>be me
>be 6 hours ago
>get phone call from missus
>oldest son needs to go to hospital URGENTLY
>leave work
>drive home
>live on quietish street
>2 houses before on right
>approach junction
>VW Polo stopped at junction half over white lines
>flash female driver out
>nope
>flash her again
>NOPE
>roll to standstill and lash her again
>NOPE
>realise her and older female passenger hving "heated discussion" (arguing like fuck)
>lol ok
>drive round her and try U turn
>cant complete U turn
>road too narrow(usually i use the whole junction)
>my car now 80 degrees to hers
>i can see in through her rear window
>both women turn to stare at me
>i try reverse
>nope, it pops out
>engine revs a bit
>driver opens her door
>"is there some fuckin emergency?"
>cant open my door
>too close to her rear bumer
>roll down window
>"yes i need to get my son to hospital so move your car"
>do the "look at gear stick and mind will it to go into reverse this time"
>it works
>i look out rear window to reverse
>reverse complete i look to the front
>sh's out her car
>shes in front of mines now
>smart phone in hand
cont?
>>13827447
Sure, go on.
>>13827447
I need to hear how this ends
>do the "look at gear stick and mind will it to go into reverse this time"
What the fuck?
>i see the phone
>"shit , she's taking a fuckin video"
>bollox this is going onto FB or youtube
>clear my mind
>tell myself" you will not swear, you will not make a fool of yourself on social media
>i now have space to open my door
>i stay my side of my door
> "look my son is ill, i need to get him to hospital
>please get in your car and move it out the way"
>NOPE
>"you want the car moved then do it yourself"
>she trows the keys at me
>they hit my chest , bounce and fall into side pocket on door
>>13827478
>tfw reverse isn't synchronized and it never goes in gear
bad feels anon
>>13827478
is manuel
>in a daze i reach for her keys
>i head towards her car
>drivers door is open
>i lean in
>SCREAMS, SCREAMS ERRYFUCKINWHERE
>her young daughter is in a kiddy seat in theback
>i nope the fuck out, close the door
>toss keys onto lawn across the road
>get back into my car
>complete manouver around the Polo
>black Fiat 500 hoons round the junction cutting the corner
>i brake
>Fiat brakes
>i motion Fiat driver (woman) to reverse
>she does so
>i drive round the Fiat
>notice older woman, dark hair no other occupants
>give her a "look i;m orry " wave
>complete the next 20 yards with no other events
>go into house
>sons stoma has prolapsed
>shit smell errywhere
>poor guy is embarassed as fuck (13 yr old)
>carry him to car
>put him on pasenger seat
> hear Polo driver and Fiat driver having loud convo
> " oh yes i would deffinetly phone the police"
>shout " in that case you'll need my name and address"
>its thatoldbastard and i live in that house there number XX
>drive to Glasgow in record time
>get son sorted
>drive home
>in house 20 minutes
>doorbell goes
>is police
> hello , i've been kinda expecting you
> we're here to charge you with the following
>DRIVING WITHOUT DUE CARE AND ATTENTION
>BREACH OF THE PEACE
>THEFT
police then tell me i was first out of my car, i was in her face, i ook her keys from the ignition and threw them away. fiat driver says i zoomed out of nowhere and nearly killed her and NOW she has a passenger who is going witness. police inform me that she did not in fact take video footage but photographs "which do not paint you in a good light mate"
the photos show me behind the wheel from in front of my car, ergo she was out er car before me, the rest i'm kinda getting stitched up on.
CUUUUUUNNNNNNTTTTSSSSS
wew
get a doctors certificate love
>>13827482
>>13827516
>taking her keys
>getting into her car
You fucked up, mate.
>>13827561
Open the door, get on the floor...
>>13827651
I don't blame him but that's fundamentally why he might be fucked. Sorry OP. You should see if you can find anyone to speak on your side like a neighbour or something.
God, I fucking hate women
>>13827651
she threw the keys at me, and yeah i shouldn't have taken them
i didnt actually go into her car, but as near as damn it, the kid freaking out change my mind
>>13827652
me? walk the dinosaur? you must be new here m8
>this entire thread
Wow British people are pathetic. If someone refused to stop blocking an intersection while I was trying to take a family member to the hospital their car would be in the nearest tree and they'd be waiting for their own ambulance.
>Glasgow
Why didn't you just gouge her eyes out with glass?
So how is your sons anus?
