so i have a problem and i thought i could ask here for advise
my family is openly very anti gay and i got "caught" in a situation with my best friend that can be misunderstood
so we where sitting on my bed he was wearing boxers and a t shirt and i was wearing a oversized sweater and boxers and he was sitting behind me with one leg wrapped around my waist while brushing my hair and at that moment my mother was walking in and saw it she didnt say anything she just closed the door and left
now im kinda scared cause i got a message that the whole family is going to be here in a few hours and we are going to talk and i fear they might throw me out of the house because of that and i dont know what to do how can i explain that it wasnt anything gay
pic unrelated
kill them and how old are you?
where do you live?
>>5364640
im 19 and live in germany
and i dont think i should kill them
>>5364629
Sounds pretty gay to me OP
>>5364657
why? i mean we didnt kiss or did anything gay at all
>>5364629
>>5364629
Just do a Clinton.
"I did not have sexual relations with that boy."
>so we where sitting on my bed he was wearing boxers and a t shirt and i was wearing a oversized sweater and boxers and he was sitting behind me with one leg wrapped around my waist while brushing my hair
>the stuff yaoi is made of
>not gay
>>5364880
kek
>>5364629
>that can be misunderstood
There, tell them they misunderstood.
But really, if they ask, you just like "being close" with your friends. It was just a kinda big nohomo and you acted a bit misunderstandable. That's what happened.
>>5364880
This is the only response.
>>5364952
my parents are really paranoid if i cant explain it in some good way im fucked
i once was grounded for a month cause they saw me hugging my friend and thought i "hugged him too close and in a way two friends shouldnt hug"
>>5364980
so you aren't gay, but you just do gay things?
>>5364990
If you really desperately want to get out of the questions like that, just say "times have changed since your childhood" and that it's nothing faggy. Wish you luck, it's truly fuck'd.
Also, go to your computer and phone. Wipe history, hide evidence, everything. Really. EVERYTHING: Even browser cookies.
>>5364980
>but we arent gay
Then what the fuck are you asking our help for?
Solve yer own damn problems mate.
>>5364995
why is this considered gay? if i want to hug my friend i will hug him and if i want to cuddle him i will also do that why is this okay for girls but when boys do it its instantly gay
>>5365033
duck test is never wrong m8
>>5365021
cause i thought people on /lgbt/ may have had similar situations ( just while being actually gay) and have tips for me
>>5365039
>people on /lgbt/ may have had similar situations ( just while being actually gay) and have tips for me
Yeah well we don't share with breeders.
>>5365007
they are like cavemen with technology so i usually can be sure they wont check there and idk if they will buy this i mean i will try but as soon as i imply that i think it was at some time faggy to do that i have already lost cause they will twist my words until i "said" what they suspected anyways
>>5365049
what defines "gay" i mean i got a handjob in the shower from my friend but we arent dating or anything so its not really gay
First things first: make a backup plan.
If they do kick you out, right there and then, you should have a bag packed already and permission to stay with a friend until things cool off.
It won't help you deal with them, but it will make a HUGE difference of they decide to kick you out, even if only temporarily in a fit of rage. And if you were wrong? Just unpack the bag and continue life like normal.
>>5365064
>i mean i got a handjob in the shower from my friend but we arent dating or anything so its not really gay
Oh. Ooooooooh.
You're one of THOSE people.
Ooooh. Should have told me way earlier.
Would have saved this awkward conversation.
>>5365076
yeah i already packed some stuff and the friend i was "caught" with said i could stay with him but that would lower the chances of my parents letting me back in cause it would only strengthen their theory that we are more than friends but i guess i have nowhere else to go
>>5365064
Are you cute? Because QT Germans who are "totally not gay or anything" are my type, and you can sleep under my bed in America.
>>5365087
>You're one of THOSE people.
pls explain i have no clue what you are talking about
>>5365101
The "yeah we totally fucked each other in the ass and said we love each other and we're basically boyfriends but we're like totally not gay" kind of person.
>>5365064
>>5365101
>got a handjob from a guy
>a guy made him hard and he kept up
>not gay.
