ITT: We make up bullshit pony facts
>>27876960
All ponies are sexually attracted to me.
>>27876960
They are real.
>>27876966
/thread
>>27876960
Cadance is good waifu material
>>27876960
Ponies never die, they just get cock vored by Celestia past a certain point. She's the Grim Sheather.
>>27876960
Flitter eats from the shitter.
When in heat, an earth pony mare's vaginal muscles can crush steel.
Protect your genitals at all costs if you suspect one may be in estrus.
>>27876991
Nice try, CMC ;^)
>>27876998
>"I've got balls of steel!"
>>27876998
>implying my fetish isn't crushed genitals
pleb.
>>27876960
Did you know that if you look under a truck, Flurry Heart will attack you?
>>27877003
Go back to your huge breasts anthro favorites on derpibooru, Taze.
>>27876960
>that picture
>Cadance is Yzma
>Spike is Kronk
>Zephyr is Cuzco
>Dashie is the chick Cuzco hits in in emperor's new school
>Fluttershy is Pacha
I never knew how much I needed this.
When a mare stares at you like this for a long time, her face can turn neutron stars into black holes
>>27876989
>Grim Sheather
underrated
Unicorn horns draw their energy from dark energy; the presence of ponies is slowly leading to the gravitational collapse of the universe as physical space is being converted into energy by them.
Alicorn wings can become comically large over a period of time, requiring trimming at certain periods. Hence why Flurry, though still only an infant, has wings larger than her body.
>>27877026
>implying
>>27876960
Ponies cant feel sexual stimulation
They just fuck for procreation
Luna's bad mental health is a result of her sexual frustration.
In fact, sexual frustration causes Alicorns in particular to go haywire.
Equestria is somewhere out there, beyond the Known Universe
But because of entropy, it is very likely to be a totally diferent Equestria rather than the one we see in the show
Alicorns cannot normally reproduce with Mortal ponies because their Godly egg cells are too strong to be penetrated by Mortal sperm cells, and their wombs will crush Non-pure blooded half breeds with their stronger muscles during birth.
Shining armor is the result of over a thousand years of eugenics by Celestia to breed a stallion who's sperm is magically strong enough to interbreed with alicorns.
>>27877174
What if a malecorn fucked a mare?
>>27876960
Did you know that rape doesn't exist in Equestria? It's not rape when its willing!
>>27877181
The mare would die horribly from the alicorn baby inside them being too powerful to be contained by a mortal Mare's womb.
They'd be kicked to death from the inside.
Did you know that if a pony reaches the age of 18 and is still a blank flank they are sold to humans as sex slaves? Prices range from $2,000 to $40,000, the blank flanks family is threatened to keep quiet about this, and this practice earns the Equestrian Government over 2 billion bits a year!
>>27877255
Dubs confirm blank flank slavery
>>27877255
Is there a standard US dollar to bit ratio?
Equestria is teetering on the edge of genetic death from the sheer lack of genetic diversity in ponies, their population decreases each year.
There are less than one million pones left.
>>27877313
about $5 to every one bit.
>>27876960
OP is not a faggot
>>27877384
Bullshit. It costs about 2 bits for a tomato in the ponyville marketplace. That's 10 dollars for a tomato.
>>27876977
Ponies are real you dumb city boy.
>>27876989
>Granny Smith has survived so long because Celestia just LOVES Zap Apple jam and can't bring herself to end the pony who's the best at it
also
>there are many underground reservoirs filled with her cum
>if she ever believes not even the Power of Love or the Elements can save the day, a simple regeneration spell can "reanimate" thousands if not millions of ponies
>>27877361
>you fuck your waifu
>you transmit a minor std
>it's the pony Black Death
>it spreads between them without sexual contact
>all ponies dead in a year because of you
>>27877570
>Cum disposal
>Not keeping them all trapped inside her gonad heaven as a pile of cum
Shrinking balls after CV is my fetish
>>27876960
Littlepip is into mares.
>>27876960
All stallions in the show are straight.