>England
not even surprised
I'm 95% sure OP considers his failed abortion coughing once an emergency
>>13827721
which part of stoma do you not understand , retard?
>>13827704
yeah and no, i was only 20 yards from home and actually didnt want to escilate the situation
>>13827706
polo driver lives 2 streets away, there will be shinanigans, i will post pics
>>13827734
OI CUNT.....IZ SCOTLAND
>>13827742
that boy has been through more than most war vets
>>13827752
The stoma part. Is that some weird English disease resulting from mal nutrition or something?
>>13827478
>>13827516
All you have to do is pop it in first quick, works every time for me.
>2015
>not having a dashcam
>>13827761
no, he was born with Necrotising Entrocolitis (NEC).
he had 75% of his large intestine , 25% of his small intestine and an abcess the size of a golf ball removed, died twice on the oprating theatre table and resussed all before he was a week old.
the stoma is where his small intestine ends, and although he does in fact have an anus it does nothing at all.
>>13827766
yeah , its an old pil of shit focus, the gearbox does what it likes.
>>13827812
oh believe me a dashcam is on this weeks shopping list
>>13827837
>oh believe me a dashcam is on this weeks shopping list
along with a lawyer and a gun to get rid of the bitch?
>>13827597
Jesus soctland sounds like it's chock full of cunts
>>13827847
S>>13827847
cotland so lol no guns, but i've been in the attic and looked out my longbow and my crossbow, i think i'll use the bitches car for targe practice. bows dont leave tell tale ballistics markings on their ammo
>>13827872
it is, some are good cunts, some are awrite cunts, others are just cunts
>scottish
So you talk like someone with a mouth full of marbles... but why do you TYPE like a retarded person as well?
>>13827447
>oldest son needs to go to hospital URGENTLY
So why the fuck didn't your retard wife call an ambulance. That's what they're fucking for. Taking people in need of urgent care to the hospital.
>>13827885
i type the way i do because when i was at school the only guys who knew how to type where also the ones looking at your arse in the showers. this was long before computers and t'interwebs. hence "thatoldbastard" i iz old
>>13827895
>wimmen
Also
>relying on scotbong ambulances
They probably have better ambulance service in detroit
>>13827895
very good question
heres why, we live 30 miles south of Glasgow, the nearest hospital is 11 miles away, but its not much more than a butchers shop. the nearest Childrens Hospital is in Glasgow, an amberlamps would have taken him to the nearest hospital which is not geared up for kids with is condition.
would you take a brand new Aston Marten to the authorised dealer or some grease monkey round the corner?
>>13827933
Yet you couldn't even manage to do it either without stealing a car.
So that's what it feels like to be a kek.
>>13827933
Also your analogy sucks ass. If your Aston Marten breaks down you can let it sit a few weeks until you can get an appointment with a specialist. Not to mention you bringing your kid to the hospital is like having your own flatbed on standby for your fancy Aston Marten example.
>>13827954
no, i've been charged with "theft of car keys"
besides under Scots law theft is a two part crime( i just looked it up) one must obtain an object through illegal means with the INTENT of depriving the owner of said object.
she threw them at me, ergo i obtained them legally
i threw them onto a lawn, not over a wall or a hedge, they were in plain sight erho i did not deprive her of said object.
fuck i love living under Scottish law
>>13827991
look , its been a long and dificult night, gimme a fuckin break, you know exactly what i mean
>>13827997
Just get a lawyer.
>>13828017
oh i will, i've got an appointment for tuesday afternoon
rest in piece
>>13828025
This is why I'm a misanthrope. People fucking suck.
Some dumb cunt decides to be a cunt for no good reason at all, and is 100% completely in the wrong, no questions, and now it's going to cost you time, money and stress.
It's also why I have a misanthrope's best friend; a law degree. Try and pull some bullshit like this on me, cunts of the world, I dare you. I'll get my just deserts.
>>13828223
yeah you're no better
>>13828294
I'm not a cunt to people for no reason. I have standards. I hate people though and will fuck them over as hard as possible if they cross me, and I'm honest about it.
>>13828316
so you're a cunt
>>13828319
An honest cunt. I don't dance around pretending to be just and deny being a cunt.
You're a cunt too. There aren't any non-cunts on this nigerian camel farming board.
Time tae call begbie!
>>13827447
LoL england.
In America you could have shot the bitch in the face as soon as she charged your car and used her keys as a weapon when she threw them at you.
