Offensive joke thread
I'll start
What's the similarity between a nigger and a bicycle.
Both require a chain to work
>>35649718
What do white women make for dinner?
>Reservations
Knock knock
Why do jewish men get circumcised? Because jewish women won't touch anything that isn't at least 20% off.
>>35649845
Who's there?
>>35649916
Why do Rabbi's perform circumcision?
Because they get to keep the tips!
What is the difference between a black man and a park bench ?
>>35649988
I dunno, anon, what IS the difference between a black man and a park bench?
>>35650036
> a park bench can support a family of 4
>>35650070
Not if they're american.
What's long and black?
The unemployment line.
A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The spic, the nigger never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.
Do you know what you never see? A Korean guy with freckles and a big hooked nose
pic related
What did the SS officer say to the black jew?
Get to the back of the oven
>>35650146
>>35650165
>>35650182
step up your game faggots
A nigger, spic, and a jew walk into a bar. They sit down and the bartender says, "get the fuck out"
What's the difference between the holocaust and a cow?
A jew can't milk a cow for 70 years
why are there so many women below the poverty line?
because they only get paid 77¢ to dollar that men do.
Whats faster then a nigger running off with your TV?
His brother with the blu-ray player.
What's black and white then red all over? The Hajj being carpet bombed
So a family of Polocks are sitting around watching tv, and the mother says to the father, "Let's tell the kids to go outside and P-L-A-Y so we can go upstairs and fuck."
>>35650296
>77¢ to dollar
>retard detected
What do you call a black guy working on a farm?
An antique
Why do all niggers run fast?
Because all the slow ones are in jail.
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
>>35650357
no, it's what do you call a bunch of niggers sitting in a barn
Why do asian chicks have small boobs?
Only A's are acceptable.
why are aspirins white?
>because blacks dont work
Why do Jews have such big noses?
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving?
A cop.
>>35650468
because air is free
Aaron's dying, the whole family gathered around him to hear out his last words.
"Sarah, my beloved wife, are you here?"
"Yes, Aaron"
"David, my beloved son, are you here?"
"Yes, Father"
"Moishe, my beloved brother, are you here?"
"Yes, Brother"
"WHEN WHO THE FUCK STAYED TO RUN THE SHOP"
Whats the difference between Batman and Black Man
Batman can go a night without Robin
What do you do if you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating in the air?
Shoot the nigger trying to steal it
>>35650409
Sorry it had been awhile since I heard that joke
what did the sexless neet say to the other neets?
offensive joke thread. ill start.
Whats the worst part about fucking a 3 year old?
Getting blood on your clown suit!!
>>35650536
is someone offended
>>35650146
the real joke goes "the mexican, the nigger had to stop half way down to write mother fucker on the wall"
What did the nigger get on his SAT?
Barbeque sauce.
>>35650409
what do you call a bunch of mexicans in a barn?
How do you get 20 jews into a car?
Throw a dollar in.
How do you get them out again?
Ask who's paying for gas.
Where does a Jew hide money from his wife?
Under the vacuum cleaner.
You better stay away from my shekels goyim.
A catholic, a pedophile and a homosexual walks into a bar. He sits down and orders the drink.
What's the difference between santa and a jew?
Santa goes down the chimney
Adolph Hitler "Spaghetti and Meatballs is necessary for the strength of the master race! Zeig Hail!"
The Jews "Oy Oy, Good Goyim, don't eat sphagetti and meatballs, just give them to me hhehehehehehe spagetti and meatballs"
Adria Richards "Sphagetti and Meatballs, that's offensive! I'm telling"
Anita Sarkeesian "Spaghetti and Meatballs is a patriarchal trope in which the phallic noodles are mixed with the testicular meat product to strengthen the male power structure over women"
Barack Obama "uhh.. ummm spaghetti and umm meatballs OY VEY!!!"
Mike Brown "muhfuggen bix nood dey dont serve no spaghetti and meatballs in hell, da devil is a punk ass cracka"
>>35650681
bahahahahaha
10/10
>>35650536
Sexless? I get more more puss than fancy feast!
