I really want this to be my last day alive. It's 1pm at my country right now. I'm planning to order a pizza or something tasty like that and do something fun until I finally end it. I really hope I can do it. Going to write down my debts on a piece of paper (how much money I owe to some people, because I've been borrowing a lot recently) and planning to hang myself. I hope I can do it but I still feel the fear and uncertainty.
Have you guys got any pretty songs to listen to?
>>66204127
DJ Shadow-Building steam with a grain of salt
Wavves-nine is god
>>66204127
Don't do it. I was in your position a few years ago, and I survived my suicide attempt. I am eternally grateful that I did, because things can, and will, change. You get such a brief moment on Earth, don't end it earlier than it ends itself - you don't get another chance at this.
>>66204291
What method did you choose and how/why did you survive?
>>66204347
I overdosed on sleeping pills at University when my housemates were out. One came home shortly after and called an ambulance.
>>66204456
This was 5-6 years ago, since then I have met the love of my life, moved to London, got a good job and we are currently engaged, planning our wedding, and looking at travelling the world after the wedding next May. When I tried to kill myself, I did not think any of that was possible.
>>66204484
What's your job, if it's not a secret?
>>66204127
If nothing matters to you then why don't you just leave. Go on an adventure.
>>66204657
I don't have that much money to survive a long time.
>>66204660
Save money and do it
>>66204127
Tell us more about your situation. What's wrong, OP?
>>66204638
I'm a Recruitment Consultant, and I also write articles and novels (though that isn't my main job, it's my passion). I mean, it's not a job I want to do forever, but it's good money and allows me to live in an amazing city. My plan is to just travel after we're married, to just see as much as we can, because there really are incredible things out there. Life can be wonderful, but it may take time and work. Death isn't wonderful, death is just nothing.
>>66204660
I advise you to do a Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL) course online. That would enable you to get a job in any number of countries, and countries where all you'd need to do would be pay for the flight out there - the cost of living is low enough that your job would easily cover it. Requires no prior experience, and is a chance to start a whole new life.
>>66204657
this meme needs to stop
>>66204762
just b urself
>>66204700
How old are you?
>>66204127
Depends. How are you going out?
>>66204127
death is sad anon, don't do it
I've got ur back :^)
hit up [email protected] if u need someone to talk to, I've got u f a m
>>66204791
Turned 25 last month.
>>66204810
>Somebody actually took the time to make this
>Marijuana overdose
>>66204856
Everybody in his or her own life needs a hobby, fills the voids that working late create
Kick back and smoke to some midnight snack HOMESHAKE
>>66204700
Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your story, anon
>>66204856
>He says, as he spends hours on /mu/
>>66204819
right
this thread is so fake
>>66204884
You're welcome, I would hate for someone to end their life without me doing at least a tiny bit to help.
>>66204692
It's hard to pinpoint anything exact. I feel like I've gone over this so many times in my head that it's hard to write everything down. Simply put, my near future (as in, the following week) will be absolutely unbearable because of work, my further future looks really shitty, I've fucked up a lot of things in my life and I haven't got a lot to be happy about. It all sounds so vague and stupid but it's really hard to bear all this. I know how dumb suicidal people sound and I've been like this for probably over 5 years now, I've had it gone away, but it keeps turning worse and worse and it keeps coming back. I'm tired of running. To everyone else though, of course I would advise everyone NOT to kill themselves and I understand that it's stupid, but really I'm just so worn out because of life.
It's not like any of us have thta much longer anyways so might as well just ride it out. whats the big deal
>>66205078
Is there anything to keep you going?
>>66205078
do acid and/or shrooms
they helped me not want to kill myself
>>66205121
I can't imagine anything other than disappearance. Existence itself is enjoyable for me, it's just that the circumstances of mine have made it pretty awful and hardly bearable.
>>66205078
just smoke weed n bee urself go on an adventure
>>66205143
I've done acid once. My mind was just focused on how drugged out I was and overall it was just pretty unpleasant and it didn't actually add anything to my personality etc.