>>27877433
it's an organically grown tomato.
>>27876960
Unicorn horns are composed of Poner Flesh.
Which is why they wiggle when flicked, and get flaccid/flabby when exposed to steam or heat for long periods of time
>>27877769
>horngasms
>>27877255
Nice
>>27876966
first reply is best reply.
>>27878284
>B&thro
>>27878284
>>27878311
>Anthro.
I think you need to check your eyes there, Skippy
>>27876960
You can cum inside rainbow dash
>>27878284
Sauce?
>>27878284
But, this isn't bullshit.
>>27878353
>very clearly a human shoulder
you need to learn anatomy, friend.
>Equestria is about the size of mars
>this allows the dragons and Pegasus to fly using small wingsscootaloo a shit
>a unicorn's horn gets bigger the more magic they use
>the larger a unicorns horn the more magical energy it can use
>magic in Equestria is a force of nature. much like gravity. a unicorn or other magical things use this force to bend reality. there is only so much magic in any given area. creatures that use magic act like lighting rods for the magical energies.
>humans having lived on earth. do not share this bond with magic force. the magical field warps around them like a rock in a river. magic used on a human has unknow effects on both the caster and target.
>>27878415
And neither is this >>27877769
Can't you faggots even contribute properly in a make up bullshit facts thread?
>>27878555
Trips lays down the right message.
>>27877107
Are there Reapers in pony now?
>>27878608
Yes, but they spend most of their time being as edgy as possible and wearing skull masks.
>>27877255
>implying that the Equestrian government sells anyhwere from 20,000 to 200,000 blank flanks a year and no one notices.
>>27877107
That's some fucking inefficient energy conversion then, since dark energy makes up about 68% of the universe.
You're telling me that a since species on a single planet that will only exist for a finite amount of time can even dent in that? "Normal" matter makes up around 5% of the universe, if you or some faggot reading this needs perspective.
Celestia and Luna behind closed doors have dirty, sweaty, fetishistic incest sex.
>Luna places her fat rump on her sister's crotchtits.
>Her legs spread as she leans in for a kiss.
>She is met with Celestia's long tongue, invading her mouth.
>The dark horse breaks the kiss and says, "Art thou ready for our 'package', dear sister?"
>Celestia cracks a lustful grin.
>Luna lets her nether sphincter loosen, allowing her brown package to be delivered.
>Moistening up her sister's once-white tits, the hot brown mess spreads to the crack in Celestia's cheeks.
>The sun princess moans in delight as her sister's fluids warm her lower regions.
Btw daily reminder that your waifu will never rub her pussy on your stomach and then shit on you
>>27876960
Ponies like to perform exotic experiments that seek knowledge which no other sentient race would ever care or need to know. These experiments have in fact been taken so unnecessarily far that other races attempt to bribe the ponies with trinkets and good relations in order to avoid having experiments conducted upon them.
>>27876960
Rainbow dash was planned to have an spin-off series based on her adventures in the wonder bolts academy but it got cancelled becauseworstpony
>>27876960
Applejacks parents didn't die, Hasbro had planned a spin-off series to last one season to be haired in parts between regular MLP seasons but it got cancelled, it featured them trying to get back home from the congo
>>27876960
Maud pie wasn't originally pinkies sister, she was planned as a secondary character in raritys spin-off series, hence why she likes rocks and looks plain while rarity likes gems and looks fabulous but it got cancelled because there was too much porn of rarity, they instead pushed rarity to a more background place
>>27876960
Fluttershy was planned to have a spin-off series of books where she taught children about animals both real and unique from the show,8 books where confirmed with every girl appearing once and having an unexpected adventure with fluttershy . Its unknown who was going to appear in the other 3 books
>>27876960
Twilight sparkle was planned to have her own spin-off series of movies where she went to highschool and had real human friends but this idea was scrapped early because it was the worst of the spin-offs proposal, no concept art exists of this
>>27877107
>>27878608
Sounds like ponies are in need of salvation through destruction.