The jewish dilemma:
free pork
>>35650556
What's the worst part about fucking 23 year olds?
After the first one, you're too tired to fuck the other 19
My grandfather was one of the 6 million who died in the holocaust when he slipped and fell out of the guard tower.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
You don't cum on an apple before eating it.
A friendly German, a brave Frenchman, a slim American, a unique Chinaman and an Englishman with nice teeth into a bar and a Jew says, "Drinks are on me."
>>35650688
kek
>>35649718
>>35650637
New farm equipment.
>>35649718
What's the difference between a Goy and a Jew?
The nose knows.
What's the difference between a rich Jew and a poor Jew?
Who nose?
What is the best part about fucking 26 yr olds?
> there's 20 of them
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
>>35650905
rape
>>35650905
They just scream rape until a man changes it for them.
>>35650905
Thats a trick question.
Feminists can't change anything.
>>35650905
Who needs light bulbs when you have a glass ceiling?
What do you call a Jewish dilemma?
Free ham
>>35650933
>>35650949
>>35650964
>>35650965
Fuck you NEET faggots
>>35650773
>What's the worst part about fucking 23 year olds?
>After the first one, you're too tired to fuck the other 19
Uhh
>23-1=22
Nigger detected
>>35650696
What the fuck are you talking about?
>>35650905
+ 2 000 000 who votes a feminist party into the parlament
1 who orders some men to do it.
>>35651026
twenty three year olds
any clearer now?
>>35651026
yeah nigger most certainly detected
>>35651026
>Twenty three year olds
>Twenty, three year olds
>20 - 1 = 19
No anon, you are the nigger.
>>35650773
>>35651026
The way he's trying to do it would only work if it was phrased "twenty three year olds". With the digits it doesn't work.
>>35651026
LookAtHimAndLaugh.gif
What does a black guy do after sex?
>15-20 years
>>35649718
So, I was reading the news paper and saw this article that said the Detroit police department is getting rid of all of their German Shepards....
They traded them in for coon hounds, because they figured out the germans aren't the problem.
>>35651026
3autistic5me
>>35651139
Isnt it 15 to life?
>>35651113
>damage control
>>35651113
Everyone else got it m8
>>35649718
I can't believe the judge said I was a particularly ruthless kidnapper and a disgrace to the Jewish community.
All because I added shipping and handling charges to the ransom note.
>>35651118
>>35651083
>>35651078
>>35651065
Too easy, you have been RUSED my gents, RUSED I SAY!
>>35651113
Yeah, you're right.
With the digits I just immediately identify the quantity without actually having to say "twenty three" in my mind. Didn't get it.
Q: What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill?
A: An avalanche.
Q: What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mudslide
Q: What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill?
A: A jailbreak
>>35651227
>to save money i split it up and used flat rate shipping
>>35651257
its ok every1 has their autistic moments
>>35651251
>I'm not retarded you guys, I was just pretending!
what's the similarity between niggers and christmas lights?
>Most of them don't work
>They are tied together to form a line
>They look best when hanging from a tree
>>35651251
>>35651303
Well, when you're majoring in engineering, there's a point when you see digits and you simply know the amount without having to "read" them in your mind.
>>35651399
>not being able to spreed
nigger detected
Why did Suzy fall of the swing?
>because she had no arms
>*knock knock*
Who's there?
>Not Suzy
>>35651399
my poor little STEM autist
you've just proven that not 100% of your kind are ubermenschen
>>35651399
i major in mechanical engineering and i got it
My wife tricked me into having sex with her last night.
She slept in our daughter's room.
>>35651474
>Ubermenschen
are you sure u used that correctly?
What do you call an impotent loser who complains constantly without trying to change anything?
The average /pol/ poster
>>35651459
>spreed
Wut
>>35649718
what is the difference beween a nigger and a snow tire?
A: the tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it
>>35651519
>>35651517
>anon cannot into german plurals
3 apes and a nigger in a tree, what do you call the nigger?
>branch manager.
what do you call a nigger in a 3-piece suit?
