Hypothetical: The Sperg
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You are currently reading a thread in /o/ - Auto
You are with your girlfriend/wife/crush/oneitis/whatever in a carpark and this guy comes up and slaps her ass. Overwhelmed by his bold approach and autism you find yourself stunned, overcome with an onset of crippling Assburgers, watching helplessly as he walks to a dirty old white Crown Vic. He puts a rag under his foot and poses and challenges you to a race.
Now this isn’t just some regular old Crown Vic, it’s a goddamn second gen P71. Police. Fucking. Interceptor. Built to leap kerbsides and chase down the bad guy, the Sperg has gone a step further and equipped his Autismobarge with an oil slick, smokescreen, blinding lights and genuine Aussie FPV badging for an additional 50 horsepower. Under the hood he’s also packing the 7.0l V12 out of an Aston Martin Vulcan, albeit nigrigged in and stuck farting through stock exhaust. He’s still making six hundred and sixty six horses at the rear wheels.
But it gets worse. He’s just chloroformed the bitch and stuffed her in the spacious back seat now he’s driven up to the exit, popped the P71 into neutral and started revving it hard so people think he’s in a manual car.
You are standing next to your shitbox. You have $10,000USD to blow on it, which will be magically installed as soon as you hop in to chase the Sperg down. If you are a nocar you have an additional $5,000USD to spend on a shitbox; it can only be spent on the shitbox though, so any leftover vanishes. As soon as you get in he takes off and the race is on.
First you’ll have to chase him down a straight road which ends in a sharp turn and leads into a nigger neighbourhood full of twisty roads and roadblocks and burning piles of rubble. Once you’re out of Coontown it’s onto the toegay where halfway down the Sperg will proceed to look at his GPS instead of the road and crash into an embankment. If you aren’t tailing him he’ll be able to get out unharmed, take your qt and escape with her so you’ve got to be on his ass by the end or you're made into a literal cuck.
What is your shitbox and what have you done to it?
A Chevy Chevette with a LS1 swap and cambered wheels. With how lightweight i'd be, i'd be on his tail through the entire chase. He would die from uncontrollable laughter however, because an autist cannot imagine a Chevette with an LS1 swap. I know that for a fact because I am one. I'd rescue my cutie then we'd probably die a mile down the road from the chevette inploding, but hey, such is life. Live by tbe pedal, die by the pedal
>>14780471
miata with a Speed 6. nothing like 900kgs with 400hp n/a
fuck it im going back to england to get a pint, smoke a couple fags and fuck some skets begind the bikesheds.
>>14780471
A motorcycle.
>>14780574
This, to be honest, shaking my head, famiglia.
A motorcycle with a shotgun strapped to it. I THINK I can get away with 2 years for manslaughter if I could just get the judge to consider his death a "justified homicide". I mean, he literally kidnapped my girl and implied he was going to rape her, so I think I would have a lot of legal leeway there, insofar as the consequences would go.
Besides my motorcycle because I'm not a cheating faggot, I would buy cams, an On3 turbo and an X pipe. That would be about 5 right there. Then for some serious hektic power I would get a CAI, and a sweet Boss 302 intake mani, and a dope nasty carbon scoop hood with a 6 inch height. Then with the remaining 2000ish I would buy some hookers and blow.
S197 btw
Ausfag with Turbo falcon. 10k US buys bigger turbo, fuel system upgrade, tune, and bullbar. Will see me to 600RWHP no problem. Already shits on crown vic for suspension and brakes. Should be able to smash him off the road laugh at his girly arms trying to open his door.
A Hayabusa and a gun
>>14780468
I spend the 10k on sick mods, let him have the waifu and go speed around with my friends
Welp, it's time.
Cellphone to call the real cops on the pretend cop.
>>14784316
>This engine would die.
