31 years old and...

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Today I finally came out to my brother that I'm "gay" or at least seriously in love with an extremely cute guy online. He kind of reacted like I knew he would, totally accepting, totally fine with it.

Cried because I was so happy. Was happy to finally explain these feelings to someone close.

I really, really like this guy - he's about 6 hours away and moving across the country, so I know things are not going to work out into anything magical. But I have never been this desperately attracted to a member of the same sex - absolutely what I would call love. I don't want to "fuck" this guy, I just want to hold him and be with him.

Falling in love with him has taught me a lot though - a lot about myself. Still coming to terms with being out about this with anyone. But my feelings for this guy are so strong, I had to say something to someone.

My family is ultra-Christian and raised us all in pretty sheltered lives. My father is 70 and I have no intention of trying to explain to him why his 31 year old son is still "single" after all this time. I honestly think it's better that neither of my parents know, and I know I don't want to be open about this with everyone in public yet.

Not my personal journal, I know, but I'm just happy I was able to be honest about it with someone.