A neighbor a short distance away has a huge-ass ugly, UGLY tree on their property. It's the one thing really wrecking the skyline where I live, and this tree turns out to be the reason who 110$/month internet is going a third the speed it should. These neighbors have trashed their property, are genuinely unpleasant people to live near, and people in the area suspect them of being the fuckers that bash mailboxes once every other year. How do I kill this tree? The property has no dog, so going straight up to the tree is an option. They have the absolute worst yard I've seen to the point that for a long time until I actually saw someone coming out of the house when I drove by it, I had thought it was abandoned or sanctioned off, wouldn't surprise me if there's something illegal or shady going on in there. I dont want to necessarily cut the tree down, I just want to kill it. I hear drilling a hole, and filling with salt towards the trunk can work.
What do?
Even poisoning the tree will just result in a big ugly dead tree that will take decades to rot.
Fire is your best bet.
>select all images with trees
>>700100
It'll be a big ugly dead tree that I can offer to cut down for firewood for cheap if not free at that point. The tree has to go.
>>700102
If they're lazy, retarded cunts, what makes you think they'll bother to take down the tree?
And if you murder their tree and then offer to cut it down, don't you think they'll suspect you?
No, what you need to do is invest in some iron oxide and aluminum powder.
>>700099
Assuming that its winter where you are, now is the time to strike. The tree "not surviving winter" looks a whole lot less suspicious than the green tree turning brown and dropping its leaves in June.
Just pull it down in a clandestine midnight operating fedora wearing mission the next time you have a violent storm in the area. Easy.
>>700103
I would say the tree is no more than 20 feet from the house itself and could easily fall on the house itself. It's not a particularly thick tree thick tree but it isn't a twig either. Is there a way to ensure it will fall in another direction? Blowing up a tree sounds kinda awesome desu.
>>700107
It's spring but the tree is a puke brownish-green year round.
Upon googling a certain kind of tree based off of what I remembered, I'm 99.9% sure it's a type of gum tree.
>>700111
Well, my thinking was, you make thermite.
What thermite is, in a nutshell, is mixing two different kind of powdered metals, so that one of them provides the oxygen for the other to burn.
This produces a temperature of about 2000 Celsius.
I was thinking if you put a couple pounds of this in a freezer bag at the base of the tree, that would be enough to destroy its structural integrity and cause it to collapse.
If it's within crushing distance of their house, it probably wouldn't be a good idea.
I mean, using an incendiary device to destroy property is like a 25 year maximum federal sentence, but it's not illegal if you don't get caught.
>>700111
i know what you should do
go pay them 200 bucks, and cut their tree down
shouldn't be a problem for you
>>700099
How is the tree affecting the internet speed?
>>700123
This was my first thought until I remembered the odds are high these assholes have gone mailbox-smashing down my street before and they're godawful neighbors/people. I'm debating paying someone to bring down the tree for me but honestly I'd rather just do it myself. Fuck these people, seriously.
>>700125
I live in the middle of nowhere and recently got on a new internet carrier, the only tower I can get on is directly blocked by this fugly-ass tree so I'm getting about a third the speed I should be getting. This damn tree has always been the ugliest thing on the horizon in any direction.
>>700125
Yea. How?
>>700130
fuck it, you wanna bitch about it go handle it
you've got money for a reason, to make your life easier
pay the shitheads off, cut the tree down and be done with it
>OP wants to cut down a tree that's probably twice his age, at least, because he thinks its ugly and spends too much dosh on his internet services
Ur gay
>>700144
Eucalyptus trees are ugly, this is a fact. If the neighbors were cool people I wouldnt even think of doing this but the fact they're shitheads that drive the property value of people around them down makes me want to bring the tree down. It is the only one on the property, too.
>>700151
See, now I'm starting to think that you need a plan to kill your neighbors, not the tree.
>>700099
>OP pays neighbor to remove tree
>internet is still 110$/month and 1/3 speed
>>700152
I moved out here to the middle of nowhere to get away from the type of person in the city that blares music into the wee hours of the night and acts like general assholes. It was good for a while until they moved in, thrashed the house they're living at, and started acting like such asswipes that the nice old couple next to them actually sold their own property to get away. Where I live summers reach 100+ degrees every day and the point of that tree is to shade the house from what it looks like. Yeah, I could get new internet, but these people are nightmare neighbors and if they lived any closer to me, I'd of probably moved too. The house looks old and I dont see any signs of modern air conditioning on it.
>>700161
So what I'm getting is that you need to learn to pick locks, come into their house in the middle of the night, and murder them both with a suppressed firearm.
That or move again.
>>700163
Honestly, I live in a really shady town with an actual mafia dominating the city streets at night to the point you dont see people out at night past a certain time. You could probably hire a killer around here for less than it costs to get a used car, but that's the city itself and out in the country isn't so bad as long as you aren't in areas known for abandoned places where tweakers set up meth labs. Only reason I live around here is because of friends and I like seeing a relative that has a form of blood cancer. Soon as one pal is ready to move with me and the relative passes I'm outta here.
>>700172
Couldn't you just hire some goons to rough them up?
>>700172
where the fuck is that
>>700099
>asking for advice on how to trespass and destroy your neighbor's property
>still thinking they're the "shitty neighbors"
>>700252
This right here.
He sounds like a bigger shitbag than the neighbors. Time to take a long look in the mirror OP.
>>700100
dead tree does not stop microwaves nearly as much as a live one tho.
>>700099
there is a pretty easy solution for your problem,
find the tower you get the net from, move your parabola to a direct line of sight position.
get 100% of your possible transfer speed in good weather.
>>700154
kek'd
>>700154
OP gets caught poking around what turns out to be a meth lab, gets shot and dies at the foot of the ugly tree, haunts the spot for the next 60 years until the tree falls naturally. His unfinished business accomplished, he then wanders aimlessly on the featureless plain of limbo for the rest of eternity.
>>700505
Oh shut up with your nonsense. Go troll somewhere else. We all know that killing the tree is the only logical solution.
>>700669
i'm not avers to killing trees don't misunderstand me.
it's just that moving the receiver antennae is much easier and way way faster.
>>700099
Tie a piece of string to a doorknob, tie it to the tree and slam the door.
>>700130
Sounds more like you're the resident asshole in this neighborhood. I hope they catch you and fuck your shit up and send you to jail on top of that.
>>700099
Leave them alone, grow up, get a land line like an adult
>>700099
Like, if you are actually considering damaging their property than you actually need real mental health. Also sounds like you don't have a job. Get a job, and therapy.
>>701286
OP's shitty neighbor pls leave.
Okay here what you do. Get stump remover, like a LOT. PREFERABLY the potassium nitrate type. Near the base of the tree, at night, rip some of that bark off. Take a pick r something and rip up the wood. Just take your anger out (quietly). Then take the stump remover and coat that shit. Try to get it everywhere. Fuck, drill holes and seal them with that shit. The tree won't be too healthy in a week.
You could try dumping chemicals on it. It sounds like their proprety is a shit hole already so I'm sure dead grass isn't a huge concern. Go buy some muriatic acid and dump it on the tree. That shit fucking dissolves plant material, I used to use it to clean horseshoes and after a day all the shit, grass, and hay were gone. Like there were only rocks left in the dark sludge-y water kinda gone
