Forgive the MS Paint map. It's a decent template for me at the moment.
But anyway, I have a fantasy/adventure novel in mind. No humans exist in this universe, and magic pervades everything. Gemstones allow for the utilisation and refining of inherent magical talents, which almost every living creature possesses.
Basically I just want to see if the language I'm using fits the theme of the story. I'm trying to focus on world-building and lore in the first sections, so forgive the apparent lack of plot.
Criticism that is not simply "this sucks" is VERY appreciated.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UGrNrLKGu6-7FKKMGMZV5qqHBFQJLraTbl5vdO79luU/edit?usp=sharing
>>8245724
It's an okay idea if you set a target audience of around 6-13 and make the prose very simple and easy to read.
>>8245738
Perhaps I'm ignorant when it comes to publishing a novel, but I don't plan on trying to appeal to a set audience. If you can comprehend the book, you're old enough to enjoy it, no?
>>8245724
don't focus on world building and lore in "the first sections." have it evolve alongside characters and the discovery of the plot or nobody will ever read this.
>>8245774
When I said that in my first post, I guess I really meant that I wouldn't be introducing the protagonists for a few chapters. But you're right of course. Thank you.
>>8245771
Fantasy not build on a traditional occultist school of thought is generally suited to a younger audience, it's soft-fantasy.
>Fantasy not build on a traditional occultist school of thought is generally suited to a younger audience, it's soft-fantasy.
>>8245793
>>8245724
Tense is all over the place, using past and present in same sentence. Should be using present tense more than anything, want to feel like its happening now. To read everything with from the past is boring and lacks engagement.
Adverbs should be as rare as talented women writers.
Over description is also rampant and needs to be reduced