This is what "those" means.
Anon - Denial. Buy the full audiobook of Anon's totally not gay sexual adventures with a guy on Audible.com
>>5365106
well we wanted to try if it was better when someone else is doing it because in theory its the same
>>5365101
u are not gay. stay in denial till you move out
It's only gay if you fuck two dudes at once, duh
>>5365114
>>5365099
my friends say i am but my english is horrible i have a german accent ( duh )
>>5365121
i dont think im in denial i mean i never really thought girls where attractive but i didnt really thought that about guys either so idk dont think thats gay
>>5365143
Ich kann ein bisschen deutsch sprechen, und meine Freunde auch. Ich bin ein Uni student.
Some on call Spiderman this post is cancer :3
>>5365161
und ich werde wohl nicht in die usa auswandern da mir das geld fehlt und ich auch studiere
>>5365202
Du sollst heir umschulen. Wir haben viele internationale deutsch Studenten. Und ich brauche eine “Straight“ Freund...
http://s000.tinyupload.com/index.php?file_id=35779667265850169931
>>5365258
etwas überzogen und ich werde meinen freund hier nich zurück lassen ...
Laugh at them, tell them what you were doing, continue to act flippant if they persist. Don't act like you got "caught" or are trying to make excuses.
>>5365301
i actually wanted to act angry at them for thinking i could be gay
>>5365318
but you are gay op
>>5365325
my parents hate gays and i learned that being gay is not really good ( pic related ) i dont think i am gay i dislike most gays especially the ones prancing around in pink stuff whoring around in clubs im the opposite of that
>from advise thread to /pol/ bait thread
Gee, who could have seen that coming?
>>5365351
>reading stats on gay as if it's a choice
>judging gayness by other gays
nigga, self-loathing gay is still gay
not every faggot is femme twink
You're so gay and in denial it's kinda cute.
>>5365374
wouldnt make a difference cause i depend on my parents and i already told how they reacted to ,e just hugging my friend
>>5364629
>Sit half naked on a bed with my "best-friend" who is also half naked while that friend wraps his leg around my hip and brushes my hair
What about this isn't gay?
>>5365461
the part where we arent gay i guess
>>5364990
*hugs* That sucks!!!
Is wishing the best for you.
>>5365351
about everyone hates flamers. did you miss the point at which people should have just started to assume, that every hairy big guy is gay? bear is the new twink. straight people are more flamboyant than gay people these days.
stop reading such bullshit and talk to some random gay guys on the internet or something (preferably not those actively looking for sex and only for sex)
to your problem: you're 19. how is that a problem? just be a fucking adult about it and explain your situation. how ridiculous is that situation even? if you were gay and wanted to hide it from them, you would probably not half-cuddle with your half-naked bestfriend in your room where anyone could see you. university is like gaytopia, no one's gonna judge you. just tell them if you wanted to make out with a guy it would not be at home. try to seem bored by the convo though, if you're too passionate, they'll probably think, that you actually do that.
for fucks sake, if this was the kind of thing, that I could call a problem I would be as happy as I've never been ...
>>5365524
thx its still 3 hours until they want to talk and im too afraid to leave my room
>>5365550
they would assume i already did it when i would lay it out to them like this they are manipulative and love to quote stuff out off context to make someone look good/bad
>>5365557
if you hide in your room they will think youre gay. although you are probably gay, and theres nothing wrong with being gay.
>>5365351
the only reason being gay is not really good, is because people like your parents make it that way. the same kind of people that made the bullshit in your image.
>>5365557
This song came to mind...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx5oOXZOiWc
You could just leave and come back in a day or week or two. Hope it all blows over. Yeah, it would trigger all thier worst fears, but things could settle down.
How will getting kicked out of home effect the rest of your life? Are they supporting you in college or university? Can you get on public dole?
