so /mu/, what's your most autistic music-related fantasy? imagining being interviewed? meeting other semi-famous musicians at an after-party? spill em here
being interviewed, i like to talk to myself a lot and sometimes record myself talking as if i'm livestreaming or something. then i play them back and realize i'm a very boring and lonely person
Going back in time and writing music that hasn't come out yet
>>65209899
Did Bjork gain weight?
>>65210269
>i like to talk to myself a lot
Same
thinking up how i'd be photographed, album covers, interviews, live shows, scandals, twitter rants, drug use, early death
>>65209899
whatever dean blunt or sufjan is doing atm is my goal
making music and getting money in peace without having to deal with shitty interviews and talking to "fans"
I always get pissed off when the interview ask generic questions u could have learn from the artist wikipedia page
>blasting the stereo at full volume playing guitar music
>standing on the bed naked
>get an erection
>strumming my hard cock and pretend that i'm the lead guitarist
Every now and then, I like to imagine that I've become a moderately successful up-and-coming lo-fi/ indie artist making pretty little ditties you can hum to. I haven't totally blown up yet but after a few years of demos and EPs I've finally put out my first album to a pretty warm reception. Strong 7 from Fantano, light 8.X from p4k but no BNM. Anyway, I'm touring this album and after the show I wait at the venue's exit literally giving people the album for free. I drag hundreds of copies of this CD around with me for the whole tour, making sure every single person leaves with one. If anyone asks why I'm doing this I just explain it away saying I make all my money from touring. Everyone thanks me, leaving thinking "what a cool guy" - even the ones who didn't really like the gig. Of course, for many of them it's little more than a pretty coaster, but there will be some who decide to stick it on maybe a few days after the gig. They grab themselves a coffee, kick back, and put the record on. The first thing they hear is the compressed crunch of overproduced rawk geetarz, followed by:
>SAWWWWWWW!
>AHYABREATHIN?
>SAWWWWWWW!
>AHYABREATHIN?
>NO! NO!
They recoil slightly, wondering exactly what they're listening to. Some of them may find it vaguely familiar. Some of them will skip it after a minute or so, assuming it to be a lame joke. Either way, the next track starts with some funky techno beats, until a whiny sounding voice starts singing the following poetry:
>Tell me exactly what I am supposed to do?
>Now that I have allowed you to BEAT MEH!
(1/2)
>>65210464
By this point they begin to get agitated, so they flip the case over and examine the tracklisting. "02 - This Day Is Like A Dream" it says. So what the fuck is this shit? They begin skipping tracks furiously now - every single track begins with a few seconds of a downtuned riff followed by some of the most ridiculous angst vocals ever committed to tape. Because you see, what they're actually listening to is a copy of Disturbed's 2000 debut album "The Sickness". That's right, I've actually burnt thousands of copies of this album to disc, disguised it as my own album, hired a van to carry them round with me across the country and personally handed them to every single member of the audience.
I don't know why this is so funny to me but I think about it a lot. I mean, not all the time, but definitely way more than I should. The mere thought of it can reduce me to tears of laughter - imagining the people being paid to drive around copies of an album I pirated, imagining the fans' gradual reaction as the penny drops, imagining it becoming a meme and dividing my fanbase with some of them thinking it's a hilarious stunt while others completely disown my work, imagining Disturbed's legal team actually getting in touch and sincerely threatening me with legal action over it. I'm literally giggling just typing this now. It has to be this album too, I tried picturing it with Hybrid Theory or Chocolate Starfish and it just wasn't as funny. So yeah, that's my thoughts. Stay stupified, /mu/
(2/2)
>>65210327
she's always been a bit on the chubby side
>>65210322
Oh god me too!
Or going back to the 50s with a hard drive full of music (and the means to transfer it to LPs) and blowing kids minds
Releasing dozens of free jazz albums but never giving a single interview. I want to be the Jandek of Free Jazz
>>65209899
Narduwar interviews me
>Asks me about Saturdays = Youth and George Michael
>Finds video of me performing in high school
>Asks me about the years I spent battling depression before becoming the voice of struggling autists the world over
>gives me a boxing glove as a memento of the time I kicked father john misty's ass for being a smug fuckwit
>>65210269
Holy shit I relate to this
>>65209899
Who is this semen demon?
