>"Writefag bait."
>>26700920
>Sex.
>FIN
>>26700920
>greentext
>>26700920
"GO BACK TO BED I'M FUCKING YOUR SISTER"
>>26700920
>You are Anon
>Let's make you 6'2''
>Tall, but not TOO tall
>We don't want you feeling like a freak
>Obviously you need to be in shape, but not like Lou Ferrigno, or something
>That would be too obvious of a Mary Sue
>Your story starts out with a pony who has a problem, and only YOU can solve it
>That's why you're the main character
>Forget all those other stories; this one's different
>How?
>Well duh, I've got a new fetish up my sleeve
>Now back to the story
>You're loved by everyone
>Except that one character
>That character is a faggot
>Like, an unbelievable faggot
>As in, it is literally impossible for someone to be this much of a douche in real life
>You definitely need someone to not like you
>It's killing two birds with one stone
>First, you need someone to actively work against you, to create some tension
>But don't worry, it's not like you actually have to struggle or anything
>You'll take care of this no problem
>Second, it's to cover up the fact that I can't manage to give an ounce of personality to your character
>Now, all you need is a love interest
>Who else except the pony that needs your help?
>She's going to fall for you once she sees how great you are
>But she already sees that
>How else was I supposed to write her?
>Bam
>Action
>Half-assed dialogue based on anime archetypes
>OOC ponies
>You're totally going to be the hero
>OH SHIT
>YOU AND YOUR LOVE INTEREST ARE ALONE FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME AND IT'S NEAR THE END OF THE STORY
>Better remind you of all that spaghetti you're about to drop
>Just kidding, everything goes great
>She realizes that she loves you more than anyone and anything else
>You, Anonymous, the hero who defeated that unbelievable faggot and helped your pony waifu with her problems that only you could solve
>Because of all that amazing sex that you're totally good at
>And by the way, she's totally into that obscure fetish this is based around
>And also, your dick is HUGE
>Happy ending
>>26701237
10/10, would fap to.
>>26701237
fuckin' kek
>>26700920
>The train rocked and clacked, carrying you closer to Canterlot with each noise it made.
>It was a comfortable enough carriage, despite being designed for ponies.
>If you curled up, a bit, you could just about fit your comparatively lanky frame on the sleeping car mattress.
>So you had brushed your teeth, washed your face, and changed into your pajamas.
>You had been told it would be a while before the train reached Canterlot, so you had decided to sleep, as it was dark out anyhow.
>You crawled under the covers and were just about to get down to the real business of getting some sleep, when you heard a noise at the cabin door.
"Hello? Who's there?"
>The door slides open just a bit.
>"It's just me, Anon."
>The somewhat worried and uncertain face of Rarity's younger sister, Sweetie Belle, peering at you in the darkness.
"Hey, Sweetie Belle, what do you want?"
>She searches for some expression on your face in the darkness before speaking.
>"I'm real sorry I used that weird summoning spell, and brought you here."
"Oh? Was I that much of a disappointment?"
>"Oh no," she says hastily, coming inside your cabin.
>"It's just that, you must miss your home."
"Well, I suppose I do, if I'm honest."
>Her face falls.
"Hey, don't look sad. I do miss my one, but I never would have met you if you hadn't messed up that spell, now would I?"
>"N-no, I guess not."
"And If I'm honest, I must admit, I'm having a grand adventure here."
>"Yeah, but now you have to go and see Princess Celestia! What if she decides you're a threat and banishes you, or sends you back home?"
>In the half light, you can see Sweetie Belle tearing up.
>"I'd never get to see you again..."
"Hey, Sweetie, c'mere..."
>She sniffles, and approaches close enough for you to reach out and give her an affectionate pat on the head, which you do.
"Never waste your time thinking about what could've, should've, or might've been, okay? That which happened, happened, and I'll take it as it comes."
>>26700920
>complaint about writefag bait
>be anon
>see pone
>save pone from stupid shit
>high maintenance pone falls for you
>bang pone
>win life
>congrats
>you banged a migit horse
>>26701502
>Sweetie Belle looks up into your eyes, her expression saddening.
"I'm not worrying, and neither should you. If your Princess is as nice as Rarity says she is, I'm sure she'll understand."
>Sweetie musters a tiny smile, looking at you now.
>"Thanks, Anon."
>You put on your serious face.
"Speaking of, does your sister know you're consorting with dangerous, otherworldly weirdos?"
>Sweetie Belle laughs at your near spot-on mimicry of her older sister.
>"Sorta. We argued. I don't think she's happy about it either."
