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puberty edition
old >>66007172
>>66011951
i got that cassete, super dope tech thrash m8
>>66011935
i miss trashy scenecore and mallemo/mallgoth
it's not fun to tear da club up anymore
Official bump limit for /metal/ threads is 400 now, we do not make new threads until 400 is hit
I didn't expect that cover to turn out this shitty, what the fuck that is the file in the album folder?
>>66012006
the boring one
TRITSIO >> With Fear > Gardens of Grief
>>66012071
Gardens > Tritsio = With fear
if i'm looking to get into a band or genre, is it ok to just go to RYM, sort by the best rated, and listen to the discog from best to worst?
Riffs, they're fucking dank you know?
0:28
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc5OShwMMLw
>>66012071
>>66012090
TRITSIO>Gardens>At War With Reality>Terminal>With Fear>Slaughter
>>66012106
rym is fucking garbage especially for metal
>>66012106
Nope, you've gotta listen in chronological order, including demos, EPs and lives
>>66012106
>RYM
lmao, the community is garbage senpai
>>66012106
RYM is Rate Your Music? If that is anything like last.fm, no.
>>66012136
Now this is what I call prime mental retardation
>>66011875
All up on that scenecore shit plus hanging with the anime crowd.
>>66012151
But u on it.
There is nothing wrong with At War With Reality, I listened to it about 20 times and don't remember a single song name.
>>66012200
duartemartinho is fucking dead, senpai, check it
>All up on that scenecore shit plus hanging with the anime crowd.
OOOH, that's painful
>>66012218
At war with reality is like that kid that sucks dicks and has autism
So at a concert recently I saw someone wear a shirt with a "NSDM - NO SMILING DOOM METAL" on the back, and I am curious to know what band that was from, because when I googled it and with slight alterations too I found nothing.
You guys know something? I don't know for sure if it said NO SMILING DOOM METAL or DON'T SMILE DOOM METAL
how the fuck do you rusfolder?
Besides At The Gates, what are some other bands that went to complete shit after losing a member?
>>66012335
Metallica
is this a metal album?
>>66012298
Sounds like some shitty Chinese bootleg shirt
>>66012335
Metallica after mustaine left (he wasn't kicked out for sure, james is a cuck jew and he fabricated a story that didn't make him out to be the literal pussy that he is)
>>66012228
It was as bad as it sounds, it made my Power Metal and Dream Theater worship years look chill in comparison.
>>66012335
How about bands that went to complete shit after gaining a new member fuck you Michael Amott you killed Carcass and ruined death metal
>>66012362
but power metal be dank though unless you were listening to sonata arctica or nightwish
>>66012361
>Metallica went to complete shit after Mustaine left
What? They didn't release a single full length when he got kicked.
>>66012335
Also I am adding Mayhem to the list of obvious choices, though mainly Euronymous and not Dead.
>>66012347
yeah, but mustaine did make a few good albums.
>>66012362
did you at least fuck a trashy scene girl or a fugly weeb
>>66012403
>What? They didn't release a single full length when he got kicked.
exactly
>>66012361
A cuck jew? Does he watch other jews bang each other or does he try to outjew cucks?
>>66012109
They're great now but their mid-era was some of the most boring death metal ever released
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr4gKVsqh9o
>>66012361
I agree desu. Mustaine is the reason Metallica was ever relevant. He was way ahead of his peers.
>>66012430
yes
>>66012427
I made it too easy for you, but I mentioned Metallica earlier because of Cliff Burton, he wasn't so much a driving force behind the band and they probably would have went commercial even sooner if he hadn't died, but I still enjoy Master of Puppets and find everything afterwards to be absolutely unacceptable. It's mainly coincidence though, I don't think the quality of Metallica's output was in any way related to Cliff
>remember that I edited the Wikipedia page on Turbo a while ago and added some additional background details about the development of the album
>this included mentioning Rob Halford's gay boyfriend committing suicide in front of him and his stint in drug rehab
>go back to the page yesterday
>notice someone changed it to just say Halford's "romantic partner"
Come on guys, are you that afraid to admit...
>>66012486
The black album is the best buttmetal album ever made though
lars is just terrible i wish he would have died
>relabel all songs on the album as Blind Guardian songs
>tell friend it's an old demo
>he believes me
>accidentally read the Youtube comments section for a stoner metal video
Dear god
>when the only good moment on your album is a guest solo by a guitarist from a different band
JUST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzLhT39DSE0
>>66012504
how did he kill himself?
>>66012506
And Justice for All is really boring though.
>>66012520
I don't think there is a genre that is being more insulted by Youtube comments than classical, really.
>This is great studying music!
>Wow this goes so well with a book!
>This is what I listen to when I do my homework!
>>66012518
i like that album cover
>>66012556
>>This is what I listen to when I do my homework!
I see this on tech death a lot
>>66012504
Is something amiss?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibal_Corpse
>>66012556
you forgot where those fucking teenager act superior for not liking pop and liking art music when they literally just use it for background music
>>66012391
Oh it is, i got into that because the music was uplifting and fun, i was going through some personal problems but i did enjoy Sonata Arctica at some point.
