I want to babysit Silver Spoon.
Her family is rich. She more than likely has a nanny.
>>26857533
Don't you mean a dogsitter? After all, she's such a bitch.
>>26857591
caught me off grad
made me kek
>>26857573
Nanny.
Anon.
A nanny.
Anonny.
A nannynon.
Anannymous.
pure pottery
>>26857533
I'd love to give her a b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bath.
>>26857533
I...
Actually, she seems like a pretty easy filly to sit.
She is a follower at heart, you give her a directive and she will not question it, to a point.
We saw this in Crusaders of the Raging Neckbeards.
>>26857733
So if you sat her down with some string and a box of Celesti-Os and told her to make a couple of necklaces, she'd just...do it?
>>26857743
Shit, probably.
Hell she would loose he shit if you let her take charge of an activity.
>>26857533
I want to drag Silver Spoon into Marehood kicking and screaming.
>>26857752
Well fuck man, that takes care of snacktime and arts and crafts in one go. I heard children like having a directive and being able to create things, so I guess it satisfies that too? I thought this would be hard, but it sounds pretty simple.
>Anon has to sit Silverspoon.
>Diamond Tiara is off to Manehattan with her father, turns out she has no other friends, etc.
>The grey filly seems to shrink as the train leaves.
>"Hmph, I hope you have a...schedule for this ordeal?"
>She tries to imitate her friend as much as she can but it is going over about as well as a Nigerian scammer.
>>26857533
I want to sneak into her bedroom after she falls asleep andblow raspberries onher tender little ponybelly
Silver Spoon is too cute to be mean too...
Silver Spoon was one of my favorite characters in Crusaders of the Lost Mark.
>>26857800
>blow on her belly
>wake her up
>is cranky the next day because sleep deprived
>parents come home and get pissed
>babysitting resume ruined forever
>will never get to blow raspberries on another filly again
You need to think this shit through.
>>26857968
You're forgetting when the rape-till-sleep part.
>>26857999
fucking witnessed and confirmed for rape is best sleeping pill
For sexuals.
>>26857533
They have a full-time nanny. Also, she isn't real.
I bet youd like tospoonsilver
She is a nice filly
>>26860039
>No glasses
eeeeeew
>>26857533
I want us to switch glasses with each other and laugh about how poor our eyesight is.
>>26857533
>>26857533
Where the necklace tho?
>>26857533
>implying she won't be sittingonyou
>>26857533
Just how flirty would she be?
>>26857533
I want to touch her vagina.
>>26861281
>not giving her the attention she craves
>THEN touching her vagina
>>26861258
If you were a hunk she might try to kiss you once during a tea party or dress-up.
If you're a gross neckbeard she'd overtly state how undesirable you are.
>>26861576
What about Just Some Guy #22245?
>>26857800
I want to blowa huge load of cumin herunderage vagina and ass
>>26861638
She'd be indifferent towards you.
>>26857725
You must not disappoint me Anon.
Alas you're going to try to kill me like the previous Anon.
I'll need to kill you first, and you know it.
>>26857533
I want to babysit Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara at the same time.
>>26860864
Contact lenses. Without them I'm blind and it goes worse with time. And it's inoperable.
>>26862075
Actually that's my job, to "babysit" Anon. introducing him to the way how Equestria works and everything. Right Anon?
>Anon's mumbling nervously
Don't worry I won't tell others. That's gonna change from being Diamond Tiara's therapist.
>>26862069
Yeah, whatever, Spoon. Your parents asked me to watch you while they're out, and I'm getting paid no matter what you do. I'm gonna read a book. There's crackers and drawing materials on the table. Don't bother me.
>>26862276
>"Good, because I didn't want to hang out with you anyway. You're as uncool as they come."
>Silver Spoon acts like she's above Anon's company
>But over the course of the next couple of hours, she begins craving his attention
>He's the first sitter that hasn't tended to her every whim due to her parents' status
>"Hey genius, you forgot to put water out with the crackers."
