Fellow Pitchfork patricians, it is once again the time for our nightly countdown for Pitchfork's 5 new reviews to be updated on the site at 1am eastern time.
10.0?
0.0?
Best New Music?
Best New Reissue?
8.0+ with no BNM?
A shitty set of 7's and below?
Weird Al’s eternal BNM incoming hypetrain!
Noctourniquetcourtsney Barnett Review?
Titus Andronicus being robbed once again?
Ian FUCKIN' Cohen?
Ryan "THE TASTEMAKER" Dombal?
Lindsay "qt feminist" Zoladz? [retired patrician, memory lives on forever]
Jayson "8.7" Greene?
Larry "retired BNM godfather" Fitzmaurice?
Craig "Meme Rap" Jenkins?
Brandon “Meme Metal” Stosuy?
qt Kim "retired Meal Goddess now at Noisey" Kelly?
Grayson "Grizzly" Currin?
Brian "Backup" Howe?
Mark "the elder statesman" Richardson?
Evan "IS GARAGE ROCK DEAD" Minsker?
Meaghan “retired trap queen" Garvey?
Andy "secretly alpha" Beta?
Zoe "¡DALE!" Camp?
Philip "Electronic Wizard” Sherburne?
Stephen "M." Deusner?
Laura "Sun Kil Buffoon" Snapes?
Will someone dethrone Kanye West's 30 out of 10 for AOTY?
OFFICIAL and accurate 2016 BNM Tally: 12
The most wonderful time of the night, every night, right now. Here it is, the nightly P4K thread. Time to get comfy.
>P4K Collection Rar (Over 300 deleted reviews, pics of every staff member, very badly needs to be updated)
https://mega.nz/#!zoQGBCYK!evBav1uwKekImmse6g35z2lRgdGXxxUh8nyVSTyShl0
>Tonight's Top Stories
-This thread stands with Kesha eternally
-Someone actually posted the thread tonight
-This thread hypes and supports DIIV, Bat for Lashes, The Field, Mike and the Melvins, M83, PJ Harvey, Tim Hecker, and Islands
Fuck Donald Trump 10.0 BNM AOTY
So I recently got into Chris Ott. What do you guys think of him?
Reminder +@ was not robbed
Any 2012 friends remember this band? They just released a new album and it's great:
https://niechec.bandcamp.com
>>63697204
he's a creep. dunno what his deal is with hating car seat headrest
So what are some of the best/ most interesting reviews Pitchfork pulled?
Dead Sara - Pleasure To Meet You 8.3 BNM
>>63697178
You're level of knowledge about p4k is slightly disturbing. Oh yeah and you forgot Jeremy Gordon
>>63697724
:^)
>>63697885
>calls Pitchfork gay
Classic Ryan Schreiber review
>>63697938
kek
I was referring to Universal Themes, though.
>Someone actually posted the thread tonight
And it was Weezer night yesterday, too, plus Thugger(!), so it might have been a busier and memeier thread than usual. Oh well.
Anyways, what's everyone listening to tonight?
>>63697178
>-Someone actually posted the thread tonight
Seriously, how in the fuck did no one make a thread last night? Weezer and Thugger in the same night, with the former being a Zoe review.
>>63698354
we all knew p4k was gonna give thugger praise and hype his debut album, it was the function of the mixtape. nothing needs to be written, nothing needs to be read.
>>63698274
>>63698354
>complaining about not having a thread last nite
I don't understand. Why didn't you make the thread?
>>63697724
I like DiCrescenzo's old concept reviews, like the one where he's talking to his therapist about liking a Korn album and he just gives it a 6.9.
Also there's the one where they review jet by posting a vid of a monkey pissing in its own mouth
oh wait, you mean actual good reviews. Shit, uhh...idk.
>>63698473
>you mean actual good reviews
good point. i've been reading p4k for years and can't recall off the top of my head one review that impressed or affected me with it's writing.
that isn't true when it comes to TMT, though I don't always enjoy the music, and my all-time favorite site, Cokemachineglow (RIP ;_;7)
>>63697724
The Camp review is as savage as it is well written
>>63698274
>>63698472
Since we didn't have a thread last night for some reason, I'll post last night's Bizarro P4K update now. Before that, I should tell you guys I may not be able to post in here tomorrow because I'll be travelling. Just wanted to let you know.
Anyway, PREVIOUSLY ON BIZARRO-P4K:
Birkut reviews an avant-garde release, Zach Cooper's "The Sentence". I guess we didn't miss much with the thread not being posted.
>label: Styles Upon Styles
>styles (upon styles): dialectical lyric
>others: Taylor Deupree, James Blake, The Books
>http://www.tinymixtapes.com/music-review/zach-cooper-sentence
>>63698616
It's pretty hard to write about music but somehow Pitchfork can't even do anything decent. I think the one that impressed me the most was their Carrie and Lowell review that said it was Sufjan's best album right in the lede. It was a bold statement, but more importantly, they decided to be direct and to the point for fucking once.
>azalalali banks no BNM
>not even cuckfork can defend her anymore
NIGHTLY RUNDOWN
Azealia Banks 7.4 by Britt Julious
Charles Bradley 7.1 by Jay Balfour
Black Mountain 7.5 by Stuart Berman
Mike and the Melvins 7.0 by Saby Reyes-Kulkarni
The Monochrome Set 8.2 by Douglas Wolk
>>63699124
>posting b8 this easy
>>63698660
Agreed, it was a score that russtled a lot jimmies, but the hypebeasts couldn't find anything to disagree with in the review itself, classic takedown
>>63699136
thanks man
>>63699162
>
>anything i don't like is bait
shut the fuck up faggot
>>63699221
>being this triggered
>empty greentext
what can you do right anon?
>>63699233
>empty greentext
are you retarded? the sole meme arrow means "implying", fucking newshit.
>>63699244
oh it does?
sorry I just use /mu/, I have shit to do
is it just me or does the Slay Z review spend more time talking about Broke With Expensive Taste than it does about the actual mixtape it's suppose to be reviewing?
>>63699297
Pitchfork recipe baby
3/4 context
1/8 quips
1/8 review
throw in some unnecessary refrences and you just wrote a review baby
>>63699314
>Let me give it a shot
What's wrong with music these days. It seems like unless you have borderline suicidal issues then no one pays attention to your music anymore. Aaron Marsh wrote his debut when he was going through depression. Both his grandmother and his girlfriend were hospitalized while writing this album. And these themes are conveyed throughout the album.
While Marsh's soft swooning vocals can occasionally be pretty. It typically distracts from the rest of his harmonies. As a result, his music is kinda murky (kinda like a marsh, which is funny because his name is Marsh amirite?)
Anyways, You try too hard Aaron Marsh
6.4 / 10
- Ian Cohen
>>63699674
pretty fucking dank tbqh famalino
