Noooo Noooo Noooo
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![1447878412615[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/IK5AK6m.jpg "1447878412615[1].png")
Noooo Noooo Noooo
I was just going to make a toasters are /m/ thread to post this, but thanks now I don't need to.
Have you achieved high ground today anon?
>>13519755
Are waffle makers /m/ anon?
>>13519755
>>13519783
/ck/, pls.
Could /kamille have bee a Sheev if he hadn't gone apeshit?
>>13519766
I live on the uppermost story in my neighborhood.
Sheevposting is taking overAnd I like it
>>13519806
>Sheevposting is taking over
The oppression of the Jovians will never return!
>>13519806
Who's Sheev?
>>13519859
Casuals need to leave.
>>13519859
Sheev Palpatine
Darth Sidious
You know the emperor
>>13519869
When was his name Sheev?
It's treason then
Darth Lord of the Puffy Sleeves
>>13519870
when some bookfag decided he needed to have a first name, and decided to give him one that could pass for Yiddish slang for "curmudgeonly pedophile."
>>13519896
>one that could pass for Yiddish slang for "curmudgeonly pedophile."
The hell? Uh, is there something you'd like to share, anon?
>>13519743
He want to deepthroat Windu's Lightsaber.
So wait, ROTS is the new Big Guy 4U?
>>13520117
AW SONUVABITCH
Why are the sith the bad guys again?
>>13520127
They wanted to do away with a failing theocratic democracy that votes in people like Jar Jar into high office and replace it with a dictatorship under Palpatine that minimizes the previous theocratic elements such as the Jedi.
>>13520117
IT WAS ME WINDU
>>13520127
Because they literally are fueled by evil and want to rule the Galaxy and oppress or kill all their lessers.
The Jedi weren't exactly the best but they weren't flying around space with a giant planet busting WMD.
>>13520127
They're not. Obi-Wan constantly lied about pretty much everything in the original trilogy.
>"Your father's lightsaber. He wanted you to have it when you were old enough but your uncle wouldn't hear of it. He was afraid you'd follow old Obi Wan on some damned fool quest."
translation:
"Your father's lightsaber. I picked it up off the ground after making your father a quadrapalegic and leaving him to burn alive in lava. When I delivered you to your "uncle" I instructed him to never tell you the truth about anything, ever."
>>13519743
WTF Lucas. How could anyone possibly think this was acceptable acting?
>>13519869
Looks like the Gatekeeper from Atmosfear/Nightmare.
Shit, I mean, "Yes, my Gatekeeper!"
"Everybody in this thread is banished to the black hole."
Fuck.
>It Ain't Sheev starts playing
>>13520164
>Because they literally are fueled by evil
yeah, being a thinking, feeling human being is the epitome of evil
>>13520142
>replace it with a secretly theocratic dictatorship under Palpatine that minimizes the previous overt jedi theocratic elements
Fix'd that for you.
Remember, Sith is just as much a cult as the Jedi cult is. The truly significant difference is one only allows two members.
>>13520213
Do you miss the dark forces and murderous scheming the Sith thrive on? Fuck off with your Sith are only trying to be free bull shit.
You fuckers aren't blowing my planet up.
>>13520268
There were only two Sith.
There were thousands of Jedi.
It's more proper to say that being a Sith was just a personal religious issue with the Big 2 that ruled the Galaxy being Sith. It's like the POTUS and his VP being Christians. In contrast the role of Jedi was tied as a tool and agent of the state in the Old Republic.
>>13520169
You can't cleave the Sheev
>>13520268
only allows two members
>>13520300
only two Sith
Not true. Sith Lords train multiple apprentices and then make them fight against each other to the death and continue to train the winner. This is what happened with Dooku and Anakin.
>>13520281
Why do you hate FREEDOM?
>>13520213
In the Force, yes.
The reason the jedi act the way they do is because Lucas saw them as being like buddhists that are detatched.
Sheev defeated the entire purpose of the Rule of Two by killing his master in his sleep. The point of the Rule of Two is that the servant overpowers and kills the master, gauranteeing that each generation is stronger than the last.
