Hello /lit/, I come here with a question.
Does this make sense?
>However, I tell you this: no man will prosper without the proper tools needed to survive. Though unbeknownst to some, education is actually the most vital tool we possess that must be sharpened from time to time. It is the instrument we need to tread the perilous journey known as life.
Any inputs and corrections?
Yea it makes sense but it medicore,
>though unbeknownst to some, educations is ACTUALLYA
Remove the actually it isnt needed andit sounds as if you are trying to write in a voice other than your own, do not try and sound smart, sound like youself, constantly edit and sometimes less is more...
In terms of subect its been touched on so many times and you are making vauge and extremely obvioua statments.. is this a personal project or an assignment
>>8016454
Nope, not an assignment. A submission for a paper.
pfft, gay
>>8016444
>"Education is important."
fify
>>8016472
what a deplorable opinion. kys
>>8016444
It grammatically makes sense.
There isn't any real meaning though.
First sentence is almost tautological (no man will survive without the things he needs to survive)
Second sentence is a stated opinion, without any reasoning supporting it. It's also quite pretentiously stated ("Though unbeknownst to some" is really douchey, "actually" is douchey in this context, you're just repeatedly emphasizing your opinion in irritating pseud ways.) It's additionally frivolous because I have no idea what "education" means in this context.
The last sentence is just a shitty platitude that for some reason you think sounded good.
You write at the meme level. You need at least 10 more years minimum before you have a chance of writing anything decent.
>>8016573
its just an amateur submission.
>>8016577
Don't rationalize or be defensive. You asked for input and it was given. This type of reaction is further evidence that you're stuck at the meme level.
>>8016573
/thread
