I dont know what I'm looking for really in terms of responses - it's just that I felt this way before reverting to Islam and it's something I've carried with me - I have even had relations since reverting I'm sad to say, but my belief was always stronger and they never felt right.
I've been fighting this fight mentally for years and have broken down many many times and friends and family don't even know who or what I am anymore so I dont even know what to think of myself.
I love God and I love islam and would choose it over any other way of life. But it's killing me, I can't rid my mind and emotions of what I'm going through now and I've got to a stage where I'm mentally exausted with the fighting.
People say get married, get married, but I do not believe this to be the answer. What if nothing changes and I end up leaving or breaking my wife's heart? I need to sort me out before that as I believe that the problem lies in me.
I feel like driving my head through my bedroom wall now as I type, I want to feel pain, it's scary but it's truly how I feel.
The eastenders storyline I'm like Syed and Christian in one and I hate it. I want to be normal, like any other Muslim.
I feel like I want to die, tonight, somehow some way, I know this is also a major sin in Islam but I may as well commit one last sin than many other worse ones I will do if I keep on living.
I dont know what I'm expecting off you guys seriously as I've prayed and prayed for help, guidance and forgivness but I don't know how long I can keep going. There's a space in my heart and I lust for a man to do it. I'm losing my mind and feel like I'm starting to lose control of my own body and mind. I really don't know what to do.
>>5766362
You know what you need to do. Don't fight it. Embrace it. Feel it flow through your veins.
>>5766362
tl;dr
Going from the title, you have two options:
1. Repress your gay side and be full-time muslim. Don't ever have sex and stay single and concentrate on whatever career you want to have. Become successful and maybe have a few flings here and there.
2. Drop your shitty religion and be openly gay. Leave your family and seek out any lgbt community wherever you live. Find a boyfriend and live happily but probably struggling to stay over water.
Your move, Mohammed.
>>5766362
>I love God
Allah*
In order to gain retribution for your sins you must sacrifice 3 goats and live the rest of your life as a holy man in the mountains.
not trying to tell you about your own religion dude, but despite what the media likes to portray, Islam is a peaceful and tolerant religion at its core - only after years of dilution has homophobia seeped into the culture. I myself belong to the LGBT+ community and come from a heavilyreligious background and I'm not going to tell you that your family will come around and accept you - 80% of the tie, they won't. The truth is that you'll only be happy once you look inside of youself and accept yourself for who you truly are. When I myself figured out I wasn't straight, I left to find myself. If you truly allow yourself to be who you are without any restrictions you'll be much happier and better things will come to you, though I know its easier said than done.
You need to deal with the internalised hatred, homophobia that you've been brought up with - i don't believe in a god but i'm a firm believer that if there is one, he made us all the way we are for a reason, don't let anyone tell you that who you are and what you're feeling is wrong.
Getting married isn't the answer - what you need to do as i said earlier is leave for a bit, find yourself and find a new vantage point in perspective. Meet new people, have new experiences, travel, see the world - there are muslims who will accept you for who you are - you just need to find your community and a new family in your friends and people who love and accept you the most
good luck my friend, I wish you all of the happiness in the world.
>>5766408
>Islam is a peaceful and tolerant religion at its core
In Islam what's the punishment for apostasy?
>>5766417
Death. A large percentage of so-called "moderate" muslims support the death sentence for apostasy, even in first world countries.
https://muslimstatistics.wordpress.com/2013/12/03/survey-on-islam-in-austria-18-of-muslims-support-death-sentence-for-apostasy-21-9-oppose-democracy/
The notion that Islam is at it's core a peaceful religion is laughable. Mohammed was a pedophile rapist war monger, and the religion is based on his teachings.
Quran (8:67) - "It is not for a Prophet that he should have prisoners of war until he had made a great slaughter in the land..."
Apostasy is really attractive. More people should do it.
Your religion is fiction, your sexuality is not.
Any internal strain you're experiencing in relation to your 'relationship' with god is self inflicted.
You deserve no pity because you're creating your own problems.
Islam is the least believable and most hate-filled of the Abrahamic religions...
