Times you went full ass burger
>be me in class today
>give presentation on Finnegans Wake
>drop the word "postmodern"
>professor says "I always thought postmodern meant flying space ships"
>launch into rambling about difference between modernism and postmodernism
>professor cuts me off: "guess I should have put up my sarcasm sign"
>students laugh
>mfw
>>7968627
>teachers bday
>suprise party
>there were cupcakes
> one of the girls anounces its for the class
>hungry as fuck
>cut through line
>take two
>"anon"
>...
>"anon you can only have one"
>"sorry, i didnt eat breakfast"
>eat both infront of the class and teacher
this has nothing to do with books its just some dumb shit that happened today
Hope he failed you, Finnegans Wake is late Modernism
>>7968627
>be me in
oh wait. i hardly ever leave my house
>>7968680
>be me
>oh, wait, i'm a spectral shade that has never existed and never will
>>7968627
>have purple haired, liberal, lesbien feminist as English professor
>almost entire semester is devoted to reading the works of female and minority poets and authors
>close of semester
>am emailed for student evaluation of teacher
>write something close to three pages
>send it off
>two weeks later feeling conflicted about evaluation
>have heart to heart w/ humanities professor, saying that I feel like shit about it
>Hum professor says nothing will come of it
>haven't seen professor in 4 semesters
tfw
>>7968627
be me is reddit terminology by the way, i bet you didn't realize it just hoping for upvotes on here.
>>7968668
youre a dickhead
>>7968784
what did you write? any examples?
>>7968789
be me has been around on 4chan since greentexts first came to be man
>>7968680
tiny distinctions in genre REALLY matter
>>7968627
your professor seems like a dick honestly. ive known quite a few english teachers like this.
>>7968789
>Outing yourself as a newfag this hard
>>7968789
why do you try so hard nouvel-pede?
>>7968668
lol i'm usually that guy
but it's usually okay at our parties, people just laugh at it.
>>7968668
Kill your self you fat fucking pleb. Get your diet in order, neck beard nigga.
>>7968795
>>7968848
>>7968914
I can't tell what is bait and what isn't anymore. How deep does the irony do? Is this meta-metabait or just retards
>>7968798
Postmodernism and Modernism are gigantic differences - also not 'genre' but movements of intellectual thought
>>7968784
Good job. I had an English teacher just like that and would have done the same if given the opportunity.
>>7968627
To be fair... you know what I don't even think I can defend you tbqh.
>>7968668
That's pretty funny
Tha fuq are you sharing with "people" for? If you must go to college just do what you gotta do to get certified to be paid well.
>>7968668
MODS
>>7969076
It's not bait. 'Be me' started here and has likely been adopted by reddit.
>>7968668
More like you imagined how funny and surreal it would have been if you actually did that, and then got in line.
>>7968794
It's shorter than I recall; this is the first paragraph.
> ---- ---- is a very nice person, but her teachings and reading selections leave something to be desired. With a textbook filled with great works by great authors, I've found what she has assigned to my class questionable to say the least. Consistently --- has chosen the works of obscure female writers to illustrate her lessons rather than the works of momentous and profound writers. And I include "female," because I have found there to be a manifest slant in the works she's assigned. Alice Walker over Leo Tolstoy and James Joyce and Kafka and Hemingway and Herman Melville and Updike and Faulkner. Natasha Trethewey and --- --- over Whitman and Aesop. (All of which, save for --- ---, have works included in the text).
>>7968784
Oh I'm gearing up to write one of these about my German professor.
I'm looking forward to it.
>>7968668
You can get away with that shit if you know how to play it off
>kids selling these meatpie things on campus
>take one and bite it
>pretty damn good
>girl looks at me like i called her a bitch
>"one dollar right?" :^]
>class on 'the development of the form of the novel'
>taught by a bewildered doctoral student
>"t-this week we're going to be discussing the representation of women in the 18th and 19th century"
>hadn't read anna karenina, thought george eliot was a man
>mfw
Literature is dead.
>>7968798
>genre
Jesus Christ.