Seriously, I live in South Carolina and here you could have riddled the bitch with .45acp and been 100% exonerated.
>>13830800
This is accurate.
This is why people are so polite in the south, but talk a gang of shit behind your back.
This whole thing sounds like Anger Management-style delusion.
>threw her keys at me and told me to reverse it myself
Sounds like a hot load of bullshit. You're probably thinking that's what happened but you probably went ballistic.
>>13827597
Heres what you should do in a very basic sense (assuming youre telling 100% truth):
>Get lawyer, tell them EVERYTHING
>Have the old hags both take a lie detector test
>Ensure that theres a focus on the driver giving you the keys to her car "knowlingly & willingly"
>Sue for defamation / reputation / false prosecution
>contact some media outlets & tell your story
>watch the old cunt get BTFO
And while youre at it, if the fiat driver is against you, have a stab at her for misleading police / providing false evidence.
>>13830980
>>Have the old hags both take a lie detector test
A POLYGRAPH is not admissible in court in the USA because it's unreliable as fuck, is it in bongland where he is?
>>13830980
This will get you out of the theft charge. And if the lie detector test covers everything, it should show that SHE was driving without due care & breaching the peace.
>>13830983
Unfortunately he has very little choice in how he can defend himself, should have had a dash cam.
>>13830995
It shouldnt go to court anyway desu, if the lawyer can get the police to conduct a polygraph on the women, they may even pussy out before they get caught.
>>13830995
Well you can't defend yourself from charges or lawsuits with a POLYGRAPH at all if it's not admissible in court, and I don't think it is in any first world country. They are unreliable as fuck, almost anyone can beat one.
>>13831005
Im sure that thered be other methods of showing that someone is lying, which is basically what thatoldbastard needs to do with these old women.
>>13831023
Nope. Only video evidence or a witness with a conflicting account, but if you have your word vs the word of two others, they will win in court unless you undermine their credibility. Real life is not a movie or TV show, polygraphs do not detect lies, even the best trained people can only detect deception slightly better than chance. Women are better liars than men so that makes that even less likely.
>>13831035
He doesn't need to goto court though, if he can quickly prove that the women provided false information, then the charges will most likely be dropped by the police.
>>13831057
Problem is, he can't. The police can cross examine the two cunts and will drop charges if they find the story not consistent and credible, but that's really all that can happen until it reaches court.
>>13831057
I've been charged, it was only when disclosure happened that I began to figure out inconsistencies in the evidence.
Beat it at trial.
>>13831098
That's when you sue your accuser for damages and recoup the costs of the time spent in court and defending yourself.
>>13831103
covered by legal aid m8.
was worth going to trial to watch the other side lie blatantly like the retards that they were, and watch the prosecutor fumbling while her case crumbled.
Why, the solution is very simple.
You find and kill the cunts.
See, that wasn't hard, was it? Just burn them to death and throw their charred corpses in the trash where they belong.
>>13827651
Is it wrong in Britain to drive stranger's cars out of the way?
Is very common here when women can't park their cars and are blocking the road, for men to get into their car and park it for them.
won't this be the second time you've gone to jail over some shit that got blown out of proportion by the party accusing you?
>>13827447
>>13827482
>>13827516
>>13827561
>>13827597
This is what men get for not standing up for themselves. Just because they have vaginas doesnt mean they can do what they want. You should have beat the everlasting fuck out of both of them. Took their phone and keys and dropped them in the sewer.
Fuck you OP. You weak beta faggot.
>>13831247
>you should have done something actually illegal to stop yourself from being accused of doing something illegal
Lol
"Alphas" like you who are this insecure are hilarious
Graduate highschool kid
>>13831271
Smack a bitch and she will call you "sir." Why do you think bitches always go out with the meatheads. Women have no respect for men that wont stand up to them and stand up for themselves.
>2015
>letting women walk all over you
thats worse than being a kek.
>>13831360
Nobody respects you or is in your side.
>>13831360
>kek
wtf
kek.
>>13831369
fucking newfaggot
>>13831372
lol fuggin chink moot
>>13831247
>being this much of a beta try hard faggot
Literally the only people who say this are betas trying to "act alpha", the irony is delicious. Please Navy Seal copy pasta us oh saint Alpha and let us know how we dun gouf'd
>>13831379
hiroshima nagasaki purging the site of nromalfaggots
BASED
op you got outsmarted. played like a piano. you are a grade a nincompoop, and deserve any and all legal action that is coming your way. you are also a breeder, which is unforgivable.