The surface area of Greater Equestria is located on the Inside of the Hollow Earth
A pair of smaller bodies constituting an Inner Sun and Moon both orbit about a central body comprising
A Dwarf Singularity; this body providing
A center of orbit for the inner cosmosphere
A portal Out into another dimensional realm
A portal In for Extra-dimensional forces that manifest themselves in Equestria Proper as manifestations of Phenomenal and Magical forces accounting for, but not limited to
The ability of the Sisters to control the Inner Sun and Moon at their will
The ability to open portals to other realms including but not limited to
The Sock Puppet Dimension
Tartarus
Greater Chaos
and that bullshit EG dimension that serves as a vehicle and venue for Hasbro's toy dumping in the same way this thread serves as a shitpost dumping ground
studies show that pony might not be for sexual
Unicorns are actually robots created by celestia to control the masses. They make life easier and more enjoyable for everyone else. Without unicorns providing leisure, the working class would work itself into a frenzy and die off from exhaustion and pointless war.
>>27880622
>>27880670
>make up bullshit
i made up bullshit, wheres my award for best bullshit.
>>27880702
Here
>>27880750
my sides
>>27876960
I live a fulfilling life and don't watch a show for little girls to escape the reality that is my life.
>>27876960
I get to fuck Fluttershy in real life cause I'm a Fucking Wizard
*Casts Magic Dildo*
>>27876960
I don't find fleeting moments of joy when I talk to imaginary ponies, and I have a very sound mind.
>>27877657
pfft
>>27876960
Did you know that the Elements of Harmony don't choose bearers based on who best demonstrates each Element? They instead seek out the ponies who most thoroughly appreciate and define themselves by those virtues. As such, an Element bearer may not always display the trait they represent, but they will always feel deeply uncomfortable when it is taken away from them, or when they fail to create it. It may not be what they are, but it is what they aspire to be.
>>27877769
Erectile dysfunction is far more serious for unicorns than other ponies
>>27882528
>>27878695
Dark matter is extremely diffuse you dumb ass. In total there's more in the universe yes but it can't reach the same density as normal matter. A planet's crust is gonna be extremely dense compared to dark matter, meaning you wont be able to draw that much energy from it at any given time.
>>27882629
Dark energy*. My point would stand regardless.
>>27882629
>mixing up dark matter with dark energy
>>27882629
>>27882644
Dark Energy is what Dark Matter is slowly turning into, if you think Dark Matter is vastly more than Baryonic matter then Dark Energy is the same to Dark Matter.
>>27882629
>>27882644
>>27882669
It still wouldn't cause the collapse of the universe. Assuming the unicorn siphoning draws in dark energy from the nearby area, then just equestria would be fucked. Actually, a lack of stable space would cause a lot of stuff so make more sense.
Assuming unicorn siphoning drains the whole universe equally, then it doesn't fucking matter how dispersed it is.
>>27882715
I'm not the anon who came up with the theory, I think it sounds stupid for the same reasons I gave above.
>>27876960
If you throw a pony into the air and catch it using only one hand, the pony's head will explode, guaranteed.
Ponies will die if they touch human sperm.
A pony is only as smart as every other pony.
Hmm...
>>27882768
I will cock vore them.
If six ponies are stacked directly on top of one another, the pony that is second closest to the ground will disappear.
Forever.
>>27882768
>murder by ejaculation
>>27882768
Does the sperm have to be alive? If not you practically couldn't go anywhere without risking killing ponies.
>>27882798
As long as it has a little warmth, it'll kill 'em.
It'll kill 'em good.
>>27882806
>As long as it has a little warmth
So it's only deadly for around two seconds, got it.
A pony will always succeed the first time it tries a backflip. If it attempts another, it will almost always fail, regardless of skill or practice.