>>5365675
so the numbers arent correct? i mean a few of them seem over the top
>>5365681
well i would run into alot problems they support me in university and i have not really somewhere to go i could stay with my friend but i cant stay there forever and i dont know about public dole i would have to research first
>>5365704
Just a few? xD
>>5365575
that's why i said be an adult about it. parents do stuff like that because they want to manipulate you to confess stuff. they want to abuse immaturity.
if you don't make a big thing out of it and treat it as what it apparently was (an innocent situation), they'll see, that they can't manipulate any confessions out of you. just be genuine and calm about it. it's not that hard. make them call your bestfriend or something. granted you're both straight, that can't be a problem, right?
parents tend to believe other people more than their kids when it comes down to stuff like that.
you're 19, an adult. don't make a big thing about it and continue treating it like that even if they try to make a huge thing out of it.
>>5365681
don't do that. if you leave, you only prove them right. you practically tell them, that this is a meaningful thing to you and not innocent after all.
>>5365635
im not really hiding i dont leave my room that often anyways so that isnt that odd for me
i actually thought my my friendship is fairly normal i never thought that it is considered gay i mean for girls its okay to cuddle and stuff like that why is it gay when boys do it?
>>5365721
Thought so. Again *HUGS* and good luck!.
I just get so frustrated by the phobes. I guess I question things to much to fall into phobic traps.
>>5365735
well im not sure if he is gay or bi i dont really care and im sure he wouldnt tell on me
even his parents would lie i guess they did help me before with my parents cause they are alot more open minded
>>5365768
did you ask him for advice or help already?
>>5365775
yes he said i could stay at his home for some time his parents dont mind and he was the one that brought the idea up to ask here for help
>>5365721
do you go to a big university? they can give you housing options if you make it clear to them that you need it.
the law is on your side, granted my knowledge isn't far reaching, but i am very sure parents in germany can't just kick you out and break off support. until you're 25 they have to support you monetary. if you're university is big enough it should have free lawyers for you to get some help.
>>5365790
well, okay then.
it's kinda important to consider your reaction in the situation. if the two of you flipped and tried to hide your sorta-cuddling, it will probably not work to play it cool. in that case just fake a break-down about loneliness and shit like that, how you just need some form of affection even if it is with your bestfriend. since he is your bestfriend it's all innocent and you don't have to be afraid to get into some gay stuff. easier than telling that you may do have some homo-romantic tendencies (what is definetly on the table if you reacted harshly).
if you didn't flip your shit when your mother enters, you can still tell them, that you didn't think about it that way at all. tell them, that you'd never do something this disrespectful towards them under their roof. you would indirectly tell them, that they're right about being against homosexuality and people like being agreed with.
as someone, who is educated in the precious art of being a lawyer I can tell you, that your reaction when being caught is the most important part about your strategy. consider the impression your reaction may have left on others and ask your friend about how he saw the situation. if you flipped your shit, you're probably already "guilty" to your mother.
>>5365848
i didnt really flip we both were talking and the door is out of our field of vision so i just heard the door close but it didnt close completely so i could see her going away so she might think i didnt notice her
> tell them, that you'd never do something this disrespectful towards them under their roof
i guess they wouldnt really buy it but it might be enough to get them in a position where they cant prove me wrong and have to drop it for the moment
>who is educated in the precious art of being a lawyer
my parents are both lawyers its shit they use all their lawyer shit on me
>>5365833
i could try that but it would take some time and if im honest i dont want to break contact with them or sue them they are my parents and i dont have extended family so i have only my parents and my friend
>>5365937
you can only lose then. don't try to play them, be honest.
>>5366000
so just tell how it was i mean they will not believe me thats my problem here
if i lie they will see it and i am fucked and if i tell the truth they will assume i lied good and will fuck me over anyways
why are lawyers such dickheads
>>5364990
Jesus if you aren't gay then you might as well try it out seeing as they're going to accuse you of it anyway.
This goes for all overly protective parents who have zero understanding of their children.
>>5366093
i had the thoughts sometimes when we were cuddling to just turn around and kiss him but thats wrong and im afraid of what would happen
If I didn't know that people this much in denial actually existed, I'd have written this off as a troll by now.
OP, what does "gay" mean to you? Maybe you're not 100% gay, but no 100% straight guys cuddles with his male friends and casually get shower handjobs from them.