At least realize that and switch to Judaism or Christianity where being gay isn't as condemned.
>>5766483
>least believable
Quran (16:106) - Establishes that there are circumstances that can "compel" a Muslim to tell a lie.
Bukhari (49:857) - "He who makes peace between the people by inventing good information or saying good things, is not a liar."
What you write about your situation moves me.
The only advise I can give you is to seek support from people who feel similar. Although you may feel like you are the only gay muslim, there are many others and talking to them will probably help you by feeling understood. I don't know how to find them, but there is probably quite some info on the internet.
Also I'd like to ask you: do you really feel deep down that your religion is good for you? I don't ask out of disrespect for your religion but out of respect for you. I am not here to judge you or talk you out of something you feel deeply connected with. But if you don't feel deeply connected to it and are afraid to admit this to yourself, dealing with this fears could also help you.
In any case, I wish you the best.
>>5766477
This
You've been conditioned to believe in and show affection for a diety that despises you for simply being who you are and loving certain human beings.
You can't change who you are, but you can change how you think and what you believe. Your religion is a six hundred year old scam that attempts to shame you for acting and thinking like a human, while your sexuality is natural and beautiful.
You are literally letting yourself by affected by an abusive relationship with a fictional being. Stop listening to your selfish, possessive, abusive god-boyfriend and get a real boyfriend.
Was in the exact same situation about 5-6 years ago.
Just apostatise. It's hard to let go at first, but atheism feels so much better.
Face the facts; you will never be accepted by Muslims or the Islamic faith, and continuing to follow this religion will ultimately end you, leaving you surrounded by mistrust and lies, living a sad, pathetic double-life. It hurts to admit, but that's just how it is; we don't hugbox here.
In the end, though, this is your choice. I can't make you do anything, but I can inform you of the possibilities of your future. You get to elect no more than two of the following three: Religion, Love, and Life. I hope you realise which option(s) is/are correct.
I'm the Christian version of you. Part of me wants to console you and tell you to stick to the centuries of wisdom informing your religious practices, and the other part wants me to tell you to get the fuck out of my country REEEEEEE
>>5766745
>Christian
Jean 13:34
>A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
I'm protestant and bisexual, and this verse said it, we're a in this world to love each other, that's it.
>>5766745
>the centuries of wisdom informing your religious practices
>1000laughingsluts.jpg
I mean, as a muslim he has some claim to this, but christians really need to BTFO when it comes to 'wisdom'
I get such tremendous satisfaction from threads like these.
Seeing people tear themselves apart because their views are incompatible with who they are.
>>5766979
Leviticus 18:22
>>5767008
>can't tell the difference between BTFO and STFU
>mocks others for lack of wisdom
Top hej
>>5767008
You understand that Islam is built upon Jewish and Christian scripture right?
>>5767062
>Levitucus
This is actually retarded laws for Jews, it doesn't represent Christianity (for me)
See :
Leviticus 16:27
>The bull of the sin offering and the goat of the sin offering, whose blood was brought to make atonement in the holy place, must be brought outside the camp and their hide, their flesh, and their dung must be burned up.
>>5767099
It's easy to take a passage like that out of context, but it doesn't negate the overt statement against homosexuality. I can understand why you'd choose to interpret the Bible in a way that lets you get what you want, but I just can't do the same.
>>5766394
lel mooslims say god too, allah is just the arabic word for it
>>5767117
And me I don't understand why you're still sticking to patriarchal rules that can't apply today.
But if you're cool with that and if it's 'your' vision, I can't say a word.
>>5766362
Just move to sweeden breh!
>>5767214
They absolutely can apply today, as with all limitations it's just a matter of choice.
apostate the religion, it's dogshit, come over to christianity.
is it because you were raised muslim?
