Monlogue of a dead man
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I'm trying to dig into a lost and existential viewpoint for a short that I'm writing about a man who believes he has died and gone to hell.
Odd electronic experimental music has been fueling my journey. Mainly Hot Sugar and Two Fingers today. What do you peeps listen to when you'd like to dig into the mountains of madness?
Have you ever checked out Stockhausen? His music is pretty mad.
>>7468913
Using the google now. Thanks for the tip.
Yeah you weren't kidding. Stockhausen has some real spacey eternity filled horror floating around.
Disintegration Loops forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYOr8TlnqsY
How foolish was I not to appreciate presence. The clear cut and defining lines of reality itself. Geometries and feeling, light and sound.
Absence? Or Abyss? Perhaps such concepts are one in the same.
My thoughts were so clear before that defining moment without time. Encased in a darkness that cannot be defined as the lack of light but as the lack of all my thoughts carry on.
Fear grips me. It is such a pain that is unimaginable in form and model that I can only hint at.
At first eternity came to mind. In the tumultuous ocean of my mind and consciousness I wished to believe that there could be an end to the absence. I prayed to gods I had never believed to let me hear the subtleties of life. A heart beat, the soft pulsation of organs moving in oneself. The regulator of ones being perhaps?
How I longed for the pressure of blood to flow through my veins yet again as I suffered life on this earth woefully tied to my mortal body. Such bliss that was...
Without an anchor I fell into the boiling hiss of my own thoughts until I realized that soon even that would end. These musings surely wouldn't last...Would they?
>>7468950
There was no rhythm rhyme or reason to my descent. The shallow construct which I called time was no longer watching over me.
Could I have more to lose? Longing for the sinking pain of fear in ones chest would strike me as a blessing now. Without even the feeling I was left nothing but to scream and implode into my own horrors. I could only imagine the tears and snot seeping out of my nostrils as I panicked. Despite the limitless vision and horror there was no air to carry sound, nor had I lungs to carry it.
Journeying through my human emotions was an endless cycle of death and rebirth without reprise or rest. The jumbled mess of my thoughts tore itself asunder like the genocide of all that ever could be. The pain I felt was omnidirectional. I truly understand evil, I have become it. Within my everlasting darkness I shall forever die. All thoughts sinking further into depravities one could not describe in a fruitless effort to shock! To feel!
I hungered for the chance to tear into my own flesh! Digging my own figers in my own grey matter just to rip asunder all that I could have ever known just to experience it once more!
It was simple. Without question or doubt I was in hell. To suffer in the limitless memory of what once was in all. Trapped in the sinking space as I was now. Or is it am?
>>7468970
All perception of linear thought began to degrade. The only timeline I could hold onto was my own destruction.
It seems as if soon perception itself would be at an end. Realization of my situation just twisted back into my cycle of suffering. The end was the beginning but in each way reinvented into torture of a new and existential form. Perhaps I was delusional. Flecks of hope splattered across my psyche stinging my consciousness like acid to my skin. No! How l longed to be gone! How I longed to cram my eyes shut to the welcoming vision of my own eyelids. Dark, but not truly darkness. Not like this..
>>7468982
If anyone has feedback I'd be happy to hear it. Good or bad.
You should definately check out Venya Drkin's last album Tae #2, completely different to his previous work, he worked with experimental electronic stuff which I find comparable to Eduard Artimiyev. He completed it in his final month of cancer, I love how the notes feel slightly off and jarring, it feels very anxious and insomniac
Beня Д'pкин Tae#2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WDkNON-C2Y
>>7469044
Sweet. Thanks for this. Any thoughts on my writing? I'm hoping for some input.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Um5cqsXqRH
I made a recording because I'm bored and lonely
Look for dark ambient artists, particularly off of the Cold Meat Industry label.
Some suggestions would be Raison D'etre, Desiderii Marginis, Lustmord, etc.
>>7469076
I'm loving the Lustmord stuff. I've got one of his albums rolling on vimeo right now and I'm feeling spooked beyond belief
Somebody's got to have something to say about the writing. Cmon.
Is the name "Monologue of a dead man" Taken by you? It fits somewhat nicely with what I'm writing and it has a really nice ring to it.
>>7470367
I will take that as a go ahead:^)
>>7470558
Its not mine, it just seemed appropriate. Thanks for not commenting at all on my writing.
>The jumbled mess of my thoughts tore itself asunder like the genocide of all that ever could be.
I really liked this line.
Change asunder the second time you use it to another word.
You misspelled finger but i don't judge you for that.
>>7470848
You're a saint man. That's the first review I've had in like 8 hours of this thread existing.
>>7470367
those colours are kind of dull
>>7468910
>Two Fingers
Good choice! You should listen to Amon Tobin
>mfw believing in an afterlife
>>7469049
Love the reading, and the content itself is great anon. I hope we'll get to see the final version
>>7471020
One of my favorite artists in fact. That's how I found out about two fingers
>>7471029
>2015
>afterlife
Soren was right bro, in this world, in this life.
Obligatory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epuga2JoF8A