>>66012417
>did you at least fuck a trashy scene girl
not being into girls was one of the problems i mentioned earlier.
>or a fugly weeb
Yes, i fucked myself on a daily basis.
Blog aside i'm really enjoying the new Desaster.
>>66012603
top kek
>>66012109
I found that boring
I like this better:
https://youtu.be/Lz-7B8dm6Mo?t=43
>tfw ALL of the Cannibal Corpse albums with the exception of Kill, The Bleeding and Suicide Gallery are banned in Germany
>>66012645
holy shit this nigger is back, when are you going to kill yourself?
>>66012603
fucking kek
>>66012662
>first reply is this
>less than a minute after
But I thought you said Akercocke ruined death metal by making people think you listened to Meshuggah when you said you listened to prog-metal
>>66012556
>this album goes great with watching porn!
>it's twilight of the thunder god
What's some essential "some of you guys are alright"-core?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB6k1j5YJ54
>>66012694
Wut
>>66012645
i enjoyed his.
>>66012645
But I thought you said Akercocke ruined death metal by making people think you listened to Coheed & Cambria when you said you listened to prog-metal
>>66012684
slow down with your memery preacher
preacher please
>>66012645
But I thought you said Cannibal Corpse ruined death metal by making people think you listened to Six Feet Under when you said you listened to metal
>>66012645
Hola pendejo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7IHi6ZBeD4
>>66012749
this is complete amateur hour, you gotta learn to meme faster
>>66012645
Even the band itself fucking hates you, you piece of shit
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akercocke
>>66012645
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiwqRSCWw2g
Puta
>>66012645
SHIT LIKE DISTURBED
LIKE
DISTURBED
>>66012793
>The band has expressed immense hatred in their interviews for a tripfriend on 4chan's /mu/ board by the name of "iopq", the band were qouted saying : "We are ashamed that our music is enjoyed by this lowly waste of air, if we'd ever see him on the street we would bash his brain in"
>>66012739
no, it ruined death metal because people thought I listened to shit like Behemoth when I said I listened to blackened death
>>66012772
superior Roots song coming through
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiwqRSCWw2g
>>66012793
>mrw
>>66012825
holy shit it's real top fucking kek, don't these edits get insta-reverted though?
>>66012793
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akercocke
Fucking beautiful work anon
I listened to Sepulturas early albums yesterday for the first time and Schizophrenia is really fucking good
>>66012853
So you've done it. You've become a living meme trigger.
>>66012888
>>66012853
TRIPS CONFIRM IOPQ IS NOW LIVING MEME
Quick someone edit Sepultura's Wikipage with "This band is famous for making people think iopq listened to Sepultura when he told people he listened to metal"
When will this stupid iopq meme end
so fucking tired of this shit reddit-tier meme
>>66012949
>When will this stupid iopq meme end
when iopq kills himself
>>66012793
show these amateurs how to meme, anon
>>66012949
Put your trip back on
Nevar 4get
>>66012949
>reddit-tier meme
All memes are reddit-tier memes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurosis_(band)
So does /metal/ like satyricon or not? Is it just that everybody feels betrayed? Was there a shitstorm around that time?
>>66012977
>Lyrical themes: Grape drank, KFC and watermelon
>>66013019
my kind of people desu
>>66013003
this came out of nowhere
MY FUCKING SIDES
>>66013003
>boring
beauty
someone meme on a better band
Dissection - Storm of the Light's Bane
Sample:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q78Teqr2T6E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26GyKRXVJD4
>Black Metal, Death Metal, Melodic Death Metal
https://mega.nz/#F!txtGCQYB!mZYFMR0_s9L4QynW1qwEOA
>>66013003
I read the first paragraph two times before realizing it. Nothing seemed out of place desu.
What do you think of the Doom 2016 soundtrack?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNkQMtZAMAw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhIS4FdS7co
>>66013085
what the fuck are you doing
>>66013085
>mellow shit
no thanks
>>66013085
I'm pretty sure every single person that browses this general already has that album.
>>66013085
what is this hipster shit
>>66013108
djent+glitch fits with the game fine but doesn't even compare to the the classic tunes
>>66013108
IT'S SHIT
SHIIIIIIIIT
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>66013148
>no frog picture
reported
what is the metal equivalent of wearing this ?
>>66013085
By reading the comments here, I guess that you did this for comedy. When first saw this, my first thought was to find a way to find you, then get a large, a badass syringe with a super long needle (like the one in Pulp Fiction) but it would only be filled with air, not a sîgle drop of liquid. Then I would smash the needle right insidéyour heart, push the plunger and watch you getting a heart failure, seeing that brutal pain in your eyez and then I would whisper something in your ear. Wouldn't it be sweet?
>>66013108
>masterchief goes to hell.jpg
>>66013177
Dream Theater
>>66013145
Fascinating, it seems as though queers no longer feed on semen to sustain themselves and have replaced their gay urges by swallowing (You)s
>>66013169
>announcing your reports
reported
>>66013177
Dream Theater
>>66013177
Cradle of Filth maybe
>>66013177
thats \m/ bro xD
>>66013177
Shouting "GO" or "DO IT" before a riff/solo
>>66013085
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissection_(band)
>>66013195
no u
>>66013190
>>66013207
you mean when the riff commands you to say "GO!", right?
