Album Reviews Thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /mu/ - Music
You are currently reading a thread in /mu/ - Music
Post any/all interesting reviews you've discovered while browsing wherever.
Quality and cringe welcome.
That one's cringe right?
>>64703400
The very subject matter being reviewed isn't without controversy, but truth be told, it's well written.
I'd like the review more if it wasn't so fucking long. It seems the guy's trying way too hard to seem erudite and sophisticated.
Sharing the most cringeworthy review I've ever seen.
>>64703650
I don't like Weezer either, but Christ, I can taste the euphoria in that screed.
>>64703650
jesus christ ALL OF THAT INSECURITY
wow
>>64703705
Oh yeah, don't forget the passive aggression, either.
>>64703400
It's pretentious as.fuck, especially for a white power album, but it isn't horrible. It's better than this piece of shit.
>>64703650
posting the worst i have seen
One of my reviews
>>64704570
That whole page is fucking cancerous. I especially love the ones who hated the new James Blake for being boring and not experimental enough, but thought that this was just the greatest thing in the fucking universe.
Why are diary entry "reviews" allowed?
Sharing a good review now
This shit really needs to stop. These fucking one-line pseudo-poetic falsely introspective wankfests need to be put to an end. I hate this.
>>64705333
That's all that RYM is
a site for psuedo-intellectuals to post their one-liners or diary entries they thought up while listening to their favorite Pitchfork core
So Radiohead fans, really.
>>64705333
To be fair Lines is a fucking great album.
>>64705395
It is. I even gave it the same rating.
So, to rank, which one's the best ITT? The worst?
>>64705607
You're one of the ones who posted your own review huh?
>>64705890
Maybe. Maybe not ;)
Getting serious, the one you posted was well written and witty.
>>64705955
Thanks, it's not mine but that guy perfectly expressed in writing how I feel about the backlash against VW.
If you did post one of your reviews and tell me which one it was I'll give you an honest opinion on it if you're looking for feedback.
>>64706009
Confession: OP
The filename is sort of a giveaway
It is fair to say that a few years ago, before I met Heather, Joanna Newsom would have been the ideal girl for me. If we had been in school together I would have always tried to get the seat next to hers in biology class so we could laugh and giggle at anatomy diagrams, or I would stand behind her in the lunch queue to smell her golden locks, or even give up my space in the lunch queue so she could get the best choice of chicken breast. I would have tried to look deep and thoughtful by frowning a lot and growing a fuzz moustache and scratching ironic cries for help in to my desk. She would no doubt have spurned my somewhat creepy and stalker-like advances with just as much indifference as she would have spurned my chivalrous actions as she would have been, on the evidence of Ys, far too deep a thinker for my teenage brain, fascinated rather than amused by anatomy, and ironic and funny without having to pretend.
She would have been my kind of gal because she was beautiful in a non-threatening way, highly original in her thought process, creative, alternative, smart, and so cute you could almost commit the accidental crime of squeezing all of the life out of her with overbearing affection. Had I been a more interesting, original and talented guy and did not come across in the least bit creepy, then perhaps, had we ever met (I must remember that this is pure fantasy), she might have let me be her boyfriend and then a few years later when she recorded her masterpiece, Ys, I could have had the honour of performing the baritone male vocal accompaniment part on "Only Skin" which, due to it's tumbling and vibrant nature, is my personal highlight on this record which is packed full of highlights, so packed, in fact, that there is no room for choruses or traditional song structures as we were used to on The Milk-Eyed Mender.
>>64705333
this shit is so weak
write an actual review you lazy cunts
>>64706064
Instead we are treated to unravelling musical fairy tales which possess an undercurrent of the nightmarish world of Louis Carrol or the Brother's Grimm as the line between adolescence and adulthood is heartbreakingly blurred.
