Anon in Equestria Thread # 1091.5

The guy is probably still there but it'll be fixed by tomorrow for sure.

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>>26906027
You tell me? Can I not talk about being in equestria?

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>>26906055
One can only hope.

I'm rather salty that we got scruffed and Flutterrape was left alone. They cover the same fucking niche we do, but we've been around way longer. That shit rustles my jimmies.

>>26906122
Hahaha, no.
We in FR got fucked as well. Only just got the thread back up and running.

Also we're older than you.
:^)

>>26906122
>Flutterrape left alone
They were not.

>>26906027
Boy am I getting a feeling of deja vu all up in here.

Are we safe? Can I actually work on my story without worrying if this thread will be here when I'm done now?

>>26906151
You currently employed at the moment? Because I have a place for the lead roll in a teenage power-trip drama.

You'd be playing the whiny shitter that gets a modicum of authority and abuses it to its fullest extent to vent his juvenile frustrations on his fellow students.

You up for it?

>>26906122
Zigger you what?

FR was one of the casualties.

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>>26906151
Here, catch.

No green? UNACCEPTABLE!

>"Oh my god"
>You're hung over and the bastard sun is shining through the curtains.
>This is the last time you go drinking with Luna and Discord.
>Of course you said that last time too.
>Flashes of last night float through your memory.
>Playing strip poker in reverse, because they didn't really get the taking clothes off thing.
>Trashing that bar in manehatten
>Hiding dragon dildos all over Celestia's room.
>You groan and pull the blankets over your head.
>"Come on Anon. It's time to get up."
>Fucking Twilight. Let me sleep.
>"Come on Anon. It's breakfast time."
>She sounds so cheery. You hate people who are cheery in the morning.
>Even more so when you're hungover.
>"Rise and Shine Anon!"
>She's poking you now. God damn it.
>Does she not understand the bond between a hungover Anon and his bed?


>Silly Anon. The morning is wasting away and he's still in bed.
>He could be so much more productive, especially if he had you help him organize his time.
>But he's only a colt, an alien colt yes. But still a lazy colt.
>To be honest you're more worried about his health. Anon told you humans only need six hours of sleep
>All this extra sleep must be bad for him.
>"Rise and Shine Anon!"
>You poke him a couple of times to encourage him.
>"RIGHT! FINE! I'M UP! Fucking hell."
>In single burst of motion Anon throws the blanket off him and leaps out of bed.
>And his morning wood is staring you right in the eyes.
>You can feel the heat building in your cheeks.
>You catch yourself as you start to lean in closer.
>"I'llgocheckonbreakfast!"

>>26906155
I think so, yeah.

>>26906122
Flutterape wasn't left, it was Trap tickler.

>>26906265

>You're back in your room and it's time to get dressed.
>Yeah you went to breakfast naked. Not like anyone else dressed for it.
>Spike and Twilight kept staring at you though. Or rather trying to make it look like they weren't staring at you.
>Not that weird when you think about. It's the first time they've seen you nude for more than a few seconds.
>Right now you need clothes, more specifically your hangover hoodie.
>Your most prized possession. A thing of glorious majesty.
>Ok it's a baggy old hoodie that's 2 sizes too big for you.
>Which means you can pull your legs up into it and the hood over your face like a hungover tortoise retreating into a dark snugly shell.
>There's method to your madness!
>You also need a new place to sleep off this god awful hangover.
>Twilight won't give you any peace, she doesn't understand hangovers.
>Rarity's will do, it's fairly close and quiet.


>You've reached Rarity's. You've also realised you forgot to put on pants
>Who cares, you don't need pants to sleep.
>"Welcome to Ca- Oh hello Anon, what brings you here?"
>"Twilight won't let me sleep"
>"Still feeling a little tender from your night on the town are we?"
>"How'd you know?"
>"Darling please, as a fashionista it's my job to know what the rich and famous are doing."
>"I'm not rich."
>"True but when you, Discord and a princess wreck the most popular nightclub in Canterlot it's hardly going to go unnoticed."
>You just grunt. You're losing the will to use words again.
>"You can sleep on the sofa over there, I'll make sure Twilight doesn't disturb you."
>You flop down on the couch and retreat from the hated sunlight into the depths of your hoodie.
>Hungover heroes in a half shell. Turtle Power!

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>>26906151
>This guys taste are so pleb that no one makes content for him.

>>26906305

>You leave Anon to sleep. You'd call him an uncouth ruffian.
>But those nights on the town of his provide no end of gossip for you to indulge in.
>There's a silver lining to every cloud. Though there's no silver lining to Anon's fashion sense.
>Everything he wears either looks like he found it in the trash or is disgustingly out of fashion.
>That 'hoodie' he's wearing is no exception. It's probably older than he is.
>Though... seeing him curled up in it like that. It does make it look cozy...
>It's still an old rag though.
>And you can't let your friend wear old rags. But Anon won't like it if you just throw it away.
>You'll have to make him a new one.
>You move forward to examine the 'hoodie'. You have to study it so you can make a new one for him.
>Yes, study the cozy....
>You'll need to study the inside too. If human clothing is anything like human habits it probably has some bizarre design pieces.
>Gently you climb up on the sofa, trying your hardest not to disturb anon.
>You slowly slide inside the 'hoodie' and find yourself holding your breath as you wait to see if Anon noticed.
>*yawn*
>You suddenly feel rather sleepy. And one can't create masterpieces while tired.
>Just a quick nap and you'll be right as rain. A nap so quick you won't even need to leave Anon's snugly, warm, filthy rag.

>>26906335
Circlejerking should be punishable by death.

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>>26906345
So should poor taste.

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>>26906151

>>26906027
Tripfags in Bannedquestria

>>26906027
.5
whole numbers nigga
inb4 deleted again anyways

>>26906819
One of these is not like the other.

Are we safe now?

>>26907357
Apparently. There's a sticky. But it's damage control. The truth is one or more mods went full-retard and started deleting everything. That's it.

>>26906151
Yeah because there's so much to talk about a childrens TV show and a line of toys to warrant its own board.

Face it these generals are the entire reason this board exists, Otherwise everyone would move to /co/ or /toy/

>>26906151

Do it, faggot.

Finished that story before the thread got whacked.
pastebin.com/7YEetcTJ
Here's for anyone who didn't read it yet.

>>26908326
Aight

Still waiting for more spoonlicker

>>26910427
4 days.

That took way longer than expected.

Am I Evil 24
Finale

>It was the biggest night in Canterlot, possibly the entire kingdom. Dignitaries and officials from far and wide, from every corner of the kingdom were in attendance tonight.
>The Grand Glittering Gala.
>Your week in town had been more preparation on top of what you’d already done.
>After the five of you had returned from the desert, you had all set to work.
>First order of business was getting back in touch with the road crew, as no band was complete without one. You’d met Huey and the twins in a bar and recounted the whole tale of meeting the Child in the desert and the revelations that came with that.
>”Shit, I could have told you that.” He had said before he shook your hand like an old friend.
>What followed was two weeks of safety inspections, rehearsals, re-worked stage shows, and tux fittings until you reached now hiding out in Artemis’ apartment fixing your tie.
>You get it done right and look to him.
“Am I straight?”
>He turns and cocks an eyebrow. “You look like you might have seen one or two up close.”
“Takes one to know one.”
> ”A prince never tells.” Artemis says as he reaches over and adjusts your tie.
“Thank you.”
>”Yeah well you’d be lost without me.”
>”You’d think at this point he’d know how to tie a tie.”
>You look over your shoulder and spot Eris in a suit. “You were wearing that suit when we met you.”
“I always used to just make it looser and slip it off. No dress?”
>Eris tugs at her collar and smirks. “I make this look too good to squeeze myself into a dress.”
>”That and she probably doesn’t want to wear underpants and a dress would end up flashing the crowd.”
>”Arty, know the reason I broke up with you?”
>”I could do better?” he answers.
>”Because you got a big fat mouth.” Eris says, grabbing his cheeks.

>>26910767
>You back away and get your tie situated, thinking back to what Arty said.
“Mmm…you guys remember when we met?”
>Artemis and Eris get a far off look in their eyes. “I remember driving our van down the road…” Arty says.
>”And seeing some strange guy in a suit with a guitar on his shoulder hitchhiking.” Eris finishes.
“Strange? Not handsome?”
>”You grew on me.”
>Artemis chuckles. “What were you even hitchhiking for? You’ve never said after all these years.”
“I was trying to get out of the worst place on the planet, I didn’t expect to end up in magic-land pine forests after I went to take a leak.”
>”And that awful place was?”
“New Jersey.”
>Fuck New Jersey.
>Eris rests her head on your shoulder. “Ever miss it?”
>You contemplate that for a minute.
“Where I lay my head is home…Had no family, barely any friends, and my latest band had broken up the week before that. There was culture shock, but as far as I’m concerned, this is where I belong.”
>”With me?” Eris ask.
“Yes dummy, with you.”
>You lean your neck down and kiss her, she does that cute thing where she lifts one of her legs up.
>A knock at the door heralds Sombra sticking his head in. “Five minutes, dickheads. Let’s rock and rumble.”
>You look at your friends, your family, and pull down your mask.
“Right now, the place we belong is on that stage. So let’s kill this.”

>>26910767
Ooooooh shit. It's happening!

Captcha: Select all the images with Popcorn.

>>26910800
>Sombra leads you down a corridor where Chrysalis is smoothing her eyebrows out in a mirror on the wall.
>”Be careful, that’s worth more than our lives.”
>”I’m priceless, Artemis. Is everyone ready?”
>All of you nod, Chrysalis turns and looks at you before taking a deep breath. “Moment of truth.”
>”Make or break.”
“Do or die.”
>Chrysalis comes in close and snatches you all in her arms. “I just want you all to know that no matter how this turns out, I’ve never felt closer to anyone in all my years. I love you all.”
>”Gaaaaaaaaaay.” Eris says.
>”Hush. Let’s go kick ass!” Chrysalis cries.
“Hell yeah!”
>The Changeling Queen turns on her heel and hurries out into the main ballroom as the rest of you follow.
>Your stage is set up in the ballroom right in front of the big bay window overlooking the city below and countryside further beyond.
>Several cheers and whistles come your way as you silently walk to the stage, an older gentleman standing at the microphone. “And providing tonight’s entertainment, we proudly present, The Neon Knights.” He says.

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>>26910821
>Chrysalis takes the microphone from the man who quickly heads off stage and looks out over the gathering audience. “I dare say, this is easily our most well-dressed crowd.” She says to break the ice. It gets a few chuckles.
>She wasn’t wrong though, everyone in here was in a tuxedo or gown that cost more than most cars. Not exactly the stereotypical rock concert stock.
>You’d have to do something about that.
>Chrysalis loosens her tie as the rest of you get either behind your instrument or get them on your shoulder.
>”Like our esteemed mustachioed man said, we are the Neon Knights, and we play heavy metal.” She shades her eyes and looks out over the crowd. “We got some old blood here, you guys want a history lesson? Listen up.”
>Chrysalis sets the mic and you grab your pick, taking a deep breath through your mask to center yourself.
>You look out over the crowd and spot Princess Celestia by the stairs opposite the door. She’s giving you two huge thumbs up with a big smile.
>And if that didn’t do it, nothing would.
>”One, two, three, hit it!”

>>26910828
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTUgGPUrDpE
>Sombra two counts his sticks together.
>On cue, you, Eris, and Artemis begin a blasting riff with him. Your guitars were tuned to make an especial flat and blunt noise and the riffs engineered to smack the listener in the face.
>You play for a few licks before the stage goes dark save for a spotlight on Chrysalis. Eris kneels down and fingers out a bassline while Sombra keeps on tapping a beat out.
>Chrusalis gestures around while tapping her foot and weaving a historical lesson about the history of rock and roll and heavy metal, none of this music class bullshit.
>You all agreed to start at the very beginning.
>The rest of the stage lights up when she points to it. The sound of Eris’s bass, Sombra’s drums, and finally yours and Artemis’s rock.
>You and he jump into the air while you slam out your rifts, then you slide your pick down your neck.
>You begin your first solo of the song, spinning around low to the ground the same way the rifts reminded you of, all while bobbing your head like a madman.
>That solo ends dramatically with everyone holding their notes, then you tap a few out and it’s right back into it.
>Chrysalis continues her lesson, you look around.
>Dignitaries and celebutants are loosening their ties and consuming more and more punch.
>What’s even better, they were dancing.
>Dancing like rich white people dance, but still, this was good.
>You look out and see Princess Celestia instructing a few delegates in how to get their groove on, smiling up at you and her brother.
>Two could play like that.
>Right before you and Artemis’ next bridge, you whip your mask off and jump off the stage.

>>26910840
>Your bandmates don’t miss a beat, continuing to play and dance around.
>You feel the floor under your feet tremble a bit and see the light fixtures sparkle.
>In the cleared space among the crowed that you land in, you stalk around like a cheetah before you begin your solo, but you dare to be different. You tap into the power inside of you, the eternal metal magic, and let it flow into you, just like the night on the glacier.
>Sliding your fingers down your neck, you launch a gust of air at a woman, lifting her dress up.
>Normally that’d get you a slap, but this time you get a coy smile and an eye roll.
>You start playing a looping guitar bridge in time with your footsteps aw you weave through the crowd. You wink at fans and dance with others, spinning on your toes and flourishing to make a show before you settle on rocking back and forth as your solo intensifies.
>From your guitar, lights spring forth and spin around in rhythm with you.
>People are awestruck by the power of Tirek coursing through you as you extend your solo and lead into another fade-off.

