Name a better book to permanent place on the shelf next to your toilet and bath. Protip: You can't
>makes you look patrician to house-guests
>short size of chapters makes ideal burst reading
>my uncultured STEM gf actually asked me what a cognomen is.
How can you concentrate on shitting when you're reading?
dude, i just took an excellent shit, but i only read a music magazine, i've been looking for something patrish to read while shitting, might subscribe to paris review or something. it disgusts me my roommates watch tv on their phone while taking a shit, what the fuck, do ppl really do this? apparently.
>>7842815
>concentrate on shitting
just push dude
>books on the toilet
>not just shitposting on 4chin
>>7842825
I watch twitch while i shit
>>7842801
Kawabata's Palm-of-the-Hand Stories.
fite me irl m8
>>7842890
Begging for an e-book of this. Been looking for a while now but I haven't found anything in any of the usual places.
My ass, OP.
>>7842961
Give me 10 min and I'll post a link
>>7842890
magnet:?xt=urn:btih:d775053f840ca0b8ae5075479c0641aba2cc805b&dn=Palm-Of-The-Hand%20Stories
>>7842815
If the act of defecation takes up too sizeable a portion of your conscious perhaps reading is not the thing for you. Perhaps you'll find yourself happier just shitting.
Reminder that if you need over a minute to finish shitting and wiping you aren't eating enough fiber.
>>7842972
You are kinder than Jesus's smile to a lame, idiot child, anon. Thanks.
Plutarch is the bomb, that's the godly Dryden translation too
Charonean Plutarch, to thy deathless praise
Does martial Rome this grateful statue raise
For Greece and she thy fame have shared
Their heroes written, and their lives compared
But thou thyself couldst never write thy own
Their lives have parallels, but thine hath none
>Dryden translation
why waste time with this trash? I bet you like Pope's Aeneid, too, eh? "sooo patriiician"
>>7842984
This
if you can read more than a page while in the shitter you're doing it wrong
>>7843008
Some of us enjoy beautiful prose *shrug*
I shit at work so I get paid. But if I were to have a shitter book it would be montaignes complete assays. Most are short enough to read in 5-10 mins.
>>7842801
I think you mean Plutarch's Life. He wasn't a cat, you know.
I read all of Nietzsche's The Gay Science while on the shitter. I'd say it's even more perfect, since it's just aphorisms, and there's maybe 2 of them per page on average.
>>7842801
Who the fuck takes long enough to shit that they can read on the toilet? You guys need some fiber. Unless your diet is absolutely fucked, you should be off the pot in under a minute, paperwork included.
>>7842973
>trading highbrow literature for highbrow shitting
>>7843200
We haven't all sodomized ourselves to the point of incontinence anon.
>>7842801
Aesop's fables
Homeric hymns
Pindar's odes
Sappho
>implying you've even read Plutarch
Nice stock image faggot
>>7843302
>the Dryden edition of plutarchs lives is so hard to purchase and read
>millions of faggots didn't buy it from Rome total war loading screen quoted
>>7842994
get a load of this faggot
>>7843319
I didn't say it was hard to read, I was saying I don't believe you have read it, let alone bought it.
For all of the "le greeks" talk around here, frightfully few on this board have any real Greek/Roman lit experience.
>>7843755
PS would love to be proved wrong
>>7842801
Andrew Sarris The American Cinema
Great in the bathroom and for looking patrician when you actually have guests over that won't think you're a total autist for reading aloud at a party.
I dont like urine and fecal particles on my books tho
>>7843159
Also reading gay stuff while your asshole is being stretched is perfect.
>>7844297
This.
OP is objectively confirmed as a field-tilling commoner.
>>7843200
Faggot with busted asshole detected.
>>7844773
Not that rare a work
>>7844297
lel
every book is full of piss and shit
>>7842801
Picture of STEM gf?
You people need to fix your diet. I go in, drop a single log, no need to wipe. Done in 30 seconds.
>>7844973
This
>>7842984
Sometimes I just sit on the toilet after I'm done. It's my form of suburban meditation.
Literally shit posting as we speak
>>7845086
literally laughed out loud
in my opinion, as someone who thinks that art is worthwhile, there is no better bathroom reading than poetry collections or artworld magazines. i'd recommend triple canopy on the smartphone i know you read on the can anyways, or joe wenderoth's "letters to wendy's" if you want a physical book.
>>7845131
Nah I just chuckled thanks though
>>7845154
oh, or an umberto eco essay collection, because they're an underread part of his oeuvre and he's fucking dead, jesus fucking christ
jesus fucking christ
>>7844773
I stand corrected. Very cool!
I like cracking the tao te ching when I dump
I like to read exclusively harry potter when I shit
>>7842801
>46 YEARS OF AGE
>NEVER HAD READING MATERIAL IN TOILET
Eat some vegetables you fat fucks.
>>7845398
damn son you old
>>7845398
>has never lifted weights
>has never bulked like a champ
>has never had twice daily toilet shattering shits
Fuck off señor twig
Disgusting to read on the toilet. Don't do it.
But to contribute to the thread regardless, what you are looking for is sort of intellectual coffee-table books.
I have the perfect recommendation: Daily Rituals - How Artists Work.
Ambrose Bierce's Devils Dictionary is my vote
>>7842801
>how much trace faecal matter has he thumbed into those pages?
>>7845667
And by the way, I also request more books of this type.
Biographical stuff is preferred.
To make it related to that pic, try reading Goldensohns Nuremberg Interviews with the Germans. Highly fascinating reading.
>>7843200I have a disease, anon.
>>7845684
No more than you pick up while turning an average public door handle
>>7845667
>coffee table books
who wants to hold something heavy if they are squatting correctly?
>>7846753
This is completely unnecessary if you have proper fiber intake