>be me
>first day of EngLit in college
>elderly female lecturer asks everyone to introduce themselves
>people say stuff like "hey I'm Katie I'm a big fan of Charlotte Bronte. In my spare time I enjoy photography and hiking"
>panicking hard
>feel that intense self-awareness where my brain keeps reminding me that this is actually happening
>try and think what authors I like
>literally can't think of anybody
>no hobbies so nothing comes to mind
>lecturer raises her eyebrows at me and smiles
>realize it's my turn
>heart beating
>say in a loud panicked and defensive voice "Ibrowse4chan"
>people obviously waiting for me to say something else
>eventually the guy next to me talks about joining the LaCrosse team
>switch majors the next day
Regretted it ever since. My father was pleased since he thought I'd "seen sense" and opted for a practical degree but the fact I've been NEET since graduating doesn't really support that.
>>7968784
I have a professor who is at the vanguard of the LGBT movement here in my country, but even he understood that most female and homosexual writing paled in comparison to the canon. We did discuss Virginia Woolf, but he took time to discuss Hemingway, Faulkner, and Joyce.
He was right. Just because you're gay doesn't make you a good writer - and he won most of the literary awards in our country already, so he wasn't talking shit.
>>7970806
we're specialized as required for a career in research but they slot us in wherever for TAships
complain about waste of money on admin, useless facilities, sports, that's where your problem lies
>>7970845
When one of his courses were 10 Great Works of the 20th century, I liked his choices. It was only a three-month course, but we sped through 100YoS, The Waste Land, To the Lighthouse, The Stranger, A Farewell to Arms, The Lies that Build a Marriage, Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, Animal Farm, The Catcher in the Rye, and To Kill a Mockingbird.
Given that we only had two months to speed through the whole course, I thought they were good choices.
Great professor.
joyce is the ultimate modernist u god damn dingus, ur stupid and ur professor is also bad
>>7970861
*two months
>Joyce
>postmodern
You deserved it, desu
>>7969322
I hope you actually cited reasons as to why this was a bad thing other than just "theyre all women!!! :(((("
>>7970825
LMFAOOO i feel so bad for you but holy fuck.
>western lit class
>Discussing Arthurian myth
>Talking about Lancelot, and some students are discussing whether he's just a stand-in for the author's own biases and his desire to put a superior French character or whether he's there to appease the author's French benefactors
>Dumb bitch that sits next to me smugly says that the author's self-insert was clearly Sir Galahad.
>Trigger.exe
>Cut in and tell her that's impossible since Chretien de Troyes never wrote about Galahad.
>She tells me I'm wrong, since everyone knows the Vulgate Cycle was started by de Troyes, and Galahad is a major character in it.
>Professor closes the powerpoint, sits down and opens up a book because he knows where this is going.
>Cue forty minute extremely heated argument between me and the bitch wherein I pointedly explain the difference between Chretien de Troyes' work and the Vulgate Cycle it inspired, and how the Cycle itself was constructed by many separate, mostly unknown authors expounding upon the seeds planted in de Troyes' writing, and how she's a fucking cunt that needs to kill herself for not knowing that.
>>7968668
dude wtf
>>7971028
Nice. How did that work out in the end?
>>7971462
I married her.
>>7971028
And that woman's name...was Albert Einstein.
>doing history course on Central Europe, 1867-1918
>have an insecure female professor who won't respond to anyone unless they address her as Doctor ---, and she informs us of her qualifications every chance she gets
>one particular lecture is about the ideologies of the period
>professor says, in so many words, that people back then were somehow different to us, that we no longer have any ideology, and that ideology has ceased to exist in the west
>I ask her whether she thinks saying there is no ideology is in itself an ideology
>she ignores me, so I approach her after class
>I then tell her how surprised I was to find out that ideology had disappeared, and ask her to recommend me some material so I can study how and when this momentous transition in human culture and history took place
>she begins to stutter that I can look at historical election results and opinion polls that show how the west has embraced democracy
>I point out that liberal democracy is an ideology like any other, and that our acceptance of it does not change the fact that it is one ideology among many others
>she blanks, so I thank hr for her time and leave
a few days later I passed her in the hallway of history department while I was submitting an essay for another course, and before I could even say hi she squeaked "I don't have time for questions!", turned around, and strode quickly away
>>7971972
this is really mean
>So do you like books anon?
>Haha no I dont read reading is for nerds
>Oh ok
Why do I always do this? I feel guilty for disparaging the thing I basically like the most
>reading Richard III
>everyone shitting on Richard for being an asshole
>I feel bad for him because he's ugly so i stick up for him
>say i feel bad for him and compare him to Eliot Rodger
>realize what i have done
>give up because i'm sweating
i'm an idiot and an asshole
>>7971972
What a flake-ass buster
>>7968668
XDD toplel kys lad wew kek
>>7970812
there is a difference between "discussing different world views" and "wasting student time on mediocre feminist / minority writers."