>>26910860
>As the last verse starts, you hurry back to the stage, climbing on right as Chrysalis starts singing again.
>Chrysalis continues her final verse as Eris and Artemis gather around you. Sombra starts spinning his sticks with each strike of the cymbals and the energy rises.
>Chrysalis releases a final scream to signal your final solo and you drop down to one knee near the front of the stage and the cheering super-rich fans.
>You start bending your strings in unholy ways to make this guitar dance for you, letting out a cacophony of noise and majesty that even you’d never thought of till this very moment.
>Artemis and Eris bang their heads around you and Chrysalis holds the microphone to your pickups.
>Which comes at the perfect time. You start playing as fast as you can, letting your hand slide up and down the neck of your guitar over your strings and letting your passion take over.
>The head of your guitar responds in kind, the knobs glowing red hot before they start vomiting out colorful fireworks, the microphone stand mirroring it.
>You continue to play from your heart, egging the crowd into more and more intense cheers before you all break away and slam on your instruments.
>You all hold those extended solos for what seems a blissful eternity before you let loose one final slide and a stomp to end the song.
>The crowd cheers and raises their lighters, Chrysalis taking the microphone. “Alright, yeah! If you liked that, we have even more heavy metal mania for you toni-“
>WHAM.
>Everyone in the room looks towards the main doors as another rough slam hits them.
>WHAM.
>Chrysalis chuckles. “Seems like someone was late to the party, eh? Security! Let ‘em in!”
>A guard reaches over and unlatches the door, then he’s flung back by the force of them slamming open and sending a powerful gale into the room harrowing a mournful dirge.

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>>26910877
>It wails over the ballroom, snapping everyone from their jovial trance and blowing clothes, curtains, tables, and people back towards you.
>Cutting through the sound, you heard the chiming of a single pure bell and the pounding of rain and thunder.
“What in the-?”
>”Anonymous!” You hear Eris shout.
>Momentarily that is, the moaning wail from some sort of guitar gets louder. Your hands and the hands of all those in attendance snap to their ears instinctively to stop them from bursting.
>All at once, the noise and wind cease. You peek your eyes open to see the color drained from the world.
>Everything in the ballroom was now some shade of grey, except for everyone on the stage. They were also all facing towards the doorway where an inky blackness covered contained therein until a pair of red eyes blinked open inside it.
>It stepped into the room on a cloven hoof and draped in shadows that collected into a tattered cape around it. Behind it on the floor it dragged a stringed battle axe that left constant blood trails on the floor. He towered over all the guests in attendance, his horns almost hitting the chandeliers as he surveyed the room.
>”Mister Bones, you make your master proud.”
>His voice shook the very fabric of space.
>As the one note wail fades, you hear the clattering of bones from the door and the Black Priest summons his host.
>A skeleton reaching the satyr’s shoulders and wearing a sombrero and ponoch, deep carvings on his bones walks in leading a funderla procession of smaller human frames behind him, and bringing up the rear, a carriage lead by fire snorting skeletal horses that seemed to be made of fingernails and teeth, atop which stood the same boney puppets carrying bass guitars, chimes, horns, and a drumset.
>”Oh my god…” you hear Chrysalis say.
>”It’s…it’s Grogar.”
>The Ancient Necromancer, The Black Poet, The Carver of the World, stood high in the center of the ballroom, then he looked at you.

>>26910889
Music; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrVKmTPFYZ8
>He tils his head to the side as he walks towards you, eyes fixated on all of you.
>You feel your knees shake as the band huddles together, Sombra baring his teeth behind you from the sound of it.
>”What is this, that stands before me?” he says, either about himself or you.
>He extends a gnarled finger towards you and points, the tip glowing black
>You feel your soul start to drop into an infinite expanse but the feeling quickly passes with a momentary golden sheen making a bubble around you.
>”Wh-what??” Eris says.
>”What the hell--?” Artemis says “I’ve read the tomes, why aren’t we inside out?”
>Sombra puts his hand on Artemis’ shoulder and points. “Arty…look.”
>The crowd that Grogar steps around, the other attendees of the Grand Glittering Gala stand perfectly still…until they all turn to watch their master with jet black eyes and open mouths.
>And at the head of them near the stage was a princess in a golden tiara, her right hand clenched in a fist that glowed gold with the sheen.
>You FEEL the moon tremble behind you as Artemis takes a step forward. “I’m going to—I should—Where is my helmet!?”
>Grogar chuckles and takes a step towards you. ”Be silent, herald. Your lord walks among you. Your insolence will not be forgiven a second time.”
>He waves a hand and blows the window out behind you…before the entire back wall and ceiling of the castle room collapses and turns to dust in the wind, blowing away.
>You hazard a quick glance out and see the expanding wall of colorlessness extend over the city, over the countryside, and up into the sky. Turning the whole world black and white…mostly black though.

>>26910910
>Grogar continues to loom over you. “I have felt you since your awakening…so long ago…as the world finished its rotation around the cursed sun…”
>He seems to savor each word like a succulent piece of meat for how long he draws them out. “I have felt your power grow, and climb, and magnify my power over this world…returning the magic my counterpart once stole from me.”
>Grogar grips his axe tighter and brings it over his head with a sick smile, slamming it down on the shield with a crack that shook the planet. In the streets below, gaps in the ground opened up and spilled black soot onto the streets.
>Artemis gasps and bleeds from the mouth as the moon glows blood red, the color of Grogar’s pinprick eyes, and begins to drip onto the planet below it.
>”The Sun shields you from my shadow…I -have- been diminished with the awakening of my host…”
>He brings his axe back, dragging gouges into the ground with it as he holds it across himself. “It is of no consequence…my mournful song will drain the power from this world…and you will be its last living beings…”
>You feel Eris grip your arm and your gut tighten.
>”You…whom this world once called evil, will bear witness to your better, to the rise of New Tambelon…”
>He holds his bone axe over his knee and begins playing out a droning clamor of sounds and screams from his band back on the carriage which shoots torrents of smoke out from underneath it. The torrents rise into the sky and become new clouds, blocking off everything save the dripping moon.
>Grogar looks up to the sky with a manic smile as the last ray of starlight vanishes. “IS IT THE END, MY OLD FRIEND!? THIS IS HOW YOUR WORLD DIES! LET THIS SHOW YOU THE POWER OF MY MUSIC! THE TRUE PATH FOR HEAVY METAL!”
>You feel the pang in your gut explode into fire in your veins and you just can’t take it anymore. You pull away from Eris and march over to the edge of the dome.
“OH KISS MY ASS YOU OLD HACK!”

I fucked up my copy paste so this last line before the break belongs to the post above.
>>26910928
>Your interruption distracts Grogar for a heartbeat and you hear the familiar sound of a string breaking, then silence from the ghastly band that dares not play without its leader.

>Grogar turns his bloody gaze down to you jamming your finger up at him.
“You heard me grandpa, kiss my ass.”
>No one else says anything, but you can feel Sombra take a step back through the floor.
>Dickhead.
>Oh well, whatever.
“You roll in here big off your britches and trying to take over the world or something dumb like that and you have the gall to think you’re the true path for heavy metal? That it was just left where you last had it and never went anywhere?”
>You turn your finger into flipping the bird.
“Well fuck you, buddy! We worked our asses off to move this music from the shadows where you left it and let it take its place in the harsh light of the sun!”
>Grogar snorts dust from his nose. “I carved these elegies onto the soul of the world in millennia past, pup. You could never match even a fraction of my master of metal.”
>He holds his arms out wide. “Look around you…”
>You do that. Turning around and seeing all the black eyed, slack jawed slaves to Grogar’s sounds emanating from the skeletal stage behind him. Behind you out over the city you saw endless hordes of red eyed shambling corpses standing motionless, all staring up at the now city wide stage you found yourself on.
>”My metal has made you five the last living beings in this kingdom not a part of my will…what could you POSSIBLY do to change that?”
>You think for a quiet minute and then stab your finger up at him.
“WE challenge YOU to a ROCK OFF! Our best song will kick your as-ah!”
>”Just one moment please!” You hear Chrysalis shout before you get pulled back.

>>26906027

Is... is that Anon wearing a kippah?

>>26910947
>The band pulls you into a huddle in the bubble.
>”Anon what the fuck.”
>”Do you SEE HIM?”
>”He’s got -literal actual zombies-.”
>”And we have fucking guitars.”
>You take a half step back and hold up two fingers.
“Okay.”
“First off, when did my badass bandmates get replaced with a bunch of scared little bitches?”
>Sombra, Artemis, and Chrysalis all glower back at you.
>”Anon, seriously, what do you expect to DO?”
>You can barely believe what you’re hearing.
“I expect us to go up there and blow him the fuck out, is what I expect! We -know- we can play harder than some droning wail!”
>Artemis grabs your shoulder. “Anon that is LITERALLY GROGAR.”
>”He basically -invented heavy metal-, dude.” Sombra says. “We picked it up on a whim! What chance do we have!”
>”Not to mention the entire WORLD is counting on us at this point!” Chrysalis says.
“Guys…”
>You grab your guitar and hold it up.
“We always said music could change the world, but now ours actually CAN! And he -is- his band! The face, the name, all of it! Those boneheads won’t play without him! We can blast him back to the pit he crawled out of by working together and become legends!”
>You get three concerned, scared, and unsure looks back.
>And your gut sinks.
“Guys…”

>>26910967
>”I got an idea.” You hear over your shoulder.
>All three of you look to see Eris picking up her guitar and strolling over next to you. “We could just shut up and go play and have a good time, it’s not like we really give a shit.”
>The others are quiet for a bit before Chrysalis laughs once.
>”We are bad guys…”
>Sombra chuckles. “It’s not like apathy for the common man isn’t our thing.”
>”Contempt even.” Artemis adds.
“So you’ll do it?”
>Sombra looks up at you. “What would we even play?”
>You steel your eyes and look each of them dead on.
>”There’s only one thing we can play.”
>They all catch on quick and nod.
>”The Masterpiece.” You all say in unison.
>It’d been the work of months, years even. All of you knew it by heart. Every note, every chord, every lyric. It was metal in its most pure form as you could make.
>”…Get to your places.” Chrysalis says, picking up her mic.
>Artemis rushes over and grabs his guitar, taking his place by Eris who gets into a low power stance.
>Sombra grabs his Adamantine drumsticks and sits behind his kit.
>Chrysalis points up at Grogar. “We may be bad guys and this may be our world too, but I don’t give a DAMN about that! All I want to do is wipe that smug fucking grin off your face.”
>The old satyr breathes heavily, annoyance crossing his face. “And how would you do that?”
>Chrysalis points to the drum kit. “SOMBRA, HIT IT!”
>The Crystal King grows a manic grin and raises his muscled arms up, about to unleash the fury that you’d held him back from for so long.

It's showtime.
>>26910979
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ4Nel-aHZM
>Sombra’s sticks hit the cymbals and his legs become a blur as he unleashes his power onto the set.
>You feet the ground beneath your feet shake and shudder, though unlike before. Before you could feel the planet quake at Grogar’s approach, now it felt like Sombra reached down into the core of the earth and jumpstarted it, echoing the adrenaline fueled heartbeat back up and shaking the surface.
>Black crystals spring up from the floor around Sombra’s kit, each cymbal strike sending more up and tracing down the side of the palace wall.
>Sombra settles on a fast, heavy rhythm and everyone else prepares. Thumping their chests in solidarity and preparing for what was to come.
>You take center stage and watch Grogar’s eyes flutter and his zombie slaves twitch ever so slightly.
“Chew on this, you old fart…”
>You tilt your guitar headstock into the sky and call upon the raw power of Tirek.
>And ‘lo does your god answer.
>As you release the screech of the titanium beast in your hands, silver lightning cuts the sky in half and strikes your guitar. And from the gap in the world shoots forth gouts of fire and flame that herald the arrival of a chrome champion riding a metallic dragon.
>From the legends of old sprung forth Tirek’s champion; Hellfurion, Cremator of the World. Clad in chromate steel with talons that could slice the stars. Behind him roars a great beast as a metallic dragon serpent slithers through the rift behind him.
>The mountains surrounding Canterlot explode their tops, shooting fire into the sky as Hellfurion dives into the horde of undead beneath him on wings of steel and sunlight.

>>26910988
>As the fire from the planets core shot into the sky and burned the necromancer’s smog away, the worlds defiant scream against the entropy of Grogar, your band joined you in your unholy chorus.
>Chrysalis grabs the mic with both hands and screams as loud as she can into it, sounds only matched by the carnage below you.
>Hellfurion wades into the scores of undead, swinging his scalloped claws and razor talons through the spiteful creatures below and immolating the pieces he carved from them.
>It was a thing of monstrous beauty to watch the metal messiah rend his way through the streets, where his feet fell leaving trails of flame which burned the traces of soot away.
>Furion’s serpent, the great Deathscream, flew into the air and unleashed streams of molten iron from his gaping maw into the air with a terrifying scream where they cooled and rained down upon the monsters, tearing them apart.
>Grogar was a crafty old man and caught wise, extending his axe towards your champion and unleashing a low strum of black magic towards his gleaming metal body.
>You and Chrysalis turn towards Hellfurion as Sombra and Eris rebuke Grogar and unleash a wall of noise towards him.
>The noise strikes the chrome knight in his chest, resonating off his metallic body and blasting away the darkness. In the radius around Hellfurion, civilians which he had until this time avoided, fell to their knees and shook their heads as their eyes cleared.
“IT’S WORKING! KEEP PLAYING!”