>the defendant.
what do you call a black man with a harvard degree, a nobel peace prize, and a phd in physics?
>a nigger.
>>35651523
>spreed
>speed read
>Being able to read without waiting for the little voice in your head.
How do black bitches fight crime?
Abortion.
>>35651573
>what do you call a nigger in a 3-piece suit?
kek. This negro on tv would wear a suit with a baseball cap and air jordans.
>>35651574
That's what I meant with numbers, I see them and I know the amount without actually thinking of the name of the number.
Hence why the joke didn't make sense at first glance.
>>35650531
KeK
>>35649718
what do you call a tree full of women?
a cuntree
What do you get when you dislocate a dead feminist's jaw?
Deep Throat.
>>35650681
the original goes like this ...
a rabbi, a jew and pedophile walk into a bar, he sits down and orders a maneshewitz
Why can't you play uno with a spic?
They steal all tue green cards
Six black cocks and a little white kitten are sitting on the side of the road. How many beaks have they got?
Why can't two chinks make a white babby?
Because two wongs don't make a white
Why is money green?
Because jews pick it before it's ripe
>>35650688
boo
Why do jewish women think prostitution is the best business?
You got it, you sell it, and you still got it.
>>35649960
My dick in your mouth ha! lol no. but srsly suck my cock.
>>35650430
Only joke I laughed at in this thread.
>>35650166
Stormtrooper Hans! best FB page in existance
>>35651818
Rabi is a Jew, isn't he?
>>35651896
One of the lamest joke i'v ever read
What's the difference between the Holocaust and a goat?
You can't milk a goat for 70 years.
How do you say "Fuck you" in hebrew/yiddish?
Trust me
>>35649718
>>35651026
youdumb.jpg
A nigger broke into my house last night.
Thankfully the only thing he took was one of my bullets.
>>35651026
Oh I see what you did there, you sick fiend
>23 year olds
>23 one year old infants
You glorious bastard
>>35650835
what do you call 6 million jews in an ashtray?
>>35652315
anudda shoah?
>>35651026
actually you are funny. you act like you don't understand the joke and many retards get full retard at this.
well done anon.
wait... you really didn't understand ?
>>35652315
Wishful thinking
>>35652358
a good start
>>35651667
>he can't speak in his mind
maximum kek
>>35652315
TOP FUCKING LEL
>>35652366
Ben please
>>35649718
How does a chechnyan woman fight terrorism?
>she gets an abortion
>>35652315
why the fuck do you start a joke and don't tell it until the end, you stupid fucking mouth breather?
>>35650747
>more puss than fance feast
>fancy feast
>feast
It's spelled 'yeast' moron
>>35652410
>not creaming your panties over Jahar
faggot
>>35652388
>Would buy and rub in face
what is the common point betwen Jews and Fags ?
>>both can use an ashtray as cemetary.
what is worse than a holocaust?
How many jews can you fit into a car?
Three in the back, two in the front, and none in the ash tray because the holocaust didn't happen.
>>35652554
The fact that it didnt actually happen.
>>35650905
feminists don't change anything
>>35652554
>>35652626
A: 6 million jews
>>35652074
it was actually fun.
Why do black people have white palms?
>>35652787
lack of melanin
>>35650296
Get the fuck out of here with that debunked liberal shit
>>35652787
God used spray paint
>>35652787
They were in the frisk position when god painted them.
>>35652787
because there's a little bit of good in everyone
>>35652388
dat pic, top KeK
does zadie sell these down at the deli?
difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit ?
>>35650842
new to me, +1 anon
>>35652976
the bucket smells better?
>>35652976
The bucket can be cleaned and serve a good purpose.
>>35650536
what is the difference between a jew and a canoe?
>>35653081
The canoe tips.
>>35652998
>>35653060
A: the bucket.
Mexico doesn't have an Olympic team... because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border.'
How many Spanish does it take to change a light bulb?
Juan.
sorry dont know any good jokes :(
How many jews can you fit in a sedan?
2 in the front, 3 in the back, and none in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened.