>>5766362
imagine what would have become of you if you had been raised by atheists, or in some remote tribe where nobody has heard of Islam but they're okay with homosexuality: you would just be gay, without the conflict you have now
the crucial word up there is "if"
your problem is that you know two answers to two important questions, but they conflict with one another: yes you are gay; yes you must be Muslim
but people who don't ask questions don't actually know what they think they know, as in some thread I read once where a guy actually claimed to "love" a thing that was killing him, as if that made any sense at all
oh wait yeah that was this thread wasn't it
ponder the above question, and other related questions involving words like "if" and "why", and also make liberal use of the humble question mark
and quit playing god and pretending you know so much--you think you must be this and you must be that; well you're not any god and you don't get to decide those things, so if you think you know them then you must be missing something
relax a little and ask yourself what it is, and if you can't come up with a good answer, then go out into the world and find it
>>5766408
Islam is not a peaceful religion. Some muslim are peaceful but the religion itself is not
Islam is poisen. You are just to stupid and brainwashed to realize this because your parents and community indoctrinated you. It's poisen. But more importantly its false and you should not be wasting your time on it. Find another thing to replace it with inside that isn't false and poisen.
Thats my only advice
>>5766362
Stop being a Muslim you idiot.
Do what the girls do:
1. Abandon Islam
2. Move to California
3. Pretend to be Hispanic
4. Wear booty shorts and roller blade everywhere and enjoy your new life
Why waste your shit on Islam on all fucking things? Ugly religions, languages and cultures.
>>5766362
Join the Jihad and all your sins will be forgiven if you kill yourself for Allah. ISIS has stated all sins are forgiven if you joint he Jihad
>>5768173
It is in the Quran as well, if you kill yourself for Allah you will go to heaven and all your previous sins will be forgiven.
>>5768182
I am not sure what you are going to do with 72 female virgins and an eternal boner though, sounds more like torture to me
>>5766362
>People say get married, get married, but I do not believe this to be the answer. What if nothing changes and I end up leaving or breaking my wife's heart?
Even if you were straight, or for that matter marrying another guy, religious, secular or whatever. NEVER get married just because people outside of the relationship are pressuring you to get married.
>I dont know what I'm expecting off you guys seriously as I've prayed and prayed for help, guidance and forgivness but I don't know how long I can keep going.
Talk to someone that is capable of talking back constructively, sensibly and substantively. Like a secular therapist or psychiatrist, they're trained and willing to help you through this.
Advice: see a secular therapist.
Regarding getting your mind off of Islam ask yourself what you believe, and why you believe it. If you keep honestly nurturing that doubt long enough you'll be done with your religion in short order.
If you do this and still want to die/have an existential crisis please read Camus "The Myth of Sisyphus."
>>5766979
>we're a in this world to love each other, that's it.
I'm not even christian and even I know you've cherry picked around, or just plain aren't aware of, Corinthians 6:9-11. You're just love each other positions ignores the part of your scripture that explicitly states you'll never get to the "next world." Because that cult leader Paul, or whoever it was that forged the pauline epistles, was a homophobic douche that according to christian doctrine is supposed to be speaking for your god/savior.
>>5766408
>despite what the media likes to portray, Islam is a peaceful and tolerant religion at its core
That IS what the media tells people though and it's fucking bullshit.
> - only after years of dilution has homophobia seeped into the culture.
lel
I'm convinced that if I was born in the 60s or earlier, I never would have become ok with being gay. I am just so self-conscious and care too much what other people think about me.
I couldn't have weathered the constant messages from all around me insisting that it was sick and wrong. It would have sunk in too deep I think to ever change.
One thing that helped me was realizing that it wasn't purely sexual. Religious detractors of homosexuality almost always argue that is based solely on lust but your own feelings should be enough to convince you that isn't true. We crave male romantic companions in the same way straight men crave female romantic companions.
There is a visceral response to things like their smile and their voices that comfort you and lift your spirits without your mind necessarily going anywhere near lustful desire.
Most of us are pretty desperate for it by the time we are adults because we didn't go through a period in adolescence where we were allowed or encouraged to openly express these feelings and we didn't have constant exposure to examples of gay couples irl and in media.
That's funny OP. I'm a straight (slightly bi leaning) male and I've been considering converting to Islam lately. I don't believe in god or any other fairy tale bullshit but the religion sure does look fun.
[spoiler] just kidding CIA, FBI, NSA, ASIO [/spoiler] ehehehe....
