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Suspect Offers Unique Excuse For Vandalism
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Following his arrest for a vandalism spree, a Florida man who was shirtless and covered in dirt explained to police that he had “listened to too much music and masturbated too much and he felt like going out and destroying stuff.”

According to cops, William Thomas, 25, was nabbed Friday after destroying property at the Clearwater home of victim Davor Jerkovic. Thomas, arrest affidavits charge, caused more than $2000 in damages to Jerkovic’s residence and boat.

Thomas, seen at left, is facing felony burglary and criminal mischief charges. He is locked up in lieu of $7000 bond, jail records show.

When a Largo Police Department cop collared Thomas, he reportedly confessed to the vandalism, saying that he was “envisioning destroying other peoples lives.”

Officer Lawrence Trnka also noted that Thomas “stated that he had listened to too much music and masturbated too much and he felt like going out and destroying stuff.” It is unclear why Thomas targeted the Jerkovic residence, which is about seven miles from the defendant’s Clearwater home.

The unemployed Thomas was arrested earlier this year for stealing items from a Walmart, records show. After entering a no contest plea to the misdemeanor count, he was ordered to pay $500 in fines and court costs.

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/brilliant-vandalism-excuse-294031
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>florida man strikes again
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>>38542
>a Florida man
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>>38542
I wonder if he's short?
He must be short.

If he were 6ft or above with that face, he wouldn't have any trouble being successful both financially and with women as long as he was diligent.

Also:
>$2000 in damages
He's a fuck up if that's all the more damage he could do when it involved a boat and a nice home.

I could do worse in just a few minutes.
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>>38748
the fuck does this have to do with height?
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Jerkovic
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>>38748
maybe he's just enlightened
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>>38775
has nobody else commented on this?
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>25 years old

Goddamn he looks like he'll be 40 in a couple of years.
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>>38748
Short handsome guys do okay, so long as you go out with midgets

t. handsome manlet
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>>39213
You heard it here first folks, the amount of damage you can do to a property with a boat exponentially increases with how handsome you are.
>>
this guy is just the embodiment of what we should all be doing for anarchy's sake
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