comply to the fullest extent possible with the hope of suing later.