>>35653081
there is a possibility that the canoe could tip
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
[spoiler]nothing you already told her twice[/spoiler]
>>35653081
>>35653103
ohhohohohohohololololololelelekekek
>>35652388
Isn't this the shit Ben Garrison puts in his coffee every morning to give him Aryan superpowers?
>>35650637
What do you call a shovel?
A mexican backhoe.
Why do Asian people who slitty eyes?
They're still squinting from the bast
>>35653519
have slitty eyes
What do you call a goy that really likes electricity?
Why do jews dislike the 69 position?
Too close to the gas chamber.
>>35653363
He would never fall for such an obvious jewish scam,
he doesn't need fake ash, how do you think he disposes of all the bodies?
Two white guys, let's call them Eric and John, meet at Eric's house to relax and talk about stuff. Sitting on the couch, John takes a look out the window and sees a nigger breaking into a parked car.
John to Eric: "H-Hey, man, look, isn't that yours?!"
Eric checks and shakes his head: "No, don't worry, mine is mowing the lawn."
What's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a ferrari in my garage
>>35649718
What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al-Qaeda training camp?
I don't know, i only fly the drones!
What's the best camp in history?
Auschwitz, it had over a million stars.
How did copper wire get invented?
A penny was tossed in the middle of two rabbis.
How do you force a rabbi and a priest to fight each other to death?
Put a nickel in a little boy's pants.
How long does it take for a black female to take a shit? Nine months.
>>35653884
I kek'd
>>35650835
>implying I don't
A Priest & a Rabbi were walking down the street when a kid passed.
The Priest said:
"Let's screw this kid."
The Rabbi replied:
"Out of what?"
How long does it take for a nigger woman to take out the trash?
Nine months
How many dead niggers does it take to start a riot?
-1
A variation on a classic:
A man and wife are walking down the street and a nigger comes in his car and pulls his gat on the guy. He says, "I'm going to rape your wife, but the ground is quite dusty, so you must hold my testicles as I do it." So he rapes his wife and gets in his car to leave.
The husband starts laughing, so the wife asks, "What's so funny? I've just been raped!" But the husband stops laughing, because now the nigger's mugging him.
>>35653519
>>35653572
I hope that you're just on a mobile.
>>35650296
suck my dick you fucking lebral fagot lel
>>35649774
Why do white men pay for black people's dinner?
>Reparations
>>35654691
Faggot.
That means you need a live nigger.
It's "How many niggers does it take..."
>what do you call a nigger with half a brain?
>lucky
Why nigger the nigger crossed the nigger?
To nigger the other nigger.
>>35651065
What's black and doesn't work?
>Steve Jobs' pancreas.
They say there's safety in numbers;tell that to 6 million jews.
>>35650036
> what's the difference between a Large Pizza and a Black Man?
A large pizza can feed a family of 4
>>35650036
> what's the difference between a Large Pizza and a Black Man?
A large pizza can feed a family of 4
>>35656386
>>35656409
samefag
three faggots are fucking this baby in the ass
and the kid turns around and says "no, I said GOO GOO, because I'm a baby and I can't speak, not because I wanted your goo."
so one of the faggots jams his cock in the kids mouth
Why did the far left want don't ask don't tell revoked?
[spoiler] They wanted to see equality in child-raping mass-murdering pawns of big oil [/spoiler]
>>35649718
How many jews can you fit into a wolkswagen?
1 in the driver's seat, 1 in the passenger's seat, 2 in the back seat and 0 in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened.
I saw a nigger running on the street with a TV.
'Is that mine?', I thought. Then I realised mine was at home...picking cotton.
Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?
Because he was also dead
Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?
Peer Pressure
Why did the -insert ethnic group you think is stupid- fall out of the tree?
Because he tied himself to a dying koala
>>35656758
>>35653163
Hey, the holocaust never happened...
But that doesn't mean we can't incinerate jews to put them in ashtrays.
A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"
The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."
The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
>>35649718
Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That's not funny
> what's the best way to get a Jewish girls number?
Roll up her sleeve
Guy walks into a bar. Bartender is black. Guy yells: "Hey nigger, give me a beer!"