>>65210487
This is the funniest shit I've read all week. Thanks
>>65210269
This but it all stays strictly in my mind
>>65210464
>>65210487
>checks archive
>it isn't pasta
>>65211417
this 100%
>>65209899
I intentionally keep my music as unknown as I can in the hope that I will one day have widely sought after music that nobody will have heard just like Boards of Canada and GYBE do. It will be all mine and nobody else will be able to hear it.
>>65211472
>like Boards of Canada
fuck you anon
Way too much autistic stuff. I've dreamed up an entire career for myself. I've imagined all the album art, band names, what my artist name would be, what venues I'd play across the nation, the musicians I like already who I'd collab with, the record label I'd eventually start, the various instruments I'd play, the lyrics I'd write, what stage presence and image I'd have, etc. I even have entire songs written out in my head that I have no idea how to transfer to paper.
I'm also 19 years old and have never touched an instrument nor have I ever tried singing, so none of that will ever happen because it's too late for me to get started.
>>65211495
I know, I hate it, too. But my disappointment at the way they hoard their old music is what makes me want to do it out of spite.
>>65210464
>>65210487
absolutely brilliant
>>65209899
When I was in middle school.
Every time I listened to music I would close my eyes and imagine I was in a band covering that song.
If it was a male singer I would be singing and if it was a female singer I pictured it was this girl I liked.
I did this with everything I listened to.
>>65210487
The way you think is honestly beautiful
>>65211515
>Girl you liked
>Not yourself in drag
What a nerd.
>>65210322
I think this all the time. I always winder for example if I released Nevermind in like 1980, how would have it affected Kurt? Would he just make better music? Would he not at all?
That and being interviewed. I always imagine my smooth answers but know deep down I'd sound like an autistic asshole who everyone would hate
>>65211498
>19
>Too late to get started
With that attitude, no one would want to hear your shitty music anyway. Live your dreams, dog.
Having some kind of high-tech DAW and being able to use it
Also being able to remember some fucking chords and melodies
>>65211498
Never too late to have fun anon.
>>65211533
this
gotta have that feminine penis anon
>>65210464
>>65210487
jesus christ
well this is definitely the most autistic
meeting kendrick lamar at a studio
which isn't too far fetched I suppose since I'm two degrees of separation away from schoolboy q and absoul
i guess it's not a fantasy, it's more of a sliver of a possibility that would be neat if it happened
>>65211562
>Having some kind of high-tech DAW and being able to use it
This is something that is possible to do right now
>>65210838
But Jandek has given interviews
Honestly? Just getting a fucking EP put together and out.
When I was an FLStudio kiddie I'd write basic melodies and piss about and upload stuff to SoundCloud, these days I know a lot more about various DAWs but I'm almost paralysed by the predictability of it all.
I want to collab with Keiji Haino and Jim O'Rourke.
>>65210464
>>65210487
Damn..
I sometimes talk to myself as if I'm answering interview question, but only after long periods of time of not speaking to anyone
It's progressed to worse than that when those periods gets very long... It's basically scared me into being more social and outgoing cause I'm genuinely frightened of going mad
>>65211417
this this
>>65211533
>>65211565
It was P bad tbqh senpai.
I almost stole the family car because I had a dream that same girl was in trouble and was going to leave in the middle of the night to the school we went to together (which actually doesn't make sense she she would've been at home).
I couldn't figure out how to start it though and my parents woke up and found me.
>>65210464
>>65210487
I was gonna say showing people my music, but I'd like to change my answer to this now
>>65211694
you're fine, anon. most people talk to themselves when nobody else is around
>>65209899
Definitely being reviewed by Antoine Fantoine on his bandcamp discoveries.
I would be so amazed and scared at the same time that I would hide for at least a month in the woods.
>>65210269
>>65210354
>>65210978
lots of people do this, it's not particularly weird or uncommon
>>65209899
Shitting and pissing on my audience and being regarded as some avant-artist by intellectuals
Being a indie musician who is revered in the indie community, like Jeff Mangum or Phil Elverum. I guess I just find the small, but dedicated fanbase endearing
>>65210929
he would rough you up
>>65210464
>>65210487
DISTURBED IN THE HOUSE WE DROPPIN PUH-LATES
>>65212244
Forgot all about that song. Thanks
Dubs checked as well
>>65209899
sometimes I imagine I'm famous and doing an AMA on /mu/
