>teacher calls shakespeare old english
>she calls Othello African American
Things english teachers did that trigger you
dude, i was fapping to a porn and a girl texted me with a line from the dialog of the porn i was watching, wtf, is like google publishing my browser history somewhere online and i don't know it or what, fucking noided as shit right now
>>7941033
>teacher calls shakespeare old english
>hasn't gone immediately to the dean's office
I'm unironically judging you for this
>>7941041
Maybe your gf is google
I don't believe they called Othello African American
>>7941048
you'd be surprised how many people in america, including blacks, use african-american as a catch all for the global african diaspora, basically anyone who's black and speaks english is "african-american"...part of my jobs involves helping people fill out forms and people always make a stink about why it says "black" and i'm like well this is a diverse area, not everyone is american ok...of course it should say "african descent" but the form maker was mong
>>7941048
The teacher was a former,black, jock, who seemed like she didn't know much of what she was teaching.
She tried to get kids into hamlet by saying he was on le weed, too.
Things that didn't happen more like
>>7941062
Tfw Samoan.
I've heard 2 times "wow this is the first time I've seen a black dude with a tan"
>>7941066
Calling Shakespeare's language "old English" is a surprisingly common mistake.
>>7941033
When an English teacher tells me to use trigger warnings it triggers me
>>7941048
I know an Angolan girl who lives in the UK and she self-identifies as a black girl, as an Angolan girl would. We were at a party together and an American exchange student got flustered and said she's actually African-American. I think 'African-American' has just become a convoluted synonym of 'black'.
>>7941577
Well it IS "old", adjective, English, just not "old English"
just use the word nigger like god damb
>>7941066
these are the most believable, vanilla stories i ever heard you niggas dont know wtf i seen in public schoolscuz ill never tell fuck you
This is a story I share a lot on here but it's pretty memorable. Here goes...
>be in Grade 12
>10 minutes before English class starts
>be sitting at my desk reading The Master and Margarita
>teacher gets up from her desk and walks over to me
>she asks me what I'm reading
>I tell her it's The Master and Margarita
>I just want to read my book in peace
>she starts going on about how she had to read that book for a class as a postgraduate
>heavily implies that I'm too dumb and uninformed to understand the book
>I say, "Okay" in response
>just want to read my book
>she just took up two precious minutes of my free time as a high school senior
I fucking hated her.She was a MILF tho
in tenth grade english the class was split up into like 8 (assigned) groups of 5 or so people each, and the teacher gave topics with a few minutes in between each one to debate and come to a consensus, then we had to write out collective, agreed-upon answer on a small white board and we all held it up at once.
the question was something like, should women be allowed to wear men's clothes. ('this should be easy'; i was naive). my group was mostly jocks who hadnt yet been sifted out of the ap classes. they were emphatic and persistent in their argument ('i dont want my girl to look like a _dude_'; no seriously), and i was equally emphatic and persistent when i argued so as not to go on the dry erase record as agreeing with these folks.
every other group came to the reasonable answer almost immediately and she waited on our unwavering disagreement a minute or two before giving up and moving to the next question.
I guess my beef was with the students, not the teacher, but still-- dumb exercise, right?
>>7941723
10/10
>>7941723
You've posted this story before. It clearly affected you a lot
>>7941033
>african american
kek, this probably happens a lot too
>>7941816
Nah, it's just the only shareworthy moment from highschool English that easily comes to mind.
>highschool math
>read before class sometimes
>teacher is surprised i can read because i'm getting like 30% in math
>>7941033
Well it is Ye Olde English.
But it's not "Old English".
>>7941875
It find it kinda funny some people think people actually used to talk like some of Shakespears characters. Like how mind boggling would it be to speak everything in fucking verse.
>>7941887
Why dear sir, dost thou imply
That man spake not with wit nor rhyme
Forsooth we know, now and hold high
The verse yspake throughout our time.