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>>26911006
>Artemis takes his place next to you as he slams away on his guitar, his eyes becoming a star field as the night sky churned above you. Comets smashed into each other and far off suns turned to supernovas, bathing the landscape before you in brilliant light that reflected off the moon in the sky.
>However from the last vestiges of shadow from the smog came the flapping figures of skull faced bat creatures which descend upon the city.
>You in particular, Grogar was playing dirty.
>Hellfurion leaps into the sky and lands on Deathscream, taking to the sky as he grabs hold of molten chains on the beasts back with one arm.
>Hellfurion leaps off his steed as it flies up further into the air, rapidly shedding chrome scales which fall into the air and explode into showers of motel sparks which burn the winged monstrosities at the touch.
>Grogar was nervous now, thrusting his glowing black hand into the sky as he tore chunks of earth, marble, and stone from the ground and throwing them at Hellfurion in an attempt to douse his flaming body.
>Chrysalis belts it out as your champion dives between the stones, either kicking them into dust or chopping them with his molten arm, leaving the pieces aflame to fall back to the earth before he finally exploded, sending a hail of metal down onto the world.
>Lightning sparks from your guitars as he lands in the destroyed ballroom. Grogar jumps back and raises the bladed side of his axe as Hellfurion charges him through the crowd of guests, all awakening in the presence of his majestic form.
>You drop to your knees and let all of your fingers pick at your strings. At the same time, Hellfurion tackles Grogar in the chest and angles his razor wings down, sending himself and Grogar flying towards one of the fire spewing volcanoes on like a fury filled rocket.

>>26911030
>As the two demi-gods land on the rim of the volcano, Grogar tries to strike with his smokey axe.
>Hellfurion catches the handle of the axe with his hand and whips the other out, producing a flaming motorcycle chain that he whips at Grogar, gashing him in the chest.
>Guests around you regain their senses, Princess Celestia included and watch the spectacle unfold.
>Half watch the dueling entities on the rim of a bleeding wound in the world, surrounded by smoke and fire and lightning and noise.
>The other half watch your band thrash about on stage performing your magic. An art lost to the world of spells not governed by words and gestures, but by the squeal of electric guitars and the strength of the words you let erupt from your heart.
>You continue to play as an inferno spews from Hellfurions eyes to match the radiating darkness spilling down Grogar’s cheeks.
>The two beings, in melee, were evenly matched. Grogar would swing with his axe which got tangled in Hellfurion’s chin who would swing back with a sword made of searing plasma that would extinguish in Grogar’s icy grip.
>Your prophet needed more, and you would give it to him.

>>26911054
>Chrysalis drops to her knees as you pick your way up your guitar neck.
>She sings notes so pure that Sombra’s crystals begin to explode, further dicing the remaining shambling corpses and the heavy piece striking Grogar’s backup band, shattering their fragile bones and sending them clattering to the ground.
>Chrysalis’s lyric causes the creases in Hellfurion’s armor to glow hot orange as he uppercuts Grogar into the air and leaps after him.
>A guitar wail from you attracts the metallic fragments of Deathscream and sends them rushing after their master, reforming mid-flight and rebirthing the great chrome steed to fight another day.
>Grogar sprouts two pairs of dripping black bat-wings from his back and charges at the metal messiah, teeth gritted and axe in hand.
>Hellfurion extends his arm into the air and catches a falling star, stretching it out and letting it cool into a steaming iridium spear affixed with an engine and exhaust ports.
>With a flap of his steel wings and a roar of his mount, Satyr and Automoton clash in the sky.
>The titans clash in the sky, sending thunder and lightning spilling over the world. You feel so at one with your metal that you can feel Grogar’s hold on the world weakening, all that does is make you strike your strings harder.
>You glance over your shoulder and pass the final solo off to Artemis who drops to one knee and bends his guitar over his other like a petulant child that he shreds on.

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>>26911072
>Hellfurion and Grogar clash in the molten clouds, an axe made of corpses and shadow sparking against a spear made of atomic fire.
>In your heart you felt Grogar hanging on by his fingertips to this world. Artemis must have felt it too, because he cranks his gain way up and finishes the solo at the same time Hellfurion finishes Grogar.
>The chrome champion opens up his chest and lets the necromancer see his fiery heart at the center of his body.
>Grogar gets naught but a screech out before the nuclear fire of the heart engulfs him and blasts out of Hellfurion, striking something and blasting a hole in the world.
>Time seems to freeze as Hellfurion and Deathscream impale Grogar’s flaming corpse with their spear and drive him through the rift in the world.
>The Neon Knights memorialize this moment with the longest held note you’ve ever done and a drum solo from Sombra that causes the mountains spewing fire into the sky to collapse at the top, sealing off the pathways to the core.
>That night, Equestria gains a momentary second sun and you swear you see the horned, red skinned, brass armored face of God as Hellfurion takes Grogar back to the realm of metal to await his judgement.
>Your final note rings out across the world as the rift explodes into Tirek’s Horns.

>>26911096
>You fall you your knees and breath for the first time in six minutes.
>That was…
“Holy shit!”
>That was the only word you got out before the second loudest thing of the night erupted from everywhere at once.
>Everyone in the room, everyone in the city, everyone in the WORLD it felt like were on their feet applauding, cheering and whistling at you.
>You rises and help Eris and Chrysalis up.
>”They like us…” Eris says.
>”They -really- like us.” Chysalis responds.
>”Can you blame them?” you hear someone ask.
>Celestia, her dress a bit singed and hair frazzled but smiling all the same, elbows her way to the front of the stage.
>”Sister!”
>Artemis breaks rank and embraces his sister. “Are you okay?” he asks.
>The monarch closes her eyes for a moment, enjoying the probably rare embrace she gets from her bratty brother, before chuckling and releasing him.

>>26911107
“Nothing some rest won’t fix, Arty, though it could have been much worse. You and your friends did it! You save the world and you saved it your way! I’m so proud, little brother. Mother and father would be too.”
>Artemis turns a particular shade of red and backs away from Celestia. “Uh…y-yeah Celly.”
“Arty, get your butt up here and see this!”
>Artemis looks over and runs over as Celestia backs off.
>The night prince joins you in overlooking the city below you from what remained of the area behind your stage. People as far as the eye could see littered the streets of Canterlot looking up at you, holding lighters, horns, or bras in some cases up at you in celebration for the feat you had pulled today.
>Chrysalis chuckles. “So…we’re not really topping that any time soon in our careers…now what?”
“Well, we can always try. Future’s a bright place, after all.”
>”I meant what do we do in the next six minutes.”
>All five of you contemplate for a moment.
“Dude, encore.”
>”Heeeell yeah!” Eris says.
>You grabbed your instruments and got ready to show the whole world that the elements of harmony weren’t the only things it had going for it.
>Now it had five more fundamentals.
>Fire, blood, noise, lightning, and metal.

-The End.

>>26911138
=Epilogue=
-Ten years later-
>You sit backstage in the green room of the K-Colt TV studios on the couch with your guitar in your lap, noodling away at the strings.
“What do you think of this? It could go on the next record.”
>Eris sits with her feet up on the couch, leaning on your shoulder and reading a magazine. “The next album is already full, Anon.”
“The one after that, then.”
>Eris chuckles. “Jeeze, are you always on?”
“I thought the point of going solo was to explore more creative outlets. It’s not my fault that I’ve got ideas.”
>Eris turns the page. “A two-person band isn’t exactly “solo”.” She says.
“It is when it’s your name and face we put on all the covers.”
>”Why -do- we do that?”
“Because you look better in tantalizing outfits than I do and I still like going to the store without someone recognizing me.”
>Eris adjusts her but. “I -am- the pretty one.”
>You kiss the back of her neck, she purrs.
“Yes, you are.”
>”I thought I tasted something familiar.” Someone says.
>You and Eris turn your heads and spot an old face standing in the doorway.
>”Hey! It’s Chryssy!” Eris exclaims with glee, rising up.
>The girls do that kissy cheek thing and you get a peck and a hug when you stand up.
“What are you doing here, you old crone?”
>Chrysalis leans back on the wall in her leather jacket. “I was on this show a few days back spreading awareness of the deforestation down in Cervidas. Imagine my surprise when, a night before my flight back, I read that two of my old cronies are on the same show.”
>You laugh.
“And they just let you back in?”
>”I can charm my way into anywhere, you know that.”
“Oh don’t we all.”
>”Doesn’t everyone on this hemisphere is more like it.”
>”I thought I smelled something rank! Sombra!” Chrysalis says.

>>26911171
>The Crystal King walks in from the direction of the stage just as some no doubt clever zinger sends the crowd into a laughing fit. “Hello beautiful.” He says, picking Chrysalis up in a hug.
>”Holy crap, did you get bigger?” Eris asks.
>”Wanna find out?” he asks, leaning on the wall.
“Easy, seabiscuit.”
>You take his hand off the wall and stand next to Eris.
“Three divorces should have made you wise by now.”
>”I’m sorry, does my life as the number one charted artist confuse you, number four?”
>He always brought that up
>”What are you doing here anyway?” Chrysalis asks.
>”I brought him!”
>The shadow on the wall detaches and a blue haired man with a scraggly beard in silk, navy blue clothing and a trimmed cape steps out. A cold iron crown sits atop his head.
“Arty?! How the fuck long have you been standing there??”
>Artemis chuckles and walks over, hugging Chrysalis and then you. “Being a fly on the wall has its uses in politics. How are you all! Oh it’s been -way- too long!”
>Arty goes around and hugs each and every one of you with a beaming smile.

>>26911187

>”You look like retirement is treating you well.”
>”I wake up in less strange places with stranger people, yes.”
>”That hardly sounds fun…” Chrysalis says.
>”You -would- say that, you bimbo.”
>She pinches his cheek.
>From your position in the room, you step back and laugh once.
>”What’re you laughing at, dickless?” Sombra says.
“This—it’s the first time we’ve all been back together since the split.”
>The others look around at each other. “So we are…” Chrysalis says.
>”Do we…do something with that?” Eris says.
“For old time’s sake…?”
>”Can we even negotiate more time on this show?” Sombra says.
>”We’re the Neon Knights. We saved the world and I’m a reigning monarch, I can MAKE them give us time.” Artemis says.
>You look at all your old friends and put your hand in the center of them.
“One more time?”
>You smile when they all put their hands in.

>>26911200
>The studio executives don’t even need convincing; they promise the show as much airtime as it needs for the historic event.
>The host uses his old comedian skills to stall the audience while a ragtag group of roadies are rapidly assembled and gear set up.
>Eventually it was told to the audience, that the Neon Knights had come together for a reunion show in that very building.
>It went over as well as expected.
>When it was time, you all walked out on stage to an adoring public and a feeling you hadn’t quite felt in ten years. Going solo was the right choice, but nothing felt quite the same as Neon Knights fans.
>Chrysalis grabs her mic over the din of cheers. “Look what the cat dragged back from the dead!”
>Sombra punctuates that with a triple bass tap.
>”We thought we’d come out here and show you what we’ve all learned in the last decade, so prepare your ears for orgasm.”
>You’d all agreed on the song back stage, something that never made it onto the last NK record.
>Chrysalis gets close to the mic. “This is the greatest and best song in the world.”
>You take the stage and start your next masterpiece.
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-VMzOUUK40

-The End-ier End.

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>>26911215
Pastebin updated.
http://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid
For 8th: http://pastebin.com/zgrxgfAy
Okay, thoughts?

Whew, okay, THAT'S done.It took 13 months when it really shouldn't have and I apologize for that, but it's done now. Blame depression, Metal Gear, and other crap for the delays.
But hey! Good vibes here. This is probably one of my more favorite stories to have written. I love heavy metal music, culture, and imagery so getting the chance to write a story that not only has some of my favorite music in it every chapter, but is all about the best sides of metal was a treat.
I also relished the opportunity to write some characters that not only do I rarely write, but nobody here does it seems. More villain stories, AiE.

I hope everyone else enjoyed the ride as much as I did and I hope your music libraries were expanded even just a little bit.

As for the future, I have my next fic idea in mind and I might even drop the first chapter as a teaser in here one of these days, but for now I'm going to be taking an ever so small hiatus from writing.
I'm NOT quitting, let's get that out of the way RIGHT fucking now. I'll always have this thread open (Assuming no more Scruffenings happen. >:( ) and I'll be bumping when we need it.
Seriously, they're public pastes.
We're just entering into a busy movie time at work and I have my own backlog of shit I'd like to catch up on, Throughout the last few chapters of this fic I found it harder ro focus on it because I constantly had to ask myself "Do I want to watch those cartoons I need to finish? How about Witcher 3? Could I finish my Pokemon run tonight? I haven't even loaded Deus Ex..." so a bit of time to myself both to live through the lead balloon that is Batman Vs Superman and to burn through my backlog so I can properly focus on my next fic would be appreciated. I'll also use that time to outline the story and give it a proper title.

Till then, AiE. I'll always be here lurking.
Rock on.
\m/

>>26911345
Holy shit I'm surprised your still providing content Mandroid! It's been forever since I've been here! I used to write stories here myself, but then college happened. :/

>>26911686
I always wonder what would have happened if I had written AiE in college. It's not like I did much besides brows tvtropes back then.

>>26911764
Your college years sound relaxed man.

