Is it possible to write a suicide note that doesn't come off as edgy or pathetic?
Lets discuss suicide as and act and the messages associated with if from it's perpetrators.
Also, lets have some fun writing our own and imaginary suicide notes and rating each others.
Anyone?
>>7400335
Start with: "This is going to sound pathetic, but..." Boom, not pathetic.
"I was just getting bored. Love you all, goodbye folks"
>>7400507
reads as insincere
>>7400335
suicide is edgy and pathetic, any note will be as well
>>7400335
I think the cause of Michael Jackson's death was misadventure, not suicide.
You're doing it wrong if you leave a note.
>>7400335
No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun – for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax – This won’t hurt.
>>7400335
You're thinking about it the wrong way. A suicide note is the last opportunity you get to shitpost, and the one time in you're life that people are practically forced to take you seriously.
You should write it in an over the top melodramatic style on purpose, so that as you take your last breaths you can be amused that they will have to struggle with their own tastes and fool themselves that they don't think that the person who wrote it must have been a massive wanker.
It's not really different from anything else, only perhaps more daring in its clarity.
>yfw you kill yourself expecting it all to be over but your consciousness detaches from your body and you are now irreversibly trapped and forced to observe the abyss forever with no possibility of repose until eschaton
this: http://m.friendfeed-media.com/2da79442231982a471aa37bbdcf283d9f092ea87 [pdf]
Greetings and salutations, everyone!
I recently discovered that heaven is real, but you can only get in if you kill yourself! For your convenience, I've placed several fully-loaded pistols in the cabinet for you to use. Please, join me in the afterlife as soon as possible! But don't forget, you have to kill yourself to get in!
Cheers!
P.S.
They have free WiFi here and all the Chipotle you can eat!
>>7400521
これだ
>>7400639
I like this one.
My suicide note would beBABY SHOES; NEVER WORN
ABY SHOES; NEVER WORNB
BY SHOES; NEVER WORNBA
Y SHOES; NEVER WORNBAB
SHOES; NEVER WORNBABY
SHOES; NEVER WORNBABY
HOES; NEVER WORNBABY S
OES; NEVER WORNBABY SH
ES; NEVER WORNBABY SHO
S; NEVER WORNBABY SHOE
; NEVER WORNBABY SHOES
NEVER WORNBABY SHOES;
NEVER WORNBABY SHOES;
EVER WORNBABY SHOES; N
VER WORNBABY SHOES; NE
ER WORNBABY SHOES; NEV
R WORNBABY SHOES; NEVE
WORNBABY SHOES; NEVER
WORNBABY SHOES; NEVER
ORNBABY SHOES; NEVER W
RNBABY SHOES; NEVER WO
NBABY SHOES; NEVER WOR
BABY SHOES; NEVER WORN
>>7400754
ehh fucking spoiler tag ignores spaces
here, have another:BABY SHOES; NEVER WORN
ABY SHOES; NEVER WORNB
BY SHOES; NEVER WORNBA
Y SHOES; NEVER WORNBAB
SHOES; NEVER WORNBABY
HOES; NEVER WORNBABY S
OES; NEVER WORNBABY SH
ES; NEVER WORNBABY SHO
S; NEVER WORNBABY SHOE
; NEVER WORNBABY SHOES
NEVER WORNBABY SHOES;
EVER WORNBABY SHOES; N
VER WORNBABY SHOES; NE
ER WORNBABY SHOES; NEV
R WORNBABY SHOES; NEVE
WORNBABY SHOES; NEVER
ORNBABY SHOES; NEVER W
RNBABY SHOES; NEVER WO
NBABY SHOES; NEVER WOR
BABY SHOES; NEVER WORN
>>7400579
E D G Y
Here's one
*hangs behind you*
Psssh, nothing personnel kid
*unsheaths rope*
*kills self*
I now leave this vile zoo behind me. Perhaps you should cry tears for youself, eh kid
Anyway, you wouldn't understand
*departs from you*
>>7400579
lol I'm pretty sure I heard a poem just like this on NPR the other day. It wasn't good, but you are making it look great.
>>7400639
Remember your Kierkegaard guys. Take the leap of faith and let the teleological suspend the ethical. You know it in your hearts that it is true.
>>7400579
Hunter S. Thompson should've made his own death more dramatic. Shame.
>>7400548
Does auto erotic asphyxiation count as a misadventure?
>>7400335
Beethoven's suicide note (his Heiligenstadt Testament, Oct. 6 1802) might be one of my favorite pieces of literature.
>>7400786
have there ever been any funny suicide note that are preserved?
that sounds like a good idea
"sorry, everybody. don't blame yourselves, it's just faulty wiring. life stopped being fun or rewarding and my experience of daily living has become overwhelmingly negative. i'm more tired than sad."
i think it coming off as edgy or pathetic is due to assigning blame, playing up a victim complex, talking about your own weaknesses too much, or assuming some kind of inherent superiority over the reader.
>>7400577
Yeah if you leave a note then you are saying that you don't actually want to die. Leaving a note is the best way to prove you're edgy.
