>23 years old
>havent had any kind of relationship with a girl or a guy
>im too socially awkward to talk to people
>im not bad looking, and people who knows me already say im really nice
>been living in the tranny closet for many years
>wanted to start hormones at 19, its been 4 years...
I feel so retarded, I dont feel 100% trans, there are things about being a guy that I still like, also im "bi". But I can't get to enjoy anything at all, I dont enjoy being a guy, I cant enjoy being a girl, I cant be with guys, Im too retarded to be with girls.
Would somebody please end my miserable life ?
I will probably waste all the money I have been saving for transition to hire a killer to kill me, that way my mom wont suffer as much as if I killed myself.
>tfw your situation with your dysphoria is so retarded that you doesnt qualify for dysphoria anymore
>>5285210
You're one the only other trans I've seen here who can't get into a relationship
I'm fucked. I have no social skills, no confidence in my body, I'm unable to see myself as a man in a relationship, straight or gay, I don't like pussy, I like dick but not men.
I will likely stay lonely until I die, unless I transition and even then I don't know if I won't still be a broken human being.
Let's hate ourselves together anon.
>>5285317
Sometimes I would like to feel like a normal man and fuck hot girls. But some other days I feel like a total faggot.
About transition, its something aesthetic I think, I dont feel dysphoria toward my dick, but I hate being hairy and my hair and not being able to dress cute/good.
>>5285348
Yeah I feel the same about my body and presentation. I've never ever wanted to have sex with girls though, in fact I've always felt most alienated when I was being perceived as a potential sexual predator towards women. If my sexuality wasn't utterly broken I would most certainly be a total sub.
Can't seem to get off my ass, swallow my pride and talk to an actual professional instead of strangers on the internet. My depression is getting to crippling tier.
>>5285415
I have had crippling depression since I was a little kid, in fact I was going to kill myself back when I was 12 or 13.
i dont feel bad looking, im really skinny, feminine and have long hair, but my retarded self esteem and shyness makes everything so hard.
Some people have told me I have potential to pass as a tranny, but Im too afraid of transition, I rather be an ugly man than an ugly tranny.
>>5285669
Is there something else than just self-esteem preventing you from getting in a relationship? Like can you picture yourself getting intimate as a man?
>>5285816
No, I would date a manly man, probably I could date a twink in secret, with nobody knowing and not being fag at all in public. I was raised a homophobe and I still am.