I'm trapped in the pit of despair that is Computer Science. Everyday's a struggle, and all of my freetime I could invest in writing is spent hanging with intellectuals and Chad Thundercocks that I have no business being friends with. Life is strange that way

If I had my time back to me to make a rigid schedule, I'd go back to making stories :( But on the upside, I did take an incomplete series I had, and backburned it into an original concept. Maybe one day I'll write a novel with said concept...one day.

>>26911345
Mother fucking Mandroid, you good sir fucking killed it... AGAIN! This fucking story was just perfect, the music, the characters, the imagery; every chapter just came together perfect.

There were many times when just reading your descriptions of the songs and players made me feel like I was right there. There were times when just listening to the music with the story along side it would even bring a couple tears to my eyes.

I cannot praise this green highly enough, as a huge fan of metal this was... perfect. Thanks Mandroid and I cannot wait for your next green and the many after that!

>>26911875
The relaxed nature of art school is the thing I bought by giving up my chances of making a career off it.

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>>26911971
That's high praise indeed. I'm happy you enjoyed it.

>Many more after

>Be USMC LCPL
>Land flat on your ass in the middle of ponyville
>Green men and ponies everywhere
>There's even a fucking nazi here
>What the fuck did SSgt put in your fucking MRE
>You still have the mop you were supposed to be using to mop up the rain
>Now what

>>26912102
Go find some clouds and a ladder and get mopping, soldier.

>>26912112
>soldier
You just triggered me
>You find this mysterious cloud home thing
>Interesting
>Is it possible to stand on it?
>You find a ladder and climb onto the cloudhouse
>Yes it is
>You start to mop the cloud
>'Man I must be fucking high as FUCK right now' you think
>A blue pony thing flies up to you and gives you a weird look

>>26906146
FR is older then aie... kind of. aie was a bunch of splinter ideas, then became aie, then somewhere around thread 300-400 aie went up its own ass, and a bunch of the more popular ideas split off because seriously, those were dark ass times. and flutter rape rape its on thread again... with non of the original posters if i remember right.

FR may be older, but its not the same FR

>trying to find a particular story you read from years ago
>can only really remember one or two details from it
There's gotta be an easier way

>>26913216
The thing I remember the most about story is that the author posted a link to The Flashbulb - Autumn Insomnia Session in one of the last posts. Or maybe he posted a link to the flash? Either way, I've taken to ctrl+f'ing every instance of "youtube" in the archived AiE threads between /mlp/'s creation and 2014. Here's hoping I find it.

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>>26913417
>youtube
Might've been youtu.be.

>>26913467
Searched it that way but nothing came up. I think, though I'm not sure, that the story involved Rainbow Dash getting concussed and thinking she was Daring Do. Does anybody know the story I'm talking about?

>>26913467
Nevermind, you were right. I was searching for it the wrong way. The story was by Lulzies (rip in peace) back in October 2012:
http://pastebin.com/D38Q3W9f

>>26913556
You are really fucking lucky that I just fucking read that one
http://pastebin.com/D38Q3W9f

>>26913665
>>26913666
holy shit. You're welcome?

>>26913675
>>26913666
thnx bby ;^)

>>26906027
Was there ever a AIE story where,

>Equestia is basically the inside of Pandora's box, Siphoning the magic and magical creatures from earth into a empty void realm.
>Equestia going though a Apocalypse due the seal being broken and earth is regaining its magic leaving Equestia bare.
>Earth is going though its own problems as magic being reintroduced to the realm causes Bermuda triangle and SCP levels of fucked.

>>26911345
Yea, everything >>26911971 this guy said. There is literally nothing about this story start to finish I didn't enjoy immensely. Your choices of songs were amazingly flawless, and the youtube links for them were godsends as this story wouldn't have had the same oomph time and again without them.
Fucking Spirit of Radio for the epilogue. You brilliant bastard.

>>26913665
>>26913666
Wow, that was meant to be.

>>26914401
I always wonder how I'll survive if I ever get anything published in a format that doesn't let me link to mood music on fucking Youtube.

>>26912310
In the beginning, there was Rainbro and Fetishy. They combined, and became AiE. Then at some point, FR spun off to be their own thing.

>>26914839
fetishshy is flutter rape, or at least that was the direction it was headed before the rainbro and fetishshy combined.

she give comes to your door
makes you some food
leaves
you check food
discard the horse sized tranquilizer
eat sandwich.

Granted it was green, but thats one of the last story's a fetish shy thread produced before aie came around, call it another name, its still fetish shy...

That reminds me though, I need to get back to my fetishshy idea I made something like 600-800 threads ago

>>26914875
>Be Anon in Equestria
>Woken up by neighing
>Yellow horse is at your door again
>She's brought you another bale of hay
>This is like the tenth one she's dumped on your portch
>You think she's trying to feed you
>You pet her and take it inside
>You'll trade it with the pink one for some actual food later

>>26914429
It is gonna be the time when Act III is finally released mandroid, the time where music will not be needed for the dead need no music

>>26912102
>>26912144
Calm down, motivator. We already had a ton of boots (including myself) come in and write fucking God-awful self-inserts to show everyone how awesome we thought we were. Just take a step back and look at how dumb you look before trying it again. Do something else instead.

>>26915308
Ok

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>>26912102

>>26914348
None I'm aware of.

>>26915146
>Not building a hay bale fort.

>>26915418
Hello newfag.

“Las Neighgas! Awoo~!” you cheer, hanging out the side of the carriage. “How you doin’ back there, Twi!”
>You had Twilight duct taped to the back panel of the carriage.
>The one bond she couldn’t escape.
>”No! Anon stop! I don’t wanna go to Las Neighgas!” she cried as she struggled against the awesome power of Earth’s finest ingenuity.
>This isn’t a vacation.
>It’s business.
>Apparently Twilight owes a fuckton of rent on the new castle.
>And since you live there now, it’s your problem too.
>You pass the big sign of “Welcome to Las Neighgas” and whip the drivers with the emergency whip from the glove compartment.
“Faster, my minions!” you shout.
>They panic and haul ass down main street.
“Sin City!”
>One slips on a banana peel and the whole carriage turns sideways and starts tumbling several hundred yards before it wraps around a light pole.
>You’re thrown from the carriage and Twilight’s bonds are ripped from the force of the roll.
>You both land side-by-side and on your feet.
>Twilight stares up at the casino.
>”We’re never gonna get our money here!” she says. “We only have ten bits and rent is a million!”
“Lets go win some cash!” you shout as you run inside.

>>26919658

>The first thing you see is a roulette table.
>Running up, you slap all ten bits down.
“Put it all on red!” you tell the pony.
>Twilight runs up and tries to swipe the money off the table.
>”This man doesn’t represent me!” she shouts, trying to fight past you.
“Don’t listen to her, she’s a big piece of shit!” you shout, keeping Twilight away from the table.
>The pony spins the wheel.
>It lands on black.
>”House wins,” he announces.
“Beep boop, we’re fucked,” you say to no one in particular.
>”Why did you do that! Now we don’t have any money!” screams the princess.
“Hey, can I borrow ten bits?”
>”Are you even listening to me?”
“Hey can I borrow twenty bits?”
>”You’re ruining my life!”
“I’m gonna go ruin my liver! See you in the hospital fatass!””
>You grab two random mares under each arm and haul them off to the bar.

>>26919674
“Yo barkeep! Gimme everything you got!”
>You start pounding drinks one after another.
>”Sir, how are you gonna pay for this?” asked the bartender.
“Put it on Princess Twilight’s tab.”
>”You got it.”
>Twilight runs over.
>”Anon, we gotta go find out how we’re gonna pay the rent!” she tells you.
“Chill out, Princess Buzzkill. Have a drink!”
>You grab the nearest bottle of liquor and hold Twilight down as you pour it directly into her mouth.
>”Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” cheers nearby patrons.
“Woo! Drink it all down!” you encourage.
>”Is this gasoline?!” she manages to choke out as the liquid is still being poured into her face.
>You let Twilight fall to the floor and run off.

>>26919682
>Stripping your clothes, you streak through the casino.
“Woo! I’m sexy and I know it!” you sing as your dick flops about.
>You drunkenly trip and fall head first into a nearby slot machine.
>Pulling yourself onto the stool, you pull the lever and let it spin.
>It beeps that you fail.
“Hey! Gimme money back, you stupid machine!”
>Twilight sprints up to you and frantically tugs on your arm.
>“Anon we gotta get out of here! The guards are coming!”
“Whatcha gonna do when they come for you. Ghostbusters!”
>You puke all over the machine and fall face-first into the panel.
>The impact of your skull rolled one of the wheels over and you get all sevens.
>The slot machine starts spitting out all of contents.
>”Holy crap, we’re rich!” shouts Twilight befre she drags you and all the cash back to thw carriage.
>You start riding home with Twilight visibly freaked out.
>”That was horrible. Lets never do that again,” she says.
“Yeah, Las Neighgas got boring real quick…”
>Suddenly another sign catches your eye.
“Las Pegasus!” you shout as you turn the carriage into the city.
>”Nooo!” screamd Twilight.

>>26906339
>>26915146
KEK

>>26918229
Oh, you're new to this website. Well that's mildly forgivable but you shouldn't go around acting like you know what's up because roleplaying is against the rules.

>>26906027
Anyone know if Zivirak is still doing his Hunter Anon story?

>>26920457
yes he is
>>26909952

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i made a thing in commemoration to recent events

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>>26920705
He would sound like pic related

>>26920577
Thank you

>>26915418
>You smile at this boot
>Your rip your cammies off revealing a bomb vest
"Allahu Akbar my friends"
>You smile in heaven, surrounded by your 72 (pony) virgins

>>26921407
Oops, meant (brony) virgins

File: 1458583478140.jpg (23KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

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>>26915146

>>26921075
This one is better.

>>26922715
I don't speak Ebonics. What's it say?

>>26922812
That you're a cuck.

File: AiE.png (140KB, 994x639px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

140KB, 994x639px

this picture alone can describe any and all of Anon's adventures in Equestria.

>>26923775
Why does that horse have whiskers?

>>26923908
Well since the pony doesn't have eyes it has to use something to know about its surroundings. I'm guessing since they're so close to the ears they work in some way to grant the pony a strange kind of echolocation.

>>26923908
More importantly who made that butchered to fuck cello?

>>26923775
Keked out loud.

File: moon.jpg (86KB, 600x291px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

86KB, 600x291px

>>26924156
Tavi, of course. It's a decoy for Anon, to keep the real one safe.

>>26922812
It says the same thing as the other picture, but in latin (assuming that I have translated it correctly)

>>26911875
Suck it up. And learn to network with people as well, not just computers. If you have to resort to searching online for a job and you don't live near a tech city, you've failed before you even graduate.

Make a good portfolio, mooch off job contacts with your friends and try to get the foot in the door before you even graduate. That's my advice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE

>>26906027
Can't unsee Obama

>Be Anon in Equestria
>It's sunday the thirteenth and the moon is full so that means it's an election
>You decide to enter the running
"Vote for me! I'll be the first human president of Equestria! CHANGE!"
>You start pelting ponies with loose change
>"But our leaders are princesses not presidents"
"CHANGE!"
>You hit the complainer in the eye with a bit from your slingshot
>The other ponies wisely decide to just cheer for you

>Be Anon, still in Equestria
>You're talking to Pound Cake, who is your election manager
>"You need to crack open their skulls and eat their brain-meats"
"What was that?"
>"Pull it out"
"Of course! We can use the unpopular war against the goats to our gain if we promise to bring the troops back! you're a genius"
>"Take it you whore"
>Such wisdom

>Day later on, no longer Anon, but still in Equestria
>You're wearing a lots of gold things with sun emblems on them, so you must be Princess Celestia
>Your messenger has brought you bad news
>You just lost the election
>This is a bit of a downer
>You were really hoping to win, you had like twenty bits riding on it against Luna
>Then you hear something truly shocking
>Luna isn't the one who beat you!
>It wasn't even a pony!
>How could Anonymous be more popular than you?
>You're really quite put off by all of this now.
>You thought ponies liked you.
>Now where will you fit his new throne? between your and Luna's or next to one of you?
>Decisions, decisions.

>Be Anon at your inaugueration
>"You need to be naked to accept your new position, Anon"
>You strip down, tossing your clothes into a pile
>Celestia magics over a crown to you
>"I crown you Princess Anon of Equestria."
>As you put on the crown she lowers her head in a bow
>And shoots magic at your crotch
>What the fuck?
>HEY!
"Where's my dick?! Why do i have a pussy?"
>"You're a Princess, Anon. The title kind of explains it."
>Fucking ponies

crosspostan semen demon stuff

>>26926770
>Be Anon in Equestria
>Deus ex machina happens andnow you're a succubus
>A pony succubus with a vagina and a vulva and nubby little crotchboobs
>You go to the pony hospital to get this shit checked out
>They take some blood and tell you to come back in a week once they've run some tests
>Fuck that's too slow
>You go see Twilight, she knows how to fix stuff
"Hey Twilight, I seem to be some sort of weird pony now, can you fix me back to normal?"
>"Okay"
>She shoots magic at you
>Deus ex machina cockblocks her
>"Sorry no can do. You're a succubus, nonny"
"A what?"
>"A semen demon. It's all in this book"
>You take the book from her 'So you're a succubus now, what do?'
>How handy
"Thanks I guess"
>"If you want to thank me, how about letting me try some of your succubus sex powers?"
"I have those?"
>"Yes. It's in the book"
>You have a quick look in the book
>Wow, that is kinda cool sounding
"Okay, let's fuck"
>You and Twiggles fuck for a while
>Her super nerd pent up lust fills you like a thing that fills another thing
>It makes you fat and all pudgy, but not in a gross way
>Wait your penis is missing
"MY PENIS!"
>"Check the book"
>You do that
>It says you can a futa using demonic sexxing wizardry
>It's basically just grabbing your clit and pulling really really hard until part of it breaks off and magics into a cock-n-balls
>It hurts much less than it sounds like it would
>"Hey, wanna try out theat new cock?"
"Okay."
>You fuck that nerd horse some more
>You're too fat to walk now
"Well shit, I'm stuck."
>"Book"
"I can't reach it"
>She holds it in front of you
>Okay, so you need to push in a sort of thataway with this part of your horns
>Now you're sort of floating around like some kind of blimp
>You resolve to buy Twilight some sex toys, it can't be healthy to be THAT pent-up

>>26926931
"Then I quit! Give me my junk back."
>"One cannot quit the title of Princess."
>That type of vernacular could only be from Luna.
>You laugh at her obviously outdated rules, but turns out it is true.
>So instead you have to get yourself impeached.
>You become the whoriest, skankiest, most offensive princess there ever was in an attempt to lose your job.
>Unfortunately the ponies love this new expressionism of their princess.
>Your ratings are higher than ever.
"Fuck me."
>Soarin, your minister of all things pie, which happened to include the eternal servitude of the Pie family due to a loophole, unzips his flight suit.
>"Is that a request?"
"Shut up before I make you minister of walking bowlegged."