Bartender says "Hey man, how would you like it if you were a bartender and a customer called you a honkey?"
Guy says "I dunno, it never happened to me."
Bartender says: "Ok, you get behind the bar then. I'll come in and pretend to be the customer. Then you'll know how it feels..."
Guy says "Ok" and gets behind the counter. Meanwhile the bartender walks outside.
A few seconds later the bartender walks inside again. He yells to the guy "Hey honkey, give me a beer!"
Guy says: "Sorry, we don't serve niggers in here."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34
>>35657032
A nigger, a spic, a paki and a gypsy are riding a van, who is driving?
The police.
> what did the Jewish paedophile say to the 9 year old boy?
"Want to buy some candy?"
How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A Jew dropped a penny into the hole at a golf course.
>>35656758
They're so high their subtitles are in gibberish.
>>35653604
>how do you think he disposes of all the bodies?
Who do you think sells that stuff, dumbass.
A priest and a rabbi drive by an elementary school. The priest says "Let's fuck 'em!"
The rabbi asks "Out of what?"
>How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
they just beat the room for being black
How do you get a faggot to fuck a bitch?
Shit in her cunt.
Did you hear about the black guy who went to university?
>No
Neither did I!
A baby seal went into a club
>ouch
Feminism.
>Hey have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
>Yeah, neither have they
What's the difference between a steel belted tire and a black man?
When you slap chains on the tires, it doesn't sing the blues.
So a nigger in Monrovia walks outside & gets a stuffy nose, since he has a pollen allergy.
When he arrived downtown, he was immediately burned by the stake.
What do you call an 80 year old black man?
>>35650342
i don't get it
>>35659096
Antique farming equipment
>>35657266
Okay, that was a good one.
A spaniard, a brit, a yank, a chink, a nip, a nigger, a gook, a paki, an indian, a frog, a kraut, a beaner and a polak go to a bar.
The bouncer says "Sorry lads, can't let you in without a thai".
>>35650688
Top kek
>>35651035
Racist jokes
>>35651621
hmm...
>>35650884
What's the diference between a rich and a poor? Who nose?
How do you stop a black guy from jumping on the bed?
Put Velcro on the ceiling
>>35650696
quallity
>>35651474
>engineering
>STeM
nope
Science, TEchnology, Mathematics
A man comes home from work late one day and his car is absolutely wrecked. His wife asked how it happened. "I ran over a black man on the way home", he says. Stunned, the wife inquires as to how one man could do so much damage to the car. The man replies "I had to go through three fields before I finally mowed him down"
>>35650905
200,000 tweets, hashtag wars, and tumblr reblogs.
>>35650342
lol
>>35659116
she spelled out play as opposed to F-U-C-K
>>35650357
>>35650409
Antique farm equipment
>>35654694
this doesn't make any sense, did you translate it?
>>35656409
>whats the difference between a black man and a pizza?
>your mom isnt fucking the pizza.
she fucks the crazy bread instead LOL
>>35652315
Benny Boy is at it again
>>35657463
From my experience with Russians I believe they're about to gank the enemy spawn laser.
>>35653111
Holy shit i havnt heard that one since elementary school
NIGGERS
Little girl: Daddy, what happens when a white baby dies?
>Dad: it grows wings and becomes an angle
Little girl: Daddy, what happens then when a black baby dies?
>Dad: it grows wings and becomes a fly
>>35661204
*angel
>>35649718
What is the easiest way to circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
>>35661204
It's bat you moron
Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
An arab and a jew go to the groceries. The arab steals a snicker bar, puts it in his pocket and says to the jew : "I challenge you to do any better!"
The jew accepts the challenge and tells the cashier : "Hey goyim, I'll show you a magic trick, ya? Give me a snicker bar please"
The cashier accepts and the jew eats the whole bar in front of her, looking at her deep in the eyes. She asks "So, what's the trick?"
The jew says : "Look in the arab's pocket!"
>>35661679
10/10
who are the fastest readers in the world?
new yorkers - 110 stories in less than 30 seconds!
>>35657046
>>35657349
that one doesn't even make sense
>>35650515
kek