>>13520380
You're missing something, at any one point there is only one apprentice and candidates to replace them. Vader and Tyranus aren't simultaneously apprentices. Vader becomes the apprentice after Tyranus dies. This is why Sheev flipped his shit in clone wars when Mal was alive with an apprentice. It made Mal a Sith master and thus a rival to Sheev.
>>13520380
Not to mention all the inquisitors, hands and assorted other dark side users they kept as part of their regime. They weren't formally Sith, but they did exist and were basically dark Jedi.
>>13519743
Why is /tv/ cancer invading /m/??
>>13520447
To be fair though there's nothing stopping any Dark Jedi from just declaring himself a Sith Lord and taking an apprentice.
It's not like there's any one they report to.
>>13520382
Why do you love genocide?
>>13520474
inqusitors/hands are not comparable to a Sith Lord in power. Rebels and even the old Legends canon for example makes that distinction very clear.
>>13520421
I wonder how Sheev and Plagueis even would have fought. Though you're right about Sheev not giving a shit about the rule of two. It always felt like his apprentices were nominal, and only learned basic Dark Side stuff.
>>13520528
I loved watching Vader wreck things in rebels, it really drove home the quality difference between Sith Lords and inquisitors. It also made Vader intimidating, which he should be. However, it also shows you the quality difference between Jedi Masters like Obi Wan and Yoda and a basic knight.
>>13519743
>>13520528
Yea, I know. They still exist and are still dark side force users, which for all intents makes them dark jedi. You can argue their strength relative to the average jedi, but that's kind of a moot point because the end result is still that you had a load of dark force users under Sheev's control running around the place acting as his secret police.
>>13520536
Palpatine never intended his own reign to end and was just taking whoever looked like the strongest guy around at any time as his new pawn and strongarm man.
>>13520573
Well of course. Hell, it seems like he liked Tarkin a hell of a lot more than Vader. There was also a book where it was saying how Sheev intentionally withheld the proper cybernetics for Vader, though whether to test him about adversity or fuck with him I forget.
>>13520580
I'm sure I read something in an EU book once about how it was some small remnant of the light side within Vader that kept him reliant on the cybernetic suit and that if he'd ever fully committed to the dark side he'd have been able to survive without the suit - so Sheev kept him in the suit because he knew as long as he needed the suit Vader hadn't truly committed to him or the dark side or something I guess.
God knows how long that was canon for though. It might have literally been just the length of that one book, whatever it was.
>>13520587
Shadows of the Empire.
It's a negative feedback loop. In the most intense moments of hatred he can breathe on his own, but then the physical experience lessens his hatred and he is back to not breathing.
https://books.google.com/books?id=JFJ3qQyGJSgC&pg=PA49&lpg=PA49#v=onepage&q&f=false
>>13520213
The whole point of how the Sith corrupt people is that their philosophy sounds good on the surface. Freedom to do whatever you want, to protect whoever's important to you, to not act like some cold unfeeling machine. And to be sure, the Jedi of the Old Republic didn't help matters by becoming in many ways draconian, a consequence of how they'd turned overly inward and focused on the future. Palpatine was able to cloud their predictions with the dark side and they were too unused to dealing with the here and now to respond appropriately. A younger, nimbler Jedi Order that had been more focused on the present might have been able to pick up on what was happening based on old-fashioned detective work, following the trail of who benefits.
I'd even go so far as to say that the reason the Jedi failed is because they didn't trust the Force enough. They had to probe it, constantly check it, never having faith that things would work out. The New Jedi Order, despite having far less political capital, size, and power by almost every measure, was far more effective because they focused on doing what needed to be done when there was a threat instead of sitting around just talking about it.
>>13520580
>>13520587
I think it was mainly just to fuck with him. The suit meant Vader could never really recover and made him dependent on the Empire for maintenance. He was still powerful enough to wreck just about anybody he got in a fight with, but he was never the same as he was in his prime.
>>13520528
The only thing that's explicitly supposed to be above a normal Sith lord in power is the Emperor's Wrath.
And there's only been 2 of those in SW history.
>>13520881
I only remember one, who was the other besides Scourge?
>>13520889
The player character Sith Warrior in TOR. You become the Emperor's Wrath and defeat the (false) Voice at the request of the Hand.
Was Black Sun canon before this?
>>13520944
Hm for some reason, I thought I was in the /co/ Rebels thread.