File: 1417596749333.jpg (32KB, 514x566px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

32KB, 514x566px

>>26926463
Fork you.
Same here now.

What if Cadence and Shining Armor asked Anon to be Flurry's godfather?

>>26906027

Daily reminder:

This is the destination for all cartoon/anime pony related content on 4chan. (Note: This rule has been changed to accommodate Filly Funtasia, and does not override previous rule clarifications that ban certain threads.)
This is a work safe board. No pornographic images or other not safe for work content is allowed (this includes clop).
Topics must be show-related. When discussing people, they must be associated with the show and not the fandom.
No roleplay.
Ponies only—no anthro.

>>26927730
>This rule has been changed to accommodate Filly Funtasia
I'm still waiting...

>>26926463
God. Dammit.

>>26927772
Soon

>>26927719
He'd have to smooth things over with Jersey Families and move some weight down south til the feds get off his back, capisce?

>>26928881
Seems reasonable.

>>26928881
But what about Big Pone? That fat fuck won't like this.

So, should I cute or feels next?

>>26931733
The answer to doing one or the other is always both.

>>26931733
cute feels

>>26931733
cute plz

>>26931733
Cut_ Fee_s

Update inbound.

Last chapter: http://pastebin.com/sq3fXm99

>You are Rarity, and at the moment you are sleeping ever so peacefully.
>That is until the morning sun peeks through the slits of the blinds and begins to fill the room with its light.
>You shift slightly to get your face out of a direct beam which causes your bedfellow to tighten his grip on your waist and bury his face into your fur.
>And before the implications of that cause you to panic, you recall what transpired last night.
>Your little brother Anonymous had asked you to spend the night with him after a bad day and you agreed.
>And why wouldn't you?
>Your fur stands on end briefly when he takes a large breath of air.
>Ohh... You didn't get a chance to bathe last night after such a long day, you must smell awful.
>However, he sighs contentedly in his slumber and you can feel him smile against your back.
>Well he may be fine with it, but you refuse to let anypony else catch wind of you like this.
"Anonymous." You call out a little louder than you meant to.
>He suddenly snorts and jolts awake.
>"Lilac's on the breeze, land ho!"
>The two of you look at each other confused for a moment before he realizes he was dreaming.
>"Sorry, I was dreaming about being out at sea again."

>>26932421
"Was it a good dream?"
>"Yeah, actually. It's the first time I've been able to dream about the ocean without it being scary in a while. Weird that I kept smelling flowers though."
>He looks at you before leaning in and inhaling your scent.
"Oh! Please let me go get a bath in first."
>"You smell fine to me, it's because of your scent that I was able to sleep like that. So thanks for staying with me sis, I appreciate it."
"Flattery will get you everywhere darling, but I simply must go check on Sweetie Belle. The fact that I haven't heard a peep from her yet is disconcerting. Can you handle breakfast by yourself?"
>"It's cereal, not brain surgery. I'll be okay, besides I'm feeling a lot better today."
"That's good to hear, now if you'll excuse me."
>Hopping out of bed, you head towards Sweeite's room while Anonymous makes his way to the kitchen.
>Entering the nursery, you look into her crib and thankfully find her sleeping quietly.
>Good, you should have some time to clean up and eat before a repeat of yesterdays events.
>A shiver runs down your spine at the thought but at least your parents will be home in the morning and you can return the responsibility to them.
>The rumbling in your stomach takes you right past the bathroom and towards the kitchen where Anonymous has already prepared two bowls of cereal and is in the middle of buttering some toast.
>"Butter or jam Rare?"
"Jam, if you please."
>"Coming right up!"

>>26932441
>Expertly spinning the butter knife around his fingers, he dips it into the jar of grape jam before pulling out a healthy blob of the sweet preserve and spreading it out over two slices of toast.
>Plating the toast, he puts down your respective servings before walking back to pull out your chair.
"Oh my! Such a gentleman."
>"The Captain taught me everything I know." He says pushing in your chair effortlessly.
"I'm sure he'd be proud."
>"Yeah, well it was more like the crew taught me but most of it was by the Captain."
"What about your mother?"
>His smile droops a bit at the corners before he answers.
>"I figured you'd ask about her eventually. She disappeared before I was old enough to remember so I only know what my dad and the crew told me."
>You gasp.
"I apologize Anonymous. If it's too personal then-"
>"No it's okay. If what I know is true, I'm probably better off. Apparently my dad and uncle became friends when they were in the Navy together, my dad didn't really have a family to come home to so my uncle Incognito invited him to go back to his hometown after their tour of duty. My dad met my uncle's younger sister and they eventually got married and had me."
"So what happened to her then?"
>"Well it wasn't always love and harmony between them. There were a lot of arguments and Uncle Incognito even said he always knew she'd drive a man crazy one day. So one day she packed up and left without even saying goodbye or taking me with her. It wasn't the first time she'd left like that so they didn't start looking for her until she'd been gone for almost a week, and it was over a month after that when she sent a letter from Canada saying not to look for her. After that my dad took all the money he'd saved from the Navy and working that he was gonna buy a house with and he bought an old fishing boat. Uncle Incognito joined up because he didn't want to leave his friend behind like my mom did and that's why the boat was my whole life."

>>26932455
"That a mother could just leave her child like that is simply inconceivable!"
>"It's fine sis. Kinda hard to miss someone I never knew. Besides, the crew was all the family I needed."
"Tell me about them." Your curiosity has obviously been piqued and you'd like to take the opportunity to get to know Anonymous better.
>"Well we just had a seiner boat, so it was a smaller crew. We did a lot of surface fishing for stuff like sardines, tuna, salmon and the like." He lifts his fingers up to count out. "So the Enigma's crew was made up of The Captain, Engineer Incognito, Purser Riley O'Reilly, Physician Salvador Oscuro, then the Zheng brothers Li and Wei who were mainly deckhands and two halves of a whole cook according to my dad. Oh, and of course yours truly."
"Were you all close?"
>"Definitely, I grew up with them on The Enigma and we all considered each other family. My dad hired Riley to handle the books on shore and he said she'd even have been a great replacement for mom if she didn't eat more carpet than him. Still not sure what that means but she did all kinds of mom stuff for me anyway. Sal was cool even though he was only 'technically' a doctor, but if it was a part of you that you could break, he could fix it. The brothers showed me everything they knew about cooking while Uncle Incognito taught me anything he could about machinery."
"It seems my family has a lot to live up to."
>"It's not like that, I'm happy your dad decided to bring me in and it's a lot of fun being your little brother. I know I said it already last night, but thanks again for everything. Although I'd kill for hamburger."
"..."
>"..."
>"It's a figure of speech."
"Rrright... Well think nothing of it dear. Now I do believe your cereal is getting soggy."
>"Crap. Well just let me know if you need any help with Sweetie."
"Oh believe me I will."
>Finishing breakfast, you ask Anonymous to keep an eye on Sweetie while you bathe.

>>26932471
>Sinking into the warm water, you let the heat soothe away all of the fatigue from yesterday that sleep couldn't.
>Despite it taking a little longer to fall asleep than usual, you actually slept quite comfortably once Anonymous wrapped himself around your waist.
>Your forehooves sink into the water and rest on your belly where his arms were.
>The boy has quite the grip, although it didn't feel very big sisterly to be the one held like that.
"Then again neither did that kiss."
>Now you've done it.
>You try to remind yourself that it was purely accidental.
"True, but..." Your hoof reaches up to touch your lips again.
>It doesn't count as an accident if you TRY to make it happen.
"Oh pooh, accursed logic. I just wish it didn't happen so fast."
>Then again, you told him it's okay since your his sister.
>Your eyes widen at the realization and you bite your lower lip with a little more than a hint of excitement.
"Too true. After all, a girl's first kiss is precious and to lose it in such a manner is just tragic. A do-over is all I ask."
>Besides, one little kiss is all you need.
>But the consequences are another matter entirely.
>Finally clean and having come to terms with yourself, you decide to continue the day as per usual and make your move tonight.

>>26932494
>Returning to your duties, you find Anonymous laying on the couch with a book while using his foot to rock Sweetie Belle's basket as she contentedly nurses on a bottle.
>Your sister giggles happily when she see's you causing Anonymous to put his book down.
>"Hey Sis. I already took care of changing and feeding her."
"Really? How ever were you able to stand the smell?"
>"I lived on the sea and have been gutting my own fish since I was like three, so changing that diaper was only smelled slightly worse."
>The boy never ceases to amaze you.
"So what can I do?"
>"Relax, I guess. I'm sure you had your hands full with her yesterday so I'll help you out until your folks come back."
>Well, there's some welcome consideration if you've ever seen any.
>Grabbing one of Sweetie's toys, you lay in front of her rocker to play with her while Anonymous continues with his book and the day continues on in this fashion with Anonymous lending a helping hand whenever you need it.
>Day turns to night and once the two of you are sure that the baby is out for the night, you both decide to follow suit.
>"Night sis."
"Goodnight dear."
>What happened to the plan?
"Will you be alright by yourself tonight?"
>"I think so yeah." Although he does say it with a bit of hesitation.
>Come on now, think of something.
"Well how about I tuck you in?"

>>26932511
>He chuckles and shakes his head.
>"If you insist."
>Excellent.
>Stretching his arms up in the air, you hear his back pop and he lets out a sigh of relief as he walks towards his bed before crawling in under the covers with you following in right after.
>"I thought you were gonna tuck me in?"
"Of course I meant 'us' darling."
>"Sure you did. Oh well, I like how soft your fur is anyway."
>This boy is going to be quite the heart breaker one day.
>Unless some kind mare decides to take his heart first.
>Let's just focus on a the task at hand, overwriting that kiss.
>Tightening up the sheets and blankets, you happily face Anonymous.
>"Is everything okay Rarity? You're acting kinda weird."
>Drat, he's on to you.
"Oh it's nothing dear, just hoping mother and father bring back some good news tomorrow."
>"Right, the citizenship thing. It was hard to pay attention while I was sick, but I guess this means once summer's over I'll be going to school?"
"Indeed."
>"Cool. I've never been to school before."

>>26932522
"You haven't?"
>"No, everything I learned the crew taught me, or I read out of a book." He points to the shelves full of technical manuals and reference books that he's been keeping himself entertained with.
"I see. Well you're a bright young lad so I'm sure that it won't be any trouble for you."
>"Thanks sis."
"Now then let's be off to sleep, but first-"
>You lean over Anonymous who just looks at you expectantly.
>Taking the plunge, you close the gap and kiss him on the lips once again. This time taking care to savor the feeling.
"There. Much better."
>Satisfied, you take hold of his arm and lay your head upon the pillow while he traces his lips with a finger.
>"Was that another goodnight kiss?"
"Of course. Was it not to your liking?"
>"No, I mean um. I don't know. It was soft?"
>Now to cover your tracks.
"Would you like another one?"
>"Sure, if that's okay with you."
"Then you'll have to promise to keep this a secret. Just something fun between you and me. Deal?"
>"I promise."
"Good boy."
>The two of you share another sweet kiss that's not nearly as melodramatic as those romance novels make it to be, but that may be due to Anonymous' innocence, which you obviously have not stolen from him and shame on anypony that would think otherwise.
>You bet your friends back at school will be quite jealous.
>Although you won't be able to tell them the whole truth, you can honestly say you had your first kiss.
>Tonight was even better than last night in Equestria.

That's all I got for now folks. Hope y'all enjoyed and feel free to let me know how I did.

Paste here; http://pastebin.com/GaJfaivf

Nice.
Rarity is a pretty sweet mare.

>>26932421
Tex lives!

hey just a couple questions? Where is the Jannon story? Was it resumed? If so where can i find it?

>>26932548
How cute and slightly lewd

Are there any good fics where anon has a qt spider gf?

>>26935233
http://pastebin.com/raw/BSf7FjsT

>>26935347
Thanks. Are there any more? This is precisely my fetish.

crosspostan ayylmao anon like usual
>Anon's in equestria
>Is to ponies what a sexy space alien chick would be to humans.
>Um, i guess they think he's from space too because why not
>It might even be true.
>So there's ponies following him around trying to learn more about him
>They study everything he does in the hopes of learning cool alien space magic and that guff
>EVERYTHING HE DOES
>So Anon hecides that if all these ponies are going to stare at him all day he may as well make some use of them
>He straps boxes and trays to his observers
>More observers are sent to invvestigate this
>They are promptly turned into a set of self-propelled chairs
>Anon continues to augment ponies around him
>The princesses order the ponies to let Anon continue, because they think it's amusing.