"You know where the water is."
>"Well maybe I wanted juice instead."
"Sounds good. Get me a glass, too."
>"You're the sitter, you do it!"
"It's your house. You know where things are better than me."
>"What if I make a mess?"
"Grab a mop."
>"But the mess happened because you wouldn't do it for me."
"The mess happened because you can't do things for yourself."
>"Yes I can! I can do anything I want!"
"And yet here you are, thirsty and salty as the crackers you ate."
>"Jerk!"
"Gesundheit."
>>26862276
Yes you never met my parents. Are you really into ...
>book title: "Studying the scalar vectors of magic force" by Trum Lorkenavaekren and OH! "Understanding the kingdoms" by Aral Solain, very interesting, I never expected you were into equine litterature, especially this kind of advanced magic.
>Anon:"Well I'm smart you know."
"Undoubtedly since Twilight would not let anypony touch her books of high energy magic."
>Anon:"Are you accusing me of stealing things from Twilight's library?"
"No I think it's good that you're trying, even if humans are not magic that's a proof of trust from her, which is rare."
>Anon's hiding behind the book, sweating, looking at me, and trying to ignore me.
>it's obvious he's trying to read and understand jack shit. I've already read that book and many others, and I realized how it pissed Twilight that I've opened one once.
>No way she'd let a human have it
"The works of Lorkenavaekren are however incompatible with Volskriegen, who demonstrated the validity of the symmetry of electromagnetic and nuclear forces, it's been a schism between these two unicorns for centuries, even today where Lorkenavaenian magic redefined everything, Volsriegen, follower of Starswirl the Bearded also has a more realistic approach. Which one do you trust more?"
>He's staring at me
>looks at the book
>drops the book and holds his head.
>Anon:"W..What? What is a schism? Are you talking about ponies using nuclear force?? aaAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
>Later Anon tries another conversation about his favorite human food : the crackers.(Something essentially made out of bad cereals)
>I'm finishing a drawing
>Anon still looks very frustrated
>"Did they really force you into studying this?"
"They? Who? The unicorns?"
>"Where's the other one?"
"The other what?"
>"Like you, the pink one, the slut"
"Cherryberry? Pinkie Pie?"
>"No"
"Diamond Tiara?"
>"Yes"
"I know I should not tell anypony but she is stuck in Industria since a month now. She's got in trouble."
>>26862921
>Anon's laughing out loud
>"HAHA That's means you're alone here! When do your parents comes back?"
"Anon. I don't know, They gave me enough money for me to live comfortably on my own for a couple of months"
>"COUPLE OF MONTHS WHAT A BUNCH OF IRRESPONSIBLE LITTLE SHITS LEAVING A CHILD ALONE AT HOME FOR TWO MONTH"
"I have determined resources since I'm not working. Hopefully these covers unplanned events and also allows me to feed some guests."
>"What about strangers? What if there's a stranger or a burglar?"
"I have this."
>go upstairs
>bring down a bag
>unzip it
>bring out THE_WEAPON out of it
"Mom and dad are libertarian ponies. More libertarian than the common Equestrian horse. They live their own life, they have no gods, no masters. Right now I suppose they are living like hippies somewhere in a zebra tribe or somewhere in yakyakistan. In the meantime I'm here and legally required to defend their property. I go on a shooting range about once a week now for practice."
>"GUNS ARE ILLEGAL IN EQUESTRIA"
>It is mandatory for all unicorns to know how to fight and use lethal magic since school. Also all ponies are required to keep at least a sword and a spear at home for the safety of all - Being armed is de facto a legal requirement as I'm required to protect you or whoever is not armed."
>"GUNS KILLS PEOPLE! YOU'RE VIOLENT!"
"Anon... what?"
>"I mean that's unfair, your parents will probably come back too late, and you won't let me pay myself because... You would use this thing right?"