>>13519783
>>13519755
>>13519785
Actually they belong on /g/ - Technology. /ck/ -Cooking is for discussing foods, cuisines, and methods of cooking, but the tools themselves are /g/.
>>13520944
Depends on what you mean by "canon."
They existed in every form but movie and The Clone Wars TV series before this.
>>13520580
>Well of course. Hell, it seems like he liked Tarkin a hell of a lot more than Vader.
Marvel's SW line seems to be running with this tack as well. The Vader spin-off takes place in the aftermath of the destruction of the first Death Star with Palpatine giving Vader all sorts of shit for the fact it happened and even scouting around for new talent to replace him.
Between that and learning that Palpatine lied about his children...Vader's relationship with him is pretty damn strained.
Reminder that VII will be the worst of the new trilogy.
>>13521223
>blaming Abrams alone for the problems with NuTrek
Don't do this. Don't let Lindelof and Orci off the hook for the stupid shit they brought in.
>>13521161
Oh yeah, it's been pretty iteresting so far. Vader in a space heist is definitely interesting.Also Aphra''s ass.
>>13521266
He's their boss, they're his men, you blame the head, not the arm.
>>13520476
>see dorkly's name; wonder what he's doing on /tv/
>realize I'm on /m/>been browsing /tv/ for the first time in years, because huffy mod doesn't allow mst3k threads anymore for some reason.
>>13520474
>dark Jedi
I have never liked this name. Why can't there be a new name for force users that are neither jedi nor sith? Sounds as dumb as light sith which I'm sure is a thing somewhere.
>>13520421
It could depend on how you interpret the rule of two. Like if Plagueis was dumb enough to sleep in a place where Sheev was able to get to him then he was too dumb to live. As long as Sheev learns from the mistake and doesn't repeat it then he is "stronger" than his master.
>>13521223
>Trek Traitor
You can't be a traitor to something you never liked in the first place.
>>13520944
>Black Sun
I guess it is. I'm watching the latest episode of rebels and it was name dropped.
POWER!!!!!!!!
UN!!!!!LIMITED!!!!!!POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>13521223
Ugh, I recognize that fucking cartoonist.
I'd never know him for a trekkie considering none of Roddenberry's messages seem to have gotten through to him.
>>13521665
Sooo, was killing Windu what gave him unlimited power, or Annie cutting off Windu's arm? I never quite understood that.
>>13521704
>>13521704
>I'd never know him for a trekkie considering none of Roddenberry's messages seem to have gotten through to him.
Roddenberry was a hack so I hope none of his stupid messages got to anyone.
>>13521743
He's not wrong, you know.
>>13521223
Remember how everyone was excited for TPM. It'll be the exact same outcome. Except a very angry Trek/Wars united community.
>>13521801
TPM?
/a/ has some, /v/ has some, /co/ has some, /m/ needs some Kelly-inspired comics.Alright no more after this just wanted to get that out there.
>>13521704
It's possible it's all a joke, his political slant I mean.
His cartoons are for the Onion after all.
>>13521704
>ugh
Whenever you see someone write this you just know they're going to follow it up with some stupid opinion
why is that so fucking engraved in my memory
I only saw the movie like twice
holy shit why did i watch episode 3 more than one time
>>13521840
I'll get right on it, chief. What kind do you want?
>>13522025
Anything you want, chief.
Something about gundam and slapping and fathers not hitting, or dying in magma, etc.
>>13521266
>66
It will be done my lord.
Also, J.J. is shit with or without any other writers. He's just not a very skilled director. He also doesn't come across as very confident either.
>>13522075
Not to mention he does not understand why people try to avoid lens flare.
>>13522085
Actually, he does kind of know.
>>13522117
>being so scrub of a "flick"maker that you have to outsource to a company to scrub your scrubtastic mistakes.
What a scrub.
![1418972655208[1].webm](https://i.imgur.com/CGnpNhe.jpg "1418972655208[1].webm")
AUUUGH
>>13522171
Brutal
>>13522171
Spinning's a good trick.
>>13521704
>There are people so dumb they STILL don't know Kelly is a satirist
Morons like you are why Jonathan Swift got into trouble for making jokes about eating Irish babies.
>>13522171
Always gets a chuckle out of me.
