You're sat at some stop lights, Jay Leno pulls up beside you and rolls his window down
>I gotta say, your engine doesn't sound very bulletproof
How do you respond?
I remind him that since I drive a tesla that it's a "motor" not an "engine" and then my wife calls me and tells me the bull has arrived and they'll start without me if I'm late
>>14517757
I tell him he's wrong.
>>14517757
Pull out gun, shoot his radiator.
I drive a vw, I know.
i tell him to do a burnout
>>14517757
>Can i get a job working for you please?
>Thanks for single handedly ruining late night tv twice, Ugly
>WAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Can I have your autograph Mr. Letterman?
>>14517757
>How do you respond?
opininons are like assholes jay, take care of those baby bottom smooth hands for me big boy.
I'd ask him how his engine's running, y'know the old ticker? Dude's getting pretty old, he should probably be getting checkups to make sure he doesn't have a heart attack and die.
>Your engine doesn't sound very bulletproof.
But your chin is, Mr Leno.
>>14517757
>tfw he's right
I would draw my Colt and shoot my engine and his.
Carson thought you were a shithead, Jay.
>>14517757
>Crown Victoria
Dumbfounded.
goodbye leno
goodbye oj simpson
goodbye garfield
goodbye LA lights
>>14517757
Look at him then hang my head in shame as the valve tick from my 6L overpowers the sound of both of our engines.
>>14517757
It's got 215k miles on it and it's an AMC 4.0, Jay. This is the definition of a bulletproof engine!
>then attempt to do a burnout to escape but forget I don't have the power to do one
>>14517757
I don't own a car, so he'd be pulling up to my bicycle.
>>14517757
"the bottom end is good for 7500rpm +, but the stock economy minded cams stop making power at 6200rpm. I'll be fine."
>>14517757
>put my foot on the brake
>rev it to redline
>RMS blows
>Spew hot oil all over jay leno
WHO'S THE FAGGOT NOW!?!
>>14517757
I'd call him an idiot because I'm driving a car with one of the most used and reliable Lexus engines.
>roll down my window
>lean out
>"ford 300, more reliable than you, pal"
>>14517757
I'm sorry to disappoint you
>>14517776
He's Jay Fucking Leno faggot. You're fucking nobody.
![1950_monarch_indian_chief_restored_new_50cc_engine_2000_sarasota_near_siesta_key_6780015441815959314[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/wnAHg4l.jpg "1950_monarch_indian_chief_restored_new_50cc_engine_2000_sarasota_near_siesta_key_6780015441815959314[1].jpg")
>>14517757
>take out my engine and throw it into his car
>pull out my tommy gun and shoot at him
>I shoot at his car, at Jay Leno, at my engine
>everything is fucking holes
>When I am out of ammo I pull out my engine, *unsheathe my shiteating grin and whisper "whos not buletproof now you fat pos"
>as I mount my engine back I hear a faint voice "didnt hit me, didnt hit me, nyanya nyanya"
>I turn around and I see his chin taunting me
>quite honestly I forgot what the moral of the story was but at least... I actually forgot what that point supposed to be as well.
>>14517757
Trust me, it is. Hey, are you looking for any full time caretakers for your garage?
>>14517757
W-well Mr. Leno, that's because I've got stock internals and I'm abusing them with 18psi of boost. Can you feature me on your show maybe? Please?
"Who the fuck are you?"
>Oh yeah? Why is that?
>>14518438
Thank you for that. I had a good chuckle.
>>14518551
>he does that Tarzan scream he sometimes does
>waves his hands wildly in the air
>floors it
>slams head on into a semi and explodes
>turns out Leno was bulletproof
>just not truck-proof
HOLY FUCK JAY LENO CAN I BE ON YOUR SHOW
>4.3
It's fairly bulletproof.
>>14517757
Says the guy wearing a canadian tuxedo.
>>14517757
>"Look at that, it's Jay Leno! If you aren't in a hurry, I'd love to buy you a coffee and talk shop for a few minutes. Big fan of your show."
He's making conversation, you fucking autismos.
I have it on good authority that Jay is a complete shitbag in real life.
I was really bummed when I heard it, too, but the source I heard it from is one who would absolutely know, and who I trust 100% not to make shit like that up. It's a shame because I really liked Jay's videos until then.
>>14519693
Thats no surprise.
I admire your automotive passion and collection but the world needed Fallon a long time ago
>>14519128
This
t-thank you mr leno
Thank you sir, may I have another?
>>14517757
>Say nothing
>Follow him back to his secluded garage
>Run inside
>Grope his million dollar cars as he tries to pry me off of them
>Eventually gets fed up and calls police
>They spend ten minutes pulling me out of the Gullwing
>Eight month stint in county
>Restraining order
Worth
id probably suck his dick
no homo tho
>>14520057
You forgot
>Punch Bernard in his stupid Swiss face
>>14517757
"Who are you? An where can I read the research on acoustic assessment of engine reliability?"
>>14517767
Oh dear
http://www.zytekautomotive.co.uk/products/electric-engines/
>>14518581
>he worships celebrities this hard
holy fuck you mindless sheep
>>14518581
I was unaware somebody famous saying an engine was reliable or not was all there was to it.
>>14517757
>200k between timing chain change
>45 mpg at 80mph
>revs to 7.3k
>dohc bucket on shim
>not bulletproof
kek
Seriously no one yet
>>I gotta say, your engine doesn't sound very bulletproof.
>Haha, well anything bigger than a .45 will definitely kill it
Oh yeah
>inb4 some /k/ommando details the thread with reasons why different sized bullets would or wouldn't kill an engine
It's a fucking joke, faggots
>>14517757
Yeah, I'm thinking of trading her in for a BMP or T-72. Better red than dead!
>>14517757
That's because it would probably not survive a bullet, good sir.
It is, however, good for doing 100rwkw more than it currently makes with another 1,000rpm.
>>14517757
neither does your forehead, faggot.
>>14520426
45 has the stopping power, but the 9mm would have more >clip capacity, allowing you to have more shots into the block
>>14520489
I knew it was coming
>>14520489
>9mm
>Iron block
Nah go fuck yourself
>>14520489
Even a .22 would do it. Because once it enters the engine block it would bounce around inside it like a pinball while doing alot of damage.
>>14520489
>Arguing about pleb calibers
>Not using based 5.7x28
>20-sixteen
>>14520489
its about the speed and mass you retard
>>14517757
> Neither does yours, mate. How old is that thing?
It's a Honda.. Pretty sure I'm good
>>14519128
>>14519879
>
jay leno is a bully
>>14519693
Really? I've talked to him several times on the snake and he's always awesome. Told him my dad was looking at a Volt and he asked me questions about it for like 10 minutes, then told me he thought it would be a great choice. Even recommended a dealer.
>>14519693
Having met and talked to him at various automotive events I find that hard to believe. He is a good customer to the company I work for.
>>14517757
This is false, Jay knows my engine is bulletproof
>>14520489
>>9mm would have clip capacity
>>14518544
ls400?