"Well then, I suppose that you had better go and make up with her, hadn't you?"
>Sweetie Belle appears nervous, scuffing the floor with one fore hoof.
"Isn't she your only sister?"
>She nods.
"That's a fine thing. You oughtn't let a big, goofy-looking alien come between you and your only sister."
>She hesitates, looking away.
>"I guess not."
"Atta girl. I'll be fine. You go on back and talk to your sister, okay?"
>The tiny filly closes the gap between you and wraps her fore hooves around your neck, sobbing.
>It's awkward for you, but after a moment, you give her a reassuring pat.
"I'll be just fine. Vamoose, will you? Your sister must be worried about you, and I'm sure she'll be mighty upset if the finds you here."
>After another moment, the alabaster filly relaxes her grip on you and steps back.
>She puts on a brave face.
>"Okay, Anon. Don't go getting yourself banished, okay?"
>You hesitate, reluctant to commit to a course of action in a situation you can only guess at.
>You adopt a cocky smile.
"Not if I can help it!"
>Sweetie grins and gives you a peck on the cheek, before retreating from your cabin.
>After a moment's consideration, you engage the lock on the sliding door, then lie back, watching the night sky of Equestrian out the window.
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
>In truth you knew no such thing.
>A royal summons like this was certainly not a thing to be treated lightly, in any world.
>But you would see what happens tomorrow.
>>26701237
You forgot the casual alcoholism. 0/10 would not even recognize as AiE.
>>26701237
well meme'd
>>26700920
sorry for cursing on people who may be someone i don't like. sorry for not liking people. sorry loving helen too much
>>26701237
Dear God, someone vocaroo this. It would be perfect.
>>26701237
Holy shit screencap this.
>>26701237
Will writefags ever recover?
>>26701724
You asked for it, you got it!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1NkwT6VPLSY
>>26701856
There are still some good ones out there.
>>26702008
I can tell I was drinking when I recorded this. I clipped several times, and didn't bother to retake. Oh well.
>>26702008
This is great
>>26702008
Fuck man give me your card in case I want to hire your voice for shit. That's straight out of one of those parody infomercials I am dying here!
>>26702008
topkek
>>26702008
Goddamn that was way better than I expected. Thanks, Anon!
>>26702008
>>26702008
I did not know what to expect but after listening I am far from disappointment.
>>26702046
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1NkwT6VPLSY
>>26702048
>>26702066
>>26702069
>>26702165
>>26702194
Well, thank you kindly. As it happens, I am a voice actor, so it's nice to know I can do silly cold reads like that and people like them.
>>26701237
>I am Anonnnnnnnymous, destroyer of worlds
>Jk lol I'm just Anon
>I am totally a normal human in Equestria, nothin' special here
>Also I'm 6'2" and my dick is even longer
>And I'm ripped as shit 'cause I used to go on /fit/
>Livin' a good life, nothing out of the ordinary
>Suddenly you want some cake
>Why not go to the good ol' Sugarcube?
>Except Pinkie's a cunt
>But cunts didn't stop you before, so why would they do that now?
>Going to the Sugarcube, everypony greets you with a warm smile
>Exceptionally warm was Ditzy's smile
>That little mailpony been eyeing you without noticing it herself even
>You blast through the doors
>And hear a voice behind you
>"H-Hello, Anon-kun..."
>>26702008
Oh god I love your voice
Where do I get one
>>26701817
Everythreadonmlp.png
>>26702071
>Search for "Proscenium Audio" on Facebook.
Why delete?
>>26702281
Abundance of caution, having been burned by an obnoxious chan-tard three years ago.
>>26702008
>>26701817
Thanks for the cap
>>26700940
9/10 not RGRE enough
>>26701237
Mmm, this is unironically good green.
Even when trying to be a contrariant hipster douche, you can't help but write in the spirit of /mlp/. This is what we like, what we do and what we're good at.
I'll be sure to remember you the next time I'm praising a story exactly like this one, knowing exactly how to describe what truly great writing looks like.
>>26702248
>Mimicry
And so begins another age of attention whores plumbing the next best thing dry of any originality.
>>26701237
You complete this level of live being.
>>26702008
I want you to tuck me into bed and read me a bedtime story.
>>26704370
Shut up, Scootaloo
Bump for vocaroo bait...
Save rave a great thread
>>26706183
It's ogre, anon
>>26701237
AHahhahaha this is so fucking true
This nigga i swear he's so fucking right 99% of greentexts on /mlp/ is like that.I write and this is my life literally
>>26701237
>>26702008
These right here are god-tier fuckery...
