Hello everyone, I don't often (ever) post here, but I find I'm in need of advice. I also need to vent, but this is by no means a personal thread - shared insight/tears are welcome.
I'm a 20-year-old, non-scene, somewhat shy "puppy" student guy. Today I broke out of a year-long relationship filled with mental abuse and have emerged wasted to the bone. This man was over 10 years older than me and constantly used this fact to assert his superiority and dismiss all my claims & desires, no matter how much time and effort I put into convincing him otherwise. His opinion of me as a typical, shallow, soulless young man was inscribed in stone from day 1.
I feel like I want to retreat into a shell and lick my wounds, but at the same time I feel frustrated and afraid. Frustrated, because I have so much love to give that sometimes it feels like it coagulates into a knot in my throat and I have to hug myself or a pillow or whatever just to hold onto my sanity. Afraid, because I feel I'm wasting my youth and because, most of all, being a passive "puppy" type, I have no idea how I'd react to growing older, or how men would react to that as well. I have a profound need for (gentle) submission, yet I think it would be weird for me to continue this act later on.
When I say submission, what I actually mean is feeling protected, treasured, possessed. I want a man who'll hug me hard, who'll watch over me and the like. What I don't mean is seeing all my opinions discarded with a smug, contemptuous smile and a "when you're my age, you'll see/know/understand". What I don't mean is not being considered on an equal footing, being reduced to a number, treated with contempt and rejection.
So, question time: do such things (respectful, egalitarian age gap relationships ; 30+ men who like cuddling) exist? and how must I deal with my desire for "submission" and "cuteness" as I age - must/will I change my desires/tastes?
tl;dr a sprinkle of Peter Pan and a heavy dose of affection deficit.
>>5893723
Take the femgen route and use female hormones to stay cute, pups.
>>5893753
Don't want tits, low sex drive or other hormone effects.
Besides, are femboys appreciated for anything other than their youth and beauty? Do the attracted men express interest in their personalities, their minds?
>>5893788
Tits can be minimized by being thin, drive varies and the other effects aren't bad. I don't know honestly, but society and partners seem to tolerate your abnormalites better if you're phisically feminine/youthfull looking.
I mean if you look like an effeminate teenager/boyish woman then somehow you gain the "right" to not be judged for passivity or effeminacy and partners may actually like that thing, it's weird how being "cute" is only aceptable if you're a woman or look feminine/young.
Yeah, I know I messed with my body's maturation for shallow reasons and I've got serious psych issues. That said it does work for people, maybe you'd be happier cheating nature and staying a pup.
>>5893723
>Frustrated, because I have so much love to give that sometimes it feels like it coagulates into a knot in my throat and I have to hug myself or a pillow or whatever just to hold onto my sanity. Afraid, because I feel I'm wasting my youth
So is every femboy pretty much a psychotic childish twink on hrt?
>>5893723
>question time: do such things (respectful, egalitarian age gap relationships ; 30+ men who like cuddling) exist?
It's hard to answer for everyone , but as someone who has a thing for younger guys, I can speak for myself. I never disregard their experience on the basis of their age. They may have had less experience in a purely quantitative sense, but they have had different experience which is equally as valid as mine.
Don't generalize from one dickhead to everybody.
If anything, I'm more likely to take his experience as more relevant than mine, since he may be at a critical stage of life where his decisions and figuring himself out is most important and I want to care for him.
I have no way of answering your other question because it's outside my experience.
>>5893723
damaged good gen?
Puppy you say?
>>5898331
Spooky. Glad I've been on pills since teens.
>>5898331
>>5893788
what personality?
roleplaying your fetish-fueled idea of how a little girl behaves?
>>5898366
Uh, he said he's boyish and passive. What the hell does that have to do with your bullshit.
>>5893723
This is pasta or some derivative, right?
OP here. /lgbt/ is such a slow board.
Would just like the femboy/hormone crap to disappear from this thread. I'm comfortably cisgendered and happy with my looks, and would not want to conceal myself under a veil of artificial hormones and a pseudo-girly facade like dust under a carpet just to please the odd creep. It has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with personality, age, maturity, respect etc.
>>5894282
Thanks for the insight, it gives me a sense of hope. You didn't reply to the second part of the question - do you like cuddling, or do you find that childish ?
A kiss and a hug from France ;)
>>5898657
No, why would it be? The OP could've been taken out of a blog or secret diary. I don't see anything remotely "pasta" about it.
>>5898763
wow rude