>>7941912
kek
>>7941875
yee oldey english XD
>>7941912
O fuck
>teacher points out that Othello is a Moor
>she explains that all the European discoveries of the Renaissance were really Moorish discoveries
>GCSE english
>We have to read out plays and books line by line, each of playing a different character
>We all have to participate
>If you speak in your own voice the teacher chastises you for not being in character
>Just stop attending
>teacher circles entire essay and writes "stop being a pretentious contrarian" in red ink
pic related
>>7941912
Underr8ed
>>7942030
No fucking way. Please tell me you kept that shit
>>7941033
>mfw high school teacher says Catcher in the Rye is written in stream-of-consciousness
>>7942057
here's a pic from the thread in reference anon
you can probably find it in the archive by searching that anon's greentext
>>7941041
It is possible to sync Chrome's browser data (including history, i.e. the pages you visit) across devices. A girlfriend of mine seemingly accidentally did it once when signing in on my computer. I could see the pages she visited (while she couldn't see mine, I used Firefox anyway).
Maybe you signed in on that girl's computer once and she took the opportunity to sync the data?
>>7941065
Lmao that actually sounds pretty cool. Talk to the teacher privately, I thought my teacher was retarded too for playing Green Day in class then she gave me a copy of the Fountainhead and later Moby Dick.
English teachers have to put up with so much dumb shit.
>>7941607
I would be kicked out of your class daily. That is the dumbest shit ever.
>>7941033
>be reading Shakespeare in high school English
>me and my friend are the only two people in the class who can read Shakespeare
>we coordinate so well the Teacher said it sounded like two people having a real conversation
>autistic girl is picked to read
>illiterate jock is picked to read
>me and my friend read smoothly
>autistic girl stammers and gets nervous while talking
>English teacher rekts her by saying "Whats wrong autism(he called her by her name), you speak when you aren't supposed to why can't you speak when you are told? I guess its easier to speak loudly in the background than it is center stage."
>illiterate jock stops and asks how to pronounce every other word
>English teacher tells him he better know how to read fast food menus
>me and my friend hate reading out loud
>keep getting forced to read out loud because we can
>English Teacher keeps speaking to us outside of class
>English Teacher singles us out as the only kids who can read
>don't want attention
>get too much attention
reeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>7942622
>I thought my teacher was retarded
>gave me a copy of fountainhead
Thus proving your hypothesis
>>7941955
When did America become nazism reincarnate with Africans in place of Aryans?
>>7941062
It's like they think it's one word, "africanamerican" that means "black."
>>7941041
Your minds were resonating with one another.
>>7942728
KANGZ
>>7941790
faggot
>prof teaches brave new world as hyper-capitalism
>correct some kid who said shakespeare was alive during the black plague
>end up looking like a sperg, when I only wanted to correct them (especially since the teacher helped reinforce this idea)
The teacher had us read The Lovely Bones and a children's play version of Shelley's Frankenstein.
That was the extent of my English literary education in Dutch high school.
>Year 11
>Choose to do Extension English cause I'm fucking /lit/
>All hyped about getting more patrician
>Class is 95% handout papers
>>7943589
Maybe post-hyper. They are implying that they are in the US after all.
>year 11, portuguese class
>we sit in pairs
>my table and the one behind me are the worst in class, we do stupid shit all the time and never pay attention
>teacher keeps shouting at us
>one day he's giving us back our tests
>I'm confortable because I always get good grades and the test was easy
>all 4 of us get a 30% though
>tests aren't even corrected, he just put 30% as some sort of revenge
>it's like a shock for everyone, even more so for me because I wasn't used to that kind of scores
>teacher says he wants to talk to me after class
>I leave just after class ends avoiding him
>her him shout "HEY! HEY!!" behind me but ignore him
>later at a café outside of school get told he was running across the entire school foe half an hour looking for me saying he wanted to beat me up
wew lads
Next class he changed our seats
Fuck I have a lot of these, I don't think I've ever had a good English or literature teacher.
>When your teacher claims that their favorite book is something that they teach in the curriculum, i.e. 1984, TKAM, or Of Mice and Men.
To me this just shows they don't read anything of literary value outside the class.
>When in my AP Literature class the teacher pushed us to read YA genre fiction like The Hunger Games.