If a pony tries a backflip for the first time BEFORE gaining its cutie mark, however, the successful backflip will cause the pony to receive a cutie mark in backflips. That pony will then, of course, find a talent for backflips, and will stand out amongst the other ponies for its rare skill. These backflip ponies are rounded up in large facilities across Equestria, where they sit around and wait. They are rather useless because there are so many of them. The excess backflip ponies are usually transported to Canterlot, processed, then turned into weather energy or cake ingredients.
>unicorn horns are basically ingrown bone protrusions that pierce into the unicorns brain, in fact, if you were to pierce any species of pony through its skull and leave the object there they would eventually be capable of using it for magic. This is because the "horn" acts as a pseudo magic wand/conduit
>zebra aren't actually rhyming, the inner ear simply can't comprehend their language so the brain views it as rhyming, this is referred to as the "ziiga wat!?" Effect
>the average Pegasus contains at least 8 quarts of helium, and makes a silly squeaky noise when hugged hard enough
>ponies can pick up and interact with objects through an extremely acute form of telekinesis that can be channeled through their front hooves, and sometimes buttox
>earth ponies can survive entirely off grass, the other species of pone require more diverse diets such as fruits, small amounts of dairy, or in the case of Rarity, ludicrous amounts of cock
>Pegasi are nearly immune to lightning, but can be volatile and explosive when exposed to fire or really really spicy foods
>unicorns are also explosive, but only after being rubbed vigorously with a magnet
>>27882834
You can microwave it. Wakes the killing energies right back up.
>>27882852
>ludicrous amounts of cock
>>27882844
Teksta Pones.
>>27876960
>Alicorns grow more slender and petite over time
>Given enough time, an alicorn's limbs become like spaghetti strings
>>27882947
And changelings.
>>27878651
Changelings. Changelings everywhere. Chrysalis was just a rogue element.
Sunset Shimmer is canon
>>27876966
Dubs confirmed.
There are several kinds of magic within Equestria, Basic, Alicorn, Dark, Love, and Friendship. There can be various subtypes but those are the five main types. Basic magic is what unicorns use to levitate objects and whatnot, being the most versatile type of magic. Alicorn magic is of course only used by Alicorns and tends to be a much more powerful version of basic magic. Dark magic is also a powerful form of magic that can essentially act as Alicorn magic but can be controlled by unicorns as well as Alicorns, however it can only be used in acts of evil. Love and Friendship magic only occurs when the bonds between ponies become strong enough to tap into the dormant Love/Friendship energies within ponies, and can be even more powerful than all other types of magic, but these magics are difficult to control and will only work in the most dire of times.
The Mane 6 cannot die because they represent the Elements of Harmony.
>>27876989
People partially did this.
>>>/trash/4063037
>>27880750
i'd like to thank the academy
>>27884453
They want nothing to do with this.
>>27885724they're gonna get fucking recognized if they like it or fucking not
All the ponies are changelings, but they each think that they're the only ones.
There are no real ponies.
>>27885833
The mane six are the only changelings, the shits and giggles were too good to pass up.
>>27882852
>the average Pegasus contains at least 8 quarts of helium, and makes a silly squeaky noise when hugged hard enough
Nigga that's adorable, and also kind of sexy.
I want to have rough sex with a squeaky pegasus now.
>>27882852
>ludicrous amounts of cock
The national dish of equestria is hotwings.
>>27886263
season finale this is revealed to be true, then false again due to pinkie pie logic, or is it applejack, what is going on?
>>27888727
>the ghost of hiatus past is here
Why did you come back, faggot
>>27889648
To see how many newfags were here.
>>27878625
And selling death metal albums to kids in bed
Cock vore is a goodbye in some places.
>>27889653
>newfags
There's a difference between not recognizing an actual meme and laughing at the samefaggot who Milhouses.
>>27882852
>the average Pegasus contains at least 8 quarts of helium, and makes a silly squeaky noise when hugged hard enough
That's my fetish.
Nightmare Moon is just a big prank gone wrong set up by Luna.
Rainbow Dash later took inspiration from this and decided to play pranks on everypony during Nightmare Night.
Ponies are NOT, in fact, comforted by heartbeat-like all encompassing powerful pulses.