>>13827447
>Actual advice time
You have record of a medical emergency, the hospital will have footage of you bringing your son in. Get a lawyer. Instruct them to tell the police you want to come in to make a statement. You were in a frantic state, and the women parked you in and refused to move for you, despite you pleading for her to get out the way. She threw her keys at you and told you to do it if it was 'such an emergency' and filmed you doing this or that.
The corroborating 'witness' then heard the screaming and told the chick to call the police for scaring her daughter.
>>13831434
>Get a lawyer
This, desu senpai. Most basic bitches will fold when pressed against actual legal push back. If she pushed back, and she plans to use the photos from her phone as evidence she has to leave them in an undoctored/undeleted state otherwise it's tampering with evidence (a felony) and they would be dismissed.
If the images remain unaltered and undeleted it'll show her being out of her vehicle first and shows she has a case of the "lying bitch" and everything she says is now suspect and will more than likely be dismissed.
>>13831434
Be prepared to spend up to 10,000 just for the preliminary hearing. Get a loan, borrow from the parents, everything. Very likely the case will be dropped, since you don't have a history of homicidal and auto theft tendencies.
You don't get the money back if the police drop the case, it's gone. If they go to trial and lose, they pay your legal fees.
After its over you file a civil claim against fiat driver and dumb bitch neighbour, and really, really sue the fuck out of them. Your civil lawyer (likely a different lawyer)can get their names etc from court record for serving them.
>>13827447
start knocking doors and see if anyone saw anything.
a letter from the hospital will help too.
I knew it was a TOB story and then the line about throwing the other persons keys away rather than giving them back like a civilized person just confirmed it. For those as don't know TOB has all the anger issues and impulse control of a dain bramaged two year old. It's more likely it went like this:
>Be TOB at work, which pisses him off
>wife calls, which pisses him off
>kid needs medical attention. Well ok then
>asks to leave early. Boss ok's it, which pisses TOB off
>it's daylight outside, which pisses TOB off
>TOB sees cute puppy playing with a cute kitten setting a cute tableau which pisses him off three ways at once
>car starts perfectly, which pisses him off
>driving home by a path only vaguely related to home since the cops are still looking for a car fitting this one's description on the other routes home because reasons
>no incidents on the way so far and TOB's had about enough of the worlds shit by this time
>TOB mysteriously manages to convince driver ahead to let this mad c..errr supreme gentleman by and pulls over
>TOB's had enough of this shit and much hilarity ensues during which pic of him behind the wheel of his car trying to run everybody over at least once is taken as he fucks off prior to the cops arriving which would have, you know, pissed him off.
>at least two other incidents occurred prior to the Brute Squad arriving at his his place that evening but descriptions of the mad c...err supreme gentleman were not sufficient for action
>>13831247
>Beating up a woman.
>On Video.
Wait until that goes on Facebook/YouTube and see what happens. lol
>>13831667
how the fuck can women act this way and get away with it? fucking cunts
>>13832852
what do you mean get away with it?
if you accuse someone of something then the police have to take that seriously.
>>13831667
What the heck am I reading?
Holy shit this whole fucking thread literally have me cancer of the mind.
I can't even try to understand what the fuck is going on here. It's like trying to watch a movie while in a k hole.
>Not having a dashcam.
You deserve it.
>>13832919
I agree, but keep trying and you will get it, basically, anon had to take his son to the hospital because his ass was bleeding shit, in the way a bitch wouldn't move her car to let him get to his house, instead she throws her keys at him and tells him to move her car, when he does everyone sees him (and she takes pics) of him jumping in the car, hears that the baby of the bitch its still in the car, jumps out, throws the keys away, he finds an alternative route and takes his son to the hospital. After he returns cops knock on his door and tell him someone reported him for car theft or something.
>>13830756
Begbie is one of Welsh's best characters and i know exactly who it was based upon.
>>13830800
SCOTLAND YA CUNT, FUCKIN SCOTLAND. you wouldn't like it if i called you Mexican eh?
>>13830954
nope, i'm actually quite pleased with myself i managed to hold it together and didn't even swear one fucking time
>>13830980
will do if possible, we're not so big on lie detectors here
>>13830995
yup, one has been ordered
>>13831125
good one mate, hope i get the same
>>13831136
no its not wrong, but i doubt for one second she wouldn't have gone full retard and claimed i was trying to abduct her kid
>>13831234
second occurance yes, i've not done actual jail time, a few weekenders in the police cells sure, but never "the big hoose"
>>13831247
aye right, eedjit
>>13831434
thats just about exactly what the plan is
>>13831485
yup as a photographer i'm hoping the cunt has deleted at least one image in the sequence,.
