You have been offered the chance at a week long trip to your dream destination with the pony of your dreams. She wants you more than anything, and hot pony on human sex will definitely happen.
The negative is, the entire thing will be televised outside of the bedroom. National Geographic is doing a documentary on people with weird sexual attractions, and you were chosen for the pony episode.
Would you still do it? Do you let the world in on your substantial power level for the chance at a weekend with your favorite cartoon mare?
>>25541198
Dude I love documentaries.
Can we watch Life?
>Do I want the world to know I want to fuck ponies?Shit.
>>25541198
> Do you let the world in on your substantial power level for the chance at a weekend with your favorite cartoon mare?
oh fuck...
>>25541198
You mean to tell me, my depraved man on pony sexual comings and goings are going to be broadcast to the world and narrated by an Attenborough?
>>25541198
If I get to keep her, then yes. It's not like I can't just not tell my family about the documentary anyway. I live in the asscrack of Nowheresville. People still hate faggots and and natives around here. I doubt any of them are going to hear about a horsefucker documentary and start spreading the word.
If I don't get to keep her, then no. Not really worth the risk to my power level or my wizardry.
>>25541198
What if she is a nazi?
>>25541198
As long as they don't actually televise us fucking, then yes. If they do televise us fucking, I'll be sure to flip off the camera the whole time.
>>25541304
then all of your tumblr friends will unfollow you.
>>25541319
This.Hail the brotherhood of shim sham
>>25541319
I imagine everything will be televised. Like a 24 hour panda cam. Your sex vacation will be one long marathon shown live on National Geographic, with multiple streams online for different angles and locations.
>>25541319
Bedroom looks to be private. If you fuck in the pool you are screwed though.
>>25541198
I would definitely do it. I love my waifu, and I don't care if the world watches us make love. I wouldn't even care if they threw us in a glass enclosure at the zoo and invited the public to observe. The fact that we'd be somewhere beautiful is a plus, but nothing compared to the beauty of holding the one I love in my arms.
We would do everything together.Hoof-in-hand eye contact, deep passionate kissing, holding one another close, leading eventually to wild monkey sex of every kind imaginable. There would be no orifice left unplumbed, no inch of her left untouched, unpleasured, unworshiped. Whispering our tender words, sharing all our secrets, I would do everything for her. I would give her pleasure unlike any she has ever known, and together we would unite in ways that until now I've only dreamed of. It would be the most wonderful week of our lives. And for the lives of our viewers, as well. Maybe, just maybe, we could teach the world something about love.
>>25541198
>get to fuck muh waifu
>go on a vacation in Spain and the beach
>make Seth jealous
I don't give a flying fuck how many people watch, I'd take that opportunity.
>>25541457
...god damnit you took her from me
and you're taking her to one of the worst EU countries for a vacation, what the fuck.
I'm taking her to Italy for the week, Rome is fucking fantastic.
>>25541457
sauce please, reverse image search yields nothing.
>>25541451
>I would'nt even care if they threw us in a glass enclosure at the zoo and invited the public to observe
I want this. I want to rut her outside in a primitive surrounding. I want little kids to watch with their families.
>>25541518
Here you go bby.
https://derpibooru.org/596116?scope=scpe0880c85a1b34c4051259bd8c44b5a823ad7fbb2d
>>25541509
It's one of those "you have to go there!" Kind of thing that I always hear. So I thought why not?
>>25541624
thanks m8
I would do it, but only ifMorgan Freeman narrates it.
>>25541198
Nah.
Got stuff to do that would screw up.
If it was forever, though? Probably.
>>25541509
What do you do in rome? I've been there a few times for business. It's just old tourist traps and bad pizza from what I see.
Yes
Power level will be revealed but doesn't matter had sex
Yeah I'll do it. The whole world can watch uscuddle
delicoous
>>25541198
Wha- really? Sign me up!
I don't even have a waifu but think about it.
Publicly make first contact with an alien species. Then publicly make first "contact" with an alien species. That historic moment in Earth history should be preserved forever.
Hell, even if it was an alien I was only mildly interested in I might take the chance.
>>25541304
Then the History Channel will want some footage too
>>25541624
It genuinely looks like she has balls.
>>25541198
Absolutely. Fuck what people think. I'm already a worthless NEET. I'd gladly play along with their show.
>>25541198
Yeah, no question. I don't have a reputation to uphold, I'm already weird and my friends/family know that. They'd definitely think it was excessively weird, but I'm not close to anyone religious or anything, so I'm sure they'll be okay with it since she talks and I'm not just fucking some random horse. I just feel bad for National Geographic wasting their money and the people watching the documentary. I'm boring as fuck. The only way it's going to be interesting is if they let me do drugs the whole time they're filming. So maybe we should go somewhere with minimal drug laws?
>>25543521
Horse sex reassignment surgery doesn't work as well as human, because horse dongs hang in a much lower position than their cunts. Whereas human genitals are pretty much in the same place regardless of gender.
>>25541198
So you're giving me the chance to go on a real life vacation, with my waifu and I get to make a million anons jealous at the same time?Fuck yeah.