However, had Joanna and I met and fallen in love then it could not have been guaranteed that she would have ever recorded such a colossal record as this as, according to Doc Emmit Brown, the space/time continuum would have been disrupted and I may have dragged her down into my sad little life and not allowed her to follow the path of magic and wonder which she must have taken to invent the world in which the stories which comprise Ys take place in. I find it hard to imagine Joanna sitting down and having a normal breakfast of cereal; her music makes me presume that she runs through endless fields of corn causing butterflies to flee ahead of her skipping body as she gathers cereal and wheat with which to make bread through some magic process involving a nice equivalent of a cauldron.
>>64706085
I hate to think that at night she relaxes in front of the television; I assume, by listening to her music, that she is no doubt out after dark, her path lit by glowing fire flies, gathering moon beams in a basket. She does not lie in bed and frolic with some hairy man who falls asleep after he has released his desire into her; she stays up all night and tells stories to the animals who gather in hushed wonder in the collected moonlight she leaves outside of her window.
No, had I ever met and seduced a young Joanna it is highly possible that none of these images would seem even remotely possible; the normality would overpower the magic as it inevitably does, and the world would have lost a precious gem. And for not depriving the world of that, I should be thanked.
>>64706064
oh jesus christ almighty this is the WORST fucking review I've ever seen, not only is it insanely stupid and not talk about anything at all, it just completely focuses on the reviewers fantasy about fucking joanna newsom. surprised it hasn't been called out as misogynistic, actually.
>>64706118
A woman and her harp.
Strum me away to fantasy land you magniloquent minstrel. My boner increases in girth with each wheat-fingered fleck of your yew-stringed lullaby maker.
And that voice, it's like angels fingering each other in helium heaven while pedophiles masturbate in hell.
Yes this album has it all. Oh, how I pine for a life in Narnia where I can see the computer generated deepthroating lion or make love to bizzaro Galadriel, and this album makes it a reality + mescaline.
Stand naked in a half full bubblebath and pour this album over yourself like oil paint. Rub it into your filthy body, and always remember to scrub behind your ears and underneath your nuts.
>>64706118
A woman and her harp.
Strum me away to fantasy land you magniloquent minstrel. My boner increases in girth with each wheat-fingered fleck of your yew-stringed lullaby maker.
And that voice, it's like angels fingering each other in helium heaven while pedophiles masturbate in hell.
Yes this album has it all. Oh, how I pine for a life in Narnia where I can see the computer generated deepthroating lion or make love to bizzaro Galadriel, and this album makes it a reality + mescaline.
Stand naked in a half full bubblebath and pour this album over yourself like oil paint. Rub it into your filthy body, and always remember to scrub behind your ears and underneath your nuts
The Village Vanguard. New York City. 1961.
We was sittin’ there watchin’ the stage. Waitin’ for the man they called Coltrane to come out and do his thing. It was me and my four droogs. Them bein’ Peter, Georgio and Dim; Dim being really Dim.
‘Round an hour’d passed and the place was packed straight through to the back. I’d just dropped some dollars for ‘Trane’s Giant Steps six months back. Now was the time, this was the place. The Village Vanguard. New York City. 1961.
I was only there for the first night, see, but them cats at Impulse! just made my life complete. They put out four CDs of all that sound ‘Trane put out those nights. But you know my type, man. Can’t afford to eat, let alone spend some heavy cash on music. So I only got the essential. Live at the Village Vanguard: The Master Takes is one disc, makin’ it one-fourth the cost of the box set. And you only get the best stuff.
Man, the opening beauty of “Spiritual…” It’s like a dream I had: I floated on the River Nile, smokin’ some fresh weed, relaxin’. But I ain’t ever gonna see the Nile anyhow. This track’s as close as I come, and it’s close enough. Best of the best, though, has gotta be “India.” It’s only when you listen to a perfect old jazz tune like this that you realize how much drum-n-bass is derived from this music. ‘Trane takes it to heaven and back with some style, man. Some richness, daddy. It’s a sad thing his life was cut short by them jaws o’ death.