Leave Islam
>>5766362
>as I've prayed and prayed for help, guidance and forgivness
and as usual god doesn't do anything. Everything makes so much more sense when you realise there is no god.
>>5766362
I find it funny how if in a story a god told different versions of how to worship him to 3 different people, knowing full well that they would go to war against each other, told that they couldn't worship anyone else and made the number and types of prohibitions that the abrahamic god did, he would be called a grade B mustache twirling villain.
Yet people still follow abrahamic religions.
OP you need to find a friendly therapist to help you sort things out. The truth is that if you are ever going to be happy you will need to change a lot, and you cannot change your orientation, ever. You know this is true. So you are either going to have to reconcile being gay and Muslim, or give up being Muslim, or just curl up into a tiny little ball of unhappiness and die even though being happy was a realistic option. If you are going to do one of the first two you will need some help on your path, because it is not easy.
So here is the first step of an actionable plan for you to return to happiness. Think about more bullet points to write down as you proceed. The important thing is that there are steps you can actually take to fix your situation:
- Find a secular, LGBT friendly therapist
Leave islam and be my bf.
I've always wanted an Arab boyfriend... >\\\\>
>>5766380
But what is he going to do with 72 virgin girls if he likes cocks?.
>>5766362
If you live in a muslim country just move to a non muslim one, if you live in a christian country(luckily not eastern europe/orthodox) just abandon your muslim family if they don't accept you.
Religion is a shit anyways, spirituality on the other hand is quite useful. I think islam has an spiritual branch called Sufism, i'm not sure if they care about your sexuality there, but maybe you should try it if you don't want to give up your current beliefs(although i think you're already transitioning out of your traditional beliefs)
>>5766362
The only correct answer is to call in a threat to the White House and scream Allahu Ackbar so you'll get droned.
Or do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFxfWupuxbE
>>5766362
Isn't blowing yourself up a central facet of your religion/culture? Just do that.
>1,000,000,000,000 hours in paint
>>5770993
I chuckled
>>5766979
>we're a in this world to love each other, that's it.
But gay people can't love so that kinda falls apart right there.
>>5767320
Christianity isn't much better, its all the same shit
>>5775744
This is a retarded meme somehow widely spread here on /lgbt/. Christianity is bad but it is not nearly as bad as Islam
>>5775880
OP's problem is that he hates himself because his religion (Islam) tells him to hate himself for being gay. >>5767320 suggestion is to switch to another religion (Christianity), which will likely alienate the people in his life that hold his old religion, to another slightly different religion that will still tells him to hate himself for being gay.
Typical. No solutions offered; just Christians proselytizing when it will do less than nothing to help someone.
~ ~ ~
>>5766362
OP, please talk to a secular therapist.
>>5766362
Wow, OP you almost made me want to vote for trump. Muslims are fucking dickheads sometimes. "Ooh, I want to kill myself bc an old as fuck book tells me to dieee."
>>5766979
>protestant
>christian
AHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA
GO BACK TO YOUR SHITTY ROCK MUSIC YOU FAGGOT
Get out of your shit-tier religion. Or don't and kill yourself. I could care less, Muslims are scum.
>>5767045
Im in a similar tiff, im a transbian who wants a family but doesnt believe in gay adoption. In my case it isnt as simple as ditching my belief because other people are involved. OP however has a clear solution, quit islam.
>>5783063
Buy a goldfish
>>5783183
faggot
>>5766362
If you're there still there, brother, take a look at Baha'i. They generally dislike homosexual marriage, however they themselves are an offshoot from Sufi Islam. The religion is heavily influenced by Islam, and I would argue it to be a good alternative. You can still love Allah and Muhammad, but less judgement from the same God.
Best of luck.
>>5783247
**Whoops, forgot to add that one of my friends from a while ago was a gay Baha'i and was loved and accepted by his community.
>>5783230
homo
>>5767117
old testament is for the old alliance with an old face of god in an old time with long time dead people. Christians follow the rules of the new alliance following the life of Jesus.
old testament is still in the texts so you know where you're coming from, but those are nots law to follow anymore for any Christian that understands his religion.