>>25541624Saggy vagina
No tnx
>>25541198
Only if Morgan Freeman narrates it.
As for my waifu.
>pic related
>>25541198
This is actually a funny concept. Just imagine your friends/family/acquaintances finding out that you were in a documentary, let alone one about fucking an alien horse.
I kind of imagine it'd be live 24/7 like The Truman Show. Everyone gathering around the screen to see what happens in your life. Then when you end up having sex, the crowd would divide into "ewws" and cheers.
>>25543519
Well in that case...fuck her!Literally
>>25541198
>Agree but make them sign rights so that I get editing privileges and large shares in the project
>If they agree, proceeded as planned and make an honest fucking documentary that portrays us both in a neutral and unobjective light
>Otherwise literally spend the entire week in the bedroom, only come out for brief interviews where we both more or less read from a script that is impossible to take out of context without obviously doctoring it
Contractual obligations are wonderful when you know how to abuse them!
>Captcha is "Black & White"
>>25543772
>make them sign rights so that I get editing privileges and large shares in the project
Sorry anon. We've found someone who actually wants your waifu. We're going to go ahead and give the roll and pony sex to him.
>>25543723
And afterwards, you could write one of those biography-type books, with a title like "Breaking Barriers - into the mind of Anon".
Get invited to talk shows and events and whatnot. Watch Oprah give out free copies of your book to the audience.
>>25543783
Damn, that'd be funny as hell. I could write about being the first human to bang an alien species and people would actually read it.
You know, when you come back from that you could just claim it was just a job.
You were hired to hang out with, and eventually have sex with an object that they edited into a cartoon character in post-production.
What, you actually believe TV-documentaries?
>>25543781
>Implying we haven't already entered into a binding legal contract about the role in question
>>25543812
Then the terms are already set and if you refuse to actively participate in your role and just stay in your room / read a script for the cameras, they'll void your contract.
>>25543803
I would refer to myself as Captain Kirk at one point while describing the alien sex.
>>25543810
Fuck that. Take pride in what you accomplished for all of humanity, anon.
Take qt pone to Swiss chateau and do whatever we want for a week?
sign me up
>>25543832
>Implying you recorded that conversation
>Implying I didn't
>Implying anyone who works for a TV production crew can even tell the difference between a script and real life to begin with
Honestly, the only thing I care about is making sure that I have a place on the cutting room floor to make sure they aren't biased as fuck in either direction. I would just want an open and honest representation of what happened so that people could figure out the why on their own terms. All I need is a veto.
I'm an incredibly experienced and shrewd negotiator. The trick is to make sure that you make some extra head room so that you can still stand when the ceiling inevitably starts coming down.
Fuck profiteering, fuck drama, fuck everything. I just want intellectual honesty and to have a nice time with my waifu, nothing more, and nothing less.
>>25543873
You're just the subject of the documentary, you don't get shit. Do you honestly think a big ass company like National Geographic doesn't have a large team of jews to negotiate and/or sue your ass? The documentary is going to go exactly the way we want it to or you're not going to be a part of it at all.You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>>25543783
The book should be called "First Contact"
>>25543950
May as well just call it Fist Contact at that point.
>>25541319
>>25541349
>>25541451
>The negative is, the entire thing will be televised outside of the bedroom.
Guys pls
>>25543975
Who's to say that they won't put you in a room with no blinds and film through the glass?
Jews fucking love contract loopholes like that.
>>25541198
>feeling shame
Who wouldn't take a chance like this?
>>25541198
>Implying I give a shit what the world thinks about me.
Kek
>>25541198
Yes.
And first thing upon arrival, I'm going to draw lots of images of Muhammad and hang them everywhere so they can't actually air it without getting blown up.
Also convince my waifu to take me with her once the trip is over.
>>25541897
Morgan Freeman is there, narrating while Gilbert Gottfried commentates
>>25543521
>>25543593
>>25545298
Worth it just for this.
Having your waifu would be great, but both of those guys narrating isn't something you'd just turn down either.
>>25545341
>"And here we see the male human deciding to initiate mating right here, on the couch for us all to see. I sit here, not more than 5 feet away to narrate this moment for all the world and future generations."
>"HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT! BOOM, THEY'RE SCREWING RIGHT ON THE LOVESEAT! I CAN SMELL IT FROM HERE!"
>>25545372
The mental image is top kek, and yeah I'd do it. For her, anything.
... do I get to escape to Equestria afterwards?
>>25541198
that's a pretty difficult decision Tbh
honestly I'd probably end up declining because I'm a pussy
>>25546110
Wait, I just realized it's only for a week.
then I'd definitely decline, 100%
>>25541457
I legit thought that was jenga tower covering her up in the thumbnail.
Also that pic is complete shit, thanks for ruining Trixie for me.
>>25541198
>the entire thing will be televised outside of the bedroom
We gonna be gettin it on everywhere mother fucker, public sex is one of my top fetishes. There are no negatives to this proposal
>>25546162
More for me then