Shit, cat. It don’t make a difference. The man produced enough good music to last me a lifetime. This Village Vanguard thing’s just another example of the genius of Coltrane.
>>64706064
>>64706085
>>64706113
(not music related, by the way)
This review is legendarily cringeworthy and for good reason
>>64706226
Why thank you Mr. Postman, I will renew my subscription to Fiona Apple Lesbian Kiss monthly.
Tip? Yeah, here's a tip; get a real job, the postal service is a dying daddy long legs, burning under the sweltering Mellotronic sun.
Don't expect me to write about the album, she's talking in tongues or whatever, I have no idea what the fuck she's on about but she sounds like a little child on Valium. Like a victim of torture in between counseling sessions where she's doped up so she can't feel feelings or something. It's sad that she can't feel because she brings so many different feelings out of me, and nearly 80% of them are legal to act upon.
I want to stroke her head and tell her everything is all Punky Brewster in lollipop land, but that would be lying, and that goes against the various religious autocracies demarcating most of lollipop land
>>64706254
>Don't expect me to write about the album
Then why have you published this as an album review you dense shit
>>64706305
>Then why have you published this as an album review you dense shit
I didn't write it. It comes courtesy of the legendary Kojiri of RYM. He's long been since banned along with GrindcoreKaraoke for their troll reviews, although Kojiri had a history of writing graphic death threats to RYM's mods.
>>64706376
I know, it was just a response to that one line which makes absolutely no fucking sense.
He's been banned now? Finally, that godawful review is gone
>>64703322
Montie has some good reviews
>>64706415
He's been banned for years. I think it was 2008 he was banned.
His reviews can still be accessed via editing the hyperlink to go directly to his reviews.
>>64706052
It's alright. The first part of the review definitely seems geared towards someone who is already familiar with this type of music, and I'm not, so most of the first few paragraphs didn't mean much to me. If there had been one brief paragraph before those explaining the band and it's scene in a more broad context, the review would make a lot more sense to a newcomer. I don't know what demographic this piece is targeted to though.
The overview of the bands flaws gives a good idea of how this fits in with their discography though, even though I don't know any of it. I generally don't like it when reviewers do song-by-song breakdowns of albums. That seems like information that is more pertinent to people who have already formed their own opinions of the music, and is usually superfluous information to someone who hasn't yet. So whether or not that's good again depends on who this review is targeted towards.
Overall it's pretty decent, I would say make the backstory on the band a bit more succinct, and add some broader context if you want the general population to understand that backstory. Work on the actual description of the music a bit too, things like "catchy mid-tempo riffs" and "compelling progressions" don't tell much.
Was this published on RYM or another website?
>>64706479
Damm, apparently someone reposted his review for Ys on the page back in 2009.
Looks like that eyesore isn't going away anytime
>>64706376
is there an archive of all of his reviews anywhere?
does anybody here review albums on albumoftheyear.org?
>>64706518
Yep. You can find it along with my other musings here:
https://rateyourmusic.com/collection/asadv/reviews
>>64706526
>>64706543
https://rateyourmusic.com/collection/Kojiri/reviews
>>64706518
Much had been written about George Burdi and his involvement in the scene (especially his decision to desert the movement once he was a free man), so I wanted to keep my review focused on the music and the album in context with both their own discography and the white nationalist music scene. I could've exposited more on skinhead Oi! and RAC, but I feared it would have been a tedium for both the uninitiated and the few readers already in-the-know. I tried to keep a balance for writing to both audiences, but I doubt I succeeded.
I agree track-by-track reviews are annoying, but I tried to mention them with enough detail to highlight the merits and flaws and how they help/hinder the listening experience.
I'll confess my knowledge of music theory and musicology is thin, so I didn't want to overcompensate. I especially didn't want to misuse terms, so I tried to keep the description as accurate as I could.
>>64706518
My review for Kontingent's "Générations futures" is more succinct
>>64706478
Cringe.