>>66012544
They got into a violent fight while high out of their minds on coke and then Rob ran out of the house and tried to hail a taxi to get away from his boyfriend. The boyfriend came outside and said he was sorry about what happened and begged Rob to forgive him. Then he took a pistol out, placed it to his temple, and fired.
Rob was so shaken by that that he immediately decided to check into rehab. And come back he did. The 86 tour had some of his most explosive performances ever.
I now realize that Wikipedia is shit tier and probably everything I've read about WWII is a shitpost
>>66013290
Well yeah
were you taking that seriously all this time
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deafheaven
It is done
>>66013317
>>66013317
?????????????
>>66013324
>tfw no black guy metal friend
It'd really improve my image desu
Too bad I've never seen a black person IRL
>>66012163
lmao RYM is anything but last.fm u fkn pleb
>>66013355
boy they fixed it fast, something not so outrageous then
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deafheaven
>>66013355
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Deafheaven&oldid=727437978
>>66013290
i changed the leader of the nazi party to nobel prize winner adolf hitler and no one even realized yet
>>66013385
they've caught wind of your tricks, I recommend laying low for a while so they don't ban you
>>66013277
Keep in mind that they'd been getting into coke-fueled brawls for some time at that point, but it finally reached critical mass.
And actually, if you can believe it, Rob was recording the vocal parts for Turbo as all this was going on. It's almost incredible to think the guy could be recording such fantastic vocals (those melodies on Turbo are huge) and then go home that evening and...yeah. And then come into the studio the next morning and record more stuff.
>>66013385
You've been IP banned because of your shenanigans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgp5aSUddq4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvX43GAMx3w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-Lp7jBqwf8
>>66013365
>tfw had black guy metal friend
feels good desu
>>66013433
>you will never hang out with a coked-up 80s Rob Halford while he sings melodies to you and tries to playfully pin you to the ground
>>66013557
doge got absolutely rekt
>>66013591
yeah he has no real sense of agression, cat just takes no shit from anything or anyone though
>>66013003
We found a buttmad neurosis fan!!
>>66013624
how ironic
>>66013557
youre black
>>66013624
someone change JK Flesh's article to Industrial sized meme pls
>>66013639
How ironic?
>>66013648
it's wikipedia boy, even you can do it!
>>66013624
M E M E
E M E M
M E M E
E M E M
>>66013624
seriously what kind of human being moderates this website? I honestly cannot imagine who would do this
>>66013676
Wikipedia has always been controlled by the false, why do you think metallum exists?
>>66013662
i literally can barely type right now
codeine demons trashing me son
>>66013648
You can even change Genesis P. Orridge page to "It was a ruse all along i can't believe you guys listen to this shit LMAO"
I mean i would but i was banned.
>>66013676
to be fair all it takes is a click of one revert button.
>>66013324
>"skinhead" patch
That nigger sure doesn't look like a ska fan...
>>66013676
It's terrifying that someone fixed it just 11 minutes later. I don't know how wikis work. Are people notified when a page they subscribe to is edited?
>>66013657
cause of the irony
>>66013715
i feel like the lives of mods and generators in Wikipedia and imageboards is akin to the life of Jesus according to the fucking Gnostics except it's literally just to contain a bunch of fucking degenerates
>>66013702
maybe more Oi!
>>66013721
Ironic how?
>>66013757
But instead of collecting the foreskins of goyim, they do it for free
>>66013786
I R O N Y
R
O
N
Y
>>66013827
Are you being """""sarcastic"""" about irony or something
because that shit's retarded
>>66013433
Considering Elton John was also a raging gay cokehead back then, but his "performance" on Leather Jackets was horrible and it's one of the worst albums of his career and he needed throat surgery afterwards because his voice was just about ready to give out. And I can't imagine Elton was pushing his voice to the extremes Rob was.
>http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/ex-judas-priest-singer-tim-ripper-owens-denied-entry-to-u-k-wildfire-festival-appearance-canceled/
>imports millions of mudslimes for shits and giggles
>won't even let Halford Jr. in to play a gig
Explain yourselves, Bongs
>>66014015
Racist brexiters did it
>>66013888
And Rob in his 60s still has some incredible power.
>dat demonic scream
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiXS-_XJMwE
If anything, Glenn Tipton is the guy who's starting to slow down. You can see he's struggling with the Painkiller solo here.
>>66014015
bongs tearing up some shit. absolute savages
Never in my entire life have I enjoyed playing bass this much.
Only downside is that all tabs are shit, learned to play from watching live performances.
>>66014054
The solo in that song is tough. I doubt there's many guitarists anywhere who can play it.
>>66014197
Reminds me of that summer fling with my mom
>>66014054
Boy I can't wait for 15 years from now when Kerry King is in his late 60s and he's playing RIB at like 70 bpm and wincing in pain the whole time. But then he's an asshole anyway, so fuck him.