"If you intend to steal anything in this house then yes."
>zips it back into its carrying bag
>put it on my back in order to carry it
"Speaking of, it's time for me to go to the shooting range, Cherry Berry's our group instructor explaining about zeroing and other gun safety things"
>Anon looks disturbed and confused
>The zabernism of cultural differences between his world and ours is torturing his mind
>"...Okay!"
>>26863267
Jesus, she is a smart filly. Must be because the rich family can hire good tutors.
>>26863267
This getting weirdly political
>>26863267
Is that a FAMAS?
>>26863267
>We're walking into the woods towards the shooting range
>Cherry Berry's showing me some tricks about holding the stock correctly
CB>"It's all about how the recoil you have to deal with, even if the KPM-88 is a gun for fillies you MUST be able to shoot in full auto against an enemy. In position. also remember how to breathe."
>Anon's looking at us, laughing
>I'm waiting for my target
>there's some breeze
CB>"If anon's destabilizing you, keep in mind in a crisis situation you will not have time for concentration."
>ok
>a puppet's out of fucking nowhere
[BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT]
[cleared cartridges falls on the floor, the KPM's barrel's smoking]
"Urgh."
>another puppet, didn't expect it
[BRRRT]
>CherryBerry's releasing them now without warning
"Out of ammo."
>she's releasing a last one, some kind of three headed dragon
>CB:"Of course, you were holding your rifle with a hoof on the trigger. Making just noise will get you and your friend killed by this hydra. do it again."
>she's giving me a full mag
>CB:"What's that noise?"
"I don't know. Where's Anon? Anon?"
>CB's looking into a bush
>Anon's hiding in there, crying, shaking, with the hands around his ears, and eyes closed.
"Anon is everything alright? These are cardboard monsters anon!"
>Anon:"...it ..it... it's a real... a real gun please don't kill me.. don't kill me... not the gun... "
>CB:"Anon... Wha-.. Did you pee on yourself?"
>CB's enjoying my distraction for releasing the dummies
>I'm rearming my KPM
>hold the barrel handle with my left hoof like a bow and arrow
>every movement is not to be calculated but adjusted
>aim at the monster between the eyes.
>hit.
>my ears are whistling but I can hear a second one
>hit
>another one on the complete opposite.
>anon's screaming out loud but I'm focusing on the target
>hit
>stand
>wait
>CB:"And this time you're giving me a perfect. Congratulations! I thought your glasses were maladapted to your sight. That'll be enough for today."
>>26863487
Everything is political. Everything is sexual. Everything is economic. Everything is relative.
>>26863524
It's a bull-up, the KPM 80 series are kind of, the rifle made for fillies and mares. No need to know how to man a sword, or practice magic, it's just a 5.25mm assault rifle, but with indeed a lot of similarities with the FAMAS G2, with a stopping power sufficient to survive a monster attack.
>>26863646
>Looks like Anon has been traumatized by the usage of firearms, I thought for a second Anon might have been, in the past, on a battlefield and this machine sounds just like his enemies's rifles.
>Or perhaps his parents were murdered, but CherryBerry explained it might be nothing like it. anon is just scared. Like that.
>He's crying. AGAIN. like that last night on my bed, thinking that would make him a rapist to be in contact with a filly while being naked.
>Maybe I've gone too harsh on him
"Anon, .. I'm sorry, I though humans had this kind of thing too"
>"Okay. ... Okay... Did you hide it?"
"It's hidden don't worry."
>"Okay."
"So, er, ...yeah there's a lot of things I should show you in my world."
>>26863646
Is this the continuity of last week's greentext with Autistic Anon, Silv?
>>26857591
CARLOS
>>26857533
Bump
>>26861281
pedo
>>26863964
Yes, Anon.
I'll try to finish him. Later.
>>26867655
Anon we are not even the same species.
...
We'll have a discussion later when we're back home.