>When they do that shit where you have to take a scene from a play and rewrite it so that it takes place in modern times.
I swear every time my class and I read Shakespeare I had to do this.
>The teacher has John Green posters up in his room.
Weird thing was he was actually a huge DFW fan, had actually presented papers at several DFW conferences, and at the end of our 12th grade year the final book we read was The Pale King.
>Freshmen year in college in Intro. to World Literature, we read a single novella and it wasThe Mysterious Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
I thought that shit like this stopped after high school, but I guess I was wrong.
There's plenty more, but that's what I can remember of off the top of my head.
>is an English teacher
>has ridiculously inconsistent formatting across worksheets
>misspells at least 3% of her words
>can't use proper grammar for her life
>thinks The Road Not Taken is about being a special snowflake and how it'll help you in life
>thinks Ted Kooser is the best poet of all time
>thinks Atticus isn't racist in the sequel
>wants to name her son Atticus
>is getting a master's degree in poetry
>>7944238
Wait, you can teach without a master's in America? Maybe that's the problem then
>>7944246
not like a master's in poetry is going to do much anyway
>>7944246
Not him, but it depends on the state. In mine, you only need a bachelors. In some, I don't think you necessarily even need a degree in whatever subject.
>>7941033
>>she calls Othello African American
>>7941723
lol similar story of mine
>be me, 16 yeas old
>walk into bookstore, get Proust vol. 5, The Captive
>go to pay
>cashier looks at me confused
>"Is this for school?"
>"No"
>"Is this a present for somebody?"
>"No"
>Didn't ask me anything else, just took my money and watched me as I walked away
>be me 11 years old
>a friend and I discuss Animal farm
>associate the animals with different kinds of people
>Cat - Intellectuals, Dogs - Secret Police, etc
>we feel pretty smart and spend the rest of the vacation swimming and playing and stuff
>6 years later
>I am sitting in my final year of school (I am german)
>english teacher pulls out animal farm
>we will read this now together
>proceeds to force people to read the book aloud while the rest of the class reads along
>someone moves their lips while reading
>some people play candy crush behind the book
>Then the class spends 20 minutes trying to figure out what it is about
>"Oooh, so the pigs are the communists!"
>I started sleeping in english classes during this time and never stopped until graduation.
>>7944389
zozzle
>>7941033
>English teacher didn't know The Winter's Tale was by Shakespeare
>>7941033
>at uni doing an English minor
>need one more credit, sign up for theatre
>have some experience in drama, find out at the end of the semester we'll be performing Midsummer Nights Dream
>least favourite but hey easy credit
>class is majority female with like 4 other guys in it (including myself)
>two really flamboyant gay guys always hang out with each other
>not boyfriends just roommates
>couple of weeks pass and we get to the point where we are assigned our parts
>come in late and see the two gays and ask
>"so which one of you is Bottom"
>they complained
>I got written up and forced to apologised.
>worth it.
>>7944442
pic related was a great show
>>7944442
Nice.
>>7944400
Of all the posts in this thread, this one is most likely to be bullshit. Surely no one could have made it to the position of teaching English literature without having read the Winter's Tale.
>Twilight zone? That's that shit with vampires, right?
>>7941048
Not a teacher, but I had a classmate who once called Othello African-American
>>7941041
technology is destroying us
>>7941041
this is why I always watch porn in an incognito tab
>>7941912
O gentle sir thou speakest bad, with rhyme
Where rhyme was not, nor dost thou well observe
The pattern marked in the stresses, yea,
Thou art a proper ideot, I trewe.