>>7970825
XDDDD you fucking cuck, why are you even on this board
>>7968627
oh shit your professor was making a hidden reference to gr. and you were too retarded to catch on
>>7971028
i dont get this reference someone pls explain
>>7970812
Underrated post
Fuck these spoiled brats
>>7968798
maybe you shouldn't use a word if you don't know what it means you retard
>>7969204
THAT shit would be KAFKAesque my nigga
>>7971972
>>have an insecure female professor who won't respond to anyone unless they address her as Doctor ---, and she informs us of her qualifications every chance she gets
One time a friend invited me to his philosophy class. It was an intro course, I think he is in STEM. His teacher was like that too. Wanted to be called doctor and she would always talk about feminism. I don't even think they mentioned Plato.
if it makes you feel any better, you were probably wrong about the differences between modernism and postmodernism
>>7972074
>wasting time
>mediocre
your ideology is showing
>>7970861
>>7970845
I really wonder if these profs we hear about who only assign minorities, gays and women are from mediocre schools with chips on their shoulders. I went to a top US liberal arts college and had lots of activist professors and even one man who has been lauded as the grandfather or gay fiction but they were all very even-handed about who they suggested we read. The reading list for a professor who openly stated that she dislike most men was still over half white men, and she was senior enough to do whatever she felt like.
>>7972144
there is some worth in understanding literature isn't just the best examples of it. i don't get people who spend money just to study the canon and think that is a sufficient look at the medium
The best part of this was that the professor really got a kick out of it
>taking a course in history of the Arab-Israeli conflict
>throughout the semester I've inadvertently cultivated a serious autism persona
>talk really fast during class discussions, fail to make eye contact, always nervous as fuck
>one of the last discussions of the semester is on the "Israel lobby"
>I am assigned the pro-Israel side (argue that AIPAC and J-Street etc are not threats to democracy, that their influence is overstated)
>One of the assigned readings had an appendix full of tables detailing US foreign aid and such
>naturally, no one in the class looked at these statistics
>except me
>my autism will not permit me to not scrutinize quantitative data
>in the discussion the "anti-Israel" side of the class makes their opening statement
>lots of bullshit
>professor asks if my side has a response
>immediately blurt out "Is there an Egypt lobby?" This is my opening and closing statement.
>no one else gets my point, which I didn't realize until my professor asked me to elaborate
>Explain that US funding to Egypt and US funding to Israel occur in a "two-to-three ratio"
>perceive opponents' silence and blank stares as an admission of defeat. don't elaborate.
>actually they were probably just wondering where the fuck I got that statistic from
>after a moment of silence, professor (clearly fighting the urge to grin in admiration at my autism) explains the implications of my second statement to the dimmer members of the class
>no one responds to my argument
>I remain silent for the rest of the discussion not daring to unleash more statistics on my opponents
>>7972158
They weren't all canon authors by a longshot, given that the last class I was talking about was American Fiction from 1950. Not all white male authors go down in history.
>>7971988
He didn't mock her in public, he just made he try to justify her idea. She's a professor, how is that mean?
>Reasoning with women.
>>7972202
cool story
>>7972142
>Nothing but Minority writers.
>Ignore the Western canon.
I would say her ideology showed itself first.
>>7970812
Except a teachers job is teaching, not opinion pushing. It could be alright if it was for discussion and stimulation but what a lot of them tend to do is use their position to enforce it, especially when it's them deciding the content.
>>7971972
ebin if true
>>7971028
N-Nerds!!
>>7968784
>>7970812
It's shit tbqph.
http://www.salon.com/2015/10/28/i_wanted_to_be_a_supporter_of_survivors_on_campus_and_a_good_teacher_i_didnt_realize_just_how_impossible_this_would_be/
Also thought you might like this, she's like a friend of a friend or a friend of a friend of a friend or something and this seems to be indicative of a particularly shitty trend.
>>7968817
All subjects and profs can be as shitty unfortunately
>>7971972
She's stressed out m8. Write her an email and just be like "I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, I hope if you can find the time at some point to calrify/recommend..." blah blah blah. Being even slightly supportive in such a situation is worth a tremendous amount, worst that can happen if you word it all alright is that you wasted your own worthless time.