>>66014376
>52
>still playing shows
hell be fine
>>66014196
Yeh any time you look up tabs of Painkiller online, the comment section is full of people saying "The fuck am I supposed to play this? It's impossible."
>>66014015
Bongistan is fucking retarded. They actually banned a PUA guy because he posted a picture on jewter or jewbook of himself pulling a Japanese girl's head down by his crotch and joking that Japanese girls love having their heads pulled down to a dude's crotch.
>>66014389
>Kerry King is 52
>That means he was about 21 when he was working on Hell Awaits
At that age he was helping to push the boundaries and crafting a timeless worm of art, I'm 21 and all I have to show for it is a bunch of anime figurines and drinking problems, where did everything go so wrong
>>66014486
But Japanese girls do love having their heads pulled down by a dude's crotch
>>66014487
>anime figurines
don't try to be this morose and lugubrious about it, anon. At this point you should be broken enough to be able to smile about it
>>66014376
IDK, Tony Iommi has been playing great since his hand surgery and he's like 68.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vektor_(band)
>>66012106
Usually you should listen to the one that has the most reviews first, not the best. Sometimes a band's best work will be very inaccessible compared to their other albums
>>66014487
>26
>all of my accomplishments are phony accolades from academia, a institution that wants to destroy me because I'm a fucking white male
>the only demo I've ever recorded didn't even leave my rural hometown's borders
>literally the only thing I'm proud of in my entire life is squeezing DD tits
>>66014537
Exactly. The girls in the picture were laughing and Bongistan still banned him.
r u ready for blackened djentcore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDgqdT-qVV8
>tfw this is the best example of pure second-wave BM that has ever been recorded
>>66014653
already was a thing
>>66014550
Wha...you think Iron Man and Painkiller are anywhere even close for the amount of speed and technicality required?
Post good metal albums only you know about.
>>66014609
Holy shit I as eagerly waiting for this and it was better than I expected. Bravo.
>>66014692
now i know about it, good going you fucking goof
>>66014550
Tony has had fucked up fingers since 17. He had to tape thimbles or some shit on his fingertips and relearn how to play guitar, and then he went on to play on Black Sabbath
>>66014487
At least you can afford such figurines.
I'm completely broke, well not entirely but you get the idea.
>>66014684
>Iron Man
no
>Painkiller
yeah
>power metal album where every riff is a slam
Someone make this right now
>>66014692
Not retardedly obscure, but not very popular.
This one has a cool as fuck riffing style
It's not "smooth" like usual BM, it has a kind of lurching stop-and-start style with palm-mutes and tremolo
>>66014609
>Björn "Speed" Strid links to Barack Obama
this is advanced memeing
>>66014609
why are you dissin my guys locrian they're a good band
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altars_of_Madness
>>66011977
NEW TRAP THEM ALBUM THIS FALL HOLY SHIT
>>66014842
fuck I wasn't ready senpai
>>66014842
>The cover artwork, by Dan Seagrave, depicts "a flat maze where Trey has sex with anime girls. It late became a Quake 3 map he created.".
wew
>>66014725
True but he did have his hand operated on by a German specialist who also treated Eddie Van Halen. But then as I said, the classic Sabbath songs are not anywhere close to the speed or technicality of a lot of Judas Priest songs. It's pretty obvious from recent performances that Glenn Tipton is in considerable pain when he plays, especially during solos.
https://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/j/judas_priest/painkiller_tab.htm
That solo is an absolute bastard.
why does preacher have a reaction pic for everything
>>66014745
I unironically want to hear a symphonic slam album.
write some slam songs and give them the Bal-Sagoth treatment.
>>66015002
and to keep my post on topic here's some icelandic black/thrash
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGHSHUj3IsU
>>66012478
This video is why I listen to death metal today.
>>66015075
kek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir9cImHr7yM
>>66015064
he recently discovered how to download images.
>>66014745
>>66015075
As limited of a style as slam is there are a lot of cool things somebody could do with it if they wanted to actually play something interesting instead of making another 25 minutes of GUTTURAL BULLDOZING SLAMMING BRUTALITY with an eviscerated pregnant woman covered in shit on the cover
This video is why I listen to death metal today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjTPG7q3AR8
>>66015127
needs more slams
Speaking of Bal-Sagoth, this song is pretty brutal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j893OnQrd6w
I love the vocals, sounds like a rabid dog.
This video is why I don't listen to death metal today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi3qC_zQ4Po
>>66015230
>tfw never been able to take Cthulhu metal seriously
black sucks
>>66015278
why?
This video is why people think I listen to shit like Disturbed when I say I listen to metal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiwqRSCWw2g
post your favorite death skiffle band
>>66015293
It's like LOTR lyrics for the 2spooky crowd. It feels unoriginal to sing about somebody else's work, and I always thought it was cheesy as hell.
Not that extreme metal isn't full of cheesy lyrics but at least there's something earnest about hurr gore or hurr satan or hurr fuck society bad lyrics, even if it's just an earnest desire to be offensive.
