A song for my ex

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SWIM
A song for my ex 2016-04-05 17:24:30 Post No. 7889727
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A song for my ex SWIM 2016-04-05 17:24:30 Post No. 7889727 [Report]

Ok so i rewrote a song called post acid it's by wavves. I'll have a link at the end. This songs for my ex who i screwed over, so constructive feedback is welcome and I'd like to know if you think it would work to get her back. Post acid is one of her favorite songs by her favorite band.

"Gillian, you're the one for me, how could i not see, that you're the one?
Gillian, I'm a fool for you, do you think I'm cool? I've been a tool!

I don't understand,
No, i don't understand
Why i screw up
Why i screw up
Why i screw up
Why i fuck up

Understand, i want to be your man, do you think i can? Will you take my hand?
Kill me again, won't you fill me in, on your master plan, won't you fill me in?!

I don't understand,
No i don't understand
Why i screw up
Why i screw up
Why i screw up
Why i fuck up

Do me in, oh how i hate myself, for what I've done to you, will you do me in?
Love of mine, can you forgive me? Will it take some time? 'cause I'm out of rhymes!

I don't understand,
No i don't understand,
'cause i don't understand,
I'll never understand
Why i screw up
Why i screw up
Why i screw up
Why i fuck up

Uhh. UhhhHHHhhh. UuuhHHHHhhhhHHhh.

WHY I....
WHY I....
WHY I....
WHY I.... FUCK UP!"

Post acid: https://youtu.be/0H2wvspO29c

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:25:37 Post No.7889730
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:25:37 Post No.7889730 [Report]

This is fucking awful but I'm pretty sure that's the joke, which is simply epic

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:28:42 Post No.7889742
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:28:42 Post No.7889742 [Report]

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>>7889727
Gunna assume this is sincere, and if it is, well if she's pleb enough to enjoy Wavves she'll probably at least enjoy your objectively shitty recomposition of an already shitty song. Can't speak on if this will win her back though. The thing about the straw that broke the proverbial camels back, is that there are a million other straws underneath it.

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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:28:56 Post No.7889743
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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:28:56 Post No.7889743 [Report]

>>7889730
This isn't a joke. I thought it was a good idea and I've gotten some positive feedback on it already

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:29:08 Post No.7889745
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:29:08 Post No.7889745 [Report]

tfw why i screw up/why i fuck up
so deep
lionel richie would be jelly

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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:30:34 Post No.7889749
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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:30:34 Post No.7889749 [Report]

>>7889745
Lol im not creative at all and the idea i had to rewrite this song didn't leave me with much to put in there

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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:31:40 Post No.7889752
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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:31:40 Post No.7889752 [Report]

>>7889742
So basically you're saying the song is shitty enough to earn my shitty recomp?

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:40:28 Post No.7889773
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:40:28 Post No.7889773 [Report]

>>7889727
If she comes back to you after this, she totally deserves you.

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:41:18 Post No.7889775
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:41:18 Post No.7889775 [Report]

>>7889727

These lyrics are so stupid that I have the strong urge to kick my monitor.

Please don't infect lit with these shitty threads anymore.

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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:42:26 Post No.7889779
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SWIM 2016-04-05 17:42:26 Post No.7889779 [Report]

>>7889775
There's no better board for it :^)

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:43:36 Post No.7889785
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:43:36 Post No.7889785 [Report]

>>7889779
>>>/MU/

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:44:07 Post No.7889787
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:44:07 Post No.7889787 [Report]

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> When the cringe is too strong

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:44:09 Post No.7889788
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:44:09 Post No.7889788 [Report]

>>7889779

It belongs in the trash, not on the internet.

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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:46:29 Post No.7889798
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Anonymous 2016-04-05 17:46:29 Post No.7889798 [Report]

>Understand, i want to be your man, do you think i can? Will you take my hand?
>Kill me again, won't you fill me in, on your master plan, won't you fill me in?!
o i am laffin/10

also sage