File: 1602__safe_solo_crossover_parody_nightmare+moon_moon_tim+burton_the+nightmare+before+christmas_artist-colon-greygnu.png (633KB, 1067x600px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

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>>26935433
There is, but it's not my fetish, so I haven't saved them.
You can probably search the archive for the keywords.

File: Anon - Nightmare Moon 16.jpg (186KB, 2068x1430px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

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Bump from 10.

>>26936730
What is happening with Anon's waist

>>26936749
his shirt is partly untucked

>>26936749
You've never worn a shirt before?

>>26936927
oh

>>26936939
I've never worn pants

>>26938143
Skirts4lyfe

>>26932548
Rarity is a big sister-in-law I'd like to fuck.

>>26938880
>In-law
Casual.

>>26939540
>having ugly families
No wonder you feel personally attacked

>>26938226
makes me feel pretty

Testing. Oh hey a best poner

>>26942142
das cute

>>26941342
>poner
lol

>>26919692
>tfw ignored
I'll try harder.

>>26942935
Please do. Though simple the effort was appreciated.

Is it just me or did everyone's pastebin turn a fruity text style?

>>26944076
its april fools and thats comic sans

>>26944097
No wonder it looked so pretty. Just like >>26940459 in a dress.

>>26944104
you can turn it off by clicking on "kill it with fire" which can be found right underneath the the public pastes section to the right

>>26944097
>comic sans
The superior font. They should make it permanent.

crosspostan not sex
>>26944728
>Be Anon in Equestria
>Hug the princess when you meet her because she's so cute
>Ponies all freak out
>You try to get them to tell you why they're acting like this
>Eventually princess pony figures out that an alien wouldn't know all about pony ways
>"Do your kind not reproduce, Anon? When a stallion holds a mare like that she starts growing a foal inside her"
"Just from a hug?"
>"Are hugs different where you come from? They're not just something you do casually here."
>Oops
"Yeah, they're just a sign of affection without any lasting effects for humans."
>Princess mutters quietly "So lewd."

File: FB_IMG_14455707300713166.jpg (214KB, 800x1047px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

214KB, 800x1047px

Haven't made something for awhile. Have this one instead.


---------
"I don't want to jump into conclusions but yeah, I think RD does like me!" You say excitedly.
>"Darnit Anon! I thought you were just friends. Never really expected you had something more between the two of ya!" Apple jack pipes in as she playfully jabs you in the ribs.
"I-I never really knew either. She just suddenly gets romantic on me like that," you say with a snap of a finger.
>"Oh Anon, darling! You lovesick puppy you! I'm really happy for you! Now, speaking of which, where is she?" Rarity asks.
You shrug and give her a warm smile. "She said to meet me up here at the Sugarcube Corner since she'll give me something."
>"Give you..?" Rarity leans closer excitedly.
"A kiss?" You say while trying to keep a straight face.
>Both AJ and Rarity had a good laugh on that.
>"Ooooooooooooooooooh! My friends are here! Hiya AJ and Rarity! And my most favoritest hooman!" The pink ball of fun says as she bops your nose. "Now, is it true that you and RD are gonna get married and make lots of babies?"
>Rarity just glowers at Pinkie while your face turns beet red.
"Whoa hey now! We're gonna get there. Slowly but surely,alright?" You say as you try to suppress a smile.
>"But still, the two of you would be the awesomest and the cutest couple there is! This calls for a PARTY!" She says after pulling out her party cannon from under the table.

>>26944746
>"Speaking of the devil, there's ya muse, Anon," AJ says as she notices RD at the door.
>"Hi Anon! Sorry if I'm a bit late. It's a wee bit hard to write so.." She says as she slides an envelope to you.
>It has a heart sticker on the flap.
>You can hear the girls clap excitedly as you open the letter.
>Well? Read it out loud, Anon!" Rarity beams.
"Dear Anon, You've been a good friend to me and I'm happy that I met you." You give RD a sly smile as you hear them go 'awwwwwwww'
"We've been friends for awhile now and I think this is the right time that we go to the next level. I want to be more than your friend.." You trail off.
"..and I hope you feel the same way for me." You look at RD fondy and give her your warmest smile. "Of course I feel the same way," you add with a wink.
>"Read it all up, you dummy!" RD says as if she's trying hard not to laugh.
"Huh. That's all it is I think," you say as you reread the letter. You flip it and notice something written on the bottom.

>>26944749


"April Fools," you mutter.
" ..."
>"What is it,Anon?" Rarity asks as she levitates the letter to her.
>"Rainbow Dash! This is just cruel!" She says angrily.
>"What?! It's just an April Fool's prank! Sheesh! You guys are no fun!"
" ..."
>"Hah! I got you real good there,Anon! Now lets go prank someone!" RD says as she grabs you by the arm but you wouldn't budge.
>"Hey..You aren't mad at me. Are you?" She asks worryingly.
"I-uh no! Hah. You got me real good there alright," you murmur. "Hey listen, I think the doughnuts didn't agree with me so..it might be a good idea if I head home before I cause an accident," you smile weakly.
>"Aw c'mon! Don't bail out on me! We still got lots of ponies to prank!"
"I'm sorry. Just..have fun."

>>26944754

>"Hey Anon! Hey!" RD shouts as she flies after you.
>She catches up on you and hovers beside you. "Listen,I'm sorry,alright? You should know that this is just a prank I mean, I'm not into the whole interspecies thing,you know." She adds sheepishly.
"A good prank is a good prank. Hell, I need to do some homework if I want to get even," you say as you give her a grin.
>"So, you're not mad at me?" She asks hopefully.
"Nope."
>"Are you sure?"
"Uhuh."
>"You're not gonna kill yourself, are you?"
"What? No! Not gonna kill myself over a stupid prank." You wave dismissively.
>"Promise? "
"Aw c'mon Dash. You know me,right? Now go prank someone else. I need some rest," you say as you close the door.


>"Hey Twilight, any chance that you've seen Anon?" The cyan pegasus asks worryingly.
>The purple mare just shakes her head no. "I haven't seen him in days and he's supposed to help me on an experiment yesterday!"
>"Is everything alright between the two of you?" She asks as she notice the worry on RD's face.
>"I knew I shouldn't have pranked him. Oh Celestia if something happens to him.." RD whispers as she flies to your home.

>>26944758

>"Anon? Anon are you home?"
>"Look, I'm sorry,alright? Anon?"
>Dash spots a slightly open window but hesitates at first. It doesn't take long before she pries it open and shimmies inside.
>"Anon? This isn't funny anymore!"
>The house is eerily quiet. She takes notice of the pile of letters by the door.
>"If this is a prank, you got me real good,bro."
>"Please.." She pleads as she looks up the stairs.
>"Anon? Are you here?" She asks as she opens the door slowly. A piece of paper on the bed catches her attention.
>April Fools.
>A chill runs through her body causing her to let go of the paper.
>Then she catches something on her peripheral.
>A bloodied hand clutching a pistol.
>And Ponyville was awakened by the screams of the pegasus.

---------------------

http://pastebin.com/JujHeSvA

>>26944761
good job
April fools/10

>>26942935
u better

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Some jokes just go too far

Testing

>>26946022
Positive

Ew namefags

>>26946428
>>26947310
What is this, a thread of Marissa's?

>not going through the effort to give /mlp/ horse names
0/10

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>>26947321
fuck out of here Adrian
this doesn't concern you

>>26945878
>>26946017
>>26946022
>>26946428
>>26947310
>>26947321
>>26947342
>>26947343
+1
But really, April Fools was yesterday. It's time to stop living in the past.

>>26947372
Maybe this is some kind of bait I don't understand. It's not even noon yet.

>>26947427
Check the nation flag.

>>26947451
/mlp/ doesn't have flags. I thought only /pol/ and /int/ had those.

>>26947571
That's what you think Turd Ferguson.

>>26947342
Would have been nice

What is this theme supposed to be from?

>>26948532
Seems to be kind of a google plus/tumblr-esque theme.

Oh boy I hope I get a cool name.

>-----One Day Later-----

>You're officially a competing athlete. By royal Proclamation too.
>Now you've got to prepare. You'll show those confounded ponies what's what.
>And the princesses sent you a list of events too. Ok, what can you actually compete in?
>Aerial Relay. Nope, only one man
>Aerial Sprint. With a little human ingenuity perhaps.
>Ice Archery. Ha ponies don't know you're descended from the green archer, Robin Hood
>Apple-Bucking? Not even gonna touch that one
>Wrestling. I'm the tower of power, to sweet to be sour, funky like a monkey, OOOOOH YEAH!
>Swimming. In the bag, not even sure ponies can swim.
>Tae-hoof-do. Yeah sure, I watched karate kid. I'll wax their shit.
>Figure Skating. Gay
>Figure Flying. Gayer?
>Javelin. How would a pony even throw a spear?
>Sprint. As long as there's no zebra's I can take it.
>Marathon. Fucking zebra's better not be like kenyans.
>Qualifiers in a month. Oh man, you can't waste time.
>"TO THE TRAIN STATION!"
>"Anon who are you talking to?"
>"Oh. Hey Spike. You're still here?"

>-----The next day in Saddle Arabia-----

>"Come! Come my Friend! I have special price just for you!"
>The pony in the sand covered robe waves you inside.
>"So you got the stuff I asked for Horssan?"
>"Yes yes. Come my friend. Is just there."
>Indeed it is. Four pots of black, gloopy bullshit.
>And more importantly the key to one of your future victories
>"Crazy Horssan's prices be crazy. But I am wondering. Why would my friend be crazy enough to pay so much for useless black slime?"
>"Far from useless Horssan. Far from useless. Hehahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

>>26949080
>-----One month later-----

>Rainbow falls is way too much like Candyland. All that's missing is the Chocolate Brick Road.
>"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
>"HEY BULK"
>Can't see /fit/pony incarnate but you did expect someone like him to be here.
>Time to register and kick ass and take names. You're going to show these ponies the Glory of Olympus
>"Name and team please."
>"Anonymous. The Glorious Free Republic of 4chanistan."
>"The qualifier for aerial sprint is in 6 hours. Cutting it kind of short there ain't ya."
>The pony with the clipboard finally looks up at you.
>"HEY! You don't have wings!"
>Awww, the pony thinks you aren't prepared.
>"Human's don't fly like ponies do."
>The little pony looks at you skeptically but waves you in.
>"Anon? What are you doing here?"
>"Twilight. I'm here to compete."
>"COMPETE?!"
>You chuckle and walk away leaving the purple pone spluttering with confusion.

>-----6 hours later at the starting line-----

>"YAY NONNY!"
>My god. Pinkie dressed as a cheerleader. You're honestly not sure whether to get a boner or have a heart attack.
>"Hey Pinkie, you guys come to cheer me on?"
>"Yepper-roonie"
>"Ah'm more interested in seein ya fly sugarcube."
>"Yeah Anon. How could you not tell me you can fly? I could have taught you some totally awesome moves."
>"Erm... Anon.. What's that big thing on your back? If you don't mind me asking...."
>"ON YOUR MARKS!"
>You pull your best Buzz Lightyear impression and hit the big red button on your chest.
>Two huge steel grey wings shoot out of your jetpack. Ponies leap back in surprise.
>"READY!"
>"To infinity! AND BEYOND!"
>"GO!"
>*BOOOMFWOOOOOOSSSHHHH*
>Who knew your limited knowledge of engineering and the cartoon physics of this world could let you build a working jetpack.

http://pastebin.com/bE32yUhX

>>26944735
Why do you talk like a fucking Polandball comic?

>>26949516
because it's durnk

>>26949516
It's Durnk. You'll get used to it, newfriend

>>26949106
>The Glorious Free Republic of 4chanistan
>also known as The Interdimensional Dumpster Fire

also
>quoting Buzz Lightyear
you owe me a new pair of sides

wat

Wrote a thing, not entirely sure why.

>It was a fine day in Ponyville.
>Ponies going about their business, ponies chatting with each other, ponies watching you work.
>No matter how often you do this, they're always entranced by it.
>So you started adding a bit of flair, turning it into a combination of work and performance art.
>It got you a few extra bits from the bystanders, but mostly it helped get them acclimated to your particular talents.
>Not that you had much cause to be using them here, but you kept causing mild panics when you did something without thinking.
>You'd think these ponies hadn't encountered fire before.
>Sure, for most people being on fire is a bad thing, but you aren't from where most people live.
>The final batch of rolls you were baking were about done, so it was time to finish up.
>They're currently lined up along your left arm, with faint licks of flame running underneath them.
>Readying a tray, you give the fire a quick surge of intensity, then neatly slide the rolls onto the tray with a flourish.
>The front row of ponies flinches at the surge of heat, but are the quickest to start the hoofstomping that you have learned is pony applause.
>You bask in the attention as you clean up, wiping the flour and flakes of crust off your arms with an accompanying shimmer of flame.
>It doesn't take long for your rolls to be replaced with bits, and once the last ones are gone you gather up your supplies and bring them back to Sugarcube Corner.
>Technically speaking, you were employed by the Cakes, your little side venture got started after a particularly busy day.
>They'd had enough orders that they physically couldn't bake it all fast enough in their oven, so you'd grabbed some of the simpler items and started baking them right behind the counter.
>Pinkie was the one who had the idea to make entertainment out of it, naturally.
>She even helped come up with ways to make it flashier.