>>66015127
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5qJlqGDwpQ
this is actually really good. nice find
In theory, metal is today's real rock and roll--the music of the people. It's basic, it's rude, kids love it, parents hate it. But the closer you look, the stupider and more delusory it seems. Metal isn't basic--it cultivates a pseudo-virtuosity that negates content. The dreams it promulgates are usually foolish and often destructive. 80% of the "people" who like it are male, and 98% of them are white.
>>66015544
Rock "critics" base their opinions of metal on only the 1% most visible artists (i.e. those on the charts). Except Scruffy, who will always be better than Shitegau.
>>66015544
>80% of the "people" who like it are male, and 98% of them are white.
Ah yes, it's the ol' "I don't like something because of its fanbase" fallacy.
>>66015544
>it cultivates a pseudo-virtuosity that negates content
What on earth did he mean by this?
>>66015424
>It feels unoriginal to sing about somebody else's work
Literally everything is a rehash and nothing is original
>>66015127
>>66015436
>mfw this is christian metal
https://replica9000.bizland.com/ffweb/bio-other.html
>Dino stars in the porn movie "Crew Sluts: Tales From The Road".
>It has been rumoured that Burton has three testicles
>>66015648
nothing at all but calling things pseudo- makes them sound invalid
>>66015648
He means that metal creates the impression of being technical and difficult to play (even though it's really not as most metal musicians have no training in music theory or composition) to mask its lack of content.
>>66015544
>98% of them are white
someone has never heard of south America
>>66015892
Thanks for the b8
>>66015246
>Dream Theater shirt
>Defining what music is
Pretty sure he's wanking to sympho female singers...
>>66015892
>formal education fallacy
>>66015892
>metal isn't technical and hard to play
Like I said earlier ITT, go on Vocaroo and play the Painkiller lead break for us...if you can.
>>66015246
His whole argument hinges on how one dictionary defines music.
>>66015544
>Parents hate it
My dad like to blast Gojira or Supuration when I come to visits my parents, he and his wife never complain about what I listen. They rather encouraged me when I was a teen to go to concert and listen to what I like.
I don't really think parents care about music, more about what and where their children going and doing.
>>66016079
>>66015921
Dude...he wrote that column in 1988.
>>66016160
When he was already an irrelevant hack
>>66016160
Even in 1988 more than 2% of metal fans were non-white
>>66015544
>"people"
>>66016160
Oh my bad then...
>>66016160
>he wrote that column in 1988
>Sarcofago released I.N.R.I in 87
I guess he just didn't entry
>>66016207
Well...yeah I know how Kiss played in front of 250,000 people in Rio De Janeiro in 1983, but the problem with critics back then is that most of them were totally ignorant of anything outside major label releases. All the amazing stuff going on in Europe, LatAm, and Japan...they didn't know it at all.
>>66016216
It seems we're only inhuman after all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTAC1HdoTIE
>>66016238
That's Christgau's problem, even outside of metal. He's ignorant of a lot of things outside of his personal scope of preference, and makes no attempt to learn things for his reviews.
In general he's very close minded, which isn't a trait you want in a reviewer.
>>66016331
Basically, his entire idea of rock music is a couple of guys in jeans and a leather jacket in a club somewhere singing teen angst songs under 3:15 in length. Anything more advanced than that he dismisses as art rock.
>>66016417
Well it made me question how reviewer judge the music, I mean it seems all the musci critics and reviewer just rate what they listen in their room in front of a computer...looks like those guys never go to a concert, a festival, don't listen to music when they run or cook or anything else. Looks like they don't even feel the sound.
>>66016482
Christgau has been to a lot of concerts. Ok, he doesn't do as many now that he's in his 70s, but well into the 90s he was pretty active in checking out shows and the club scene in the New York area.
>>66016569
Do you think metalheads intimidated him somehow, accidentally or purposefully, and he let that influence his review negatively?
>>66016569
And that's where I'm starting questionning his legitimity. I mean if he move to a lot of places, start listening different releases, there should be a moment where he's trying to "understand" the music and/or its energy, and if he don't then he should recognize that he's closed to this genre and pass his way....like I could do for autistic Ivorian christianic brutpop or whatever genre...
>>66016668
he does seem offended by metal
>>66016668
I don't think he ever went to any metal shows since he'd already dismissed the entire genre out of hand. He did attend a Korn show in the late 90s and wrote a column about it though they're not really "metal" per se.
>>66016710
He seems to fixate on them abusing the whole "child abuse" angle a lot on their debut, but given than Davis was in fact molested, it's kind of a dick move. I assume he didn't know that though.
He doesn't really describe their actual music though.
HIKING METAL PUNKS FOREVER!!!
HIKING METAL PUNKS FOREVER!!!
HIKING METAL PUNKS FOREVER!!!
HIKING METAL PUNKS FOREVER!!!
>>66016773
>He doesn't really describe their actual music though
Has he ever appraised music in a legitimate manner? He always seemed to focus on catchy pop hooks and other shallow as fuck assessments. To me, he was always more of a social critic, like a pop culture scholar rather than a music reviewer.
I do kind of agree there; I find music easier to appreciate when it has a recognizable melody I can hum along to.