"I'm going to kill myself."
>>7401217
redundant
>>7400335
'JUST'
>>7400335
which is the most patrician way to suicide?
Which is the most pleb/fedora way to kill oneself?
Is suicide patrician?
is mass suicide the most etical choice humanity could ever take?
Time, space,
neither life nor death is the answer.
And of man seeking good,
doing evil.
In meiner Heimat
where the dead walked
and the living were made of cardboard.
-
To confess wrong without losing rightness:
Charity I have had sometimes,
I cannot make it flow thru.
A little light, like a rushlight
to lead back to splendour.
-
I have tried to write Paradise
Do not move
let the wind speak
that is paradise.
Let the Gods forgive what I
have made
Let those I love try to forgive
what I have made
>>7401235
>which is the most patrician way to suicide?
opium
>Which is the most pleb/fedora way to kill oneself?
shooting up a school
>Is suicide patrician?
yes
>is mass suicide the most etical choice humanity could ever take?
choosing to not reproduce amounts to the same.
"Hey check out this cool trick you can do with a piece of rope"
>>7401264
>Doctors HATE him!
>Click here to see a rope trick to die for!
>>7401279
*posts note on house door*
find out one easy trick stay at home moms are doing to relieve all stress and get rid of ALL problems ever
at NO COST (for you at least hehe)
Just put something vague that people will read into and think you're a deeper person for.
Say you hang yourself: "I hang by the string that society weaved."
Say you buck shot your head off: "My skull fragments scatter like the days of our lives."
"I'm killing myself as a statement about 21st century society. This is art."
>>7400761
Hemingway's writing will be so bad it will kill them so they won't have to grieve.
>>7400806
Yes, you're just trying to get off not off yourself.
>>7401239
aww, my fave fascist
Oh you men who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn, or misanthropic, how greatly do you wrong me? You do not know the secret cause which makes me seem that way to you. From childhood on, me heart and soul have been full of the tender feeling of goodwill, and I was ever inclined to accomplish great things. But, think that for six years now I have been hopelessly afflicted, made worse by senseless physicians, from year to year deceived with hopes of improvement, finally compelled to face the prospect of a lasting malady (whose cure will take years or, perhaps, be impossible). Though born with a fiery, active temperament, even susceptible to the diversions of society, I was soon compelled to withdraw myself, to live life alone. If at times I tried to forget all this, oh how harshly I was I flung back by the doubly sad experience of my bad hearing. Yet it was impossible for me to say to people, "Speak louder, shout, for I am deaf." Ah, how could I possibly admit an infirmity in the one sense which ought to be more perfect in me than others, a sense which I once possessed in the highest perfection, a perfection such as few in my profession enjoy or ever have enjoyed.--Oh I cannot do it; therefore forgive me when you see me draw back when I would have gladly mingled with you.
My misfortune is doubly painful to me because I am bound to be misunderstood; for me there can be no relaxation with my fellow men, no refined conversations, no mutual exchange of ideas. I must live almost alone, like one who has been banished; I can mix with society only as much as true necessity demands. If I approach near to people a hot terror seizes upon me, and I fear being exposed to the danger that my condition might be noticed. Thus it has been during the last six months which I have spent in the country. By ordering me to spare my hearing as much as possible, my intelligent doctor almost fell in with my own present frame of mind, though sometimes I ran counter to it by yielding to my desire for companionship. But what a humiliation for me when someone standing next to me heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone standing next to me heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard a shepherd singing and again I heard nothing. Such incidents drove me almost to despair; a little more of that and I would have ended me life -- it was only my art that held me back. Ah, it seemed to me impossible to leave the world until I had brought forth all that I felt was within me. So I endured this wretched existence -- truly wretched for so susceptible a body, which can be thrown by a sudden change from the best condition to the very worst. --
>>7401485
Patience, they say, is what I must now choose for my guide, and I have done so -- I hope my determination will remain firm to endure until it pleases the inexorable Parcae to break the thread. Perhaps I shall get better, perhaps not; I am ready. -- Forced to become a philosopher already in my twenty-eighth year, oh it is not easy, and for the artist much more difficult than for anyone else. 'Divine one, thou seest me inmost soul thou knowest that therein dwells the love of mankind and the desire to do good'. Oh fellow men, when at some point you read this, consider then that you have done me an injustice; someone who has had misfortune man console himself to find a similar case to his, who despite all the limitations of Nature nevertheless did everything within his powers to become accepted among worthy artists and men. "You, my brothers Carl and [Johann], as soon as I am dead, if Dr. Schmidt is still alive, ask him in my name to describe my malady, and attach this written documentation to his account of my illness so that so far as it possible at least the world may become reconciled to me after my death".