>>13522512
To be fair to our non-readers on this board, I should clarify that his joke was that the Irish should eat their own babies, since being good Catholics, they have a lot of babies, and didn't have a lot of potatoes at the time.
>>13522619
I thought most people by now know about A Modest Proposal.
>>13522512
It's like, I keep being told Kelly's satire, and a lot of the time I can see that, but occasionally he's dead on.
Also Sheev's lightsaber was the best one other than Dooku.
Was killing Windu part of his plan?
>>13522714
>>13520536
>Though you're right about Sheev not giving a shit
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cos_Dashit
>>13521801
I'm expecting VII to be a boring piece of crap, but there is no way it's going to be as bad as Phantom Menace. Simply no way.
It's going to be like the new Trek movies. Good looking but boring, dumb and full of forced references.
>>13523391
>New Trek
>good looking
Wew lad. Even by flick standards it's just passable. The lighting was atrocious, action scenes were a complete mess, and the shaky cam was poorly executed (I say this as someone who likes shaky cam, it's just rare that it looks good).
>>13522619
>I should clarify that his joke was that the Irish should eat their own babie
No it wasn't. It was that they should sell their excess babies to the rich to be eaten so that they would have enough money to afford food.
It was an attack on the callousness of the rich English.
>>13522652
>It's like, I keep being told Kelly's satire, and a lot of the time I can see that, but occasionally he's dead on.
That's kinda The Onion's schtick.
>>13519896
Wasn't Sheev The Word Of Lucas?
>>13522652
Good satire always has bit of truth under it. It's used to attack positions or talk about issues considered too "sacred" to handle normally. It takes refuge in comical absurdity, similar to how sci-fi handles the same real-world issues by dressing them up in prosthetic foreheads.
The Onion and Kelly also try to delve into Poe's Law pretty often (at least, for people who don't know the Onion is always satirical). They take a story and run with it so far and go so crazy that you can't actually be sure if it's satire or if there actually is some loon out there who believes this.
O give us this day our daily Sheev.
>>13520968
No! feel the wrath of my very /m/ kettle!
not only does it the complex machinery of a button but is also armed with a super powerful weapon. Very hot water!
>>13519743
The deadly and diabolical Paul Saltine!
>>13520476
>Invading
We've had bug shit here for years.
>>13521571
Makes you wonder why they tapped him to do it then.
>>13521743
>>13521223
>No crying status of liberty
>>13521840
There we go
>>13522171
Does the Sheev Spin have any tactical advantage more than 'this guy's fucking crazy' to make the opponent freeze up so you can run them through?
>>13524703
>Does the Sheev Spin have any tactical advantage more than 'this guy's fucking crazy' to make the opponent freeze up so you can run them through?
Wouldn't think so. I mean yea he keeps the saber in front of him as defense and even a glancing hit is pretty bad so just having it going around is dangerous but it's still leaving him with no footing, he's not looking at where he's going and what he can see is just spinning around. It was an attempt to have him be freaky as he approaches to fight but it just looks wholly retarded. I guess in something like the Tartakovsky Clone Wars cartoon someone might do something like it and become some kind of lightsaber human torpedo but in the actual scene it serves no purpose.
>>13524703
>Does the Sheev Spin have any tactical advantage more than 'this guy's fucking crazy' to make the opponent freeze up so you can run them through?
That shout he did during it was a Force Scream. It stunned them which is why he killed one of the masters so easily.
>>13524893
>killed one of the masters so easily.
Two of them. Agen Kolar just stood there, sword well away from any vital organ of his as Palpatine spunjump into place, took a moment to grimace, then stabbed him through the chest. Saesee Tiin also just stood there, watching this happen. After having this prior warning that the shit was on, he was not ready for this Sith Lord taking his glowy sword out of his friend's innards and using it to try and cut him at like stomach height, which is why he completely failed to block this perfectly average attack.
Fisto the Squid at least managed to not look like a complete retard by blocking a couple strikes. Holy shit how did they manage to completely fuck up what should've been at least a fun swordfighty scene.
>>13524929
>>13524893
just watched this scene on youtube for a laugh. it's amazing the comments trying to justify how shitty the jedi are against SHEEV.
>>13525043
Force Confusion is a powerful technique.