Follow the Leader [Epic, 1998]
Korn deny they're metal; that's Judas Priest, all four-four pomp and guitar solos. But they nevertheless demonstrate that the essence of metal--an expressive mode it sometimes seems will be with us for as long as ordinary whiteboys fear girls, pity themselves, and are permitted to rage against a world they'll never beat--is self-obliterating volume and self-aggrandizing display. Now calling up death-metal's signature groan to prove only to prove he's authentic, poor not-actually-abused Jonathan Davis raps, recites, scats, and sings dull tunes landscaped with eerie licks, odd bridges, and a hyperactive rhythm section. How much his fans identify with "My Gift to You" ("I kiss your lifeless skin"), "Cameltosis" ("You trick-ass slut"), or the tragic "Seed" ("Do I need this fame?") remains unclear. But I'm parent enough to hope they can find a more fully formed designated someone than a guy whose idea of transgressive art is netcasting soft-core s&m to any teenager with a logon. C
>>66017013
BTFO
>>66016782
what was the point of this post?
Also Christgau's reviews of Marilyn Manson are hilarious.
>>66017013
>poor not-actually-abused Jonathan Davis
kek
>>66017013
>that's Judas Priest
You know, for a guy who never bothered reviewing any of their albums, he sure takes a lot of potshots at them without even mentioning them by name.
No Remorse [Bronze, 1984]
The critics who used to call Motorhead the worst band in the world had a point, which may be why Lemmy's high-speed metal has now turned into the thinking person's headbang. The stuff is so pure it's almost rarefied: no operatic declamations, no schlocky guitaristics, no satanism or medievalism or sci-fi or sexist s&m. Just aggression, violence, noise. Lemmy doesn't even bellow--his voice is more a hoarse, loud, one-note roar. This tasteful two-disc best-of-plus-four (new and definitive: "Killed By Death") is the first Motorhead product praised by Headheads since No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith, eight of whose eleven songs it includes (the eight best, too). Unless you've got an extra Y chromosone or beat your meat till it bleeds, you likely don't need it on a regular basis. But it'll sure come in handy at those precious moments when you want nothing so much as to smash somebody's face. A-
>>66017261
Night In The Ruts [Columbia, 1979]
This opens with a promising song about their career called "No Surprize." Then they edge ever closer to the flash guitar, dull tempos, and stupid cover versions of heavy-metal orthodoxy. No surprise. C+
>>66017261
>Headheads
>>66017134
I think even more hilarious is his review of the Pixies. Basically, Surfer Rosa and Doolitte, pretty universally considered their best albums, he considers their worst, and names everything after them as being better.
Whenever a group isn't pop as fuck, he prefers when they sell out or become more accessible.
Body Count: Body Count (Sire/Warner Bros., 1992) Exploiting and burlesquing the style's whiteskin privilege from "Smoked Pork" to "Cop Killer," Ice-T's metal album takes rap's art-ain't-life defense over the top. Not only does he off pigs, he murders his mom--because she taught him to hate white people. Then he cuts her up, sticks her well-catalogued body parts in Hefty bags, deposits same all over this great land of ours, and suggests that listeners with parents on the racist tip follow his example. For Satanism he tangles with a voodoo queen and enters the "Bowels of the Devil," a/k/a the state pen. He wilds with Tipper's 12-year-old nieces, fucks his "KKK Bitch" in the ass when a rally gets his dick hard, and fakes an orgasm for good measure. And like any long-haired frontman worth his chart position, he sings a tender ballad--in which a coke fiend steals enough money to buy the best shit, then goes cardiac when he smokes it. A-
I've been going through some of Christgau's reviews. He almost never describes the music, and never in any detail. He focuses, sometimes exclusively, on vocals and on the lyrics, and then rant about that for a paragraph.
Also he doesn't like Tommy and thinks The Who peaked on TWSO.
In The Court of The Crimson King [Atlantic, 1969]
The plus is because Pete Townshend likes it. The same can also be said of The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. Beware the forthcoming hype--this is ersatz shit. D+
>>66017756
>this is ersatz shit.
So it's not actually shit, just imitation shit?
>>66017756
>tfw you have better taste than one of rock's most prolific critics
>>66017470
This is the same guy who said the dreams metal promotes are false and destructive.
Dirty Three: Horse Stories (Touch and Go, 1996) - [Dud]
>>66017756
>ersatz shit
...
Black Sabbath [Warner Bros., 1970]
This is all the worst excesses of the counterculture on a plastic platter--drug impaired reaction times, bullshit necromancy, lengthy solos. They claim to oppose war, but if I don't believe in loving my enemies then I don't believe in loving my allies either and I've been worried that something like this would happen ever since I first saw a numerology column in an underground newspaper. C-
BTW, that was his "revised" review from the 1970s album guide he wrote in the early 80s. The original review from 1970 just said this:
Bullshit necromancy? Bullshit necromancy. E
>>66017820
>Bullshit necromancy
lmao what the fuck is that even supposed to mean
>>66017838
He means because they mention wizards and Satan in their songs.
Audioslave [Interscope, 2002] *bomb*
Out of Exile [Interscope, 2005] *bomb*
...