>>26951131

>"Anonymous?"
"Hmm?"
>You turn to see who it was, finding Twilight Sparkle.
>An immensely curious little pony, she's had many questions about you since you've arrived, and you've done what you can to answer them.
>"I've been wondering... What happened to your hands?"
>The question genuinely surprises you, until you look down at your hands.
>Oh.
>Right.
>Your hands were rather messily scarred up to the elbows.
>It looks horrible, but it wasn't bad enough to impede your movement, and it's been long enough you had forgotten it was even there.
"I... burned them."
>"What? How? From what I've seen, I didn't think that was even possible."
>You motion over to a nearby booth, taking a seat as she sits opposite you.
"I've said before how my people all have this Inner Fire. So long as we control it, it cannot hurt us. With training, it is possible to also hold sway over regular fire, or even the Fire of another, though such a thing is generally not considered proper."
>Twilight nods, listening intently.
"When one comes of age, man or woman, peasant or prince, they are tested. Brought before an enclave of firemasters, they are given a single word of instruction. 'Burn.'"
>Her eyes drill into yours as you continue.
"This is mostly for theatrics, you are told what is expected of you beforehand. The purpose of the test is to allow one to push their Fire to its absolute limit, well beyond what can be safely controlled, with the masters there to protect them from their own power."
>"But why?"
"To figure out how powerful their Fire is, and their current ability to control it. In times of war, the powerful can be called on to serve, should the need arise. Is there nothing similar here with your magic?"
>"There's a few tests to gauge a unicorn's magical potential, but nothing as reckless as what you're describing. What if people get hurt?"

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>>26951148

>You hold up an arm.
"They do, if their Fire proves stronger than the testers are anticipating. A lucky few turn out to be so powerful that they completely immolate their physical form, becoming a spirit of pure flame."
>"Lucky?!"
"Yes. My people hold the Fire above all else. You're the princess of friendship, how would you feel if a pony was such a potent font of friendship that their body fell away, leaving nothing but their friendship?"
>"What would that even look like?"
"I don't know. That's the problem with intangible forces. At least with my Inner Fire, it can be seen, can be felt."
>"Right. Well, thanks for answering my question, it's given me quite a bit to think about."
"Anytime, Twilight."

I suppose for reference, this anon is based on a character I made once for a tabletop game. Custom setting, I have no clue how much the GM had fleshed out everything, but the blurb us players got included a country whose name had a literal translation of "Fire", so I decided to dig into the system's mechanics to see how literalyl I could put the literal in 'literally "Fire"'. As a result of my creating a firezerker, we had a nation where everyone had some level of fire powers, leading to things like bakers baking right in their hands. The game started with me serving as a guard/backup smelter for a mining camp.

>>26951191
so something like the fire nation?

>>26951423
I guess? I don't watch anime.

>>26949516
Because fuck you that's why.

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These random names ruin my opening fun, but I’m going to use it anyway.

Spoon-Licker Anon

Hello Anons. Look at the title, now back to me, now look at the date, now back to me. What’s that in your hand? Back to me. I have it, it’s an S. Look again, the S is gone. Anything is possible on a day like today. I’m a horse.

If you’ve been around the past two years then you may know that today is my traditional prank update. This time I have decided to cut straight to the chase. However, the surprises don’t stop there. We’re going to have our fun in a new way.

Anons of every gender, I present to you a fan continuation of M8’s own Kid Anon story.

Poon-Licker Anon Chapter 5: Shit’s Not Canon

History Lesson: Long ago, in this very general, an Anonymous not unlike any of us threw out a fateful idea. Somehow Anon stumbles upon the discovery that pony buttholes each have a distinctive flavor. Ponies also apparently have a separate maregasm from their butt that can only be described as, and I quote, a “tasty ambrosial nectar.” To top it all off, ponies are very receptive to receiving said rimjobs, and Anon seeks to taste them all. FOR SCIENCE!

Whether horrified or honored knowing you share the same planet with such a person, M8 answered the call; bringing us 4 chapters with associated drawings.

Story Summary: Anon is 12 (what is this?) and is very capable of living on his own. He often cooks, cleans, does laundry, pretends to know what the hell he is talking about, and survived on his own as a homeless jobber for the first few weeks in Equestria. This paired with pony’s ignorance of humans has them all believing Anonymous is a fully grown, and more importantly consenting, adult. Anon is as thick as an anime protagonist and simply thinks he is treating everyone as a friend.

He is currently living with Cheerilee who he considers a mother while she considers him a soulmate.

(0.25/11)

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>>26952610

His first taste was Fluttershy who he approached rather blazingly, targeting her because she was meek like some sort of butt slobbering rapist. If you want the flavor you’ll have to read the stories.
His second taste was Rarity who swooned, swindled, and misled Anon that she was sick. Anon’s answer? Tongue her fartbox.
His third taste WOULD have been Cheerilee, but she is luckless as a Japanese Christmas cake, having to settle for Anon’s absent fondling when she too convinces Anon that she is sick in the body and not in the head.
His ACTUAL third taste was Gilda, which was like joke bro blowjob tier. However, she’s not a pony so we don’t count her.

Okay, I’m being pretty facetious here, but let me have my fun. In all seriousness check it out if you like Kid Anon stories even if you skip all the butt stuff.

Links to M8’s work.
Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/u/IcomeanonM8
Imgur: http://imgur.com/a/iGLK6#0

(0.5/11)

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>>26952623

>You are Anonymous
>A brand new day shines through Cheerilee’s bedroom window, illuminating the rather bland room and pulling the sleep from your eyes. You stretch awake beneath the quilted covers; enjoying the trapped warmth as your back gives a very satisfying pop.
>The stints of sleeping on the floor against Cheerilee’s bed when you worried for her health and the nap with Gilda on the forest floor really did a number on your spine, but one good night of rest fixed everything.
>Especially on a fluffy mattress.
>Sure it is her bed and you usually sleep on the couch, but she is still at Canterlot. Normally you would not even consider it, but your back really needed the luxury.
>She wouldn’t mind, right?
>Plus, you’ll make the bed and you just washed the sheets.
>No harm done.

>After finishing your morning routine you grab a carrot from the fridge for breakfast.
>You are still determined to spend as little of the money Cheerilee left you for food as possible, and since most of your chores were done yesterday you can focus on earning your keep.
>There is always an odd job here or there that you can help with, though you would not be in this position if you stopped refusing ponies when they tried to pay you.
>You just offered a helping hand whenever you saw a pony in need, and usually it was for small things. Not like a job-job. It would not feel right.
>So you declined their bits. They then offered whatever token they had available like an apple or leftovers of a home cooked meal.
>You loved accepting those.
>Maybe you could find a job-job today. Then you would have some news to share with Cheerilee when she comes back.
>And you know just where to start.

(01/11)

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>>26952637

>Bon Bon was not a happy customer.
>Your offer of being a taste tester was met with a stern look and something about another mare trying to pull that one on her.
>You were a connoisseur of candy with the sharpest sweet tooth in the land.
>You poke your canines with your tongue. Perhaps that was not the best thing to mention.
>Well, plenty of fish left in the sea as they say.

>Screwloose pushed you away in a frightful panic as soon as you entered her shop. No idea why.
>Davenport gave you a similar response as Bon Bon stating that your couch sleeping experience did not make you an adequate salespony.
>Nor did your nimble fingers make you a suitable masseur for the spa.
>The few shops you could convince of your skill said they were unable to hire more staff.
>With each rejection the list of things you were good at grew smaller. You even tried getting a job at bowling alley just because, with zero success.
>Today was turning out to be a bust.

>As you walk through the marketplace thinking where else to ply your trade, your legs subconsciously lead you down the familiar road to Sugarcube Corner.
>Before the idea of spending some of that food money on a cupcake can enter your head a grey pony with purple mane and tail wearing a dull blue smock exits through the door and ends up right in front of you.
>Despite your own surprise at the sudden encounter when she finally notices you she only gives a blank stare forcing you to break the ice.
“Hey, you must be Maud.”
>”I am.”
“Cool. Pinkie talks about you a lot.”
>”She does.”
>The conversation swiftly dies down with several awkward seconds filling the gap, her eyes staying trained on you.
>”And you must be Anonymous.”
“That’s right. How did you know?”
>”Pinkie told me there was a strange new pony in town unlike anything she has seen before. You fit the description.”
>There was a time when you were harder to describe; a time when you blended with the crowd.

(02/11)

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>>26952653

>Ignoring the train of thought you give a joking smile.
“The number of times I’ve heard that. Are you here to visit her?”
>”I am, but she had to leave so I am on my way home.”
“Oh? Did she have to go on a super secret mission?”
>Maud looks away for a second, then back to you.
>”She did use that phrase, yes.”

>Those ponies sure have been doing a lot of running around lately.
>You were lucky to catch Fluttershy and Rarity when you did.
>Whatever it is you are sure everything will be fine.
>After-all, what could go wrong?
“She will probably be gone for a few days. You should come back then.”
>”This was to be my last visit before going to Macintosh Hills. I will be gone for three months.”
“That is a long time. At least you got to spend one last day together.”
>”We didn’t. I just arrived.”
“Then you should wait until she comes back!”
>The fire in your belly rises.
>Maud tilts her head, but that is the only change.
>”I came to say goodbye. We said goodbye.”
“But if you won’t see each other again for so long you should spend as much time together as you can.”
>”We have bonded in the time allowed. That has been accomplished.”
“You said you were heading home right? Can’t you leave for Macintosh Hills from here?”
>Maud’s vacant stare breaks from you, and she closes her eyes. The various ponies trying to get in and out of Sugarcube Corner try to squeeze around without disturbing her.
>You would move, but this is important.
>If anyone would be hurt by losing the chance to be with their sister it would be Pinkie Pie.
>Something big must be happening for her to have to run off.
>You hope Cheerilee is safe in Canterlot.
>And Gilda too, wherever she is.

>Maud’s eyes find you again.
>”I calculate having two days before I must leave.”
“Yes!” You cheer while doing a small fist pump.

(03/11)

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>>26952665

>After your little celebration you suffer another pause until she comes clean.
>”This creates the problem of finding somewhere to stay.”
“There’s Ponyville Inn.”
>”Boulder forgot to bring his bits.”
“Boulder?”
>She pulls a rather smooth rock from her pocket, holding him out for display.
“Oh, neat. I used to have a pet rock called Bullwinkle.”
>”What type of rock was he?”
“Uhhh, I don’t know. Big?”
>”Sedimentary, metamorphic or igneous?”
“What are those?”
>”Sedimentary rocks are formed from particles of sand, shells, pebbles, and other fragments of material. Together, all these particles are called sediment. Gradually, the sediment accumulates in layers and over a long period of time hardens into rock. Generally, sedimentary rock is fairly soft and may break apart or crumble easily.
>Metamorphic rocks are formed under the surface of the earth from the change that occurs due to intense heat and pressure. The rocks that result from these processes often have ribbon-like layers and may have shiny crystals, formed by minerals growing slowly over time, on their surface.
>Igneous rocks are formed when magma cools and hardens. Sometimes the magma cools inside the earth, and other times it erupts onto the surface from volcanoes. When lava cools very quickly, no crystals form and the rock looks shiny and glasslike. Sometimes gas bubbles are trapped in the rock during the cooling process, leaving tiny holes and spaces in the rock.”
>She rattles of her scientific descriptions in the usual manner, though there is a quicker pace to her speech. You desperately try to follow along in vain, and grasp at whatever little details you can make out.
“Holes! It definitely had holes!”
>”Igneous then. Likely dark in color.”
“Yeah! Except the side I painted red. He made for a great doorstop.”
>”Where is he now?”
“Still back home I imagine.”

(04/11)

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>>26952680

>She turns to Boulder for a second.
>”Boulder says he would like to meet Bullwinkle.”
“Oh. My home is kind of…far away.”
>”I see.”

>Quiet returns to Sugarcube Corner stoop save for the familiar door chime. Maud finally moves out of the way freeing many trapped customers.
>Her eyes wander to the ground, then through the streets, then to Boulder.
>You find another one of those long pauses coming, and try to think how to help your new friend.
“I know. You can stay at my house. That is if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”
>”I thought your home was far away?”
“Actually it’s Cheerilee’s home, though I am living there too. She is away for a few days, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”
>”We do not require a couch, but accept your offer.”
>Maud pockets Boulder and follows your lead home.
>When the two of you enter she gives a heavy sniff of the air.
>”This place smells of single mare. Are you single, Anonymous?”
>Single as in not married?
“Of course. Why?”
>”Your scent is strange, yet there are obvious hints of female secretions that are associated with coupling. I assumed you and Cheerilee were married, possibly with a herd.”
“Me married to Cheerilee? No way!”
>”I am confused. You are a single stallion living with a single mare. It is strange.”
“Why is that so strange? There are lots of single moms.”
>Maud casually blinks a few times as you try to process what exactly is going on.
>You are way too young to be thinking about marriage, and with Cheerile? With a herd? What is a herd anyway? Didn’t Rarity say something about that?
>Ever since that stint with Fluttershy ponies have been acting weird. Did you break some sort of taboo?
>”I do not understand your allusion. Are you saying you do not like Cheerilee though you live with her?”
>Uh-oh. This is getting into [like like] math again. Even after Gilda’s explanation you are still unsure.