>>7942030
>/lit/ in a nutshell
>>7944635
cringeworthy
>>7944635
I think that thou sure must recall
The form of speech I did thee call
Twas that of peasants, liars and thieves
O friend, please stop, thou needn't grieve
>>7944238
>tfw mom was gonna call me Atticus
She calls me adequate-us
>>7942708
Fountainhead is the worst book I've ever read
>dual enroll at the local community college while in high school
>take american lit class
>professor used to be on the harlem globetrotters
>meets once a week for 3 hours
>literally all we do is read out loud for 3 hours straight
>only read one book all semester that falls under both "american" and "literature", old man and the sea
>besides that read the wizard of oz (his favorite book), dr jekyll and mr hyde, child 44, and this book he wrote
>book he wrote is literally the worst thing I've read in my life
>about a princess transported to a fantasy world wherein she has to find these "secret crystals"
>it was book 1 of 7
>written entirely in the active voice
>only had one assignment all semester, essay on wizard of oz
>still got an A
>>7941046
Lain made me think I was a pedophile for, like, a year. Normal?
>>7941044
op is obviously a high school student
>>7944235
>>When in my AP Literature class the teacher pushed us to read YA genre fiction like The Hunger Games.
Heh, I know someone teaching English at sophomore levelin Russia, though. We got talking about what she makes the students read.
>pic related
>>7945394
that's normal, I'm from a non-English country and that's the kind of stuff we had in English classes as well. It's supposed to help develop their english skills, and keep in mind in most countries you only have english as a foreign language as a mandatory subject for 6 or 7 school years and this during your adolescence
>>7944353
Same thing happened to me, but she was surprisingly nice once she realized I wasn't pants on head retarded.
>>7941842
Really? Most people who are really into literature that I've met have been terrible at math. I always thought it was stereotype.
>>7944926
>implying you were wrong
>people who think Moors/Berbers are black
>>7945620
that's the american education system for you
>>7941790
Fuck I hate being associated with the ressentiment9k crowd, but the opposite question (men in women's clothing) is so much more interesting and controversial.
>>7944051
>Be in 3rd grade.
>Would read my science and history books in advance because I loved reading them.
>Teacher would say wrong things that contradicted the book, even during the times we had our book right in front of us.
>Would raise my hand to correct the teacher. She stopped calling on my aftwards and I would just speak out of turn.
>She would send to the office and complained that I was "belittiling her intelligence" by correcting her mistakes.
>Almost got expelled that year.
>Mother would beg me to stop so I could continue going to school.
>I would not stop as I believed it was wrong my fellow classmates were not being taught correctly.
>They obviously did not give a shit.
I had trouble with almost half of my elementary school teachers because I was a contrarian little bastard who didn't let teachers spout any bullshit.
>4th grade, talking about fruits and vegetables.
>Teacher uses tomato as an example of a vegetable.
>Tell her it is actually a fruit.
>She states I am wrong and it is a vegetable.
>Try to explaij to her the concept of ovaries and seeds and the characteristics lf fruits.
>She gets mad and tells me that tomato will be a vegetable for the purpose of this exercise and there would be no further discussion.
>>7942803
Deepak is king troll.
>>7944353
>Go to bookstore.
>Obtain (/lit/core exemplary novel with complex narrative structure).
>Proceed to check out.
>Ready with a 10/10 witty comeback when they ask if I "truly wish to buy such a patritian book".
>Homely3.14 cashier proceeds to scan book label and tells me "that will be $14.87".
>Angered at the lack of opportunity to perform my comeback I throw $16.34 at her and ask her to give me exact change.
>I refuse to tip.
>Leave with my third consecutive copy of (Patritian /lit/corr Novel by Some Guy who Killed Himself)
Truly being patritian at the end of times is suffering.
>>7941033
whats wrong with calling it "old english"? Its not technicality wrong
had a humanities lecturer go off on a crazy /pol/ style rant. complained about white christians not having enough children and about muslim people overpopulating and this and that other complaint about modern times which all only amounted to fear mongering
i was pretty triggered. it sprang up inside me to say "mmm, fear! delicious! give us more!". but i sat and listened
>>7945717
Yes it is, it's early modern English. Unless you mean English that is old, but still it's quite odd to call it that.
>>7944235
>I don't think I've ever had a good English or literature teacher
What's more likely to be the common denominator in 12-16 years of English teachers? All of them, or you?
>When your teacher claims that their favorite book is something that they teach in the curriculum
Wouldn't you teach your favorite book? Even if you didn't teach your favorite book, after a few years of blank stares and kids who don't want to read anything longer than 5 emojis on an instagram comment, you'd start lying to hype up the content as well. Anything to get the kids to read a book.
