c-can someone s-site read this p-p-please?
>>7358758
>>7358760
>>7358758
Consider apostrophes
>>7358758
Don't start essays with quotes.
>>7358758
Do you work for Heinz ketchup and/or are you brain damaged?
Please tell me this is a postmodern digression down a rabbit hole. I blame DFW.
>>7359135
look man im no expert in literature or writing, i just need to pass a class.
In the second paragraph you wrote "apart of their culture", but I think you mean "a part". For things to be apart means that's they're separated, where a part means an element of.
Also I'm curious what class this is for. Are you high school OP? You shouldn't be here.
>>7359023
>why not?
Are you questioning him after begging us to edit your garbage writing? This isn't the homework board fagtron.
>>7359023
>why not?
It's unoriginal and unprovocative. It's fine to use quotes later in your essay, just don't start it with them. I recommend starting them with imagery of some kind: professors eat it up.
>>7358758
underage b&
>>7359023
not him but starting an essay with a quote is cliche and corny
it's like you're trying to do a motivational speech or something
>>7358758
god damnit normie do you even mla format?
Paragraph 1 issues: Dropped quote in first sentence. Honestly just reading the first paragraphs is shitty. Instead of describing the Ketchup bottle and giving a terrible introduction, Why don't you offer some background on what your analytic tool is. You're talking about ethos, pathos, logos. Explain what those are in a paragraph along with a synopsis of Heinz and then end with a thesis that points to Heinz ketchup. From that point on you'll be fine. I'm assuming this is some high school shit and you're trying to have just 5 paragraphs. Get rid of that disgusting intro.
Supporting body paragraphs 1-3: all of your arguments Lack support. You speculate and offer anecdotal evidence. The Heinz ketchup bottle seems to be what you're analyzing, you've listed the variables of influence from the bottle, and offered intuitive assumptions about its effect on the target consumer, do research to confirm those assumptions.
Generally it's seen as shitty to use personal pronouns because it assumes that your word has any worth,
>I would definitely buy this product at the grocery store cuz its pretty
>inb4 doesn't do anything I've suggested.
>>7359508
I want to know why, thats all. no need to get angry
>>7359913
i think i should have said this is an ad analysis, i choose any ad and talk about the rhetorics of it
pic related
>>7360075
Give me 1000dollars 75% up front and I'll write you an essay guaranteed b, probably aced esp if I can see the prompt n shit. I accept bitcoin
>>7360173
suck my dick first, and i turned it in hours ago