(05/11)

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>>26952694

“I like Cheerilee.”
>”Then is it because you are not allowed to marry by law?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never considered it.”
>Maud somehow manages the impossible and becomes even more stoic than before.
>”Oh. You are one of those stallions.”
>That did not sound like a good thing.
>What is going on here?!

“What does that mean?”
>”It’s nothing. Not all stallions can be committed. I don’t mind. It’s none of my business.”
>Committed?
“Just because I don’t want to marry Cheerilee doesn’t mean I don’t care for her. I really like Cheerilee, like-like even. I like-like Gilda too, and Rarity, and Fluttershy. I care deeply for all of my friends.”
>A twitch plays on the corner of her lip for but a second, near unnoticeable. Her demeanor also seems to lighten, though admittedly from dark grey to slightly lesser dark grey.
>She looks to the floor for a moment then back to you.
>”I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. Pinkie talks about you a lot. I was curious.”
“That’s okay. Things here still kind of confuse me, too.”
>”I am also sorry for making you sad.”
“You didn’t make me sad.”
>”Twice in our previous conversation the tone of your reply changed as if trying to ignore something, and when I informed you that I was to leave you became intensely invested in a way that suggests past experience.”
>You stare in surprise at the factual expression ahead of you. Caught as you are, it is now your turn to offer nothing in response to the inquisitive conversationalist.
>You stare at her and she stares at you. Nothing but silent breathes shared in-between.
>Eventually she continues.
>”After everything you have told me I believe I know the cause.”
”And what’s that?”
>”I do not wish to say in fear of hurting you further. I should not have even brought it up, but my social abilities appear to still be in need of work.”

(06/11)

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>>26952712

>You know she knows. You are absolutely sure she has pieced it together.
>You honestly don’t want to hear it, but you can’t help but mutter.
“Tell me. Please.”
>”You left someone behind.”

>The pain flows freely from the hole you buried it in.
>You have long since cried over the fact. Those many homeless nights cuddled in your own warmth and rocking yourself to sleep.
>But you never heard anyone else say it.
>No one ever pressed beyond what you told them, or they avoided the subject after getting too close.
>None ever pieced the clues together.
>And you were a big boy now. You lived on your own and had to put on a strong front.
>Immune to danger, brave and smart, a righter of wrong and true to your friends. A real sentai.
>But that one lone fact gnaws so deeply at your core.
>The very words hard to choke out.
“I never got to say goodbye.”

>Your tiny frame shakes as you try to hold it all in.
>Two awkward hooves fumble around as they try to encircle you.
“Maud, what are you doing?”
>”Performing a hug, which is used to show sympathy with one’s situation and to display affection for those we deem close.”
“I get that, but…you’re not very good at it.”
>”Pinkie usually does the hugging.”
>For some reason, although you have only known her for less than an hour, you cannot help by smile.
>You wrap your arms around her far more competently and squeeze her tight.
>She gives no protest, and the sadness soon drifts away.
>Finally separating, you rub your eyes while Maud sits still in front of you.
“Thanks.”
>A light red glow barely peeks through her grey fur just below her eyes.
>Oh no. This is what happened to Cheerilee.
“What’s wrong?”
>She doesn’t miss a beat.
>”It seems that the close contact mixed with the scents and thoughts of how Pinkie talks about you has caused my body to involuntarily react out of season.”

(07/11)

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>>26952727

“What do you mean? Are you coming down with a fever?”
>”The temperature of my body has indeed increased, but the reaction is not tied to illness. Perhaps my lack of experience in being physical or the mere biological needs of a mare has caused this result. For me to react this way after an innocent exchange is highly inappropriate and my shame has made the spot beneath me wet.”
>Worried for her health, you race to the closet.

>You quickly return with a towel.
“Being wet isn’t a problem. Are you sure you are not too hot? Maybe if you take off your clothes you will cool down?”
>”That may work.”
>Still refusing to move her rump she tugs the smock over her head using her teeth.
>Though completely covered in fur Maud’s bland uniform grey body looks strange in comparison. For her part she seems largely unaffected.
>”It appears the action has had the opposite effect.”
>Crap baskets! You just made things worse.
“Stand up, please. Let me dry you off.”
>Without further protest, she stands and reveals a slightly milky puddle. You do not hesitate to clean it up, finding the liquor rather sticky.
>You pad down her tail and backside to be safe. Her muscles tense at your touch, then relax.
>Her breathing becomes heavier. Her body near stiff as if afraid to move on its own.
>You frantically try to remember anything about pony medicine.
>Which brings you to Rarity. She had similar symptoms, and she also said something about scents and herds.
>If it worked for her then it might just work on Maud.

“Maud? I have an idea. It helped Rarity when she was like this, but I don’t want to do anything you are uncomfortable with.”
>You wait, but when no reply comes you move to meet her face to face.
>Her apathetic eyes are partially wider, her thin lips still marked with apathy. She closes her eyes tight, takes a deep breath, then looks straight at you.
“Do you want me to get a doctor?”
>Another breath.
>”T-try your method.”

(08/11)

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>>26952740

>Quickly becoming a professional in the art, you make note to properly prepare by removing your vest and shirt so that they do not get dirty.
>Maud’s face scrunches and her rear legs cling tighter together.
>When she catches your stare she regains some of her composure.
>”The sight of your unclothed form was not what I expected and the surprised me. Not in a disgusted way. This caused me to have another reaction.”
>Another reaction? You better act quickly!
>You move the stringy tail out of the way and look to the marshmallowy butt you were about to service.
>The slit below your target was already leaking, the vice like grip barely able to stem the tide.
>You ponder whether you should pad the area dry with the towel some more, but time was of the essence.
>Being as gentle as you can, you spread the cheeks wide and ready your tongue.

>Your saliva trickles over the waiting hole as you lather it in preparation. Another one of Maud’s tense muscle spasms reverberates through your hold on her flank.
>She remains quiet, as resolute as a soldier.
>A hint of flavor tingle your taste buds, but you rush in for full glory.
>First pressing lightly passed the barrier you seek to ease her into it. Maud hikes herself higher into the air at the intrusion.
>You release your grip and instead softly pet what parts of her you can reach while your mind fills with mental shushings.
>She slowly lowers herself back down while spreading her legs farther apart. There is a splash against your knee, the dam ready to burst.
>Without stopping your efforts, you place a towel squarely below her thighs.

>Now that she has calmed down you push farther in.
>Her butt still rises, but then she regains control.
>Those heavy breathes become even more labored; a shudder courses along her body ending at the point you begin.
>Then her breathes become lazier yet quicker again. You slow the pace, making sure you can hear any cry of discomfort. Still she is silent.

(09/11)

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>>26952753

>Your cure must already be working.
>No longer having to strictly worry about her, you focus on your own part.
>Swirling around in a circular fashion you coat the edges to make progress easier. The fleshy walls easily give, flinching at each touch.
>Nearing the limit of your reach, you pull out again to give the strained sphincter a short reprieve and another outside coating.
>Yet, unlike your previous escapades there is a very noticeable difference; a key component that appears to be lacking.
>There is no distinct flavor.

>You lick your lips to get a better taste. A subtle sweetness does register under the intense study, a sweetness that is viciously calling you back.
>But no tartness of fruit or richness of custard.
>No, it is entirely plain. Like that of raw sugar.
>Happy in the analysis, your brain screams to go for more and you oblige.
>Another shudder from Maud as you reenter, another series of pants as you greedily force your way back in.
>Your leg accidentally touches the towel and you find it almost completely.
>Your hands start making swirls over her cutiemark as you flick your tongue to coax out all you can.
>The softest whimper hits your ears, and you respond pushing harder.
>Another shudder, another huff.
>Her rear legs wobble and you brush against the front of her knees to help steady them then return to the cutie mark.
>Another attack against her walls, another taste of evolutionary reward.
>You hum in delight at the sweet sweet flavor.
>Another whimper.
>A torrent of the nectar surges from inside her which you readily receive.
>Maud gives a near room volume ‘Whoooo!’ and collapses to the ground. Her ass stays poised and proud due simply to the wide arch of her back legs providing ample support.
>Your own senses heighten to extremes as the sugar rush hits you.
>You quickly remove yourself from the tapered tunnel and slump to the floor, both of you gasping for air.

(10/11)

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>>26952765

>With your sudden absence, the other half of Maud drops on the desperately needing to be washed towel.
>She lays sprawled across the floor huffing and puffing, her body fueled by the most emotion you have seen from her yet.
>The one eye of hers you can see latches onto you like a hunting hawk, neither moving nor blinking. It is solely trained on you in a manner that is both touching and fearful.
>You just do what you always do.
“Feeling better?”
>Her steely gaze softens to that of exhaustion. She then rolls her head to the side to rest breaking all sight.
>”Mmmhmm.” She barely manages to mumble.
>Far more capable of walking than your partner, you steadily rise and move to check her forehead.
>She still feels warm, but the tender eyes again searching for yours say all you need to hear.
>Satisfied, you give her a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m glad.”

>By tomorrow morning Maud was her old self.
>Well, as much of her old self as you can figure given that you don’t have an actual baseline.
>Dressed in her signature smock and with Boulder safely tucked away, she makes for the door.
>”If Pinkie is not back today I will be sure to stop by. Perhaps even if she does come back.”
“What are you going to do until then?”
>”I am going to check the laws on herds and interspecies marriage at Town Hall.”
>What a strange way to spend a day.
“Well, have fun.”
>She gives the smallest of smiles and heads out the door.

(11/11)

Done.

Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/n99ESMaA (line 489)


This was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever had to write. Trying to keep Maud bland but not boring, trying to keep Anon innocent while leading into lewd, having to write butt stuff, trying to still have time to spoof M8’s drawings. Obviously I didn’t get to the last one, and taking a look at my first drawing that would have obviously ended in hilarious failure, but holy hell. Fuck you M8, I can see why you’re dead.

<3. Come back.

Jesus christ this board

>>26953021
Shove it, John.

>>26952782
Wow, Ricardo! Just wow! Mind if I share this story with the kids tonight?
Haha, I'll see you in work tomorrow pal.

>>26906027
bump

>>26952782
FUCK YEAH POONLICKER!

Holy fuck, fix the website Chinese moot.

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More Chrysmom stories!

When was the last time the completed stories list was updated?

Also, pls recommend a completed story
Preferably Rainbow

>>26954833
I don't think anyone deals with updating that thing anymore

>>26954833
I recommend anything in this bin, I've never seen this guy post anything in a thread ever, but this is by far the best writefag I've had the pleasure to witness in all my three years I've been lurking and occasionally writing on this board

>http://pastebin.com/u/PeteQ

>>26955177
Where the hell has Pete even been?

Crosspostan
>>26955628
>Be Anon
>A magic space hole is inside your shower
>You know this because it just pulled you in
>So now you're in a big glowy tube like that special effect from stargate
>Except this is more purply than that one.
>And has moonrunes all over the sides
>YOU KNEW THE NIPS WERE /A/yyliens!
>Oh hey there's the end of the tunnel
>You are flung out of the space-hole onto a purple child horse thing
>"AAH!"
"AAAAH!"
>You both flail around screaming until a larger but still smaller than normal horse thing comes in
>"What's all the screaming about?"
>"Mom help! My alien fell over and can't get up"
>The larger of the small horses comes over and drags you by your batman pyjamas off the child small horse
>You resume screaming, and flee from the horse alien koreans
>You find a door to the outside and go through it
>There are lots more chinese space equines outside
>You run back inside and barricade yourself in one of the rooms
>Once you finish barricading the door you sit down to figure out your next move
>What would Batman do?
>He'd have prepared for this long ahead of time and have a bat-gadget to solve everything
>Fuck, that's not helpful to you at all.
>Your thoughts are interrupted by a huge white horse appearing in a flash of light, which is also somewhat reminiscent of a stargate special effect
>Though this time it's the flashy white teleportation one instead of the tubey glowy bluey stargetey one
>These are definitely aliens.
>"Do not be alarmed, nopony here means you harm. I am Princess Celestia, teacher of the one who brought you here"
"Hello."
>You and this white princess horse have lots of expository dialogue
>It's not included here because it's hard to write dialogue

>>26955826
>What?
>Okay, I'll slap something together anyway.
>"I apologise for you sudden arrival here, but my student has a knack for getting into trouble, which she is now in a lot of."
"Where is here anyway?"
>"You are in the city of Canterlot in the nation of Equestria on the planet Earth."
"You call your planet Earth too?"
>"We do indeed call this planet Earth, but we Ponies were not the ones to give it that name. Our world was given this name by an ancient race who lived here before us."
>"That race was known as Humanity, and have been extinct for hundreds of millions of years"
"Well shit."
>"Also we can't send you back to the past, because magic is a little bitch like that"
"Fuck."
>This is a lot to take in
>"I know it's a lot to take in, but I promise that we will do our best to help you."
>You're going to need some time to think about this.
>"I can only imagine how much you have to think about with this revelation, feel free to take your time."
"Yeah, I do. This is a lot to process."
>"When you are ready to talk more, just ask one of the armoured guardsponies to bring you to me."
>You sit there and think.
>Everyone you've ever known and loved is long dead.
>Your friends, family, gone.
>Your parents.
>As you sit there having lost everything, you hang your head and look down
>Your parents are dead.
>You'd like to be able to say that something inside you changed in that moment, your determination and willpower crystalizing to turn you into something both more and less than a man.
>But that's not true.
>You're still the same slightly unstable Anon you've always been, except now your parents are dead.
"MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!"
>You are Batman.
>YOU ARE THE NIGHT.