>When my AP Lit teacher pushed us to read YA genre fiction
Because your teacher assumed that, being in AP, you were well past the 'le high art only' meme and could intellectually distance yourself from the material enough to apply your analytical skills to anything. Obviously that teacher was wrong because you're much too advanced as a reader to sully your high-brow ego with pop lit; It's simply beneath you, isn't it, anon?
>When they do that shit where you have to take a scene from a play and rewrite it so that it takes place in modern times.
That exercise isn't for your benefit. In a classroom of 20+ students, teachers are vary the difficulty of activities so that all levels of students can absorb something. Some activities you will find engaging, others you will not find engaging. Guess what: not every activity in a classroom is about you personally.
>The teacher has John Green posters up in his room.
See above, re: anything to get students to read.
>b-but in c-college i h-had to read a book that was b-beneath me
See above, re: AP Literature response.
It sounds like you're a pretty shite student desu. Lemme guess, you've never really tried in school and always got good marks on your tests anyway. The system didn't appreciate your le genius level intellect, and it was all a big waste of time.
>>7945825
Not him, but I do have a few critiques. Firstly, it's not as likely that he's had 12-16 years of shitty English teachers, but it's not impossible, either. Some of the schools in this country are terrible, a lot of teachers are unenthusiastic about what they teach, and he may have just had really bad luck. Also, I've been in classrooms where the "adapt a scene to modern times" exercise has been used, and it generally sucks and is disliked by the majority of other students. Still, that was just one experience, and I'm sure there are teachers that do it well.
Otherwise, solid 8/10 ass-whooping.
>>7945676
Good story but what kind of exercise did you do that depended on tomatoes being vegetables?
>>7945701
do americans really tip in bookstores or is this just a meme?
>>7945717
Here's the first page of Beowulf, in Old English. It's a misnomer to call Shakespeare Old English because early English dialects are already called Old English.
>>7945865
it's a meme but Americans also tip excessively so it wouldn't surprise me
>>7945825
Bait harder, bucko. YA 'literature' has no place in a purportedly college-level curriculum. It is useful, perhaps, as an anthropological tool for analyzing youth culture and its monetization, and even that is a somewhat dubious pursuit. It's got nothing to do with being snooty: if you choose to take a more challenging class, you are meant to deal with more challenging material.
Far more than the person whom you responded to, you seem to be posturing here as someone who really knows how to teach English; I'd like to see your teaching credentials. I admit I know nothing of how to run a classroom or anything like that, but I know that it is the duty of the English teacher to make the students aspire to something a little higher than John Green. That is, I know, a difficult task in many instances, but merely resigning to a culture of ignorance is just failing at your job.
all english classes I had at high school revolved around how bad racism is and right wing politician said X thing
I wish we would read lit instead of that marxist bullshit
>>7945892
I took all of the advanced English classes in my highschool and none of that stuff came up until I took regular English senior year and everyone hated the teacher that brought it up. There were so many complaints that she got in trouble with the superintendent. One of my teachers was famous for his "nigga please" story.
We didn't get to read anything lit related, mostly just focused on righting papers which kinda sucked.
>>7945904
>righting papers
come on
tell me more about that teacher
>>7945915
>Implying he wasn't talking about "righting" documents by meticulously going over established texts and censoring them to be "politically correct".
My 8th grade English teacher made us black out the words "damn" and "piss" when we were reading And Then There Were None.
>>7941033
My english teacher said there was no indication of Dolores Haze's age until Humbert met Quinty. And my Java professor said that Strings are primitive types.
>>7945904
>righting papers
Yeah your educational establishment clearly failed you, you have every right to be resentful
>>7944723
As sweet as any melody to come from donkeys' jaws,
Thou hast left my waiting ears with yawns and hehaws.
The hour thy twine life seamstress deems to cut, bards will sing
Of how thou'st made Prometheus regret the fire, he did bring
>>7946710
Don't you mean
>every write to be resentful
not even noeing good english