What do you think would be wrong with not being straight (ignoring what your parents and other people would think for now)?
>>5366185
>what does "gay" mean to you?
well i have to admit i never thought about it i mean it was never something that had something to do with me
> but no 100% straight guys cuddles with his male friends
why not? i never got a answer to that question whats wrong with that? its nice to be near to someone and cuddling is great it makes me sleep better and it generally is nice
> casually get shower handjobs from them.
that was a one time thing we wanted to know why the older guys at school bragged about getting a handjob from a girl because it didnt make any sense for us that the same thing that is kinda okayish when done by yourself becomes super great when someone else does it
>What do you think would be wrong with not being straight
well my parents are smart people and why would they be so against it if not for some reason they might be dicks sometimes but they normally make sense when talking maybe its just something i dont understand completely
>>5366130
OP, you're so damn cute
>>5366265
>well my parents are smart people and why would they be so against it if not for some reason
Smart people can believe stupid things, especially when they're conditioned into believing those things due to how they were raised or the environment they were raised in (homosexuality was unacceptable enough to be illegal until recently in most places). There are doctors and scientists who are are young Earth creationists or who believe the Moon landing was a hoax.
But fuck that. Why do you think it's a bad thing? What actual reason is there for it to be bad? You shouldn't believe something just because other people believe it.
>well i have to admit i never thought about it i mean it was never something that had something to do with me
So you think it's bad without even being sure of or thinking about what it means? Really?
>why not? i never got a answer to that question whats wrong with that? its nice to be near to someone and cuddling is great it makes me sleep better and it generally is nice
>that was a one time thing we wanted to know why the older guys at school bragged about getting a handjob from a girl because it didnt make any sense for us that the same thing that is kinda okayish when done by yourself becomes super great when someone else does it
Nothing's wrong with those things, but they're romantic/sexual, which is why straight people don't feel comfortable doing those things. They're not just sexual; like you said, cuddling is nice, but straight people don't do it with their same-sex friends like that (nor do gay people do it with their opposite-sex friends).
>>5366130
aww
>>5366399
> Why do you think it's a bad thing? What actual reason is there for it to be bad?
well i dont think its bad in itself just alot people made it seem bad for the rest
>So you think it's bad without even being sure of or thinking about what it means? Really?
i wanted to say that i never thought of me or someone i know as gay and have no real opinion besides the ones i got told
>Nothing's wrong with those things, but they're romantic/sexual, which is why straight people don't feel comfortable doing those things. They're not just sexual; like you said, cuddling is nice, but straight people don't do it with their same-sex friends like that (nor do gay people do it with their opposite-sex friends).
i mean i really enjoy cuddling with him and sleeping at his side hearing his heart beat feeling his warmth next to me and i also doesnt regret the handjob thing nor do i think it was wrong i enjoyed it and it still is a guaranteed boner as soon as it comes to my mind but i never thought of it as gay or that any of the things i did where gay because i never was (and still arent) really attracted to women but also not really to man
i guess sexuality was just never really a thing for me
>>5366506
>i mean i really enjoy cuddling with him and sleeping at his side hearing his heart beat feeling his warmth next to me and i also doesnt regret the handjob thing nor do i think it was wrong i enjoyed it
you're definitely homosexual. what exactly would your family do if you were honest with them?
>>5366506
Sounds like you are homoromantic.
Also how does your friend feel about this? I mean have you asked him seriously about your guys relationship.
Also
> mean i really enjoy cuddling with him and sleeping at his side hearing his heart beat feeling his warmth next to me
That is so fucking cute I want to cry.
Seriously dude, you are gay as fuck.
>>5366527
no clue i really cant say how they would react they often react different to the same situation so i can never say if something will get me shit from them or if they will let it slip
but they would probably be very disappointed
>>5366547
>Also how does your friend feel about this? I mean have you asked him seriously about your guys relationship.
we never really talked about it it was just something normal that we both can enjoy without thinking too much about it
should i talk with him about that? or just let it be like it is?