>>66017896
Good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7M7d8u40I4
Reign In Blood [Def Jam, 1986]
I'm not about to check out the complete works of Venom to see if you can't do better, but those who are wondering what gets Washington ladies off these days are advised to beg, buy, borrow, or steal this piece of quote, speed Satanism, un quote. Rick Rubin focused, CBS passed, guitar's quicker than a Theremin on reverb. And to cap it off, Jesus Saves mauls the enemy, which heaven knows, isn't Jesus. Or Satan either for that matter. B+
>>66018075
Gee, I wonder what kind of a charitable mood he was in that day.
Thoughts?
>>66017470
>attacks Kiss, AC/DC, GNR, and others for misogyny in rock
>gives an A to an album with a song about raping 12 year old girls
Meat Puppets: No Strings Attached (SST, 1990) "I got a shirt that cost a dollar twenty-five/I know that I'm the best-dressed man alive," sings the same goof--well, sounds more like his brother, but only their mom cares--who gets lost on the freeway/in the breezeway and escapes Satan's lake of fire in a swimming hole that sounds like heaven itself. How did music so resilient bubble out of the desert wastes? How did music so sweet top hardcore mess? No one ever accused them of reliability, but in this astutely compiled account, having established their noisy principles and done "Tumblin' Tumbleweeds" as Sid's "My Way," they never touch the ground. Amerindie at its most blessed. A
...Is he schizophrenic or something? Because if you just look at the text, ignoring the framework of it being a review, it's like something a madman would write.
Metallica: Metallica (Elektra, 1991) Dud
Metallica: Load (Elektra, 1996) One of the nice things about being old is that I'm neither wired to like metal nor tempted to fake it. Just as I figured, these here-come-the-new-heroes-same-as-the-old-heroes could no more make a "grunge" album than they could do double-entry bookkeeping. Grunge simply isn't their metier. So no matter what riff neatniks think, for outsiders this is just a metal record with less solo room, which is good because it concentrates their chops, and more singing, which isn't because they can't. C+
What do you think of Living Colour?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YAA7nivQng
They're releasing a new album sometime this year.
>>66018178
He also gave Done With Mirrors a B+ after it was dismissed by a Rolling Stone review for misogyny of the lowest and most disgusting.
>>66014653
>>66014679
Was done way before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CGwnwKaF10
>>66018356
Wew, I almost forgot these guys use to not be complete shit
Notorious B.I.G.: Ready to Die (Bad Boy, 1994) As a white person in an integrated, how do we say it, nabe, I should breathe a sigh of relief that pithy Christopher Wallace seems content to exploit his own people--"I been robbin' motherfuckers since the slave ship," or, if you prefer, "I be beatin' motherfuckers like Ike beat Tina." As a male person, I should be grateful he doesn't want to pimp my kind either. But because I live a lot farther from the edge, these things don't make me feel better at all--I'm outraged when anyone gets robbed, beaten, or pimped, descendants of slaves especially. Hence I'm not inclined to like this motherfucker. But the more I listen the more I do. Wiping the cold out of his eyes at 5:47 a.m. or pulling his gat as the wrong guy comes down the street, he commands more details than any West Coast gangsta except carbetbagging Ice-T. His sex raps are erotic, his jokes are funny, and his music makes the thug life sound scary rather than luxuriously laid back. When he considers suicide, I not only take him at his word, I actively hope he finds another way. A-
What is his fucking deal with hip hop
>>66016076
And even by that definition it still would be music
>>66018356
I hate the screen shaking meme in metal videos.
>>66018414
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hipster_racism
>>66015544
>"people"
what did he mean by this?
>>66018414
>as a male person
>>66018414
>Wiping the cold out of his eyes at 5:47 a.m. or pulling his gat as the wrong guy comes down the street, he commands more details than any West Coast gangsta except carbetbagging Ice-T
I know that Christgau was not big on Tupac but then that's his East Coast/New Yorker-centric bias.
When does one "wipe the cold out of" their eyes?
Californication [Warner Bros., 1999]
New Age fuck fiends ("Scar Tissue", "Purple Stain") **
>>66018189
I understand what he's saying, but he doesn't word things in exactly the most legible fashion.
Is the Rollins Band considered metal?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMLv1MWKrso
The End of Silence [Imago, 1992] Dud
Weight [Imago, 1994] Dud
Come In and Burn [DreamWorks, 1997]
Success doesn't suit this drug addict, who will kick caffeine only when they synthesize rage itself. Since I got big yucks out of 1992's spoken-word twofer The Boxed Life, which recalled a lab-assistant job and other homely pursuits, I am entitled to grouse about the grim star diary that is 1997's spoken-word twofer Black Coffee Blues. And while it's no surprise that this thrash-and-churn is his metalest metal ever, it's amazing that Spielberg-Katzenberg-Geffen made Rollins their flagship rocker--for all his corp clout and cult cred, he was off the charts a month after he muscled on. As pathetic as it is for aging Spinal Taps to fabricate melodrama out of an adolescent despair they remember via groupies and fan mail, it's even more pathetic never to feel anything else. C-
>>66018414
>As a male person, I should be grateful he doesn't want to pimp my kind either.
