How to properly start a novel?
>>7446740
try writing
>>7446740
wipe ass with its foreword and then burn the resulting poop laden page in fire.
>>7446740
With words.
In media res.
>>7446740
1. come up with setting
2. come up with characters
3. come up with a happening
4. connect it all
5. add details
6. jerk off on furries and cum on yourself
7. profit???
It was a dark and stormy night...
>>7446740
once upon a time
There was once a...
by making a false statement
"Call me faggot."
>>7446802
>1. come up with setting
Yes and no lazy infodump!!!
>2. come up with characters
good characters make even a lame story interesting!
>3. come up with a happening
you can. but don't forgett the goals and personalities of your "cast"
>4. connect it all
they souldn't ever been disconnected!
>5. add details
means slow down a bit after a happening (and no sudden (random) mood changes!)
>6. jerk off on furries and cum on yourself
or fuck a real girl/horse
>7. profit???
???
>>7446740
Use your iPhone's predictive text.
bib bib bicu bicu big man jeans apron velho chest machine poopy diarrhea smell stinky xd dog eat my poopoo
poopy pants
diaper smell
schoolhouse 1st grade xd xd stinky bib rotten diarrhea in pants xdd play with furry pet hamster balls diarrhea on hamster xdd teacher smell poop in my big man pants xd sent to principal office principal smell poop i poop in face xdddddd
play with smelly poop mom toys!!!!!!!!!!!! bib bicu bicu diaper diarrhea smelly stinky xdd dirty shirt diaper leak full of stinking diarrhea xddd sprey poop on tv xdd eat pet goldfish lol
xddd daddy smell pee in big fat poop diaper lol like big babby smell xd
eat pooopy mom food!!! sniff dinner plate xd poop on table xdd diarrhea on mom shirt xddddd like binky babby big big bicu xd lol
xddddd diaper stinking in bed xddd wear big man jeans full of rotten stink poop xddd lol like babby leak xdd on apron like velho chest stinky poop machine lol
stinky stinky poop on dog face xddd dog eat my weenie xddd
play with furry pet dog butt xdd poop on dog face barf sniff like great big babby fart xd
binky babby fat poop diaper lol mom smell poo in diaper xdd change diaper diarrhea explode in face xxddddd mom cries like big babby poop on daddy face lol xd
binky babby food like big man smell xdd hike poop on blackberries like velho chestmachine poopy diaper on trail xd dad change on cow i poop cow xdddddd diarrhea stinking beans fart xdddddddddddddd
balls in diaper xdd sweaty balls full of stinky poop diaper leak xdd poop in bed ruin covers xdddd
stinky pooop xddd poop in recess kids run away xddd rub poop on teacher big stinky babby fart lol poopy pants full of stinky diarrhea
xd toilet paper stuck in butt xddd covered stinky rotten poop xddd like babby smell velho xd poopy pants in big man jeans xdd underwear diaper leak stinky smelly poopy diarrhea lol
>>7447143
Burroughs is a hack
>>7447143
genius
>>7447143
Yes.
With the second chapter.
Not even joking.
The generic "Start with a bang." I don't like. How many books that you've read and enjoyed have actually done this? (Guaranteed not all.)
Begin with something at least slightly gripping at first, or alluding to some gripping stuff to come. Another great way to start is stating an interesting fact/event, then start the book leading up to how said thing happened. (Reader wants to know how the interesting fact/event/whatever came to be.)
Another word of advice that I always stick by is never start a book with a mental image of how it'll finish in your head. It gets too hard to fill in what's in between.
Ayy yo hold up lemme get this mu fuging story started yo
When Brenda shitted out her first kid, she had a feeling it would be a faggot, and boy....was she a whore.
>>7447405
This desu senpai
>>7447405
Cut your first and last chapters off your novel is pretty much the best advice ever.
Not having a split infinitive in your post would at least indicate you understand grammar.
spongebobwritesTHE.webm
How do you guys structure your novels? As in the layout, chapter title, headers, footers, etc.
This is what mine looks like right now, though I have to center the chapter title manually.
>>7448480
It reminds me of the start of 1984 (pic related).
>>7448505
Yeah, that's what I was going for, thought I'd begin the same way my 2nd favorite novel did.
>Shadow had done three years in prison. He was big enough, and looked don’t-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time. So he kept himself in shape, and taught himself coin tricks, and thought a lot about how much he loved his wife.
Neil Gaiman desu senpai :^)
>>7448480
Don't fuck with formatting, if you have no clue how. That's a graphic designer's job.
