I need to fap, but every device I have that can access the internet

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Anonymous
2016-06-01 21:16:52 Post No. 8110771
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:16:52 Post No. 8110771 [Report]

I need to fap, but every device I have that can access the internet is broken.
What book do I read to help me git dat nut? Bonus points of it also has artistic value.

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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:25:42 Post No.8110800
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:25:42 Post No.8110800 [Report]

>>8110771
>but every device I have that can access the internet is broken
THEN WHO WAS THREAD?

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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:27:25 Post No.8110813
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:27:25 Post No.8110813 [Report]

Norwegian Wood

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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:28:40 Post No.8110816
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:28:40 Post No.8110816 [Report]

>>8110771

Go look up literotica on google

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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:28:54 Post No.8110819
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:28:54 Post No.8110819 [Report]

>>8110771
Im fn spookd

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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:29:20 Post No.8110820
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:29:20 Post No.8110820 [Report]

Don't you have an imagination?

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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:29:35 Post No.8110821
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:29:35 Post No.8110821 [Report]

Whatever the most homoerotic translation of the iliad is

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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:30:33 Post No.8110826
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Anonymous 2016-06-01 21:30:33 Post No.8110826 [Report]

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If you want cuck you've got it:
SALLY: What's wrong?
JIMMY: I've never done this before.
SALLY: (bursts out laughing) Really? Oh... my... God! You're a twenty-one year old man, Jimmy, and you're telling me you're a virgin?
JIMMY: Don't you fucking laugh.
SALLY: I'm sorry, but it's just too funny. Twenty-one...virgin...oh my God...
JIMMY: So fucking what? I have problems, alright?
SALLY: Yeah, and the biggest one is that you're a twenty-one year old virgin. Ha-ha-ha-ha... Oh God. And now, that you have the opportunity, you can't even get it up.
JIMMY: I am a man, I should be able to please a woman...
SALLY: That's right, but you can't. Look at that little thing. You call that a cock? It's about the size of one of my nipples. (Laughs uproariously.)
JIMMY: I'm pathetic...
SALLY: Of course you are.
JIMMY: I came here happy and hopeful, thinking that things are finally getting better. Thinking I could change things. My mom died last week. And she told me... told me to have hope...that I am a nice boy who will do things... go places...
SALLY: You? Go places? Ha! The only place you're going is back to your pathetic little life, Jimmy. (Gets up, dresses.)
JIMMY: Can I at least have my money back?
SALLY: No.
JIMMY: But--
(Door opens, big black man enters.)
MANDINGO: We got a problem, white boy?
JIMMY: No...
SALLY: Jimmy, this is Antoine. You wanna see a real man, look at him. Cock's wide as a coke can and long as the Eiffel Tower. Unlike you, Jimmy, he's not a pathetic loser who can't pleasure a woman. (Smiles pruriently at Antoine.)
JIMMY: (Leaving now, tears in eyes.) I can't... I can't live anymore...
SALLY: You shouldn't. There's a bridge around the corner, use that.
(As Jimmy leaves, Antoine and Sally embrace each other, ready to have, long, hard, sweaty sex.)