At the same time, I declare you two to be the heirs to my small fortune (if so it can be called); divide it fairly; bear with and help each other. What injury you have done me you know was long ago forgiven. To you, brother Carl, I give special thanks for the attachment you have shown me of late. It is my wish that you may have a better and freer life than I have had. Recommend virtue to your children; it alone, not money, can make them happy. I speak from experience; this was what upheld me in time of misery. Thanks to it and to my art, I did not end my life by suicide -- Farewell and love each other -- I thank all my friends, particularly Prince Lichnowsky's and Professor Schmidt -- I would like the instruments from Prince L. to be preserved by one of you, but not to be the cause of strife between you, and as soon as they can serve you a better purpose, then sell them. How happy I shall be if can still be helpful to you in my grave -- so be it. -- With joy I hasten to meed death. -- If it comes before I have had the chance to develop all my artistic capacities, it will still be coming too soon despite my harsh fate, and I should probably wish it later -- yet even so I should be happy, for would it not free me from a state of endless suffering? -- Come when thou wilt, I shall meed thee bravely. -- Farewell and do not wholly forget me when I am dead; I deserve this from you, for during my lifetime I was thinking of you often and of ways to make you happy -- please be so --
>Dearest,
>I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.
>I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.
>>7401557
>>anything but falling on your sword
romans were degeneratesinb4 i gave you too much credit and you're just a weaboo
Hey, everyone.
I know that anyone who cared or loved me feels very sad and torn right now, but, I had to do it. I didn't feel very well, I didn't feel anything at all, if you come to understand my motives it would seem very reasonable. Now, I don't want anything more than the well-being and happiness for you, so grieve all you want, but this: I am better off not being alive.
Sincerely,
Dear mom and dad,
Ayy lmao
All I wanna say is we made it together and that's enough.
make sure to include a TL;DR at the bottom with a one sentence summery, so people don't have to sift through your bs
come on man don't kill yourself
>>7400335
>Good Old Neon
i'd definitely not leave a suicide note. i'd never be satisfied with it and working at it would keep me from ever actually committing suicide.
>>7401075
I don't think there ever were funny suicide notes to begin with. Suicidal people usually aren't into that.
are people who suicide morally obligated to leave a suicide note
asking for a friend
>>7401853
Then you can publish it after a few years of constant polishing, get mad bux and indulge in all kinds of pleasures known to flesh, no need to suicide anymore.
>>7401927
You aren't obligated to anything. If you feel that it will be better with a note - write a note, otherwise don't. Or better yet, reread the first sentence couple of times.
>>7401928
>indulge in all kinds of pleasures known to flesh
Being a hedonistic degenerate wouldn't make you want to kill yourself?
>>7400791
shit i think i remember hearing that. every word of it has been erased from my memory though
My suicide note would probably be
"Let me sleep now mum, you ask why I sleep this early? This dream will be longer than the rest."
"Equestria is calling me."
I think George Sanders had one of the best suicide notes ever.
>On 23 April 1972, Sanders checked into a hotel in Castelldefels, a coastal town near Barcelona. He was found dead two days later, having gone into cardiac arrest, after swallowing the contents of five bottles of the barbiturate Nembutal. His death was ruled a suicide. He left behind three suicide notes, which read:
>"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."
>>7402588
What is so good about that one?
>>7402588
it seems boring tbH
http://www.openculture.com/2013/08/the-very-concise-suicide-note-by-kodak-founder-george-eastman-my-work-is-done-why-wait-1932.html
>>7400335
>Is it possible to write a suicide note that doesn't come off as edgy or pathetic?
No, because suicide is always pathetic.
"Don't blame yourselves."
"Please burn my body"
"I've left a detailed list of my video games and their market value on eBay. Please do not sell them cheap off Craigslist."
If i died rich, have them play beethoven's 4th piano concerto at my funeral, and if i died without fortune have them play one of brahms's piano trios, you know which one, and if i died poor ask Carola one more favour and make her play the chaconne one last time for me. I forgive everyone and asking everyone forgiveness. Don't gossip too much.
>>7400335
"Urinate on my body."
"Vote for Gary Johnson"
To Mom and Dad
This is your fault. Thank you for casting me into the cosmic muck without my consent.
Your failed creation
"When the building is on fire, jumping out the window doesn't seem so bad. Forgive me."
I feel like this makes a death wish understandable for people who don't have one. They care about me so I'd want them to have closure.
"Going to bed now. See you later."
>>7407024
Early to bed, early to catch worms!
>>7402088
Twilight is best pony.
>>7407793
>If you have loved ones and people close to you, you shouldn't be committing suicide in the first place.
literal pure ideology. the "suicide is le selfish xd" meme is really disgusting, it's both transparent and self-contradictory.
>>7406353
Implying any birth requires consent. It's inderstood it does not.
>>7407793
If there was no one to write a suicide note to, the entire affair of killing oneself would feel pointless. The suicide note is the most important part of a suicide.
The story I'm writing is basically an overly long suicide note to my parents.
“Tell them I've had a wonderful life”
>>7400335
I Hereby write that I (name) am killing myself since this world does not deserve me.
I am far too good for this world so i depart it so that i may go to heaven and take my rightful place as God and smite the world for not deserving me.
is that edgy enuf?
>>7407866
>Implying any birth requires consent.
Nope.
>It's inderstood it does not.
Yep.
Draw out the conclusion normie.