>>66205172
how much did you drop? setting and headspace is just as important as the drug itself.
>>66205192
I don't remember, maybe it was 120 something? Yeah, the environment was pretty shitty and overall it could have been a better trip. But drugs (and high doses of them) don't really change my outlook on anything ever.
Listen to this OP https://youtu.be/H4NvYyuVUZM
And remember Suicide is a permanent solution to what will most likely be a temporary problem
>>66205259
Vaporwave is unnerving, man.
Yeah, most of my problems really are temporary, but I can't imagine pulling through them. Maybe I'm just being melodramatic but man, just quitting now would be so great and so easy.
>>66205220
120µg is a pretty good dosage for a beginner. I'd advise you to drop acid again, but doing it by yourself or with 1-2 people you trust in a place where you feel safe. Really plan it.
I'm not going to talk you out of suicide because I don't know you. I tried to kill myself seven years ago by eating an entire carton of citalopram and like 50 hydrocodone pills. My mom came home early from work, found me, called 911. I have loads of stomach issues today, and I regret swallowing all of those pills. It's not the suicide attempt I regret, just the method. If you're sure, don't choose a way that can fail.
>>66205035
indeed
>>66204291
>just b urselflfff
EVERYTIME
REEEEEE
>>66205291
Alternatively just listen to the sample and message the song is trying to convey
http://youtu.be/MOY-jJeOeBk
>>66204456
sleeping pills is such a shitty method. should've done your research
OP, listen to some Kimberly Kubus. he was a schizo who killed himself and a lot of his music is reuploaded on youtube
>>66204127
>It's 1pm
any chance you're finnish, anon?
>>66205888
No, but close in Europe.
God damn it, why is suicide so hard? How are so many people able to hang themselves?
i know how u feel op.
ive tried drugs ive tried everything, but man life is just hard.
however im kinda still trying to change things even tho i dont see the point. but why not live while u can?
basically im gonna quit my job in a couple months and start travelling. i enrolled in some meditation course cause why the hell not, if it can help me cope with this life more easily and with peace, why not try it. after that ill travel some more. maybe meet new people. im socially a bit awkward so it can be a struggle sometimes, but whatever.
i noticed that when i make myself plans, like concrete travel plans for example, i feel i have a purpose. a place to go to. things to do. why? i dont know why.. but why not
>>66205935
fucking retard. there's so many things you could do to help yourself and yet you're here talking this autistic shit
>>66206226
he's suicidal. so c'mon. he's reached a point where he can see only darkness. its not that easy to lift urself up from there.
i do wish op would try. get rid of that shitty job and do something else
>>66206226
Fuck off, retard.
>>66206264
I can't even get rid of it right now, legally
>>66206335
how long must u work then
>>66206335
if u kill yourself today, you might as well tell us what your job is without being so fucking vague
I've thought about suicide a lot. I have a premade noose in my back yard hidden in a tree, just in case.
But I've decided that if I were to do it, this song would be playing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbWBRnDK_AE
>>66204127
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5CVsCnxyXg
How about this? I feel you OP, I also wanna end it myself. I just don't have a reason to live anymore. I work a minimum wage job, can barely afford to pay bills, internet is the only "luxury" I have. I don't have a good relationship with my family, everyone is disappointed in me, I don't have any friends or any skills or budget to make anything. Originally I wanted to make video games but that's just fucking stupid, I cant even program. I go to work for 8 hours, come back home and spent another 8 on the computer and repeat every day. Sometimes I feel like I'm overly dramatic and relax for a while but it always comes back twice as hard, I don't know anymore. Good luck OP
>>66205373
not the guy youre talking to, but acid sent me into the worst suicidal period of my life which i'm only just starting to get out of through serious medication and ongoing psychological help. it's far from a catch-all cure, it really depends on the individual
>>66207030
How much did you take and in what setting? I've had friends fuck their lives up with acid and other psychoactive substances, but every single time it's been them either taking way too much or tripping in bad places/with bad people.