>>5366612
the question is pretty much "would they kick you out or abuse you?" and if the answer is no, come out.
if you talk to your friend you could lose him or he could out you. you could also gain a really nice relationship. why would he let you cuddle with him and why was there a handjob? i mean if you already know he's gay asking him out won't hurt
>>5366635
i guess depends what you mean with abuse they would most likely hate me and no i dont think they can throw me out i still go to "school" (uni) and have no income or place to go i think being lawyers they know better
>if you talk to your friend you could lose him or he could out you
i dont want that to happen he is my only friend and also the person thats closest to me emotionally
>i mean if you already know he's gay asking him out won't hurt
but i dont know and im sure he would have told me thanks to my parents and their overprotectiveness its not rare talking about it
my parents are home since almost 1 hour but didnt called me down yet maybe they wait until tomorrow
>>5366733
so your parents won't kick you out, they'll just be passive-aggressive.
so you talk often about homosexuality with your friend. he gave you a handjob. you cuddle with him from time to time. you think he isn't gay? why?
>>5366750
i think he would have told me
>>5366778
but you didn't tell him either and you're clearly not straight. why do you think that is? it's a very sensitive issue for you and there's no reason to think it isn't for him as well.
>>5366788
so should i tell him? i mean what if he reacts bad
>>5366820
ultimately it's up to you. do you want a relationship? would he be okay with a relationship?
do you feel like you'd be lying to him if you didn't tell him you had these feelings?
OP, do you have mental health issues? I don't mean this in a cruel way but for a 19 year old you seem a bit underdeveloped, immature and dependent on your parents.
>>5366778
It might not seem that way to you but it's incredibly difficult to come out especially in your teens and even harder with people you're close to.
>>5364629
Seems pretty gay anon are you sure there is not more to this, you might regret it if you don't think this through. Sounds like you have a pretty good friendship there. Are you sure there is not more to it. I dont want to see a trhead from you in 2 years complaining that you missed a chance at true love.
>>5366885
>i fear it would do more harm than good for me
is that a rational fear? i thought you really enjoyed being with him.
personally i think you should talk with him. if anything, to establish boundaries.
>>5366835
he's a repressed gay kid in a shitty culture (sorry germany, you suck). what do you expect? a little emotional insecurity, perhaps?
>>5366897
> i thought you really enjoyed being with him.
i do , more than anything else i just dont know what else it would change and fear it would be worse than it is now
>>5366978
how could it be worse than it is now? you're mentally trapped and being dishonest with those around you by omission. talk to him ffs.
>>5366986
well maybe you are right but how should i bring it up?
>>5367012
that's a fairly difficult question to answer, because I don't know him.
maybe next time he tries something you stop him and explain a few things? that's probably how i'd d it.
>>5364990
you should have used a sidehug
>>5367022
i kekd
>>5364654
Haha du dumme Schwuchtel. Ich hoffe du stirbst du kleine schwanzlutschende Tucke.
Dieses Board ist ja ekelhaft man, voller sjw und Tucken.
Auf meiner Arbeitsstelle mobbe ich so eine kleine tucke wie dich. Schredder seine Akten, schmeiße sein Essen weg, tunke seine flasche Wasser in die Toilette und so.
Er weiß nicht wer er ist.
Wollte nur mal sagen was ich von euch homos halte.
Und dass du mich nicht reporten kannst schreibe ich etwas netters auf englisch.
>IN CONCLUSION OP, JUST TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. IF THEY THROW YOU OUR JUST SEE IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FINALLY LIVE THE LIFE YOU ALWAYS WANTED WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENDING YOUR FAMILY
>>5367051
glad you asked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa0EtdtPi8w
>>5367062
Dude wtf he's just giving you advice?? Or did I miss something?
>>5367073
the german part isnt exactly a advise and more a /pol/ tough guy rant about what he does to faggots
just put it into google translate
>>5367066
kek thanks for the precious life changing advice i will never again hug my friend from the front
>>5367051
something like that, yeah. that way you tell him out of consideration rather than nowhere. still though, if he doesn't reciprocate...i'd try to end it on good terms.