>>13525043
I tried to, but got bored after a minute and watched the Palpatine vs Maul and Oppress fight from Clone Wars instead. Which is far better and I'm still a little salty we'll probably never find out what plans Sheev had for Maul there.
Honestly though I don't think Palpatine should ever have used a lightsaber. I know it's iconic and all, but force lightning and generally be more of a hang back and either intimidate or use more indirect attacks that fuck up mofos was just as iconic on the part of the Emperor in the original trilogy and having him jumping around like a loon kind of destroys that image of him as someone so powerful they don't even need to fight you, they can just toy with you.
>>13525113
Yeah but the thing is Maul was his apprentice and he was a bad ass killer and we know Sheev trained him from boyhood so Sheev being a good duelist was always there. It's not necessarily exclusive with him jumping around like a fool (especially when you get to the various ROTS fan edits that remove all the cgi jumping).
>>13525049
Lucas has used it on all of us.
I was really confused by the prequels.
So was Anakin immaculately conceived via the Force, or are we to interpret that SHEEV used the technique he mentioned that was used by Darth Plagueis the Wise (that he learned before he killed him) to Force Rape Shmi Skywalker and midichlorian fuck Anakin into her? Does that make SHEEV into Vader's father and Luke's grandfather? How cool would that have been?
NO. *I* AM YOUR FATHER.
AND I AM YOURS, VADER. I FORCE FUCKED YOUR MOM.
WHAT. NOOOOOOOO.
AND I AM YOUR GRANDFATHER, YOUNG SKYWALKER.
DOUBLE NOOOOOOOO.
>>13525180
>>13525113
Besides, we all saw how easily Sheev handed Maui his ass with the Force. If anything, the duel was once again one of Sheev's many ways of fucking with people. The whole fight is very condescending on Sheev's part.
>>13525268
The point was at least for ROTS was that it didn't matter whether he was created by Plagueis or by the Force. Only that he fulfilled his destiny in ROTJ.
In TPM, the conception was to illustrate the concept of symbiosis that exists between the Force and living things, but also between the gungans/naboo and the Sith themselves which symbolize a parasitic/cancerous relationships.
>>13521704
You realize his far right comics are supposed to be ironic, right?
So who's of the opinion that Jar Jar is the real mastermind behind some of this bullshit?
>>13525302
Nope.
Snoke isDarth Plagueis/
>>13525312
Snoke is probably an Evil Yoda. Like one of his species.
>>13525302
I don't believe that Lucas is nearly that intelligent or forward-thinking.
>>13525374
regarding Snoke we've heard he "appears tall"
so yeah, judge him by his size do you and then OH SWERVE ITS A YODA IN A BIG SUIT
>>13523391
>but there is no way it's going to be as bad as Phantom Menace. Simply no way.
And what is your reasoning behind this statement?
>>13525478
FlareTrek 2 is a better star wars movie than TPM
>>13525486
You don't just say something without saying why. Again, what is your reasoning behind this statement.
>>13525478
No Jar Jar/midichlorians or child actors in sight.
>>13525405
Kind of want
>>13519743
YES YES YES
>>13525268
I always heard it was Plagueis that force fucked Anakin into Shmi, making Sheev more like Luke's uncle in a way?
>>13525302
That shit had to be some animators on Episode I having a giggle or something. No way Lucas would have thought of that, he came up with DARTH ICKY after all.
>>13525268
>>13525658
Watching the movie for the first time, I got the impression that Plagueis was supposed to be Anakin's "father."
>Palpatine says that Plagueis could create life from midichlorians
>shot of Anakin's face
>remember the story of Anakin's birth and realize Plagueis might have knocked up Shmi
>they say some other shit
>Palpatine eventually reveals that Plagueis' apprentice knows that stuff too
I never thought about it any other way until years later when someone else insisted that the scene implied Palpatine was the father.
>>13525718
Wasn't that scene in front of a giant egg and sperm cells too?
>>13525718
The scene actually implies that Palpatine was the apprentice who killed Plagueis.
>>13525722
I forgot about that part
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05dT34hGRdg
>>13525803
What was that even supposed to be that they were looking at? Is it that universe's equivalent of a laser light show? Was it some kind of high-class bar for Senators, and that thing's in the center for ambiance?
