Okay /lgbt/, please help me understand/process something. I'm a straight guy, and my girlfriend and I just broke up. She says it's because she's reflected and determined that she isn't bisexual, as she thought, but a "biromantic homosexual."
Honestly, I'm devastated. That said, I don't really understand what biromantic homosexualism is. Does it mean she still has feelings for me, but she isn't sexually attracted to me? We had a sexual relationship, and she definitely seemed to enjoy it (I know this from physical reactions and her flat out telling me so).
Is there anyone willing to explain a bit more what's going on? It was just a few days before she told me that she was saying how much she missed me, and wanted to be with me. I don't get it.
Gif very related
>>6405198
So basically she doesn't wanna have sex anymore but she still wants you to be her emotional dildo. Just tell her you need space and reevaluate becoming friends in a year or so. Break ups are like quitting heroin. You can't relapse or you are fucked, trust me. Neuroscientists actually use addiction models for hard drugs when dealing with break ups.
>>6405224
Part of it, though, is that I think she might be confused or reactionary. She's had violent experiences with guys in the past, and (as much of an asshole as it makes me to think this) she really didn't lean this way until after Orlando.
>>6405325
Huh, well regardless sounds like a time bomb and you as a human need to take care of your own well being. If she's willing to jerk you around like this because of these reasons she's not worth it. Sort through what your relationship was like and learn from it but you can't just fix someone so your relationship works. Either she'll resent you or she'll drag you down to her level and beat you with experience.
>>6405198
>biromantic homosexual
>We had a sexual relationship, and she definitely seemed to enjoy it (I know this from physical reactions and her flat out telling me so).
>It was just a few days before she told me that she was saying how much she missed me, and wanted to be with me.
Your gf is a woman; she doesn't know who or what she wants. That is the depth of her and your problem. Are you a nu-male, by the way?
>>6405198
Well she certainly does know some fancy words.
Give her a time to see, how will this work for her and wait or simply move to greener pastures, what other advice should you get?
>>6405433
>are you a nu-male
Absolutely not. That's why I'm confused by the whole biromantic shit. Honestly, I don't think she's gay.
>>6405198
Basically she's become a living tumblr meme. Cut her out of your life.
> That said, I don't really understand what biromantic homosexualism is. Does it mean she still has feelings for me, but she isn't sexually attracted to me?
Yeah. It basically means she can have "romantic feelings" for both sexes but only actually wants to fuck women.
>>6405224
>So basically she doesn't wanna have sex anymore but she still wants you to be her emotional dildo.
This is another way to put it.
>>6405198
Maybe you can't eat the pussy right
So she wants your money, and your emotional resources, but no sex 4u
>>6405499
>thinking I have any money
>>6405198
>Does it mean she still has feelings for me, but she isn't sexually attracted to me?
Yes. She's saying she only wants to have sex with women but she was capable of being in love with you/men.
>We had a sexual relationship, and she definitely seemed to enjoy it (I know this from physical reactions and her flat out telling me so).
Sexuality can be fluid.
As a gay guy that tried to have a relationship with a woman I can say it is possible to cum when having sex with a partner you're not attracted to, but it's often a miserable struggle.
>>6405473
She could also be bi, and just wants to be with a girl. But thought this would spare your feelings/make her feel better.
Best of luck processing the break up OP, and I am sure you'll find someone better than her.
I appreciate the responses. Thanks for helping me out. Y'all are the best. I guess I'll be back to update /lgbt/, even if no one cares.
>>6405198
>We had a sexual relationship, and she definitely seemed to enjoy it (I know this from physical reactions and her flat out telling me so).
Are you sure she wasn't faking a bit, if she truly enjoyed it she wouldn't break up with you over sex
Either way like >>6406120 says you can be not really attracted to someone and still cum or even enjoy it to some extent
I've had enjoyable sexual encounters with a guy I was plain grossed out by just by closing my eyes and thinking about chinese cartoons
>That said, I don't really understand what biromantic homosexualism is.
Having crushes on both sexes but only being attracted to one, exactly what the name says, don't look too much into it
>Does it mean she still has feelings for me, but she isn't sexually attracted to me?
Not necessarily, maybe she was just trying to say she loved you in the beginning, but never found you attractive, ask her
I don't think she's lying or playing tricks on you OP, she's literally just telling you she doesn't want to have sex with you because she doesn't find you attractive and that kinda defeats the purpose of a relationship for most people
Though I might be projecting a bit cause I was in a similar situation (somehow got a crush on a guy I wasn't into and still got in a relationship, just broke up a few days ago)
>I know this from physical reactions and her flat out telling me so
Yeah... nah...
>>6405198
>It was just a few days before she told me that she was saying how much she missed me, and wanted to be with me
sounds like you're both either very young or she's having some internal crisis mode. or both (my best guess).
Honestly, it mostly seems like you've dodged a tumblr time bomb, as inconsiderate as it sounds. Surely there are those who realize their sexuality late and after having relationships with the opposite sex, myself included, but there's near always this feeling or sign that something just isn't right, you know? I was in a relationship with a guy for years actually, but I thought I was asexual because we barely ever had sex (he ended up gay too lol) and I didn't see the point of it. Cue this one qt girl and my inner female Casanova awakened.
So while it is possible this Orlando happening for some reason sparked something in her, from what you've written it seems unlikely. Very sudden, no signs of aversion previously, a murky past, and age. It will be very tough right now but in the end I think this is the better for you, no matter the final outcome. If she is indeed gay breaking up now is better than when having a house and kids. If she isn't, well, an identity crisis regarding the very basic foundation of any relationship doesn't bode well and will probably take some time to solve. The relationship would struggle and you too would get involved and worn out. It would unfair to you to keep the relationship.