>>7968668
wew lad
>>7972202
> A class debate happens
> Someone uses relevant arguments and sound sentences
> Poeple snicker and laugh
Evrytiem.
>>7972135
>this
>had a dude that couldn't stop telling you he got his doctorates from Yale
>spouted off every little story of how his family was royalty from back in China
>we get to political philosophy
>Locke and Hobbes both developed their political philosophies during the English War of the Roses
>Spend 30 minutes trying to explain that not only Locke and Hobbes only barely lived at the same time as the other, that Hobbes lived through the English Civil War which is an entirely different event than the War of The Roses which took place a full 200 years earlier
>tells me I'm confused and need to read more history
>mfw
>>7972437
I serious for real feel you dawg, and serious for real this cycle is doomed to repeat throughout your life.
>>7972437
>Chinese royalty
Did he claim actual nobility, or just that they're loaded? Because if they used to be nobility then they're not shit now and if they're rich now they're probably the absolute opposite of cultured.
>>7972381
This happened last semester, I no longer have her thank God.
It wasn't stress either, she was genuinely clueless. She wore a feminist badge on occasion. That said, some of her lectures were fairly interesting.
>>7972492
You can be stressed and clueless.
>>7972494
What makes you think she was stressed?
>>7972483
I meant to type Korean.
But according to him royalty, filthy rich, with servants and a mansion.
>>7971972
10/10
>>7972509
I've seen a lot of stressed female academics. She sounds like she was running around with a firework up her but which is like a general sign, same for the poorly set up lecture and no prep for obvious questions.
Most people that go on to postgrad could probably prepare something better without as much experience, that kind of drop in performance means stress ime
>>7971997
i absolutely know that feel
imagine being like that about all your hobbies though:
>like fashion
>afraid of being called gay
>like video games
>afraid of being called nerd
>like books
>afraid of being called pretentious/faux intellectual
>like anime
>afraid of being called weaboo
>like art
>afraid of being called pansy
>like obscure/underground media
>afraid of being called weird
Of course I'm not that fucking insecure about my hobbies, but sometimes it's hard to find people to talk about this shit.
>>7968914
tsau musi
>>7971924
this is funny. you're funny.
>>7972362
That article was a good read fampai
>>7972528
That makes sense, I never stopped to consider her state of mind. At the time I was annoyed that the uni (one of the top 3 in my country) allowed incompetent idiots to peddle such drivel to students who were incapable of recognizing it for what it was. I was also annoyed that I, and everyone else, was paying to listen to that drivel, and I took my annoyance out on her.
But at the same time, she's well paid and answering questions like that is what she's paid to do. She failed her students, and worse, taught them something that would actually inhibit their ability to understand the world around them and would actually make them more ignorant. She was far too conceited to take any friendly advice or to accept a helping hand - she has a PHD and is an accomplished strong woman don't you know, while I'm just another dumb student. I don't know what else I could have done other than to demonstrate her own ignorance to her, which I did in private rather than show her up in front of the class whose time she was wasting.
>>7972362
im not giving salon any shekels
archive link or fuck off
I don't blame you OP
postmodernism is degenerate and it pisses me off
Today talking with a friend:
>So yeah its kind of Lovecraftian an-'
'Wait whats craftian?'
>'Lovecraftian?' (Thought he hadn't heard me)
'Yeah whats that?'
>'Oh Lovecraftian is a way to describe a type of horr-'
'Yeah but what does craftian mean?'
>...
'Anon!'
>'Lovecraft is an author's name, the 'ian' is used to liken things to his genre'.
'Oh'.
In class a week ago:
>(Asked a question I know nothing about on German imperial policy)... 'so I guess there was a degree of gentlemanly capitalis-'
Teacher: 'What does that have to do with the question?'
>'Well the theory-'
I know what it is. How does it fit in this specific debate.
>(Get grilled for 5 long minutes and eventually retract my point)
It's almost like you don't know anything about German imperial policy.
It was a class on the history of China...
>>7972000
Lel, you're doing god's work anon
>>7972000
What's wrong with that? Post people admit he was pitiful at least.
I knew you browsed /lit/ you fucking dweeb.
>>7968668
Alpha as fuck. Ignore all the untermenschen.
>>7971972
your a dorable