>>13525853
Mon Calamari underwater ballet.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Squid_Lake
>>13525180
>>13525269
Oh I'm not seeing the implication shouldn't be or isn't that he's a badass in his own right, only that the original trilogy set him up as so badass he no longer even feels the need to that shit because he is above and beyond that and on another level. He just sits back and talks to you in such an intimidating manner you don't even attack because you're trying to figure out how he could be about to fuck you up from where he is. He throws lightning at you while laughing at your futile attempts to defend. And so on. It's a much more intimidating and in his case iconic style than jumping around with a lightsaber.
>>13525405
>Final Battle is Finn and Rey vs Kylo and Snoke
>Someone manages to damange Snoke's suit and mask
>It revealed that he is the same species as Yoda
>>13525722
Wow, I never considered that.
>>13525405
I hope it's Jarjar. That stupid theory amuses me more than it should.
>>13526616
Better yet, somebody cuts him in half, and then the evil Yoda just leaps out from the top.
>>13519743
Yes Yes Yes
>>13525405
>droids are everywhere in Star Wars
>super agile robots capable of fighting Jedi were a thing way back when
>technology has only improved
>Snoke is Yoda in a Power Loader with a robe tossed over it
>>13525386
We know Lucas read at least the first Foundation novel, because that's the inspiration for Coruscant. If he read the second then he'd know about the Mule. It doesn't take much intelligence to realize how well played out that character was, so if Jar Jar was a villain he'd match the mule's methods extremely well.
>>13526591
I imagine Palpatine wasn't quite that powerful yet in the prequels. Once he was emperor and the Jedi were gone he had all the time in the galaxy to hone his powers further.
>>13519743
Why didn't the other Jedi just sidestep and flank him whilst he was doing his forward spin instead of just standing there waiting to be hit?
>>13527595
Because they didn't have the high ground. You can't win if you're not on the high ground.
>>13524703
>Makes you wonder why they tapped him to do it then.
Because Lost did well.
He has a success to his name, which means the name can sell.
Same reason Zack Snyder keeps getting work, though he came damn close to deep-sixing that when Sucker Punch tanked.
>>13519743
>tfw you paid to watch the original trilogy get raped even harder the third timeNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>13527585
On the other hand he had no one to hone it against, bar Vader. Who wasn't his equal even then so how would that make him stronger?
>>13528130
Well, they must have been hunting down Jedi for some time before they decided to stop being proactive about it, and by that time the Rebellion should have gotten going.
>>13528177
It's never suggested that Palpatine partook in those hunts though. It's always worded to suggest that was Vader's purpose in the new Empire, while Palpatine is the Emperor and kind of busy ruling and enjoying the fruits of years of work to become said Emperor. And given that he now had his own personal squad of dark side pawns in the inquisitors (instead of the hand and so on) there's even less reason he'd personally partake in it.
>>13528282
I just imagined he'd meditate and feel for movement in the force or something.
>>13528130
He didn't need an opponent, he had a special chamber built where the force was cranked up 10x normal.
But all the time he spent there never did get him to the point of becoming the legendary Super Sith.
>>13529015
Yoda, what does the scouter say about his Midichlorian level?
>>13522171
>>13522463
>>13529338
Why was this never an attack his game appearances?
>>13527585
Pretty sure he was just as powerful. He just feigned weakness against Windu so Anakin would turn on the Jedi to save him and then have no choice but to remain with Palpatine. But once Anakin does so he instantly recovers and blasts Windu out the window.
Heck he seems weaker in the original trilogy, because he just fries a non resisting Luke until Vader picks him up and tosses him into the shaft and that's the extent of his power we see.
>>13521712
I think it was more just like an ejaculation like he'd been holding it in for so long and he finally got to let loose. That and he wanted to put on a show for Anakin because he was in the process of grooming him for bad guy stuff and power was a thing Anakin craved.
>>13520944
Some Falleen Black Sun bosses show up in TCW, specifically in the episodes where Maul's recruiting for his Shadow Collective. It doesn't really elaborate on them beyond "lizard people mafia", though.
>>13519755
It's for people that like their toast a little on the dark side.
>>13525950
>Squid Lake
Fuck you.
>>13525853
The Bubble Comedy Jam Show
>>13527013
https://youtu.be/5qAKXK_aLeA?t=1m28s
