I have mixed feelings now.
I've been on E for a long time.
I've been trying to make myself into what I want.
I wanted to be wanted by men. I wanted attention.
I learned makeup, I got/still am very skinny.
I've made myself into this mess that's not good for anything but someone's fetish.
I post pictures online to get compliments from men. I like that they say terrible things to me. I like the idea of being used and destroyed.
Then I don't. I feel gross.
This isn't about getting off. I don't masturbate. I just feel gross after these guys say really nasty things that they want to do me.
And yet I can't stop. I crave this attention. Good or bad. I want to be this way. It feels good in a really fucked up way.
I change myself in the ways men suggest online. I crave direction.
I don't fancy girls. I don't have any attraction to women at all.
I look at my girlfriend and I know I have to break up but I love her.
My life is fucking mess right now.
Any advice? What's going on my sexuality.
AGP doesn't fit.
This is probably a fucking mess but I am high as fuck.
The worst thing tho is that I don't seem to have the ability to fully accept this attention from men the way I want. Fuck.
I am crying at everything and getting high all night. I'm up until 3am everyday. I can't wait to get drunk or high when I'm off work.
I fantasize about killing myself everyday.
I'm ruining my life and I don't know how to not do this or feel so overwhelmed. Please just give me advice. I am going fucking crazy.
>>6446730
>Any advice?
Whenever I have serious questions I need to poser I always head down to my local Butger King(tm). Burger King has always been there for me to turn to during trying times and remains a steadfast beacon of hope and flame broiled flavor as I ponder life's questions.
>be me
>a highly intelligent gentleman who is picky about quality and value
>often looking for a delicious new lunch spot
>try Burger King on a whim
My friends I tell you, it was one of the best meals I have had this year. The crisp vegetables mixed with the moist and hot broiled burger. The cool soda, the hot and crunch fries, totally blown away.
I was able to get a value meal for $5.99 and they even complimented my shirt. They don't let Muslims touch your food and they also have ice cream.
Head on down to Burger King today and get yourself some good mood food. You won't regret it!!
>>6446782
Terrible meme tho. Funnier if you saged the post too.
>>6446782
You're a real fucking bitch burger King meme.
>>6446730
The oversaturation of that picture is triggering me.
>>6446851
I like it tho. It has layered meanings.
This is disappointing. ):
Any trans ladies out there ?
>>6446973
???
What's up?
>>6447007
Not much. How goes it.
>>6446730
Wew. this hit closer to home than I thought. Only just I don't post lewd stuff. Well, i'm going to bed. I've still got 1:30 hours before I have to get up for an interview.
>>6446870
>layered meanings
wat
>>6447163
Good luck with your interview. I hope you do well.
>>6447191
Over saturated = Shining overly bright, trying for attention even if underserved.
Cartoon = innocence, naivete, youth
The caption = pretty on the nose
The context = Mr. Krabs telling him he looks like a girl, his response is "Am I a pretty girl"
So an effeminate individual vying for attention of an older male authoritative.
Layers.
Exactly the same thing as you but I don't feel gross, and I don't get grossed out by it. Maybe that's what you need to fix.
Also you're not just fetish material if you're pretty enough. I'm dating a straight guy who didn't even know what trans people were from the get-go.
>>6447227
>Over saturated = Shining overly bright, trying for attention even if underserved.
>Cartoon = innocence, naivete, youth
>The caption = pretty on the nose
>The context = Mr. Krabs telling him he looks like a girl, his response is "Am I a pretty girl"
>So an effeminate individual vying for attention of an older male authoritative.
>Layers.
...
>>6446730
>>6447296
You know, I think this is actually the healthier option in a way. Or at least, what I finally decided on.
OP has this craving for male attention and likes being attractive to them. I think it's not so much it's a corrupt, degenerative behavior as much as he's made it a masochistic fetish because it takes the blame out of his hands if it's "forced" onto him. And the disgust comes from how extreme the fetish has to get in order to lose that control and blame.
OP, you need to really reflect on what you want out of a man. Consider scenarios of nicer men treating you like an effeminate person. Consider if you could find yourself romantically interested in someone like that. Would a healthy relationship with one man for an extended period of time where you found each other mutually attractive physically and personality-wise be something you're interested in?
Either way, I think it's time to stop punishing yourself. There needs to be a level of care or love for the things you do to yourself and others. That's the way to a clear conscious. At least, for me it was.
>>6447375
Corrupt and degenerate are insecure, self-flagellating alt-right buzzwords and I don't think she should take them into account when making a decision.
>>6446782
>They don't let Muslims touch your food -
Sold.
>>6447627
Honestly I hate bacon but I get it on everything I eat just to make sure some muzzie doesn't go near my food
>>6446938
Haha OP, a lot of people are going thru what you are.
At least we have humor!
>>6446782
Did the grinch move on
>>6446782
10/10