>>13831490
i should get legal aid so court costs mean nothing
>>13831611
i'll start knocking doors after i've seen the lawyer.
>>13831667
FUCKIN EPIC M8, i might actually change my statement to your version ">it's daylight outside, which pisses TOB off" that one line describes me perfectly
>>13833147
aye.
>>13831667
missus just read this,
>yeah errything pisses you off
>laughs
>reads more
>yup that pisses you off
>yeah that pisses you off too (pointing at screen)
>these guys know you too well
>goes to fridge
>takes my last beer
>goes back to killing 12 year olds on BO2
FML
>>13834868
She's a keeper for sure.
>>13827997
m8, that's pretty much the same as any other British common law jurisdiction.
>middle finger
>go around
>focus on your son
Op was that too hard? Learn to remove yourself from situations like this. Disengage.
>>13827496
engage 2nd before trying for reverse, bro
>>13830800
>be American
>get shot
just about to go visit the lawyer,
heres hoping a quick letter to the Procurator Fiscal shuts this whole thing down.
i'm quietly confident once vrsions are compaired the PF will see through the blatant lies and see through every hole in her statement. and if not at least i get to go shopping for a new suit n tie
the lie detector thing is bullshit, if they pass you just paid to get fucked
just don't worry about it, prison's easy (not that you'll get sent down)
>>13827597
Jesus...and you fucktards give us Americunts a hard time.
>>13835804
>be english
>try to travel to places in the world that hate your countries guts
>get stoned to death
Yeah, I'd rather be shot desu senpai.
>>13835804
>be european
>get culturally enriched
>>13827691
>smart phone out
>she threw the keys at me
To me that would have been a clear indication that she wanted to set me up.
I know you were in a hurry due to your son's condition but you need to be more conscious of your decisions.
You allowed yourself to be set up despite the fact that you could get around the vehicle in the first place. Just hop a curb or drive on some grass or something.
>>13827882
>bows dont leave tell tale ballistics markings on their ammo
.............
but like..... yo theres like fingerprints m8, and like you have motive, and you have a damn cross bow. At least where I live in my non sheep fucking country not many people have those. Like you are so dumb m8 I dont even
oh and good luck with your sons asshole, kid sounds like a trooper
>>13827954
hahahahahahahahahatfrhstrnhjnjnhjynjshtnjhyumk
>>13828223
>just deserts
>deserts
>>13827933
>would you take a brand new Aston Marten to the authorised dealer or some grease monkey round the corner?
Now that depends, how far away is the nearest Aston marton dealer to me and why are all their techs complete shit?
>>13830983
They don't even have them over here at all because of how unreliable they are. That's not to say when you are arrested they won't pull the old "So you're telling the truth are you? So you'll agree to do a lie detector?" in the hope, obviously, that whoever they're asking will just spill the beans. It happens the other way too though where someone blatantly guilty denies whatever and, knowing full well they don't have one, demands to take a lie detector test.
>mfw that time they put a colander on someone's head, "hooked him up" to a photocopier and just copied a piece of paper with "LIE" wrote on, every time they thought he was lying
>mfw he spilled spaghetti everywhere and fully admitted it because the "machine was so accurate"
>>13828223
>deserts
>>13838216
be Scottish
everyone loves us
cept other Scots
ok, went to lawyer, went to pub, came home
lawyer says "plead not guilty, PF should throw this the fuck out and worst case scenario is "not proven" verdict" so stick your Guilty/Not Guilty law systems right up yer arses
I FUCKIN LOVE SCOTTISH LAW
>>13839953
>SCOTTISH LAW
Sounds very much like the law of Great Britain to me you fucking britfag
>>13839953
>>13840022
Yeah this, scottish law my ass
>>13827447
I skimmed the thread,
tl;dr:
FUCK WOMEN
>>13828223
most people are fine
there's still time to change your attitude and improve the quality of your life
>>13827597
After the criminal case is over make sure to sue her into bankruptcy. The results of the criminal case don't matter for this.
>>13827895
Dude it's a woman.....womens initial reaction to a stressful situation/emergency is to cry and panic, and call a loved one. It's like you've never met a woman before.....