The mental image of that almost made be spit water onto my keyboard.
Henry's Dream [Mute/Elektra, 1992]
Cave's admirers crow about his literary virtues--a rock musician who's actually published a novel! and scripted a film! about John Henry Abbott, how highbrow! Then they proffer dismal examples like "I am the captain of my pain," or the bordello containing--what an eye the man has--a whalebone corset! (Whalebone is very literary--it hasn't been used in underwear since well before Nick was born.) If this is your idea of great writing, you may be ripe for his cult. Otherwise, forget it--the voice alone definitely won't do the trick. C
>>66018541
I kind of get what he's saying too, but at the same time, it is not effective at all as an album review. I have no idea what the album sounds like from that description, and barely what genre it is.
Even when you set aside whether he's right or not about the quality of the album, he's a terrible review writer.
so this thread is a joke right ?
4chan is 18+
Hybrid Theory [Warner Bros., 1999]
the men don't know what the angry boys do ("Papercut", "Points of Authority") **
>>66018621
Why hello there. Have you been here before? I don't remember your trip.
>>66018621
pretty sure it's just one autist that's been spamming this stuff for the last two hours
>>66018651
i came here from reddit today and i am dissaponted
>>66018409
This was actually the first Deathcore song I unironically liked...
>>66018683
Well then let me welcome you to /metal/. So are you commenting on the edition of the thread or the content of the posts?
Tonight The Stars Revolt [DreamWorks, 1999] *bomb*
>>66018710
im saying metal is for children and im going to write a rap about how gay this thread is
>>66018609
I'm forever near my stereo saying "What the fuck is this!?" And the answer is always RHCP.
>>66018726
Well lets see it then, by all means.
What does /metal/ think of Acid Bath? They're one of my favorite bands.
>>66018745
i am not going to show it to you cause you will steal it
>>66018755
I like them, but I don't consider them sludge like others do. At least I don't consider WKSP sludge. Yeah, the first 3-4 tracks sound kinda doom, but then the album gets really, really twisted. That's where they got the album name if you ask me. It creates a false sense of security.
>>66018788
Well that's certainly understandable.
>>66015544
I really want to beat the shit out of Robert Christgau.
>>66018621
>thinking he can out shitposting the shitposting general
>>66018859
Try killing him with your big fucking dick.
>>66018862
do not (you) me or my son ever again
>>66018926
Oh, so, you have a son, how wonderful. How old is he?
>>66018950
are you really trying to start a fist fight with me ?
>>66012354
It's a lot more punk/hard rock than most of their other stuff.
>>66018971
Why no not at all, what gave you that idea?
Jesse poster is shifting into maximum overmeme
>>66019001
ill paintball you irl
Old Emperor worth checking out? I mean the stuff before ItHE
someone's asking to get thrashed by the sound of it
>>66019015
Where's all this hostility coming from Tony? May I call you Tony?
>>66019072
>May I call you Tony?
no just answer my question
>>66019087
Which question is that Tony?
>>66019108
guess
>>66019062
Why not check it out? There's only like an hour of material
>>66019144
If it's a wank fest like later Emperor i don't want it
>>66019126
"are you really trying to start a fist fight with me ?"
Because I answered that. No.
>>66019062
Hell the fuck yes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX--Q49ChZQ
>>66019164
you understand that i throw bows when i get in a fight ? when i decide to get ruff you do not have a choice
*rough
>>66019200
So then why ask if I'm challenging you if, for you, it's a forgone conclusion that we're going to fight.
And no, I don't understand that you "throw bows" when you fight. Like bow and arrow things? You throw the actual bows?
>>66019228
I was hoping dogs would be involved. Disappointing.
>>66019200
>ruff
Careful not to summon preacher
>>66019256
i throw bows thats just what i do
i can feel the fear in your posts
>>66019292
So you do in fact throw bows, as in bow and arrows?
And the fist-fight thing was the question, right?
So are we gonna fight or what?
>>66019292
>not challenging him to a crossbow duel
Do you even meme?
>>66018755
I love that band. When the first album came out in like 1994, I was blown away. I still spin it all the time. And the second album has really grown on me over the years.
ITT Fight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RMggIaAhiI
>>66019330
yes we will fight
i will fight you irl
>>66019409
Alright then let's do it.
>>66019435
you sure ?
im literally a really good fighter
>>66019462
Absolutely.
>>66019488
i listen to eminem and throw bows
http://www.radioking.com/play/wivaria
This is going okay. He played some metallica some old school. Gonna play Type O Negative soon
http://us21.chatzy.com/59909875845885
Make requests here
>>66019496
Okay. Good. Good for you.
Still not sure what throwing bows is.
>>66019535
you will see
your FACE will see
>>66019555
Looking forward to it T-bone.
Shit's about to get ugly here, quick, get in the new thread and let these fags fuck or whatever
>>66019569
>>66019569
>>66019569
>>66019591
i promise we will fight sometime
>>66019612
Looking forward to it T-bone.
Looking forward to it T-bone.
Looking forward to it...T-bone.
![g00276jdmsg[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/JNbNSB1.jpg "g00276jdmsg[1]")
